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Monday, May 20, 2019

Our Crap Runneth Over

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, lefty lucy, democrats, candidates, 24, president, booker, harris, sanders, hillary, warren, beto

With the announcement that Bill "The Worst Mayor in America" De Blasio has thrown his hat into the badly overstretched ring, there are now 24 Democrats vying to become the next presidential candidate to be beaten by Donald Trump like a fluffy egg white meringue atop a Loser Lemon pie.

Frankly, we can't wait for these clowns to take the debate stage and hear how they struggle to differentiate their policy positions from each other. After all, they pretty much all want the same things: higher taxes, more government control, socialism that will actually work for the first time ever, "Medicare for all," reparations for slavery, freedom to abort babies who start to get annoying after a year or two, a "living wage" for jobs which can be done by three-toed sloths, the banning of guns and other things that "look scary," the repeal of Free Speech, replacing coal and oil with clean and affordable imaginary energy sources, official ratification that there are 732 different genders whose dignity demands that they all need different bathrooms and glory holes and, most importantly, all of the candidates are promising to feed Donald Trump into a wood chipper feet first so that everyone on the Left can enjoy the expression on his face.

With all of this policy overlap, some of the candidates are having to stake out very narrow niche positions just to get noticed. Bernie Sanders has recently announced that he'll make Larry David his vice president, so that any succession of power would be undetectable by the naked eye. Beto O'Rourke promises to be a strong advocate for Irish people who believe themselves to be Hispanic.

Cory "Spartacus" Booker has promised that, if elected, he will serve his entire term dressed as a gladiator. Joe Biden is breaking from the pack by making it clear that no one hates old white men who have been in Washington forever more than he does.

Elizabeth Warren expects to pick up momentum with her catchy slogan: "A Slightly Less Annoying Hillary." And of course, Kamala Harris is separating herself from the pack by pointing out that none of her worthy competitors has nearly as much experience blowing Willie Brown.

Democrats, this is your circus and these are your monkeys. The rest of us are just going to pour some stiff drinks and enjoy the really big show.

41 comments:

Crazy World said...

I am actually enjoying this.
Cheers!

Jim G. said...

This is going to be better than the Super Bowl!!

Anonymous said...

The only ones to benefit from this circus is the TV media by selling campaign spots to said loser candidates. Trump should mention this in his tweets as them contributing to his booming economy. I have yet to hear of even one thing for the betterment of America, improving the economy, security of the country or immigration. It is all about impeach Trump and so far that is their only plan. I wonder if Vegas is taking bets on who the nominee (loser to Trump) will be. As you said, it is gonna be a circus as they attack each other to prevail in the nomination.

Fish Out of Water said...

Oh yes, highly entertaining, even if it engenders much face palming.

With Joe Biden appearing in the running dog media as the already crowned nominee, wonder if we are seeing the hand of the most vile, venal , bitter clinging, pathological serial liar and certifiable deplorable?

To me, having Joe as the nominee, and the rest of the howling mob shut out, makes me hope the howling mob will take their marbles and sulk on the sidelines.

Joe also gives us another shot at the legacy of the worst electoral mistake since the peanut farmer from Plains Ga .

Brie Camembert said...

It looks as tho' the Impeach virus is spreading. RINO senator Justin Amish has now succumbed, and he too wants to join the clowns in the presidential circus.
Never underestimate the stupidity of the Rebublican party

SpectreRider said...

The one and only thing any democrat candidate can do for the betterment of America at this point in time is to lose badly. And take their water toting press corps with them.

Fish Out of Water said...

@Brie: What is really face palm worthy is how the running dog media has run with this nothingburger. Watching the local NBC affiliate, waiting for the weather forecast this morning, they ran this as one of the lead stories. And the talking heads were smiling at if they'd been given the inside story on the garden of eden.

Fish Out of Water said...

Another recent story in the WSJ on the plight of our millennials serves to remind they are just the sort of voter "Spartacus ", Fauxahonas, et. al, are aiming for.

Pete (Detroit) said...

Brie, he's a reprehensitive. Both our stinkators are Dums.

Also, no Johnny update yet? Boo!

Buckwheat said...

Question is; Did Willie reciprocate? Perish the thought!!

james daily said...

As the baggage keeps falling out of the current crop of wannabees, I have no idea who will be the eventual candidate but I strongly suspect it will be Hillary again unless she is under indictment. Her baggage has already been aired so it is "old news" and not worthy of repeating. I am still wondering how the Hunter police report escaped for three years, as I suspect the fix was in at the police station. No way in heil most every policeman working there knew about it (and the FBI) but Not One Leak, even from the rental agency clerks? Sounds like a visit from the Men In Black.

T.Ann said...

So many clowns, not enough make-up.

Fred Ciampi said...

With all of the promises being made by all of the candidates I remember when Buck O'Fama was running he said "This is the greatest country in the world and we're going to change it". And, as we all sadly know, he won and nearly succeeded in changing the best country in the world. So I say again, "Never underestimate the ignorance of the American voter".

I have spoken to many folks that I know who hate President Donald Trump (I love saying President Donald Trump) and when I ask for specifics, I just get a blank stare. Not one person can tell me exactly what President Trump has done to cause their dislike. I could go on but my moonshine is getting warm.

It's going to be a long and enjoyable year.

Alej said...

One of your best coffee-spitters, Stilton... thanks !

Rod said...

We've been a bit busy & distracted; thanks for the program guide. This should be good show.

These people are proclaiming their own intrinsic lack of respect for the office just by thinking they have the integrity & credentials to hold it. I cannot imagine any of them taking the Oath of Office without a lightening strike.

Navyvet said...

By Golly you nailed it. As you pointed out, to the average citizen, their "platforms" are basically all the same. But you highlighted the differences they each can exploit. However that will really split the the loony er democrat voters.
Bernie will score the hard core commies although if DeBlasio gets it that will split that vote, Touchy Feely Joe the pedophiles, Lizzy will get the harpy whining women, Booker the cross dressers, and Kamala the, albeit few, real men.

SteveO said...

#Shartacus

Phil said...

Mayor Buttigieg (South Bend, Indiana) has a lot to offer. Like his city actually being more violent than Chicago! That's the kind of leadership we are all craving. NOT!

Alfonso Bedoya said...

I never knew that Kamala Harris had "dated"(a term that no longer implies sharing dinner and a movie, and maybe stargazing) Willie Brown (he turned 85 in March). As Redstate.com points out:

"In 1995, she began dating Brown, then Assembly speaker and one of the most powerful men in California politics. Brown put Harris on the state Unemployment Insurance Appeals Board and the California Medical Assistance Commission, part-time posts that supplemented her prosecutor’s salary with nearly $100,000 in extra annual pay."

Rod said...

It doesn't seem like anyone can F*** their way OUT of the Office of POTUS. Perhaps Kamala Harris is trying to F*** her way in?

PS: I watched her "performance" in the attempted skewering of A.G. Barr in Senate committee hearing. She was totally disgusting but had buddies there & was on camera. Elsewhere alone... she may have had the crap beat out of her. There's yet another bitch in DC town.

Fritzchen said...

At this point the Democrat Clown Car needs to be replaced by a Sewage Waste truck from Port-a-Potty!

John the Econ said...

My favorite aspect of the Trump era is that every argument put forth by Progressives inevitably boomerangs back at them in short order.

Wanna have some fun? Scroll back 4 years on your Progressive friends social media feeds and find the inevitable posts about how "lost" the GOP was because they had more than a half-dozen candidates to choose from. At the time, I was commenting that at least Republicans had a choice to vote on. For the Democrats, the only candidates that were allowed to run against Hillary was some ex-mayor that nobody had ever heard of before who's city had just burnt to the ground and a whacky socialist who wasn't even a Democrat. When you find such posts, add "24, and counting".

As for our current field of Democratic candidates, (and I literally mean "field" in that you need a large one to contain them all) we're still in the "bidding war" phase, where each is working diligently to stand out by promising more "free" stuff than the next guy.

It used to be that Democrats felt the need veil their generosity in some idea of "for the greater good". No longer. The candidacy of Bernie Sanders 4 years ago broke the floodgates for personal greed. (Socialism is the real ideology of envy and greed) It's now safe for Democratic voters to demand free stuff for themselves to be paid for by someone else, and Democratic candidates to promise it. This shouldn't come as a surprise, as we've long past the point where 50% of the population are now "net consumers" as opposed to "net producers". "Democracy" is just the polite name for "mob rule", and it's only our beleaguered Constitution that protects us from the tyranny of the masses.

ringgo1 said...

"Live entertainment"...

Shelly said...

@Brie: There's nothing the media loves better than a Republican who trashes his own party and particularly Trump. I call this the John McCain effect. This previously unknown guy knew he would get a lot of media attention with his antics. However, when the spotlight is on you, some people start digging into your past and find some unsavory things. This is apparently happening to him. Good.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Crazy World- Yes, we were overdue for some comic relief. The Dem field is providing it nicely!

@Jim G.- Absolutely!

@Anonymous- You're right that there will be fortunes made by those selling TV time. That's why so many networks peddle fake news to assure eyeballs...which translates into higher ad rates.

@Fish Out of Water- I won't believe that Hillary's not running until after the winner of the 2020 election is certified. I think she's letting Biden run interference for now, but will swoop in later.

@Brie Camembert- Justin Amish basically said that any president can be impeached for any darn reason his opponents think up. I'm pretty sure that's not what the founding fathers had in mind.

@SpectreRider- I absolutely agree.

@Fish Out of Water- You've touched on the really terrifying part of all this; the reason people like AOC and the rest have real political power is because their supporters are genuine idiots who know nothing but are filled with self-righteousness. Ignorance is dangerous, and the Dems are cultivating it.

@Pete (Detroit)- Oops! I've updated Johnny now. I had a brain fart.

@Buckwheat- I don't even want to think about it...

@james daily- I don't think Hillary would be knocked out of running if she was only under indictment. Underground maybe. But only maybe.

@T.Ann- That's beautiful.

@Fred Ciampi- In many ways, Obama did change our country for the worse. Thank Heaven that Hillary didn't get the opportunity to make those changes permanent. As for the anti-Trump folks, I recently spoke to a guy who put it well: "I don't like Trump but I like his policies." For anyone sane, that should be enough to vote for Trump.

@Alej- Some days, I just like having a little fun with the commentary. This was one of those days.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Rod- I think both Obama and Trump have changed the rules about who can get into the Oval Office. It's all about media management, popularity, and entertainment value now. I don't think professional qualifications mean much anymore and I'm very worried about that.

@Navyvet- I think Biden will continue to lead the field because all of the other candidates will be splitting the huge "wacky" vote, while Biden gets all of the more moderate vote. It's a much smaller group, but still larger than the pie slices the other 23 candidates are getting. This is the same way that Trump dominated the GOP nomination process: he had a core following that wasn't huge, but put him ahead because all of the other candidates were splitting votes because of their similarities to one another.

@SteveO- I will never think of Booker any other way now.

@Phil- I have family in South Bend. It's a nice place if you know the areas to avoid, but Buttigieg hasn't worked any miracles there.

@Alfonso Bedoya- Yep, they were an "item" as we used to say. And it suddenly strikes me that it must have been tough on Willie Brown in his school days during roll call, and he had to reply "yes" to "Brown willie?"

@Rod- Yeah, Harris is godawful and doesn't care how offensive or stupid her statements are as long as she gets her sanctimonious puss on TV. "Puss" meaning "face," I should clarify.

@Fritzchen- Ooh! Ooh! I'll contribute to any Kickstarter campaign that will pay for the truck!

@John the Econ- Amen, brother.

@ringgo1- And complimentary nuts!

@Shelly- Exactly right.

Colby Muenster said...

@Stilton,
As Yoda might say, "In fine form today you are." Still giggling about the Loser Lemon Pie. Yes the field is a giant clown car, but we know the Dim's M.O. They will all bash the living crap out of each other for things they all believe, then when a frontrunner emerges, they'll all be best buddies again. My money's still on Bernie.

@John the Econ,
Oh I well remember the lefties ragging on the Republican party about having so many candidates. Showed how much in disarray the party was. They had no clear direction. Using the shotgun approach.

Of course, the Democrats have 24 candidates because they are UNIFIED... dammit! So many excellent choices! How could we go wrong?!

I have no bold predictions for Trump's chances, but if he manages to win, it almost makes me giddy to anticipate the mass explosions of heads on the left. Even better would be a Reaganesque landslide like 1984.

Fish Out of Water said...

@Stilton: It is indeed frightening to see how the likes of AOC, et.al. would appear to millenials as a combination of the Pied Piper/Messiah, but on the other hand, you could argue they've been played. The question being, by whom?

james daily said...

It just dawned on me why the dems have so many candidates, thank you Econ, and it is because President Trump came from Dead Last to winning the nomination and then the Presidency. Since each and every one of the dem candidates are smarter and more likable than Donald Trump, they should win in a walk. What I do like about so many "choices" is they are splitting the donations. And as George Wallace said in '64, "There is not a dime's worth of difference between them."

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

May be time to update the KJV: "A fool and his vote are soon parted." :)

Old Cannonballs said...

Whether or not it really was Ben Franklin who uttered the famous comment, "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for dinner," as the slide of our country continues it's just a matter of time until iwe can say "Democracy is 300,000,000 parasites and 25,000,000 producing members of society voting on who's going to pay for free everything for everybody."

Rod said...

@Old Cannonballs: Except when the 250 million producers refuse to go along with that plan and put up decisive resistance or just move.

JustaJeepGuy said...

@Colby Meunster said

"Even better would be a Reaganesque landslide like 1984."

LBJ in '64, Nixon in '72, Reagan in '84. These were REAL landslide elections. LBJ won 44 states, Nixon won 49 states, Reagan won 49 states. (These are the landslide elections I remember) Trump in 2020 in a landslide like that would really cause head explosions in the Demo_Rats. I'd pay good money to see it!

SpectreRider said...

So, she's a whore?

SpectreRider said...

Yes, but each is harvesting data from supporters. That pooled data will be used to help the eventual nominee.

John the Econ said...

@JustaJeepGuy & @Colby Meunster, speaking of landslides, did you catch what went down in Australia the other day?

What the Bloody Hell Just Happened in Australia?

A shocking election upset has confused Australians searching for answers.

Don't bother reading the article for the answers, because I'll tell you the real one they will spend dozens of paragraphs dancing around: Australians soundly rejected higher taxes and the phony green agenda. Like with Brexit and Trump, this was another election where the all the "experts" and all the polls declared the left "inevitable" winners weeks ago. In fact, the election was so "inevitable" that Aussie bookies actually paid out the results before they were official, and then took a bath on the mistake.

For the last several years, Progressives in Australia had launched full steam ahead into the "renewable" agenda with carbon taxes and shutting down their carbon-based generation capacity for wind and solar. While lying to everyone about how much money they were going to save, instead they only succeeded in destabilizing the grid and the lights literally started going out. The same politicians that created this mess had to truck in diesel generators to save their asses.

The experts were shocked, shocked, I say, that this would upset people and that the voters would take out their wrath at the politicians responsible.

I've been telling my Progressive friends for years that if they think Trump is bad, just wait for the kind of politicians that will emerge when the lights start going out. They'll make Trump look like Barney the Purple Dinosaur.

I'm not saying that a Trump landslide is inevitable or even likely. But what I do know is that the polling data has become absolutely useless. At best, it's gauging the enthusiasm of the vocal minority on the left. What I can say is that as long as the economy continues to move along better than it did during the entirety of the Obama era, the current themes that the Democrats are currently pushing which are either "Socialism Now!" or "Make America 2009 Again" aren't going to be resulting in a landslide for the left.

james daily said...

Econ: Just an observation: To build a building, a pond or anything else, one must get "Environmental Impact Statements" but to change infrastructure such as shutting down coal burning electrical plants, putting up windmills for electricity, solar crap for your house and such, one in not needed. They know what is best for us and absolutely do not care of the resulting chaos that ensues from their ignorant decisions. Windmills kill thousands of birds or hundreds daily. They make a noise that is devastating to people with good hearing and it goes on and on.
I believe all those damn wind generators should be shut down until they figure out how not to impact birds and people and we have No idea how they affect deer and dogs and wolves and such with excellent hearing.

Beans said...

All of this doesn't matter.

The last 6 or so end-runners of the DNC were those who's 'biography' 'sold' the most copies.

Clinton, Gore, Lurch, Obama, Hillary. All had biography sales that were significantly larger than their competitors.

So who in the DNC pool has the largest sales of a biography? Absolutely none of the 24+ current candidates. Only one has huge sales. And she's lurking in the background. You know who it is. Michelle Obama. It's coming. Unfortunately...

John the Econ said...

@james daily, I agree that the playing field should definitely be leveled. For example, should a wild bird be killed in an oil field, there's all kinds paperwork to be done and punishments to be levied. But should an eagle get whacked by a windmill, well, never mind. That's just collateral damage for other people's political vanity.

If you don't find this entire compilation as entertaining as I do, just move forward to 2:15:

Best Wind Turbine CRASH/FAIL Compilation HD 2016

But don't be too pessimistic. For example, the rich leftists who live on Cape Cod have managed to use every environmental block in the book to prevent their precious views from being spoiled by windmills. And even lesser sophisticated people in flyover country are getting in on the act.

Igor said...

This reminds me of:
"The roar of the greasepaint, the smell of the crowd!!"

MORE POPCORN!!

capt fast said...

I recall when hilda was in the senate. the picture of her during the state of the union address has always stuck with my memory. it reminded me or el duce, the mussolini dictator on the balcony of rome, awaiting the adulation of the masses to subside during a break in his speech, with arms folded and the self satisfied smug look of a unimpeachable tyrant lording it over the vassals and scum of the public. that night, I renamed her "el douche".