The Sound of Muzak

One would be hard pressed to come up with a way to actually improve the classic "The Sound of Music" (other than by adding singing zombies, of course). Yet Lisa Mars, the principal of a famous New York City performing arts high school, came up with a real doozy of an idea: she ordered the removal of all Nazi emblems and props from the school's presentation about a family running for their very lives from actual Nazis.

This overly sanitized version of the story would be puzzling at best. Rather than have Captain Von Trapp rip a Nazi flag in half, he might simply clutch a handful of Edelweiss to his chest and let loose with a primal scream. The oldest daughter's male love interest couldn't turn up wearing a Nazi uniform, but might terrify audiences showing up in a MAGA hat. And the crucial scene in which the singing Von Trapps are forced to perform on a stage adorned with swastikas would certainly have to be changed - perhaps having the fearful family held at gunpoint while appearing on the Mike Huckabee Show.

According to one student who is marginally more sane than the school's principal, "This is a very liberal school, we're all against Nazis. But to take out the symbol is to try to erase history."

We'll forgive the student for assuming that it's only "very liberal" folks who are against Nazis, and blame it on the bilge she's being exposed to in her "very liberal" school.

Ironically, a portion of the proceeds from the show are supposed to be donated to Holocaust remembrance groups...although it's pretty damn hard to show appropriate "remembrance" for history that's being actively erased.

Fortunately, the principal has been partially overruled by the New York City Department of Education, and a few bits of Nazi regalia will be included in the presentation after suitable trigger warnings have been issued, and smelling salts and fainting couches have been made available to audience members.

The beloved musical asks the question "How do you solve a problem like Maria?" but we think a much more important question is "How do you solve a problem like Principal Mars?"