I really don’t want to write this update, but I owe it to all of you. Kathy’s bone marrow biopsy results came back and this fourth brutal round of chemo essentially did nothing. Well, nothing to the leukemia - it pretty much destroyed all of Kathy’s good blood products.
I could make a long narrative of this, but won’t. There is no longer a medical possibility of a cure for Kathy. All she could do is sign up for an unending cycle of chemo after chemo with no discernible point - so that’s not what we’re doing. Kathy will be moving to hospice where AML patients tend not to last very long.
Over the course of the day we’ve gotten the crushingly bad news from the doctor, met with a hospital caseworker, then met with a hospice representative, and more or less finalized a location where Kathy will be going soon. Maybe even Thursday, except the roads in Dallas will be covered with dangerous ice, and we’re not feeling wildly lucky when it comes to taking risks at the moment.
The hospice facility is said to be excellent, and we’re getting a so-called “semi-private room” which will actually be fully private, with me occupying the second bed. It will be close to home, so Daughter J and her Mom can finally be together for awhile.
And because Life just can’t get enough of kicking us in the balls, Kathy’s mouth is still full of sores that keep her from being able to talk more than a few words at a time. We have everything to talk about, very little time to do it...and mouth ulcers.
Kathy has made her peace with leaving. I am in no way at peace with losing her.
Prayers for our family will be greatly appreciated, as always. And thank you for being here for us.
-Stilton
We love you. Glen and Sioux.
ReplyDeleteWords fail me here.
ReplyDeleteI deeply hope the remaining time she has will peaceful and that your wife passes on gently.
I have followed your journey through the Daily Gouge, and am pained and so sorry to read this latest update. I pray you, Kathy, and your family will find the peace you deserve. Quay Richerson
ReplyDeleteSending virtual hugs and love. Praying for you during this most difficult time.
ReplyDeleteSo sad to hear. God bless you and yours, and prayers continue. There are tears in my eyes.
ReplyDeleteCherish the Memories!
ReplyDeleteI have no words ... may the Lord be with you all in these days and for all time
ReplyDeleteWe love the three of you very much.
ReplyDeleteIf I had to talk now...I couldn't. I am so sorry this is where it all came to...love from a stranger who cares so much...
ReplyDeleteGreg
Your love and strength are an inspiration. There is clearly not enough of these beautiful prose in our current life. Keep Moving!
ReplyDeleteSemper Fidelis, Buck
I've been reading these updates and lurking for quite some time but at a loss for words. There ARE no words for this...but at least you can rest in having finally been able to come to this decision. And remember Revelations 21 - "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” For Christians death is only temporary.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for this news. Thankful that your daughter will get to see her mother. Keep the love flowing to all three of you from all of us. Prayers for peace. Hugs for warmth and tears for your loss.
ReplyDeleteAs someone who also lost his spouse to cancer, I understand exactly how you feel. No matter how long you were together it is never enough. I lost my wife of 39 years to that terror and know that the loss is a hole in my heart that will never close. I pray her passing, whenever it comes, is a peaceful painless one, and I also pray that you are given the strength it takes to continue on, knowing she will always be in your heart and thoughts. Please take comfort in knowing you will one day be reunited.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to read this.
ReplyDeleteYou and Kathy have had a brutal journey that we all understand is inevitable. I know the mental and physical pain is crushing, but not soul-crushing. Have faith that you will meet again in heaven.
ReplyDeleteall my best.
ReplyDeleteYou've been a part of my life and I vicariously a part of yours. You and Kathy will be in my thoughts and prayers. Take care.
ReplyDeleteSir,
ReplyDeleteI have no words to express the heartfelt sorrow I feel for you both, so I shall not try to dignify these events with my foolishness. My wife & I learned the hard way that the best thing to say to someone in your position is, basically, nothing. You already know, as do we.
I fervently hope you will find a way to be strong for your dear wife, until you do not need to be. I hope you will then find a way to continue with your own path, since it seems to not yet be concluded. I suspect you still have things to do.
My very best to you both, and may God bless you and keep you in these darkest of hours.
Very Kindly yours.
Mike in Canada
This painfully brings me back to my mom's short time in hospice. She had her hospice in her home. I liked it better than a strange place. It is a difficult time. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. May God bless all of you and bathe you in His love & comfort.
ReplyDeleteI lift you and Kathy up. It hurts. You're not alone.
ReplyDeleteTom
Prayers for all of you....strength to get the most out of each and every day....
ReplyDeleteSometimes holding hands can 'say' much more than spoken words ever can....
Take joy in your time together...
Blessings to all....
Sad news. No words from us will provide the comfort you need. I pray the God of all comfort will be with you in this sorrowful time.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to read this. It brings back hard memories of Cancer taking the love of my life just over a year ago. So I know what you are going through, but just know that you have my virtual arm around your shoulder. You had done all you can do and you were her rock. Just tell her all you need to say and love her long time.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for you and yours. May God send special blessings.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had words ..... I don't.
ReplyDeleteMay Kathy find peace in this leg of her journey.
I'm so, so sorry.
OC
You have been, are, and will be in my prayers!
ReplyDeleteMike
God's choicest blessings to Kathy, you and your family. Peace be with you.
ReplyDeleteMy prayers for you all in this horrible time...
ReplyDeleteHaving just lost a brother, I've been following your journey with Kathy and your daughter and praying for a good outcome. I can say that my brother felt greatly at peace once he made the choice to go into hospice, and we had several good phone conversations including the day before he passed. Treasure each day with Kathy, and it is so good that your daughter can see her once again.
ReplyDeleteFor you, thanks again for your wonderful communication skills that have brought such joy and poignant humor to our political landscape. I pray for healing for you and the family at this time.
Oh, this aches! Our prayers will continue.
ReplyDeleteI know it's hard to believe, but even for those of us out here who only know you as the Jarlsbergs, we think of you quite literally as family. This was the news we'd been dreading.
And know that almost everything can be communicated by holding hands.
Father God, bless this courageous family with your unending love.
ReplyDeleteAmen.
Like so many others, I’ve been following along with your journey, praying and hoping against hope that you and Kathy would not reach this point. I’m sad for you, Kathy, and your daughter, and everything you have been through, with covid making things worse. I can’t improve upon Revelations 21, quoted above. Love and continued prayers.
ReplyDeleteI am glad that Kathy is at peace with this. She has had a long struggle and I can't imagine how tired she must be. I am now praying that you can find peace with this as well. I know that's a much taller order, because you are faced with both remaining strong for Kathy, and going on after the inevitable.
ReplyDeleteBut for her, you need to stay strong. That's what she really needs right now. She needs to know that it's okay for her to go. I know that it's not, but that's the support she needs now that we're on this track. In many ways, death is harder on the living than the dying.
I wish there was some other way to help you both beyond my prayers for you, but it's Kathy and your journey. Walk it together in love as long as you can. Say all there is to be said, and let there be no regrets.
Your words bring me sadness. May your journey ahead bring you and your entire family peace.
ReplyDeleteThis is such difficult news and Kathy and you have been such troopers in trying to get to the win. It is so difficult to hear such news and not be disenhearted.
ReplyDeleteI hope you can find some peace as this time passes towards what you both have fought so hard to put off.
Prayers for all of you for to have as much quality time as possible in the coming days and weeks.
You and, by extension, Kathy have given us a world of joy over the years. God Bless You all. Respectfully, vpg
ReplyDeletePrayers are with you and yours, brother.
ReplyDeleteMy heart and prayers go out to you. I have followed your amazing sense of humor and cartoons for many years, to where I feel like you are the fun cousin I never met in person. I am glad that Kathy has found a sense of peace. It has been such a struggle for the whole family. I pray that you and daughter J can, in time, find peace as well.
ReplyDeleteThe greater the love the greater of grief. My heart is breaking for you and Daughter J’s loss, Stilt. May God take your beloved gently.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for you and your family. May you find peace. Stan
ReplyDeleteTears in my eyes!
ReplyDeleteSo very sorry! You will all continue to be in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteDittos to everything others said, my friend. Be strong.
ReplyDeleteTrust God. My wife and I turn 82 this year and long term planning is about 6 months. We thank God every day for taking care of us for 81 years.
ReplyDeleteWe are so sorry to hear that - don't even know what to say. We'll keep up the prayers and hope that if God chooses to take her that she doesn't suffer long. Try to stay strong.
ReplyDeletePrayers that Kathy can have some comfort and for you and your daughter. My heart aches for all the pain Kathy, you and your daughter have endured. Many of us have been on the journey with you and were praying for a cure.
ReplyDeleteI am also so sorry to hear this news and my wife Barbara and I are both so sad about this. We have been fans for so long and now we feel like we are losing a member of our own family. May God grant you peace and strength to deal with this.
ReplyDeleteIn 2016, I had a Cardiac Arrest in my own office and I spent time on the other side. I felt the peace that passes all understanding. I was brought back after a long conversation with the real powers that be, and I can only say that death is the beginning and there is a wonderful life beyond this earthly life.
After this happened I became a better Healer and a better listener and a better husband to Barbara mainly because I no longer fear what is to come, but rather know it is peace and relief and an overwhelming sense of love
God and our prayers are with you both
You and Kathy have long been an inspiration to many, many people. I am just one of them. You are both STILL inspiring..
ReplyDeleteStilt,
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for you. Thinking of you.
Don
Damn.
ReplyDeleteDon't what else to say.
You, your incredible wife and your daughter are in my thoughts and prayers, asking for you to have peace and comfort these remaining days.
Danger Will Robinson
ReplyDeleteSJ, and Dear Kathy..
my Prayers are with y’all tonight, May God make Kathy comfortable.. Special prayers for you my friend SJ, your journey is not over, but only beginning.. Please have my best wishes for safe journeys .. God Speed
So sorry to hear this. Your family will be in our thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteI hate, hate, hate this for you. May your family know peace. For a decade or more I have appreciated your commentary on our strange times. I have sent scotch in the past, but now only have prayers to offer. Dammit. I, we, had hoped for a different route. Know that you and your family has a remarkably devoted and faithful group of friends far and near that cares for your family's well-being. Take care. Stay in touch.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear Stilton. God bless you all.
ReplyDeleteWords fail....May the grace and comfort of our LORD be with you all.
ReplyDeleteHang in guys. We have never actually met, but you are not alone.
ReplyDeleteMany of us have been in your shoes. For me, sending updates to family and friends and then lifting weights to exhaustion helped a lot.
Sometimes the "Circle of Life" isn't as much fun as a Disney movie, but it is still life.
Hang in.
Stilt, I am at a loss for words and the tears are flowing and the prayers and flowing as well. I pray that she goes in peace and pain free. May God Bless.
ReplyDeleteFred.
I worked in a medical specialty where we saw things like this happen, it is so hard to go through. I am so sorry for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteSending prayers your way! I have to suggest looking into Dr. Joel Wallach, his credentials, and his protocols for healing. They do work. I don't want to give false hope in the window of time but using his nutritional protocols is what I would do for myself or a loved one. Please look into him and Youngevity supplements. Here is a link to start https://www.nutriwarriors.org/leukemia
ReplyDeleteSending prayers! Michael (from Bloomington, IN by the way)
I feel like I know you, and because of that, I know you and your daughter will have the strength to make this time with Kathy as peaceful for her as possible. My prayers are with you through this most difficult time. God be with you.
ReplyDeleteLove, light and blessings to you all.
ReplyDeleteOuch! This was not what any of us wanted to hear but thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteAs a long time follower it is sad that the future is looking less than bright but we owe you and your family so much giving us joy, inspiration and hope no matter what transpired, we in return want you to know we love, pray and celebrate all that you have done to make life a little more tolerable for all of us and do take the time to celebrate Kathy and all she has contributed to you and through you us.
Please continue to keep us informed and we're so happy that your daughter is doing so well and will be able to support her mom and dad.
My heart goes out to you. I recently lost a cousin named Kathy to something similar. Praying for the two of you.
ReplyDeleteThere is a beautiful song about an ancient Egyptian woman passing on.
ReplyDeleteThe band is Ayreon and it is called Valley of the Queens, it is on You Tube.
Stilton, I am so, so sorry. Word are poor comfort at a time like this, but I will continue to pray that God grants peace and comfort to you, Kathy, your daughter, and all your loved ones.
ReplyDeletePlease stay strong, Brother.
We sang a beautiful hymn last Sunday that I had never heard before. I think I want it for my family when the time comes. 'Day by Day'
ReplyDeleteMay God comfort you and yours.
We love you guys and hate it for you. May Kathy find peace. Praying.
ReplyDelete(virtual hug) We're here for ya.
ReplyDeleteAnguishing and heart-wrenching -- and our hearts go out to you and your entire family.
ReplyDeleteBrother, there are no words. I am a widower now for nine years and if you ever need an ear, leave me a message and I will send you my phone number, anything I can offer you, is yours.
ReplyDeletejulianthree at g mail. Prayers continue always.
My heart hurts for you and your family. May God bless and keep your beloved wife in his arms and stay beside each of you during this time. My own wife slipped away from me from multiple myeloma that tore at her (and certainly at me) for nine long years. Only our shared faith in Jesus gave us a way to go through that time of trial and the days after she was gone, now 41 years ago when she was only 60.
ReplyDeleteI don't have the words, but I'll try. I have been reading your columns for years, and though we've never met... you are like an old friend. I feel your pain, and have gone through such. Nothing anyone says, or writes can make it feel better. Just know my friend that you have an army of people praying for you, all of which will be here when you need us.
ReplyDeleteBe strong, and God Bless.
SJ, Kathy and Daughter J,
ReplyDeleteWhat a difficult post to read, let alone have to write to all of us. Hope your family finds peace and glad Kathy will be able to see her family in this tough time. Continued prayers from Wisconsin.
We are devastated. We can't imagine what you are going through. We will keep you all in our prayers. Miracles still happen. God Bless all of you.
ReplyDeleteThis is devastating news. I am so sorry. Though we have never met, I feel like I know you and your family as if you were neighbors. I wish I knew what to say, something to help, but all I can do is sit here and let the tears roll down my face. My dear sister, my best friend, had a similar experience to Kathy's. It may sound strange, but we had some good times in hospice. I was with her there for 3 weeks and at times it was like a slumber party in spite of the pain. Most of the time I had the bed next to her; sometimes we slept together. She couldn't talk much either but she had me tell her stories of our childhood. I hope even in hospice you will have some sweet moments as a couple and as a family.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear this , my prayers are with your Wife and you and your family. God Bless all of you. 🙏
ReplyDeleteI lost my sainted wife 4 years ago. I understand. Please stay strong, lean on family and friends. They will help you handle it.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you both. You all.
Stilt, you have been so strong for her, and now must be a little stronger a little longer.
ReplyDeleteBut, Kathy is passing to a Greater Strength, and even Greater Love than yours. If you have another hundred years in this world, know that for her it will be but a trifle before she gets the call to greet you at the gate.
My deepest condolences, my own tears, my own faith, and my greatest joy anticipating the day of reunion.
God's Peace on you all.
TVAG
As you know, I recently trod the path you’re now on. Still praying for a miracle for you and Kathy, but you know how to reach me if you need a sympathetic ear.
ReplyDeleteYour whole family remains in my prayers. So sorry to hear this news.
ReplyDeleteWords fail. Our thoughts are with you and Kathy.
ReplyDeleteStilton, I've been following this from the start and I'm heartbroken to hear this news.
ReplyDeleteAt this point you can only give your Kathy all of your love and help her in her time of need.
I'll keep you in my prayers buddy.
Kevin.
The distance between us makes no difference. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. God bless.
ReplyDeleteI have been trying to comment over the last months, but alas I just must be too stupid to get this sent in. I have followed you for years. You have gotten us all through trying times and now it is our turn to return it to you and Kathy in spades. I am a gringa who has spent much time in Mexico. Please, please, please try and watch the movie 'Coco' together. Their view and experience of death will have you both laughing and crying together. Just remember, NOONE can take away all those wonderful memories you folks must have. We love you all and thank you so much. More prayers and may you all be blessed.
ReplyDeleteMy prayers and thoughts go out to you and your family including Kathy's close friends. Having gone through this several times I know how hard it can be.
ReplyDeleteMay peace be with you and Kathy and that you will be able to enjoy some quiet time together,
jack
I am so sorry for you...Leukemia is a terrible thing.
ReplyDeleteSo very, very, very sorry, You and Kathy and your whole family are in my thoughts and prayers. Tears in my eyes. Bless you.
ReplyDeletePraying/hoping for a miracle for your family, but if not then G-d's healing angels to help/see your family through this vale of tears. G-d bless you and yours.
ReplyDeleteMark
If love were enough, you would cure her and live forever. Alas. Vey sad.
ReplyDeletePrayers for smooth travels, a painless journey, and no words unsaid. Note the Oxford comma.
F Cancer.
I had hoped this would not be the outcome I would be reading. I prayed the journey would end on an uphill section of this roller coaster! I'm so sorry. Know that you've done everything you could. I pray that Kathy's passing is peaceful and calm. Hold her tight in the bed and give her strength. I continue to pray for your souls.
ReplyDeleteJohn
I hope that it brings some solace to know that thousands of people have been praying for you and now are grieving for you both.
ReplyDeleteDon
I've been following along on your sad journey and I am so sorry for this outcome. My family will be remembering your family in prayer in hopes that you will all be strengthened and comforted.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear this sad news, sending love and prayers for strength to get through this.
ReplyDeleteI'm not supposed to be talking about this around here (home) so going Anonymous & use no other forms of ID. I also know it's no consolation at all but it happens we have about the exact same thing but with different but rough form of cancer going on with a close extended family member; and all of us are at the exact same point as you. Together; it's very discouraging. After long battle; therapies are doing no good & in-fact keeping someone sick. There's nothing more to be done for cure. The first consultation about Hospice was TODAY (Wed); maybe we will learn more about what & how to best support soon. They're just going for better end times. This is hard to see & the patient is such a sweetheart. Has their act together though; and is well-prepared. It's sad. Hard for others to be so helpless against it too. Just help as can to Go in Grace I suppose. Too late for more elaborate bucket list stuff. Bless you all.
ReplyDeleteMay God grant you and Kathy His peace. You have brought such joy into my life (and that of my friends) that I can only imagine the joy you two have brought each other and those that know you personally.
ReplyDeleteI too am sorry to see this ending for Kathy and your battle with AML. The peace that Kathy will find in God's arms gives her a happy conclusion to her fight. The pain of her leaving is for you, your daughter and I am sure many friends that love Kathy and you as their own. Just as God will give Kathy rest and remove her suffering He will give you and yours peace and comfort. Kathy will go knowing that during her battle she had every ounce of love and attention you have within you. What could have been no one will ever know, what you and Kathy had will live on within you, and she will always be a part of, the good and happy part.
ReplyDeleteYou have my prayers during this time of trials, tribulations and farewells. May God bless you, your wife, your daughter, and all your loved ones.
ReplyDeletePsalm 23. Our pastor recently pointed out, we don’t get to walk *around* the valley, we must walk through it. But realistically we see that the last verse is what will be: through all these awful trials, Kathy will be experiencing goodness and mercy and be with Him who protects and comforts her.
ReplyDeleteTears are falling from my eyes, but I know in my heart Kathy is ready to go because the next step is a wonderful release from these earthly bonds and pain, to a better existence. And we will all see each other again on the other side. But still, the tears fall.
Prayers that your last days with your one true love here on earth are sweet with remembrance and your healing once she has passed.
Our family is praying for you. A transition with no regrets and reminders of good times. F#ckcancer indeed.
ReplyDeleteWords fail.
ReplyDeletePrayer helps.
I am so sorry.
CA
WRSA
My most sincere prayers for you both. "Stuff" like this just purely sucks.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear of the horrible turn of events in your lives. My story is much like yours and even though it's been ten years since my lovely Jackie passed away, my heart still aches. Hospice was wonderful to us and I can't say enough about how they cared for my wife when she said enough to the chemo. I hope, that like my wife, Kathy can got to Lord with peace and dignity. My heart is really breaking for you. We've never met, but after years of reading your column, I feel like we're friends. Your period of grief is going to be hard because of your love for Kathy, but know that I, and so many others will be pulling for you.
ReplyDeletePhil
Stilton, my heart breaks for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteThe only positive thing I can add is that the hospice people are truly angels on earth.
Not much comfort now but maybe later.
God bless Kathy. She's done everything she can and then some.
I am terribly sorry for your spouse and you. May God bless you both.
ReplyDeleteI've been in this same place. God bless, hold her hand and be the most comforting presence you can be. Tell her what's on your mind. Let her share with you. You're a brave man right now.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry. So sad. I have prayed for you. You have brought me much joy. Peace be with you.
ReplyDeleteJeffersonian
So sorry to hear the bad news.
ReplyDeletePrayers continue for all to hopefully move forward as well as possible.
.
NSF
God bless you and your family, Stilton. Your devotion and love for each other are inspirational. Thank you. You have taught us much as you have shared your journey.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear this. I pray that God showers you all with abundant grace.
Mr Jarlsberg, Prayers and strength go out to you and your lovely wife and family. It is a truly sad news, we were hopeful. Those of us at Bustednuckles offer you lasting prayers and hope
ReplyDeleteA good hospice nurse can be an angel in disguise. With experience, skill, and compassion, they can be more help than you will ever need. We hope that you can find their counsel to give you peace and comfort. Do take care for yourself too Stilt.
ReplyDeleteI have not posted, but please know that I have said prayers and shed tears. Time is both a gift and an evil thief. Thank you so much for sharing your talents with us. May G-d grant you all comfort, strength and peace.
ReplyDeleteNothing to be fair that really matters.
ReplyDeleteI've been lurking here for several years without saying anything.
ReplyDeleteI don't pray much, but today is one of those days. God give you and Kathy and your family strength.
@Readers (Family members one and all)- Bless you for your comments, your wisdom, your support, and for sharing your own experiences of pain and loss. Although the pain I'm feeling couldn't be more personal, I also realize that it's certainly not unique to me or my family. "Everybody Hurts," as the REM song goes.
ReplyDeleteYou have all helped keep us afloat, and I will continue to look here - with complete confidence - when I need another lift.
I'm hoping that the time Kathy spends in hospice will be peaceful and that we'll be able to make the most of it. I'll likely invite you into that room a time or two if only because I'll need a hand to hold (my other hand will be in Kathy's, of course).
My thoughts and emotions are chaotic right now (surprise!) and I can't say what the immediate future holds. Or the longterm future. Actually, my ability to predict the future just sucks in general. But that being said, please know that I still intend to be right here in one form or another. Many of you have said that I feel like family, which is humbling and an honor. I assure you I feel the same way right back at you.
And so we'll find other things to talk about besides cancer and politics. I won't even stop being sporadically funny, probably, because I'm hardwired that way. And boy, will I have a lot of new Johnny Optimism cartoons to write.
My heart aches so badly right now, and I know it will get worse. But you, each and every one, are helping us through this. I DO know you're out there and that you care, and I will begin my prayers tonight being thankful for this community.
And feel free to keep praying for a miracle. I know I will be.
I feel for you, my friend, for I have been there over 42 years ago. It didn't last as long as the ordeal you've been through and are not over with yet. Kathy was her name, too. Not a day goes by that I don't remember and relive the details of that day. When I got the news from the surgeon in the waiting room, I stood at the window for a long time. I can still see the window was dirty and the window frame was made of steel and getting rusty. God bless you and Kathy.
ReplyDeleteMy heart and prayers for comfort are with you and Kathy, and your family.
ReplyDeleteI have only been around your blog for a year or so but I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your work. I am very sorry to hear about Kathy and will continue to pray for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes from a devoted fan in Australia.
ReplyDeleteDammit. I'm so very sorry. We were praying this wouldn't be.....well, this. Now we will pray for peace for Kathy and strength for you. Please know you are always in our thoughts. God bless.
ReplyDeleteGod give you strength.
ReplyDeletePrayers up for you and yours.
ReplyDeleteHospice people are angels on earth. You all will be well taken care of.
There is no easy way here, so hold her hand tightly and just love her while she makes her way over to the other side. Praying for you both for strength and peace.
ReplyDeletePrayers for God’s comfort for you and your family at this sad time.
ReplyDeletePraying that peace will be there for all of you.
ReplyDeletePeace be with all of you at this difficult time.
ReplyDeleteOur experiences with hospice is that they are amazing and helpful people
Boat Guy
So sorry to hear this.
ReplyDeleteMay The Good Lord hold you both in the palm of his hand and comfort you.
Stilt, so sorry to here this as the final outcome. Praying for you and Kathy and Daughter J. Prayers that God will give you peace like only HE can. Been there with my wife and Dementia. Peace be with your wife.
ReplyDeleteStilton, words can't convey my sorrow. I lost my Soulmate to cancer July 2020 and only part of the edge is receding now. My heart goes out to you and your daughter. My biggest solace now is that God called her home so as not to have to deal with the coming turbulence. I will pray for you, Kathy and your family with all my heart. If I can be of help in any way, even though we have never met, please reach out to me at xringer22@sbcglobal.net. My name is Don and I do indeed feel your pain. God bless and comfort you through this, my fellow traveler and friend.
ReplyDeleteCatholic or not, check out the patron saint of cancer patients. He's helped our family and extended life for many years for both my mom and dad with several bouts of cancer:
ReplyDeletehttps://www.stjudeshrine.org/sj/st-peregrine-the-patron-saint-of-cancer/
Prayers for you both
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts and prayers are with you, especially now. Treasure the time that is left.
ReplyDeleteGod bless....
Love and tears and prayers for a miracle.
ReplyDeleteCC
Stilt, there are no words to ease what I know you are going thru. Having lost immediate family members in my life, I know what you're going thru. You and Kathy have been and will continue to be in my prayers
ReplyDeletePraying for you.
ReplyDeleteWeeping with you.
God Bless both you and Kathy. We will all be here for you Stilt, as you emerge on the other side of this horrific ordeal. Prayers for peace.
ReplyDeleteMay God give you and Kathy the strength to endure.
ReplyDeleteMay God's Grace be upon you, Stilt, and may He grant you strength. Kathy's sojourn is almost over, I wish her AND your family the best.
ReplyDeleteYou have ALL of us behind you to buoy you up. Take care, friend.
Well, poo. Please tell her she is loved by the readers here, and her and your travails and travels have made us smile, laugh, cry and shout to the heaven.
ReplyDeleteAnd...
Please take care of yourself. Been stuck in medical support hell myself and it's a horrid place. Know that we out here support you and send you lots of love and support.
“‘“The Lord bless you
ReplyDeleteand keep you;
25 the Lord make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you;
26 the Lord turn his face toward you
and give you peace.”’
My heart goes out to all of your family. As Kathy heads to a better place she will leave knowing how much you love her and that you were there for her throughout. I'm sure this doesn't console you, but Kathy will finally be at peace and in the hands of her Maker. I admire all of you for a fight well fought. May the peace of the Lord be upon all of you. I know that you will be there for Daughter J.
ReplyDeleteMy prayers will continue.
Our hearts are breaking for your family at this sad, sad, news. So many people have stood in prayer with your family as this has unfolded. We all will remain with you and keep your family forever in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteGod and His angels are with your Kathy, and your family, and you.
Stilt and Kathy, I am giving you both long-distance hugs right now; to Daughter J as well. So much of what I could try to express has already been expressed above by others,and much better than I could have put it.
ReplyDeleteAnd prayers for a miracle will not cease. There's a saying in Hebrew: Y'shuat HaShem k'heref 'ayin -- God's salvation can come in the blink of an eye.
The Stilton family has been a part of our life for so long; I can’t say for how many years. You have brought us joy, laughter, and wisdom for so long that we consider you as part of our family. If we could take the pain and sadness from you, we would in a heartbeat. Our prayers are with you.
ReplyDeleteKeith and Mary.
ReplyDeleteI tried three times to write something that would ease your pain. I won't try again as there is nothing I can say that will suffice. I pray that the Lord will take that job and give you and Kathy strength and peace during your remaining time together.
You have been so very strong throughout all of this. And I know how very difficult it is for you. I prayed to keep my loved one with me for longer. And then I realized that I was praying for the wrong thing. I began praying for her to have pain-free peace and to go "home" at her time. My prayers were answered - she was pain free - and passed in peaceful dignity. Kathy will stay with you forever.
ReplyDeleteDeepest sympathies and heartfelt prayers for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear the latest news. I have always enjoyed your take on life and followed along in this awful situation with Kathy. In my prayers......
ReplyDeleteGod be with you, Stilt, as you go with Kathy the last mile of the way. Call to Jesus, that he might lift you up and comfort you in your pain. Our bodies are temporary, but our souls live forever. Choose Christ, that it will be well with your soul.
ReplyDeletePraying for your strength, and shedding tears.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to read this. You have my deepest sympathies.
All of us here are praying for you
ReplyDeleteDear Stilton and Kathy.....
ReplyDeleteOur hearts are breaking as you travel this difficult journey. Prayers for the Holy Spirit to cover you both with peace and calm.
God bless you. Reach out to Jesus.
Wayne in Indiana
"Kathy has made her peace with leaving", what a healthy way of putting it. I was afraid of ever stating the obvious, who said it... Billy Squire... "nobody gets out alive"? My wife and I have been discussing it lately, since we are married over 53 years now, so our plans for the future have a bit less to do with Earth, and our legacy has more to do with what we leave behind, for kids and grandkids... a fond remembrance of our times together. Thanks for the solid memories you have given us and your progeny which happens when you have a powerful relationship that encourages you.
ReplyDeleteGod's blessings to you both. There are no words that will bring comfort at such a moment, even in prayer. The pain is too great. All I can say is, for your wife, this is the end of the beginning. Now she enters into the fullness of life with Christ. May God grant that you and yours join her there at the appointed time.
ReplyDeleteI am so deeply sorry. You have been such a friend.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for this news. I've been praying since the beginning and will continue to pray for you both. We love you both and pray for continued strength.
ReplyDeleteThose who truly love the Lord, never have to say goodbye.
Well, shoot. Been here, done that - with my dad - and while it seems overwhelming to you now, you come out the other side and realize it was easier than you thought it would be. Mind you, that doesn't make it easy - just easIER.
ReplyDeleteI strongly recommend you read:
https://thislifeilive.squarespace.com/blogposts
Stilt, our prayers are with you and your family. Jim and Nan
ReplyDeleteAt this time words have the weight of a dandelion blossom. While you both will pass through this darkness, she will emerge into the light eternal. May your time with her be soothing and rich; may her journey be easy and comfortable. Know that God's grace will surround you both.
ReplyDeletePeace to both of you
May God give you peace, and take away your sorrow.
ReplyDeleteLike others, I have no words because there are no words. What I find most remarkable is what it says about the human spirit, that we can all gather here as strangers to one another yet have tears in our eyes over this tragic news. Comfort and peace to your family.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry, Stilton.
ReplyDeleteSo, so sorry to hear this news. Your family has been through so much, and I wish there were something I could do to help. God Bless you all, and Peace be with you.
ReplyDeleteDammit.
ReplyDeleteMy prayers for your strength and acceptance and her peaceful journey to meet The Lord.
My experience, once in hospice, pallative options open up - please don't be afraid to help make her ride an easier one.
I am so very, very sorry. God Bless you and your family. You are always in my prayers.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI am so incredibly sorry to hear this.
What sorrowful news... My prayers are with all of you. I'm praying for God's peace and comfort for all of you. I'm amazed at your strength and fortitude, being able to share (and even included some humor) in this dark time of your lives. Blessings to you, Stilton, as well as your daughter and Kathy.
ReplyDeleteMy heart is breaking for you. Praying for all of you - for good conversations, loving times, and reliance on Providence.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, Stilt. May God comfort you all and give you peace, and when the time comes, may He welcome Kathy into His kingdom. I hope this doesn't sound flippant or pollyanna-ish, but remember the words of Jesus: "In this world you will have trouble, but take heart. I have overcome the world."
ReplyDeleteHealing will take place in heaven Stilt. My golden years are getting more and more tarnished as my friends, colleagues and family pass away.
ReplyDeletePeace and comfort.
So sad to hear. May you and your daughter find peace and comfort when the time comes knowing your beloved Kathy and your daughter's beloved mom will be with God.
ReplyDeleteStilton,
ReplyDeleteI haven't commented much on your updates here since so many others have duplicated my thoughts far more eloquently than I could.
My heart does break for you and your family. It's never easy losing a loved one, and there are never the right words to convey depth of empathy, and there is nothing anyone can say or do to make it all right.
All I can do is lift you all up in prayer, that others in your life support you and bring you a measure of comfort in this time.
May you have peace and make the most of the time that you have together.
Prayers of faith and strength for you and your little girl, as I can't imagine words to comfort. Prayers of peace and comfort for the Mrs.
ReplyDeleteStilt, this really sucks, big time, Kathy has fought the good fight against cancer and run the race so very hard to this point and now it is time to rest and the family can pour out love for Kathy and she goes on her journey. Kind of nice words for a time when words don't really work to describe feelings and you and your daughter's task of taking care of Kathy, our prayers are with you today as you all move on to 'palliative' care and now comfort and love for all. Lots of us have been there and it sucks.
ReplyDeleteMr J,
ReplyDeleteAnother commenter said it best - you have been given some time. Walk it together in love and say everything that needs to be said. God is with you - please reach out and take His hand.
rdb
Words are not adequate, our sincerest heartfelt thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about Kathy, Stilt.
ReplyDeleteA friend of ours had the same problem with mouth sores after chemo. She found a specialized mouthwash that helped. Ask your doc about it.
I wish you the best. Stay strong.
Very sorry Stilton.
ReplyDeleteStilton,
ReplyDeleteI have no words that are even close to adequate for this situation. My heart goes out to your family. My prayers continue for all of you. May you find peace my unmet friend.
Sending you love and light, enjoy what time.you have.
ReplyDeletesending strength and love. Be strong and be with her.
ReplyDeleteMay the Peace of Christ be with you and your loved ones.
ReplyDeleteMay Christ mercy and grace be upon your wife and all your family each and every day.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear Stilton, keep strong and many prayers for your family.
ReplyDeleteStilton,
ReplyDeleteYou all have been in my prayers constantly since I heard. I did not know enough to get on your site to keep up with the situation and I finally texted Becky Horner who sent me the link etc.
I LOVE YOU PEOPLE!
May God give you strength and peace and comfort.
I know where you are at, I lost my wife to breast cancer before she was 40. 17 years married, 22 together. Cherish the memories and, it's hard to believe, even cherish the circumstances. Given the choice, something slow that allows her time to prepare herself, and time for you and daughter to prepare mentally, is better than a sudden lose, IMHO. The 2 kids and I had 3 years with their mom knowing what the end would eventually be. I'm confident we are in a better place now, 3 years after, than we would be if some random night after work/school she was just unexpectedly gone.
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to you and daughter J.
ReplyDeleteStilton, I am so very sorry for the horrible long road you and your Kathy have been walking these past months. I continue to pray that our God and Father, through His Son, Jesus the Messiah, will continue to hold you on this horrendous journey.
ReplyDeleteBy way of encouragement, I used to work hospice. They will be able to make Kathy, you, and Daughter J comfortable. The good hospice nurses are excellent at pain management, and they will provide a mouthwash to alleviate the agony of those awful mouth sores.
They will also provide you with a social worker and chaplain. Please, use their services. I was a social worker, and it surprised me how unwilling people were to take the help offered to them. It is there for a reason.
Also, be sure to use their follow-up services to get you through the first year after the inevitable happens.
Much love, prayers, and hope for you.
I'm very sorry. May you all bear this burden as lightly as can be.
ReplyDeletePlease know you and your family are in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteMy heart is so heavy with this news. My brother (cancer) and my mother (COPD) were able to have hospice round the clock in their home. I wholeheartedly agree hospice nurses are the top of the line. They will definitely make this last journey easier if such a thing can be done. I am your neighbor (live in Plano too) and if you should ever need anything, I would personally love to help. Prayers are going up for your family to see you through this awful, terrible turn of events.
ReplyDeleteContinued prayers that Kathy's transition will be most peaceful, and that you and daughter J will be given courage and strength at this most difficult time.
ReplyDeletePhilippians 4:6-7...
ReplyDelete"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
Please, if you and your lovely bride have not yet accepted Jesus as your savior, do so now if you want to spend eternity in paradise together.
Also please do not think I am trying to be holier than thou. I honestly have a burden on my heart for you and your family. This is not a bad time to talk about the things of God; it is never a bad time to set things right with our Creator, and the rewards are limitless and beyond our comprehension!
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ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to read this awful news...
ReplyDeletePrayers for her and you.
ReplyDeleteWe are still praying. We are still loving the three of you. You folks are family.
ReplyDeleteLove, Glen and Sioux.
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ReplyDeleteSad news indeed.
ReplyDelete