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| No, no - I've just been pining. Now put me down! |
The leading contenders were 1) Sniper, 2) Syphilis, 3) Beaten to death by debt collectors from Clan MacGregor, 4) asphyxiated at an all-you-can Chinese buffet or, 5) thrill-seeking with an amazingly cheap parachute from Temu that turned out to be a spray-painted school backpack.
But no, I'm not dead and have no interesting excuse why I haven't posted. Which I'll prove immediately following this timely holiday cartoon...
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| It's too early to know if this is funny or terrifying |
First, know that I want to be in touch with you more often and I'm trying to figure out how to do it (your ideas are welcome)! The problem is this: as many of you know, the loss of my wife Kathy was (and is) very hard on me both emotionally and mentally. There is something called "widow's fog" which essentially steals about 30% of your IQ. In my case, that's combined with a very low threshold for anything stress-inducing (seriously, my body starts jerking like I'm getting electric shocks).
So I can't invest myself in watching the (ahem) "news" to any extent because I don't react to lying, evil, and idiocy as calmly and stylishly as I used to. And as a bonus, the "news" has gone way past insane. How can any of this madness be made into parody?
So clearly I need a different (funny!) focus for this blog, but I'm not sure what it is. Personal memories (only entertaining ones, honest)? Stupid Amazon ads ripe for mocking? Movie or product reviews? Dirty limericks? Excerpts from my diary? Someone throw me a life-preserver here!
But for now, please know that neither Stilton's Place nor I is gone. Just regrouping at a frustratingly slow pace. And I'll try to be better about not disappearing for such long times.
But enough of all that. Enjoy your Labor Day while you can and I'll see you here soon! -Stilt
FROM THE VAULT
And what the heck - here's one from Johnny!
Hey, no worries about posting. I understand. After losing my own wife, I lost interest in a lot of things. And then after having to retire from work for health reasons, which was the only social contact life I had, life just became a one day at a time thing, and things that once seemed interesting or important, faded to gray. But we - I, and you, and so many others - do not give up what we still have, a gift of life, trying to carry on as our loved ones would want for us. So do carry on friend, post when you feel it, don't when you don't. We will be here, God willing, and you are always kept in our hearts. And I NEVER believe the rumors about you being gored to death for approaching the wrong walrus in the herd. Stay strong.
ReplyDeleteDitto! And...walruses?! I thought it was something about a Walmarts. Oh well, that's what happens when you play "telephone" down at the old rumor mill....
Delete@Stilt, all the lefties in the U.S. were very bummed out to find out Saturday that President Trump was still alive. They were probably also bummed to find that you're still alive too. Knowing they're so disappointed makes me quite happy! Glad to see you posting again!
ReplyDeleteEver since I retired I have come to really dislike weekends and 3-day "holiday" weekends are the worst. All those people who are only free on weekends can get annoying. Plus, I know I'm pretty annoying most of the time and I don't want to set the others off.
Indeed. I have a Threads account and all to the trump Related posting are downright vile to near seditious. As the saying goes, the greater the flak....
DeleteSome people call this "Labor Day". I call it "Can't Get My Ascites Drained Day". Also "Nobody Wants To Show Me How To Use My Home Drain Day". (sigh)
ReplyDeleteIt's a good thing I have a sense of humor, only thing keeping me semi-sane...
I considered starting a fund for bail money, but after careful thought, I realized you're way too smart to get caught. So, I kept a close eye on the news just in case.
ReplyDeleteYou may have just helped us with a diagnosis for an extended family situation; so thank you. AND Regarding personal memories, especially if writing them down before you forget: In Texas, it's not bragging if it's true.
ReplyDeleteDo you mind if I call you "Uncle Stilty" although I am a year or so older than you? That has been a long standing nickname used for the years of enjoyment you've given me and others -- my family & friends if no others. I am looking forward to more of your tales and cartons however & whenever you wish to share. God Bless You!
ReplyDeleteIf you don't get this message, just blame the reCAPTCHA and Google.
It's gotten real deep here, so I am treading water very calmly to avoid any sharks; the one thing I have realized, after all these years...as exemplified by the movie "Nobody's Fool"...the Police never think it's as funny as you do.
ReplyDeleteYes we do!! We just wait until we get back to the police station and tell everyone about the stooopid person we came across today. Now, that funny to us.
DeleteBobo
Having been there myself I can attest to your dilemma however keep your chin off the floor! We here on the other side of the looking glass miss your twisted mind!
ReplyDeleteAfter all these years you could just write limericks and we would all read them with glee! Good to hear you're still kicking.
ReplyDeleteI'll have to admit, I thought the blog was done and deleted (sorry) the tab to the weblink. As far as entertainment beyond politics, I stumbled across this website and if it doesn't provide you humor, it should provide you with a daily dose of OMG face palms : https://notalwaysright.com/
ReplyDelete@Fish: This one had me laughing helplessly: https://notalwaysright.com/grim-re-tailer/390156/
ReplyDeleteCurmudgeon, be ever mindful ! Remind yourself of how you n’ere minded if a mined field was betwix you and a wee dram of Cl. McGregor, but now how your mind minds whilst utter minds waist.
ReplyDelete“Tis mine”, McGregor’s dram reminds; midst those mind mines mined mindlessly !!
I’ll have me some McGregor’s understand what anonymous said.
DeleteGood Morning Sir! "Ams to the Poor" ; anyway, for your fog, try Methylene blue in your morning pleasure. Well to drink.. I put it in my coffee to get a MeNTal boost for the day. Due research and it can be found here: earthharmony.com enjoy!
ReplyDeleteTwo Johnny's in one day? Thanks Stilt!
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear from you. I was thinking about you recently.
ReplyDeleteNo offence, Stilt, but I hadn't really thought about it until I saw the email, and recalled that I haven't laughed out loud and spit coffee on the keyboard lately myself. I guess the good news is that in Trumps America, good news is old news that just keeps happening daily, even when it's bad news for somebody. And now this news. Been awhile since Santa Claus seemed plausible. Baby steps, amirite?
ReplyDeleteIf you seriously want suggestion I am thinking mocking ads and products, certain industries like health care maybe some causes, that need ridicule , peoples foibles especially Hollywood, sports etc whatever pops into you mind as your active mind peruse wherever and whatever. That sort of thing will be hopefully less tense, and might get the juices flowing again with regularity. You might work your way into the occasional always incisive political commentary. Oh and potty humor is always appropriate herein.
ReplyDeleteI vote for dirty limericks. 🤣 Glad to hear from you!
ReplyDeleteThere once was a girl from Nantucket.....
DeleteWho had to pee in a bucket.....
DeleteLife becomes more variable when you lose your best friend. Things do not mean the same anymore. It takes a while to find a new rhythm and sometimes you do not find one at all. Been there and got a lousy t shirt. I check your page daily....mostly because I know eventually you will put something up that will be interesting. Keep plugging away at life. Don't be afraid to try new things. Kathy would not want you to stop being who you are because she is gone.
ReplyDeleteWell said. I'll try to keep your words in mind should I lose my best friend before I depart.
DeleteGlad you’re back!!
ReplyDeleteStilton, I always know that you are still thrashing about since I always follow Johnny (pro tip to all Stilton fans).
ReplyDeleteAs for your posting here, I think that your ideas about diversifying away from politics is a sound idea. Your forays into AI songs, and video (Johnny and Lance in the Tetons) and your reviews of whack consumer items are all great.
As the Gutfeld show says about Trump, we don't deserve him and I would add that we who frequent this blog don't deserve you.
Stilt, I am glad to see a post from you! Anything you post is worth the time reading it.
ReplyDeleteSorry to know about your continued sorrow and grief after losing your wife. Grief means you loved, and lost that love. That is something to relish, to cherish, even in spite of how bad it feels now.
ReplyDeleteFrom the standpoint of the physical and mental symptoms you describe, have you looked into taking creatine? There is a burgeoning amount of info about the neurocognitive benefits of taking it in larger doses (20gms/day). Lots of YouTube videos describing this benefit.
Another thing you might consider is taking magnesium on a daily basis. It can decrease the twitchiness you mentioned. And depending on the blend of Mg you take, it can help you sleep and also calm your mind.
Lastly, never underestimate how important it is to get out in the sun, boost your VitD levels, exercise, and share your story and concerns w close friends and family. They’re a great support resource for helping you get back on track. Best wishes to you!!!
HI Stilton! Yes, definitely wondered what you were doing and very well aware of widow fog! 8 years, 4 months, and 1 LABOR DAY holiday alone again. DAMN! IT sucks and you're always in my prayers!
ReplyDeleteOh dearest Stilton, so happy to see your email pop up today. Just to know you are still among us is good news. I'm sure now that all the little kings are headed back to Washington DC to wreak their havoc, you will somehow find some good material to use comedically.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely not forgotten, I come by a couple of times a week to check up on anything I might have missed. However something I want to state here. I think Lefty Lucy is a very beautiful young woman, I suspect she is actually not a lefty but related to you.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I was hoping that you would rouse. The world needs more of the Cheeseman.
ReplyDeleteGlad to see you here again, Stilt; still, I knew you were out and about via Johnny Optimism. As for your suggestions, I'm always up for stupid Amazon offerings, although one can see much the same thing over on Temu. Word of advice: Temu is for cheap entertainment, not for actually ordering anything...
ReplyDeleteGlad to see you’re back. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteI like limericks, if that helps at all. I've enjoyed your acerbic wit for years. I should have commented more often, but couldn't think of much to say. That's not a problem now, but as I watch the news, I find myself running out of cursewords. Even comboes of common curses are losing their zing.
ReplyDeleteDon't have anything clever to say Stilt, but am glad to hear that you're still kicking.
ReplyDeleteWe were holding our breath for another posting! A truly happy Labor day!
ReplyDeleteWelcome back! Good to “see” you again!
ReplyDeleteYes, good to see you again. I must admit that being in and out of the hospital (where I am now) with another COPD flare-up I haven't paid much attention to the news either. Please post more often as I need something funny from the nether world.
ReplyDeleteGlad you're still around, my fiend - er friend. I figured you were still with us because Johnny shows up all the time. Meanwhile, easy does it.
ReplyDeleteNever forgotten, Stilt! No matter how bad a day I'm having, you make me laugh. You are either outrageously inappropriate or extremely witty, even on your worse day. So glad to see something from you today. As for subject matter, maybe we could send you clips of good news? Whatever you focus on, I am sure I will enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteBack on the grid again after 2 weeks. I should try 2 months.
ReplyDeleteDo what you can Mr. Jarlsberg. We will enjoy what we can get.
ReplyDeleteHey, I hear you, brother. You are under no obligation to post, though of course we all wish you would post often. Please take care of yourself as well as possible, for your sake and ours.
ReplyDeleteWell, damn, damn, damn, and some other naughty words I won't repeat because we do have some standards here, right? I saw this the day you posted and promptly forgot about it.
ReplyDeleteWidows fog is a very real thing, sadly. I don't remember a lot of the year after hubs died. Though I can also blame the pandemic and taking care of my mom for some of that. It all seemed to hit within a space of time there that ran together, plus a couple of surgeries that were totally unexpected. Who knew hernias could be so much fun? And killing two cars, Oi Vey!! (Lesson learned, don't drive through deep puddles when your air intake is low on the front of the car. And research the next car you get because Ford is bad about putting little engines in them with a super charger and it ruins them.)
I think the only thing that got me through that insanity was my siblings and kids. The sibs because they kept me going while dealing with mom's dementia (they didn't want to deal with it either but okay) and the kids because they were what got me out of bed every day. Well, that and corralling my mother every morning and feeding a dozen or so feral cats. I have three noisy reminders of that who are driving me crazy every day.
I will admit to spending a lot of time on the youtubes now. I never cared for Jerry Springer much but there are some crazy people on youtube that keep me entertained most days. Plus I've actually learned a lot. Beats soap operas and chips while sitting on the couch, I guess?
You just keep on going, we are here waiting and I can keep you really annoyed with trivialties if necessary. I'm sure the rest of the group can contribute there, lol.
Good to see you around. As far as the "news" I agree. I am tiring of most all things online but I will check back to see what you come up with. I'm sure I will enjoy what you find interesting or funny or both.
ReplyDeleteTake care and remember to have a little fun every day,
jack
I remember widow's fog. It does lift. There is a sun out there somewhere. Meanwhile, any simple exercise for the body or mind probably helps. I don't remember doing all those Sunday Post crossword puzzles but remember that my crossword puzzle time improved during the first year. So, no pressure, but if you find it possible to write reviews and ad parodies AS limericks...a book of such things might sell, who knows?
ReplyDeleteThis am a surprise. I gave you up for goners sometime around August 1. Glad you are still amongst the land of the living. Dirty limericks are always welcome, though I've only been to Nantucket once, and never seen Calcutta.
ReplyDelete@Norseman:
ReplyDeleteThere once was a lady named Harrison
Who wished for romance with a Saracen
One time, on a liner,
She took up with a Shriner
But really, there is no comparacen.
Not dirty, really, but...
Good to see you didn't feature in the 'bring out your dead' skit,but since you still have your sense of humour and with your huge knowledge on the subject how about some gardening tips.
ReplyDeleteReally sorry you're still navigating things. I was thinking about your search for funny material, and something occurred to me – maybe digging into old magazines on the Internet Archive could be a good escape?
ReplyDeleteThings like "Popular Mechanics," "Everyday Science and Mechanics," and even "Physical Culture" from the '20s and '30s are filled with spectacularly failed inventions and ads promising the world. It’s the kind of delightfully absurd stuff I think would really play to your strengths – yet totally divorced from The Current Nonsense and ripe for your sardonic take. (Seriously, "Yawning your way to health - the natural exercise"?!).
Just a thought if you're looking for a safe, funny zone to play in.
Been there, done that....I just rode it out because I didn't want to lose what we had....memories bring the grief, but I wasn't about to let them go, nor should you. twenty two years have passed now, remarried, but still remembering. I never hesitate to bring up a story when around the kids and grandkids. I do so with respect for their mother/grandmother. As long as I live, so shall she.
ReplyDeleteBut it was a bitch gettin' here.
If you remember the song by G. Brooks...'The Dance', ask yourself if you had known, would you have changed it. My answer was NO! Which means of course that I (unknowingly) offered to endure this misery in exchange for the 37 years we had together. Guessing your answer would be the same. So buck up! share with your daughter, you'll make it, and I would love to hear your views on the grief and misery that loving another can inflict on us as woeful human beings. First with the anger, than without.
Best, FMR