Witch Way Did They Go

No, that isn't Hillary - though she gets that a lot.

While most things in America seem to be improving under the Tump administration, these are desperately hard times for satirists. How in the world are we supposed to come up with stories more ridiculous than those actually being presented as news?

As an October-appropriate example, the laughingly liberal Huffington Post is reporting that dozens of witches will gather in New York City a few days from now to put a hex on Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh. The ceremony will include photos and effigies of Kavanaugh as well as graveyard dirt and coffin nails so everyone will know that the hex maniacs are taking this thing seriously.

The harpies see this as a "radical act of resistance," which they are doing entirely for the benefit of the "oppressed, downtrodden and marginalized." So it is merely coincidental that these politically woke witches have sold $10 tickets to as many as a thousand people to attend the ritual, even though their venue, "Catland," will only hold 60.

Not that the witches will keep all the money. They plan to give 25% of the take to an LGBTQ center for homeless youth, which probably isn't a bad thing, and another 25% to the cackling cauldron-stirrers at Planned Parenthood, a group which is more hellish than any coven could ever hope to be.