Who here wants to hear more about the coronavirus and political discord? Nobody, right?! Which is why I'm taking inspiration from the sainted Monty Pythons and going with "something completely different" today - another installment of "The Jarlsberg Diaries" in which I share some of the oddities of my life and career. And there have been plenty.
In this case, we're going back 20 years or so. At the time, I was involved in a number of showbiz type pursuits, songwriting being one of them. And so it was that my musical partner and I (okay, mostly him) were approached to submit spec songs for the movie "Muppets in Space." It would be a high-profile and presumably very profitable enterprise if they bought any or all of the songs we created.
For two of the demo songs, I sang the parts of all the different Muppets - probably a dozen characters. "It Takes Two to Tangle" was sung by Miss Piggy as she beat the stew out of some guy, and "It's a Party Just To Be With You" was the big blowout song for the finale. "Make it have the feeling and energy of the song 'Celebration'," the producers specified. And they knew what they wanted, because in the end they just licensed 'Celebration.'
All together, we wrote and recorded three songs to submit - none of which sold. Dammit. But in this period of involuntary retrospection, it seemed like a fun time to revisit one of them.
In the movie, a crazed alien-hunter working for the government is trying to catch Gonzo the muppet, believing him to be from Outer Space (spoiler alert: he is)...
For two of the demo songs, I sang the parts of all the different Muppets - probably a dozen characters. "It Takes Two to Tangle" was sung by Miss Piggy as she beat the stew out of some guy, and "It's a Party Just To Be With You" was the big blowout song for the finale. "Make it have the feeling and energy of the song 'Celebration'," the producers specified. And they knew what they wanted, because in the end they just licensed 'Celebration.'
All together, we wrote and recorded three songs to submit - none of which sold. Dammit. But in this period of involuntary retrospection, it seemed like a fun time to revisit one of them.
In the movie, a crazed alien-hunter working for the government is trying to catch Gonzo the muppet, believing him to be from Outer Space (spoiler alert: he is)...
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| Jeffrey Tambor's finest moment |
I wrote the lyrics and my grammy-winning partner wrote, arranged, and produced the music. And on this one, we used a real singer (several, actually) which is why it remains my favorite of the tracks to this day. And I hope you'll enjoy it, too!
The Democrats are treating the Covid-19 crisis as an answered prayer, cramming everything they've ever wanted into the necessary-to-pass emergency relief bill. Sadly, it's unlikely that some poor bastard fighting for breath in a hospital (or quite likely at home) will benefit much from taxpayer dollars going to boost solar and wind power, mandating new levels of "diversity" in boardrooms, or forcing new emissions standards on the already crippled flight industry.
And as long as they're holding America hostage, the Dems have also called for $300 million to go to the National Endowment for the Arts, another $300 million for (ahem) "migration assistance," and $35 million going to the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts. An institution where, ironically, they give you dirty looks for coughing during a performance.
All of which put us in mind of this cartoon from 2009. New crisis, same old Democrats...
I can't believe they wouldn't use your song for that movie (which I haven't seen). It's just what a dangerously obsessed space-alien-hunter would want to say to a space alien, I presume. Not being obsessed with hunting space aliens, I can't say for sure though.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure we'd all love to hear the other two songs with your Muppet voices on them, Stilt!
ReplyDeleteI had no idea you did songs and voices too. Too much.
ReplyDeleteLove it
I don't think chinavirus wuhan virus 24-7 is any worse than any other flu and we are being taken to the cleaners. Should you give a rip, check out the last two or three episodes of The Amazing Polly on You Tube
Much thanks
In case there is a question I'm are real fan of President Donald John Trump 2020
ReplyDelete'Tis a fun song for sure, Stilton!
ReplyDeleteFor my part, I'm designing imaginary rolling stock for shuffling munitions from the Frankford Arsenal to the Philadelphia Navy Base during WWII using tracks of the Market-Frankford Elevated Railway which were never constructed...
Much more amusing than current events, for certes.
I've also come up with a virus much scarier than COVID-19: The Brenda and Cobina virus. Turns your voice nasal and you keep asking people, "Numbah Puh-leez-ah?"
ReplyDeleteSo, all you brains on here, I have a question. Doesn't the president have line item veto for bills that get too much crammed in them?
ReplyDeleteI don't believe so. If memory serves the R's tried to get LIV passed during the Reagan or Clinton years and, sadly, failed.
Delete@Mamafrog: Alas, no.
ReplyDeletehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Line-item_veto#Federal_government
Intended to control "pork barrel spending", the Line Item Veto Act of 1996 was held to be unconstitutional by the U.S. Supreme Court in a 1998 ruling in Clinton v. City of New York. The court affirmed a lower court decision that the line-item veto was equivalent to the unilateral amendment or repeal of only parts of statutes and therefore violated the Presentment Clause of the United States Constitution.[4] Before the ruling, President Clinton applied the line-item veto to the federal budget 82 times.[5][6]
“ It's got a good beat and you can dance to it”. 100% of American Bandstand dancers polled* agreed that they should have used your track, Stilt!
ReplyDelete*From the Bureau of Pulling Fictional Numbers Out of Our Collective Asses which, oddly enough, is the same non-government agency frequently used by the Biden campaign
That tune was awesome Stilton. Your talents surely span multiple genres. For the majority of the music clip I was in the Muppet groove, then I started imagining the various outcomes envisioned by the singer applied to Pelosi rather than Gonzo and my smile broadened even more.
ReplyDeleteSomething about that song kept me thinking I knew it from somewhere - then the penny dropped! It's just like the Oogyboogy song from Nightmare Before Xmas. Did you use the same singer?
ReplyDelete@M. Mitchell Marmel Thank you! I knew I remembered hearing Clinton (among others) use it and couldn't figure out why others didn't. Between raising kids and trying to keep food on the table politics was the lesser of my interests for awhile.
ReplyDeleteBeen gratifying to see the magnitude of the blow-back the House Speaker has deservedly garnered for her latest antic. were it another politician, she'd probably would be voted out of office this November but....
ReplyDeleteToo bad they weren't making that movie today. If you had only thrown in a few verses about how Gonzo is adding much needed diversity to America and would become a solid Democrat voter, the song would have been a sure sell.
ReplyDeletePorkulus 2020: So they're going to spend $2-trillion dollars, and give "working Americans" a grand or so.
Do consider that $2-trillion divided by about 150-million "working Americans" is over $13,000 per worker. So for every grand "workers" get, over $12-grand is stimulating something other than you or me.
But it's not like people in Washington have ever been very good at math.
Pretty sure I dated gonzo sister for awhile .... I was heart broken when she left because she said I was too weird ..........
ReplyDeleteGreat minds think alike: there is another song "out there" titled "When I Get My Hands On You;" composers are Marcus Mumford, Taylor Goldsmith and some guy from Minnesota with the unlikely name of Bob Dylan. Completely different song, but still pretty good.
ReplyDeleteCool song, Stilt. Yours, I mean. Can you divulge who your musical collaborator was? Or give us a hint, at least?
The Muppet has Peyronie's disease of the nose
ReplyDeleteLove that song! Certainly their loss fro not using it.
ReplyDelete@JustaJeepGuy- Oh, I think we nailed the song. And initially, the feedback we got was very promising. But then people got hired and fired and it fell apart.
ReplyDelete@Pat Cummings- I'll probably post another song on Friday, just so folks can hear my "attempted muppets."
@Howard Johnson- My first professional writing was done for radio (and I also produced and voiced things). I love all things audio, and have been lucky to work with quite a few talented musicians in my life (including my talented twin brother). As far as the virus goes, I haven't seen what "The Amazing Polly" has had to say (and I'll look) but I'm pretty sure that this virus is considerably worse than regular flu in various aspects.
@M. Mitchell Marmel- Wow, that's an interesting project you've got there! I mowed the lawn today, but it didn't require much in the way of logistical planning...
@mamafrog- Nope, no line item veto. If Trump had that power, the Dems wouldn't even have bothered jamming their wishlist into this bill.
@M. Mitchell Marmel- Thanks for the specifics!
@Bobo the Hobo- Wow, it's an honor to receive such imaginary accolades!
@Jim Irre- Seems like time to revisit the LIV issue, doesn't it?
@TrickyRicky- Glad you liked the song and I like the mental imagery with which you've improved it!
@Duke of URL VFM#391- It's not the same singer, but his voice IS similar! Actually, my family recently watched the musical version of "Little Shop of Horrors" and the monster plant was sung by Levi Stubbs of The Four Tops. The sound reminded me of Oogyboogy so much, I went online to see if it was also Stubbs. Nope - it was Kenneth Page. And BOTH voices reminded me of the talented gentleman who sang our Muppet song...which is why it was knocking around in my head when I wanted to find something pleasant to post!
@mamafrog- I often have to remind myself that friends who are waaaaaay under-informed on politics (not you!) are probably busy leading actual lives.
@Fish Out of Water- Can you IMAGINE flipping the parties in this scenario? America in crisis, a spending bill rushed through, and a Republican Speaker of the House saying: "Hold on - we won't sign unless there's also money in there for the NRA, NASCAR, churches, and building the damn wall." So I'm pissed at Pelosi and trying to popularize the Twitter tag #CoughOnNancy.
@John the Econ- The level of spending that we're seeing in this situation scares the crud out of me. The government printing presses are going to be pushed to the breaking point to create "money" which really only sucks value out of existing savings - the "redistribution of wealth" that the Dems have always wanted. And is this the birth of the Universal Guaranteed Income? I sure would like to kick the snot out of the asshole in Wuhan who looked at a menu and said, "I'll try the bat soup. What's the worst that could happen?"
@REM1875- Although she did have a valid point...
@Colby, Jack- Those guys ripped us off!!! Well, maybe not - and with that lineup, I'm definitely going to seek out that song. As far as my collaborator goes, I'm waiting to hear from him to see if it's okay to mention his name. I can tell you that he's a wonderful and talented guy, that he's done a lot of high profile stuff, and is based in the Dallas area (like me). And, oh yeah, not long ago we wrote a symphony together! It's a fun and funny piece (with art and narration) that introduces kids to the orchestra experience, and it went over like gangbusters when it was performed by the Ft Worth Symphony Orchestra!
@Sergio- Well that took an ugly turn. (See what I did there?)
@jayjay- I'm sure they regret the choice to this day. (grin)
That was really good,and so Muppet-like! Can’t believe they didn’t take it.
ReplyDeleteDuke of URL - I thought the same thing!
ReplyDelete"REM1875- Although she did have a valid point..."
ReplyDeleteWell yeah ....... butt ....
Your having a great run Stilt! Keep it coming. Sounds like the song Trump is going to sing to Pelosi!
ReplyDeleteI really liked the video and song, Stilton! Great work, but damn shortsighted of the movie producers to pass it over.
ReplyDeleteI want everyone to know how freaking ECSTATIC I am today, knowing that we all get to pitch in 3 billion of our hard earned dollars to help the friggin' New York subway system! Whoo Hoo!! Oh, and how about $25 million for The Kennedy Center?! It's about time they fixed up that dump.
"The government printing presses are going to be pushed to the breaking point to create "money" which really only sucks value out of existing savings - the "redistribution of wealth" that the Dems have always wanted."
ReplyDeleteYes, it's the ongoing Progressive War on the Middle Class, or destroying the village to save it. (In their own image) And considering that (IMHO) we're probably not even half-way into this crisis, by the end of spring I have little doubt that they'll be proposing to spend another $2-trillion of money that doesn't exist. And what do you think will happen when this money hits the streets with comparatively few goods and services available to buy?
@John the Econ- We're nowhere near the half-way point in this crisis; "social distancing" can't end safely until we have "herd immunity" (80% of citizens have either had the virus or had a vaccination) and the virus can't find new victims. Right now, the exponential growth rate of the infection is a factor of 10 every 15 days. The CDC is currently showing 68,000 cases here in the Unites States. So April 10, that's 680,000 cases. April 25 we're looking at 6,800,000 cases. And just for fun, that would mean by May 9 we're at 68,000,000 cases just in the United States.
ReplyDeleteHopefully, miracles will happen between now and then. But absent that, I'm expecting us to plunge into hyper-inflation that will suddenly have savers with bank accounts full of Confederate money. I'm trying to plan accordingly, and not enjoying it.
This song is cool--and your voice is exactly as I'd imagined it! Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteRofllllllllling rofllllllllling roflllllllllling rofllllllllling Oh dear..........ahhhh me.....my mirthfulness is finally under control!!!! Thanx, Stilton! Would rather be laffin’ than trying to hack upa lung The GreatSusie
ReplyDelete