Oh, The Arts and Humanities!

President Trump's budget calls for the complete elimination of taxpayer funding for NPR radio, PBS television, and the National Endowment for the Arts. All of which were things that Adolf Hitler also did just before firing up the big ovens.

Or at least, that's what the Left would have you believe. Personally, we're delighted with the budget cuts and think they're long overdue. According to the Neilsen ratings service, if PBS went off the air (unlikely, as only part of their budget comes from taxpayers), the average viewer would still have 188 channels to choose from. Likewise, there are plenty of free broadcast radio stations with which to replace NPR in the marketplace - not to mention tens of thousands of radio stations and podcasts available online.

As for the National Endowment for the Arts, we think it unlikely that art will stop being created or distributed by real artists just because the government checks dry up. But the faux artists, so loved by the Left, will stop getting huge paydays for dunking crucifixes in urine, and will instead go back to giving the police free samples of their whiz to test for drug use.

BONUS: THE WEARING OF THE GRIN

Happy Saint Patrick's Day! Although you wouldn't guess it from the Jarlsberg name, we actually have Irish blood thanks to a redheaded paternal grandfather who immigrated from County Cork. Once in America, he knocked up our grandmother (who apparently could have used a cork) out of wedlock, then scampered away like one of the elusive little people.

Leprechauns, that is. We're not mocking the short-statured nor implying in any way that they're a shifty and promiscuous lot, no matter what you're heard.

The joke, however, was on O'Grandpa - as it turned out that his bastard son became a talented and delightful man and great father. We'll be drinking a toast to his memory today, and hope you'll join us in raising a glass!

AND ONE MORE THING...

Today is a big day for Daughter Jarlsberg! She's moving to a new apartment which will be closer to her job.

She's excited, we're excited, and her dog Ladybug is excited! Still, the act of hauling all of your belongings across town, loading an apartment, and setting up a new life can be a bit harrowing. For that reason, we'll appreciate any and all positive thoughts directed toward Oklahoma today!

Open Megaphone Day

"Snowflakes should seek shelter in 5...4...3...2..."

Remember how we joked on Monday about how Daylight Savings Time messes with our mind? Well, we actually weren't joking at all and we're still in a walking coma. We look like Doc Brown from "Back to the Future" if he was appearing in one of those ads showing the longterm ravages of meth abuse.

That's why we're introducing an exciting new feature for everyone to enjoy on those occasions when, due to unavoidable circumstances (like our EEG flatlining), we can't meet our own rigorously high standards of journalistic excellence. Specifically, we're putting the burden on YOU to come up with interesting things to talk about in the comments section!

We'll start you with several random thoughts to show how the game is played:

• Regarding the GOP healthcare plan, we think that hitching posts should be installed outside of emergency rooms so that when people show up who have chosen not to carry insurance, the providers can decline to provide treatment "for you and the horse you rode in on."

• Kellyanne Conway, who frequently serves as interpreter when communicating President Trump's ill-expressed thoughts to those who are fervor-impaired, recently stated that kitchen appliances like microwaves "can turn into cameras" to spy on people. In the future, we suggest that Kellyanne leave such wacky pronouncements in the microwave a lot longer, because they're definitely coming out half-baked.

• MSNBC's Rachel Maddow obtained Donald Trump's taxes from 2005 and, after much huffing, puffing, and innuendo about "Russian oligarchs," anticlimactically revealed that he paid $35 million in federal taxes that year (an effective rate of 25% - higher than that MSNBC paid) and the IRS found no wrongdoing whatsoever with his returns. Meaning that the only newsworthy part of the story is who committed a felony by leaking a private tax return...and how soon can we see Trump make an example of that individual?

And now, let's hear from YOU! (Remember, to get to the comments section just click on the title of today's post, or click on the number of comments just below the post).

Spring Forward, Fall To Pieces

We'll apologize in advance if today's commentary lacks our usual snap, crackle, and pop, but we're suffering from a severe case of Daylight Saving Time-induced brain fog.

#BlackCoffeeMatters, but no amount of that precious, steaming, life-giving liquid is enough to repair the grievous damage inflicted on our internal biorhythms by a cruel and uncaring government.

Oh sure, some people (whom we might be married to) can laugh it off, but for many of us the struggle is real. Especially if different clocks in the house are showing pre-DST time, DST time, and (in the case of Mrs. J's bedroom alarm) DST time plus 20 minutes because she likes it that way and has never learned anything from old Frankenstein movies that show the disastrous folly of toying with Nature.

(We pause briefly for a sip from our fifth cup of coffee, and to strike a stunned, unmoving pose like a dopey version of Rodin's "The Thinker" while trying to remember where words come from, how to string them together, and...uh...what were we talking about?)

Research, which we're too damn tired to look up or link to, shows that there may well be no benefit from Daylight Saving Time whatsoever: not for farmers, not for school kids, not for energy savings, or anything else. That same research shows that after any Daylight Saving Time clock change, there are more heart attacks, more car crashes, and marked increases in stress and depression.

Even worse, there's a lot more drooling on desks, although researchers don't like to talk about it.

Recovering from this debilitating "time flu" generally takes us about two weeks. We were going to say "give or take an hour," only this is no laughing matter except to those who are, unforgivably, naturally perky.

On the plus side, where we're going the coffee will stay hot.