Tan O'Clock and All's Well

As promised, we've brought back this popular feature in which women of temporary color give their unique and valuable perspectives on breaking news stories. It is entirely coincidental that this feature will almost always appear on very slow news days...

Yes, that first model is a Democrat.

All of the headlines above are from the Drudge Report, but we haven't bothered to create links because - seriously - who wants to know more about this stuff?

We will say that the shutdown is getting interesting, and we find it amusing to hear the increasingly alarmed predictions of the end of our republic - usually without any mention of the fact that Chuck and Nancy could end the whole thing with a single phone call. But surely, they don't want nationwide chaos during the Trump administration, right? Right...?

And yes, Beto O'Rourke live-streamed his dental cleaning while interviewing the hygienist on her thoughts about living near the Texas/Mexico border. An action which frankly leaves us at a floss for words.

And the last story is about how the birth rates of white women have declined in virtually every state to the point that white populations will continue to decline as the birth rates of Hispanics and African-Americans increase. We are not reporting this as a good thing or a bad thing, but rather as a point of statistical interest and, most importantly, as an excuse to post pictures which might briefly inspire some white guys to show a little damn initiative in the fertilization department.

BONUS: IT'S BEEN BEATEN TO DEATH, BUT WE STILL HAD TO DO IT...

Spark of Genius

Okay, this isn't really what Donald Trump proposed in last night's 8-minute address to the nation about the need to fully and immediately fund security for our southern border, as well as the President's intent to continue the government shutdown as the only possible method of getting the Democrats to take part - however unwillingly - in our nation's defense.

The President spoke eloquently of the high costs of our current inadequate security. A flood of illegal drugs, weapons, and gang members bringing suffering and death to Americans, as well as devastating the job market for African-Americans and Hispanics, and costing taxpayers untold billions for support services for our uninvited guests.

But as frightening as the President's statistics were, they can't compare to the terror we experienced when our TV screen was suddenly filled with two soul-sucking faces that put the "butt" in rebuttal...

Schumer and Pelosi glowered into the unblinking camera and lied their shriveled rear ends off about what Trump had said only moments before. They characterized his statements as lies and hate, and claimed that Democrats are actually wildly enthusiastic about funding border security as long as Trump just ends the shutdown so the matter can be (ahem) "debated" separately until a bipartisan solution can be reached. Because the last 50 years or so of debate haven't quite been enough yet.

They claimed that Trump's wall - or any physical barrier - would be expensive and inefficient. Not terms we remember them bandying about in regards to other Democrat programs, let alone Obama's disastrous "shovel ready jobs" program which cost over 100 times what Trump is requesting for security measures. As a jobs program alone, this could be characterized as a success for Democrats if they'd just allow it to happen.

Interestingly, Schumer and Pelosi didn't bother to address how to stem the ongoing flood of illegals into our country, nor how to eliminate the direct threats to the lives and well-being of Americans. They stared into the camera like a nightmare version of the couple from Grant Wood's "American Gothic" painting, interested only in stoking fear and hatred.

Bottom line: the point-counterpoint speeches reaffirmed our belief that the wall needs to be built, and that a continuing government shutdown is the only way to get Democrats to do remotely the right thing.

Steady on, Mr. President.

First Day on Hijab

Rock on, Rashida.

Immediately following House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's straight-faced (or perhaps overly-Botoxed) pledge that her party would conduct all future political business with "respect" for the opposing side, a new Muslim Congresswoman from Michigan (we believe she represents Dearbornistan) jubilantly declared of President Trump, "We're going to impeach that motherf*cker!"

Rashida Tlaib has refused to apologize for her gutter language (seriously, does she pray to Allah with that mouth?!) and Nancy Pelosi finds no fault with the statement, categorizing it as a "generational" use of language - apparently under the belief that everyone in Tlaib's generation is a trash-talking shithead. Which, we'll concede, is a possibility.

We'll admit that we were particularly taken aback by Ms. Tlaib's language owing to her Muslim heritage (what kind of Mickey Mosque house of worship is she attending, anyway?), considering the highly kinetic ways in which that culture frequently disciplines women for public displays of obscenity. Or showing their faces.

Donald Trump tweeted that Representative Tlaib's comments had "dishonored her family," perhaps as a wink-wink, nudge-nudge reference to how that particular crime is sometimes handled by the Sharia branch of the religion of peace.

Clearly, though, only minutes after being sworn in, Tlaib has already dishonored the House of Representatives and the constituents who sent her to Washington. And we would say that she's dishonored the Democrat party if that were still even remotely possible.

But free speech, even when offensive, should remain free. Which is why we share this final thought from our good friend Johnny Optimism...