tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7492406791849373430.post5287188485694138742..comments2024-03-23T17:29:56.224-05:00Comments on Stilton's Place: Make Him An Offer He CAN RefuseUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger53125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7492406791849373430.post-70458282518403698672022-07-20T06:17:13.379-05:002022-07-20T06:17:13.379-05:00Hi Stilton, Through these many years I have read s...Hi Stilton, Through these many years I have read so many of your political satire. The loss of Kathy has been so hard for you. After almost five decades in marriage (probably more including pre-marriage), it is too humanly understandable. At least you can now express your grief with more attention to being witty. As far as dieting goes, distraction always beats will power. Please try to use it because you are a treasure to all of us who enjoy Stilton's forays into the political arena. I have found that it's easier (not very easy but easier) using distraction when thinking of eating something sans nutrition for something that does. Not having Kathy around to help monitor your "diet" isn't helping you. If for nothing else, your daughter needs you around much more than we, your loyal readers, do. We love you!Irene Pedutohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11133961730915924600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7492406791849373430.post-67249990322222343282022-07-13T16:00:15.088-05:002022-07-13T16:00:15.088-05:00I'm saving that letter, but hope I never have ... I'm saving that letter, but hope I never have to use it. Realtors are driving us NUTS, with CASH offers, even though they have no information on us, other than that we are "old," (i.e, "elderly," or "seniors,"---(terms which I hate even more) and due to our so-called "advanced" ages have no more brain-power than does Josef Biden. Second in line are the vultures who want to sell us "life insurance," even though we don't need it. Realtors we have never met have assumed the mantle (originally assigned to lawyers), and their usurious 5% or 6% fees for "services" to sell properties that will sell without any help is outrageous. I have sold properties myself without having any "help" from realtors. All it takes is working with a rep from a reputable Title Insurance company.<br /><br /> We have managed so far to deflect the little dingbats from India, Pakistan, Morocco (or God knows where else) to buy warranties for our cars in case we have mechanical breakdowns. My wife doesn't want to mess with them, but I love to assume one of my many phony foreign dialects so as to drive them crazy for over a half-hour just to take up their time. Alfonso Bedoyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12275837016861108459noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7492406791849373430.post-27257319590223848672022-07-08T10:04:31.055-05:002022-07-08T10:04:31.055-05:00Other fun suggestions: May you be pursued by a hor...Other fun suggestions: May you be pursued by a horny porcupine, a Pepe lePeu with many pricks. Offer a free cactus dildo. Send her mother a free retroactive abortion. Great to see you perhaps recovering a bit. My love passed many years ago, but I have no advice worth a tinker's dam.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7492406791849373430.post-7920634539415697442022-07-07T11:18:44.263-05:002022-07-07T11:18:44.263-05:00When a call like this comes your way and dims your...When a call like this comes your way and dims your otherwise sunny day, try this: In an excited and semi-whispered voice, say "Where are you? I need help hiding these bodies!", then hang up.<br /><br />Either they will NEVER call you again, or the next call will be from the police.Murphy(AZ)https://www.blogger.com/profile/08096111370780976408noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7492406791849373430.post-1381739162810086152022-07-06T22:04:17.538-05:002022-07-06T22:04:17.538-05:00We used to live in Dallas and owned a nice store i...We used to live in Dallas and owned a nice store in Inwood Village and this was about 25 years ago when there were a lot of those Boiler Room stock market callers and I was a target as a small business owner. They would call and ask for me by name and when I got on the phone they were my best buddy in the whole damn world and they had the best deal in the world and was an exclusive, limited, special, never lose stock and this was my one chance to get in on the deal. When we were slow in the store I would start asking questions about the deal, how sure was the caller and if it was a really good deal I wanted to know more but first I had to know if there was anyway I could lose money and how confident was the caller about this fantastic offer because I did need to invest some money. I would then listen to about three minutes of the special offer of the day and then I would ask the caller if he would like a suggestion from me and of course the answer would be positive and my reply was always this, "I am going to let you take this deal this time since it is limited and you Mr. Caller need to borrow as much money as you can from friends and relatives and jump on the deal at once so you can make some money and enable yourself to get a better job than the miserable job you have right now so this is your lucky day." These guys were timed on each call and when possible I would try to take up about ten minutes listening and then getting to my point and the reply was usually a ton of cussing me out and hanging up. One caller spent three days calling me and hanging up every time I answered the phone and I laughed and laughed and it really made me feel good. So, there's that way to treat those who try to prey upon you.OldTexannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7492406791849373430.post-58579036565895615562022-07-05T11:58:50.451-05:002022-07-05T11:58:50.451-05:00Stilt,
If you sent Southern Methodist University ...Stilt,<br /><br />If you sent Southern Methodist University a copy of her letter, I wonder how (or if) they would respond?<br /><br />Jim and Julie SeattleJim and Julienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7492406791849373430.post-34409957325657551182022-07-01T19:40:47.588-05:002022-07-01T19:40:47.588-05:00
Shortly after moving to this house, I started get...<br />Shortly after moving to this house, I started getting mail addressed to my mother from one of the big lawn care outfits. I live in Colorado, my mother lived in Ohio. I even got solicitations for her--again, here in Colorado--after she died and was buried--in Ohio. JustaJeepGuynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7492406791849373430.post-43072769408785344692022-07-01T19:15:43.395-05:002022-07-01T19:15:43.395-05:00Great response! The arctic callousness of those we...Great response! The arctic callousness of those we must deal with one a beloved dies are only countered by the wonderful, good, and generous people we also find at such a time. I call them angels. Somehow when I would be at my lowest or at a breaking point, some truly nice person entered my life to make me believe in the goodness of people again. May angels find their way to you to lighten your journey and ease your pain. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7492406791849373430.post-51294172480087091122022-07-01T18:47:05.273-05:002022-07-01T18:47:05.273-05:00@John the Econ- I'm pretty sure that Kamala th...<b>@John the Econ- I'm pretty sure that Kamala thinks the "border crisis" is that people aren't coming across it fast enough.<br /><br />@Fred Ciampi- I made a point of <i>not</i> sharing contact information for Jennifer because I thought a number of you good folks might want to opine. And although she has it coming, it could too easily turn into a hassle that I don't need right now. On the other hand, if she writes me back with attitude, it's <i>on</i>. (grin)<br /><br />@PROCON- That's probably her side-gig.<br /><br />@Prarie Lion- I had originally flirted with longer and more colorful invective, but I decided to take a "less is more" approach. And sharing it with you folks is what made the experience satisfying.<br /><br />@Petercat- Holy sh*t! Yeah, "meeting in person" is the way to go in that situation but make sure you have a shovel in the back of your car. That's awful. I'm sorry for your loss and sorry the world has a**holes in it.<br /><br />@Fish Out of Water- I <i>personally</i> want to find the person who did that to Petercat and beat his ass.<br /><br />@mamafrog- Well, a Nigerian prince <i>would</i> have $957 to loan out...</b>Stilton Jarlsberghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14503164551782304564noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7492406791849373430.post-10860128502242269862022-07-01T16:26:54.534-05:002022-07-01T16:26:54.534-05:00@Petercat, was he a Nigerian prince?@Petercat, was he a Nigerian prince?mamafroghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13215031912797290210noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7492406791849373430.post-88845681338778432492022-07-01T15:49:56.276-05:002022-07-01T15:49:56.276-05:00@ Petercat: Wow! that is about as low as it gets...@ Petercat: Wow! that is about as low as it gets. Fish Out of Waterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04729449106447506298noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7492406791849373430.post-68475968991013129462022-07-01T15:26:17.456-05:002022-07-01T15:26:17.456-05:00Well, at least you didn't get the letter I did...Well, at least you didn't get the letter I did after my wife died. It informed me that the sender worked with her, and had made a personal loan to her of $957.00, and he expected me to pay that loan off. I asked him to meet me and discuss it in person. Never heard from him again.Petercathttp://thegentlewolf.net/comic/tgw-960/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7492406791849373430.post-403803201451717042022-07-01T14:24:09.380-05:002022-07-01T14:24:09.380-05:00My oh my, what has the world come to? Great letter...My oh my, what has the world come to? Great letter, I am impressed by how much restraint you showed. Thanks for sharing.Prarie Lionhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05282078462859432515noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7492406791849373430.post-56464250638463460332022-07-01T14:07:24.990-05:002022-07-01T14:07:24.990-05:00Well, if not your house, can I speak to you about ...Well, if not your house, can I speak to you about your car's extended warranty? (*wink-wink*)PROCONhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08753272472556120082noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7492406791849373430.post-20456566244133057392022-07-01T13:47:50.416-05:002022-07-01T13:47:50.416-05:00Could you please post Jennifer's address? Plea...Could you please post Jennifer's address? Please? Pretty Please? I'll be nice with my comment. I promise. 🤞. I'll bet that approximately 87,922 (approximately) of us loyal readers will write to her expressing our joy and understanding at her thoughtfulness towards your situation. And her email address would be helpful as well. Phone number??? Fred Ciampihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15088811777685044911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7492406791849373430.post-18860950793041855592022-07-01T12:45:12.504-05:002022-07-01T12:45:12.504-05:00Nothing like being demoted from "devoted spou...Nothing like being demoted from "devoted spouse" to "personal Representative for the property". Yeah, definite misfire.<br /><br />What? Kamala hasn't fixed the border crisis yet?<br /><br />They should finish the fence and then every 50 feet post a sign that says <i>"You don't want to come here. It's an awful place. Abortion on demand up until the time of birth is not available. Please return to the socialist promised land that you are fleeing from and be happier".</i><br />John the Econnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7492406791849373430.post-83189622615404199462022-07-01T12:36:57.243-05:002022-07-01T12:36:57.243-05:00@Anonymous- I'm sorry for your loss and I feel...<b>@Anonymous- I'm sorry for your loss and I feel your pain when it comes to getting nowhere dealing with medical malfeasance. Great wrong was done to Kathy but when the hospital reviewed the case, they decided (surprise!) that there was no hint of wrongdoing whatsoever. Sadly, there's almost no way to fight a bureaucracy.<br /><br />@John25mm- I am actually quite the gentle soul. But what a**holes need to understand is that it's risky to piss off the quiet people. There's no transition time between "all the politeness I can muster" and "I will leave your rotting corpse in a shallow grave."<br /><br />@mamafrog- I like the way you think!<br /><br />@pkreot- I knew the post office had fallen behind in deliveries, but 122 years? Yikes!<br /><br />@Dan- The "Hell on Hold" recording was done as a proof of concept with the thought of making it a commercial product. As a product, it would have more believably boring "hold" music and probably have 30 seconds to a minute between "we care about your call" messages. <br /><br />Regarding your message to Jake from Bangalore, I wonder if Joe Biden purchased a $1 billion auto warranty?</b>Stilton Jarlsberghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14503164551782304564noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7492406791849373430.post-19419632118565690522022-07-01T12:31:40.586-05:002022-07-01T12:31:40.586-05:00Hell on Hold -- I just might use that one.
Back b...Hell on Hold -- I just might use that one.<br /><br />Back before I retired, if on the phone and needed to put someone on hold, my "hold" music would me whistling the Jeopardy wait tune.<br /><br />And regarding pain-in-the-butt calls, I once told Jake from Bangalore the person they wanted had moved, but I had their new address: 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC.Danhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13668828493801753456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7492406791849373430.post-64443135525196196052022-07-01T11:32:40.007-05:002022-07-01T11:32:40.007-05:00I got a snail mail similar to that yesterday for t...I got a snail mail similar to that yesterday for the acreage that my grandfather homesteaded in the year 1900. I hope to pass it on to my grandsons. pkerothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00127397953188340327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7492406791849373430.post-91014443699581543212022-07-01T11:15:05.321-05:002022-07-01T11:15:05.321-05:00You know Stilt, you should keep a variety of relig...You know Stilt, you should keep a variety of religious tracts around for people like this, especially those horrible hell and damnation ones. Then you can give the turds those things and start acting like a religious nut. Might scare them away. Or the crazy conspiracy theorist, offer them a tinfoil hat you keep for those who dare to annoy you and roll out all the whacko theories you can think of. Might be good for a few minutes of entertainment.mamafroghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13215031912797290210noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7492406791849373430.post-79636465659769038592022-07-01T10:49:25.400-05:002022-07-01T10:49:25.400-05:00@Stilton: ROFLMAO at "Hell On Hold".
...@Stilton: ROFLMAO at "Hell On Hold". <br /><br />@John25mm: I'm partial to "Go unto thyself and be fruitful" or simply "Go know thyself". M. Mitchell Marmelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03713408277487830595noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7492406791849373430.post-86800504156135756352022-07-01T10:11:53.770-05:002022-07-01T10:11:53.770-05:00@Art- The mature thing to do would have been to si...<b>@Art- The mature thing to do would have been to simply throw her letter away. Fortunately, I'm not mature, I'm just old.<br /><br />@Wayne in Indiana- You ask "destroying America will give us what?" The answer, of course, is that it will give <i>us</i> only misery, but it will give <i>them</i> power.<br /><br />@jhsilcox- My therapist says it's important for me to engage with people. Realtors are people, right...?<br /><br />@Fish Out of Water- I live in a particularly hot housing market so am used to getting solicitations by mail almost every day. But this person didn't just write to everyone in my zip code; she made it personal. I'd support a "hands off the records" law when it comes to commercial use. And you're right that Biden is <i>bathing</i> in blood. You hardly ever hear about him giving terrorists $84 billion in state of the art weaponry. Imagine if Trump had done the same.<br /><br />@Elbarto- I pride myself on my f***ing eloquence (grin).<br /><br />@Garet- I think about Heinlein's "crazy years" regularly. Are we far from the days where people of any means at all will routinely hire bodyguards simply to move about in an urban area? I think not.<br /><br />@TrickyRicky- Cormac McCarthy is deadly good at putting words together.<br /><br />@Anonymous- I'm very sorry about your loss. And also sorry I didn't use your "auto warranty" idea.<br /><br />@Mikeferguson52- For phone solicitors, I recommend you feign interest in their product and then ask them to "hold for a minute" while you get your wallet. Then play them (endlessly) the "Hell on Hold" music I created and posted here some time ago. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3oMhyfmlFk)<br /><br />@Bruce Bleu- Sounds legal and ethical to me!<br /><br />@EOCostello- Around here, I'm guessing a jury would not only exonerate me, they'd insist on buying me drinks.<br /><br />@Terrapod- I won't bother with cease and desist orders or, for the most part, bother to engage with these a**holes. I have a limited amount of energy to get me through each day, and I can't squander it on idiots because I'm hopelessly outnumbered. But the <i>occasional</i> response is cathartic.<br /><br />@OldTexan- Vultures are at least doing a job for Nature, which puts them many rungs hire on Life's ladder than the hearse-chasers.<br /><br />@Anonymous- I posted the whole "news story" on Facebook. I recently caught a ban for using the word "fork" in a comment (really) because they said it could be used for violence. I wonder how <i>this</i> story will play with the censors?<br /><br />@Colby Muenster- I don't think my senility is the realtor's assumption, I think it's her <i>hope</i>. Bitch. And regarding Biden, I recently saw his note card telling him with excruciating detail what to do when he's in public. Sad and scary.<br /><br />@Shelly- I agree.</b>Stilton Jarlsberghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14503164551782304564noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7492406791849373430.post-44989559831328438582022-07-01T10:05:40.926-05:002022-07-01T10:05:40.926-05:00I lost my wife in 2005 partly due to some poor car...I lost my wife in 2005 partly due to some poor care at a local hospital. Couldn’t legally prove that but the fact remains. In less than a month, I got a letter from them suggesting I might want to take care of the expected 500.00 deductible now before insurance pays. Then a week later I got a survey asking what my opinion was concerning the care they gave the wife. That one was addressed to the wife!! Gee besides the fact that my wife died in your care the treatment was fine!! Kind of took my breath away!! What a world!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7492406791849373430.post-10859078603602053852022-07-01T09:40:01.108-05:002022-07-01T09:40:01.108-05:00@Mike aka Proof- You are a man of taste and style!...<b>@Mike aka Proof- You are a man of taste and style!<br /><br />@Hyzenthlay- It wasn't traumatic so much as just angering. <br /><br />@Jess- I don't know if you're an artist by trade, but you've certainly painted a lovely picture.<br /><br />@She's A Beauty- Right now, Life is an especially precious commodity in my eyes and it enrages me to see so many lives wasted because of human evil and ineptitude.<br /><br />@Radar1972- My mailman would never forgive me.<br /><br />@mamafrog- No need for a button as "liking" and "laughing" are assumed to be the default modes around here.<br /><br />@Anonymous- Nothing makes me happier than a married couple sharing a laugh!<br /><br />@Buck- Truth be told, it was kind of cathartic just to lay into someone and exercise some nice, healthy anger.<br /><br />@Anonymous- Didn't Benjamin Franklin say that in "Poor Richard's Almanac?"<br /><br />@Paul Donohue- Despite my joking, I've known good realtors and good lawyers. And thanks to you, I'm able to add another name to both lists. Regarding the Supreme Court, I have liberal friends (don't judge me) who are posting opinions from "experts" that the Supreme Court has gone rogue and it's time for impeachments and/or Molotov cocktails. Which obviously isn't what I'm seeing - I'm just enjoying rulings which are consistent with the Constitution. <br /><br />And I <i>am</i> taking care of the garden. Today is "watering day" in my town, and I can practically hear all of my parched plants saying "thank you, thank you, thank you!"<br /><br />@Anonymous- I can only hope that their own homes will soon be sold to strangers for TOP DOLLAR and for the same reason.<br /><br />@Julian- I didn't know that about Lucy and her daughter, though I've heard that's pretty common in tight housing markets. As for treating humans like living (and dying) cargo in trucks, it <i>is</i> the stuff of dystopian fiction. Of at least from back when dystopia <i>was</i> fiction.<br /><br />@M. Mitchell Marmel- Had the realtor actually knocked on my door, I'd probably be in jail for assault right now. Granted, it doesn't take much for an accusation of "assault." Kathy once tapped a woman gently on her shoulder in a movie theater to ask her to stop talking on the phone and the woman immediate started shouting about assault and calling the cops. A thought which helps comfort me when I think about the fact I'll never see a movie in a theater again.</b>Stilton Jarlsberghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14503164551782304564noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7492406791849373430.post-47904672611279834062022-07-01T09:21:24.794-05:002022-07-01T09:21:24.794-05:00@Wayne in Indiana, they don't care what the en...@Wayne in Indiana, they don't care what the endgame is, the worse the better for them, as long as they are in charge and can lord it over us. What's astonishing is people actually believe them and vote for them.Shellynoreply@blogger.com