Monday, October 10, 2022

Goodbye Columbus Day

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I had planned to wish everyone a Happy Columbus Day today, but then I remembered that only a privileged, genocidal, imperialistic a**hole would celebrate such a historical calamity. So instead, I'm wishing you a politically correct but not-so-happy Indigenous Peoples Day. You can buy greeting cards at any Hallmark display under the category "White Guilt."

On Indigenous Peoples Day, we celebrate those who lived on this land before we did and honor them by observing traditional native customs such as not delivering mail and snacking on holiday foods like free-range gluten-free pemmican. 

And this year, more than ever, it might be good for us to take some time to seriously consider the simple, basic, hand-to-mouth, back-to-Earth lifestyles of our North American progenitors. Because with Joe "I'm a member of the Puerto Rico tribe" Biden as point man in our current game of nuclear chicken with Russia, we might all be living at a subsistence level soon...

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47 comments:

  1. With Michelle Obama in the co-pilot seat, what could possibly go wrong?

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  2. I believe right now the majority of the nation would be happy with Hillary and Michelle at the controls instead of brain dead biden and his monkey VP.

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  3. First-class pun ol' boy, first-class.
    (What? Yes, there is such a thing)

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  4. Christopher Columbus is the only illegal alien that the Democrats don't love.

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  5. THANK YOU!!!!

    You almost made me forget (1) TEOTWAWKI (2) My nascent toothache.

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  6. Thanks Stilton......
    And yet another day with no mail ! Hope you’re doing well!
    Keep them coming! (God help America!)

    Wayne in Indiana

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  7. Yea, Busty and Lefty on the same strip! Seem though Lefty gets the last word in.

    Its Columbus Day here and will always be despite 'woke' "progressive" attempts to make it otherwise. Calling it by anything else reminds me of getting participation trophies.

    Just to mentally zig zag for a moment, came across an interesting quote the other day that speaks much towards the 'why' of the wave of 'woke' & "progressive insanity lapping at our feet. Its a quote from a book on rum-running in the Chesapeake Bay by Mr. Eric Mills. The quote is from H.L. Mencken, commenting on the end of Prohibition.

    "The Messianic delusion still rages. It is, indeed, the characteristic American disease. We must be prepared for the next onslaught, and meet it with an unyielding resistance, Nor must we forget our late oppressors."

    As the saying goes, history doesn't repeat itself, only people do, especially with the Messianically obsessed.

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  8. I celebrate neither today, as this is the one year my birthday falls on a Monday. Im celebrating my birthday by going to work.

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  9. Well, that does it. I'm writing to my Senator to have a holiday for liberals... "Disingenuous Day", (obvious reasons)!
    Magilla in the co-pilot seat. Mike aka GENIUS!
    JayDee, DITTO!
    Stilton, thanks for your continued elixir to keep us sane!

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  10. Proud to be "a privileged, genocidal, imperialistic a**hole"!

    HAPPY COLUMBUS DAY EVERYONE!!

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  11. Thanks for the post today. Good thing there was absolutely no slavery practiced in the Americas before Columbus' arrival/sarc.

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  12. Happy Columbus Day! I'm unfortunate enough to live on a 'rez'. Liberal utopia. Nuf said.

    It's great to hear from you Stilt!

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  13. Or, as a MAD parody put it, "Hoo-BOY, Columbus!" ;D

    Happy birthday, Anon! :)

    Me? Funeral for a co-worker chum and then clean the garage some more.

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  14. Happy Columbus Day fellow Deplorables!

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  15. Back when I was still a drinking man, I would spend the day toasting Columbus and all the
    eee-vile things he did. Now I don't even have that anymore.

    D*mn doctors!

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  16. Well in honor of Igneous People’s day I’m getting stoned……wait, what?…Indigenous?…...Oh, never mind.

    Good to see you posting, Stilt. Regards to all.

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  17. But, but, but today's my sainted Mother's 105th birthday. So what can I call it now? The way I used to remember it was that it was on Columbus' Day. Oh, woe is me....... Next thing the aborigines will want to change Christmas and New Year's Day. Sigh, where's my Clan McMoonshine?

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  18. Christopher Columbus: The only illegal immigrant the left ever hated.

    But I have the feeling that's not entirely true. I mean, the left has never been big fans of Cubans, you know, the people who come here with first hand experience of living the joys of collectivism. And it turns out that more and more immigrants that the left assumed that they'd own forever are not feeling the love either. Millions of people who came to America for the American dream aren't fans of the ideology that wishes to keep them as the serfs they felt like in the lands they fled.

    As for the new, improved Indigenous Peoples Day, Mrs. Econ & I just finished Stephen Ambrose's Undaunted Courage, the contemporary definitive piece on the Lewis & Clark exploration of the then largely unknown west of St. Louis. A large part of their mission was making contact with tribes that previously had little to no contact with white men.
    Progressives like to imagine "indigenous peoples" largely as they would like to imagine themselves in a dreamworld; happy hippies living a carefree existence on the plains in harmony with nature. The reality was anything but. At best, these were people struggling at a subsistence level frequently engaging in genocidal wars with each other to gain a competitive edge. Oh, and you ladies, you would have enjoyed it even less.

    Biden: His gaffes come at a too rapid to catalog anymore.

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  19. @John the Econ:"Progressives like to imagine"indigenous people " as..."

    We can thank Rousseau for that claptrap.

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  20. With Vlad the Destroyer and Slow Joe slugging it out with "I'll take your nukes and raise you" we could be seeing a LOT more climate change than hitherto.

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  21. Thank you Stilton for the post and this fine thread of deplorables.
    I'm still trying to find the Aristotelian Mean between drowning in doomsday porn and the blithe ignorance of normalcy bias. So I'm very much limiting my online time these days, and will now shut the online idiot box down and get outside to what passes for real life these days.

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  22. @Jay Dee,

    I must slightly disagree. They apparently also don't love the folks that were sent to Mahtha's Vinyahd.

    Columbus Day... I'm guessing that the creators of this "holiday" were just looking for a paid day off between Labor Day and Thanksgiving. Honoring Chris C. was likely the furthest thing from their collective minds. Folks, raise your hand if you ever got Columbus Day off, or indigenous people's day for that matter. Good for you if you did, but most folks worked that day like most other days.

    Indigenous People's Day... indigenous people certainly deserve to be honored, but to me, this is just another example of progs trying to erase history, or justify reparations for things that happened decades or even centuries before. I'd love to erase the Day that Joe 'Cognitive Mess" Biden got elected, but alas, it happened and is now part of history.

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  23. I don't know about anyone else, but I won't recognize Columbus Day until the 12th, when it's the REAL Columbus Day! Also, who are the people who are happy to not have to work today who will revile Richard Nixon but forget that all these 3-day weekends they enjoy came about because of him? Okay, all he did was sign a bill but he could have vetoed it and Columbus Day would still be October 12. I'd much rather have a Nixon presidency than a Gropey Joe disaster!

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  24. I just can't wrap my head around leftists' obsessions and why they feel the need to destroy time-honored traditions in our country. I would much rather they concentrate on getting us out of this mess they caused. But, being of a tribal nature, it is incumbent on them to elevate a new victim status to ensure a new voting bloc. This is why I despise them.

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  25. A toast of “firewater” to everyone” today.

    - Bobo

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  26. Try telling the NY Italian community that this weekend isn't Columbus Day Weekend. https://www.cbsnews.com/newyork/video/italian-american-pride-on-full-display-at-columbus-day-parade/

    I'm glad to see, Stilt, that you agree that our "indigenous people" did not use slaves, in spite of evidence to the contrary.

    Nor were they cannibals, all those stories about the Iroquois keeping prisoners alive and eating one body portion at a time were obviously folk lore of some sort. They "allegedly" would remove an arm, cauterize the wound and cook themselves a tasty treat. This was then repeated with the other arm, then the legs and finally the torso. A feast spread over several days while the entree was kept alive.

    In my neighborhood the USPS celebrates indigenous peoples' day once or twice a week when no mail truck ever makes it down our street. Our maybe it's MLK day or Juneteenth or some such.

    I wish you all a Happy Columbus Day.

    It's good to see that you've had a couple of cooler days there, Stilt. Maybe you can take Daughter J. out for lasagna, chicken piccata, or ravioli to celebrate. A lot better than pemmican.

    Colby Muenster - Going to school in the Northeast we were always off on Columbus Day.

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  27. Nope, I will not buy into the marxist transformation of erasing history to destroy our nation.
    It IS Columbus Day.
    And I refuse to feel guilty about something I had no control over and did not participate in.
    And just for the record, all those Native America tribes were not living together in peaceful bliss.
    They had wars with each other.
    And the winners either killed all the defeated enemies and/or made them slaves.
    Oh, my.
    So Columbus was just doing what the Native Americans had done before him.....
    So celebrating indigenous people is just celebrating murdering slave masters....
    Hmmmmm......

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  28. For 32 years after university I worked in complex, fast-paced private industry & our fewer holidays per year did not include Columbus Day. Decades later I started on a second career for state government; and my first date of report was 1 October. I took it as it was: Friendly reception & personal courtesy but was also surprised when not just one or two... but a LOT of people made sure I knew Columbus Day (coming up soon) was a Holiday. I might have missed that and made a long commute for no reason because NO-ONE would be there; & building locked up tight. I understood even better when I was later told "Anyone working extra time around here can make the rest of us look bad." My previous long-term-average "normal ~ 2400 hrs per year had just dropped to about 1875.

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  29. I've missed Lefty Lucy. Glad she's back.

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  30. Me living around The Swamp, a federal holiday means far, noticeably less traffic and pleasant driving.

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  31. Stilt, off topic question - have you seen the YouTube video, Send Us Thine Asteroid, O Lord

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  32. If you haven't, here it is! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkTgYiMDRHY ;D

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  33. Ever wonder if the libs have thought that they wouldn't even be here if old Chris hadn't landed?
    .
    NSF

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  34. Paul Donohue, Silly wabbit, the Iroquois might have been "animalpouchnibals" but they COULDN'T have been what YOU say, because they didn't have "cans" back then!
    Also, I still can't get over that America would choose to keep the USPS idle to celebrate Peter Falk's signature Lieutenant.

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  35. I concur with your last couple of sentences. Of course, we are already set for "It." My world includes being nervous when the chickens quit laying and checking the Solar Power three times each day.

    We live Out Here in The Great Quiet. The nearest city of any consequence is 90 minutes north. So we are not a Primary Target.

    Other than Jimmy Clyde's great buffalo breeding experiment which got starnge and violent quick (I might be the only guy in Alabama to have actually shot and eaten and American Bison--LOT of meat); other than that, you are about all the laughs we have here. (Well, there was LaTanya and the skunk . . .)

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  36. MMMarmel,
    Thanks for that inspiring hymn, and… YIKES!

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  37. White people from Europe were just refugees looking for a better life, bringing much needed diversity and inclusion to the continent. Don't be a bigot!

    Columbus Day is the one day of the year that Progressive decide that open borders and unlimited immigration is a bad thing.

    Speaking of immigration, New York City mayor Eric Adams isn't pleased that the declaration that NYC is a "sanctuary city" meant more than calorie-free virtue signalling.

    Texas Gov. Greg Abbott criticizes NYC Mayor Eric Adams for ticketing buses carrying migrants

    New York City Mayor Eric Adams declared a state of emergency over the influx of migrants from Texas, which will cost the city $1 billion

    You see with modern Progressivism, it's always assumed that someone else somewhere else will be made to endure the consequences of Progressive policy. They always assume that the virtue signal was the important part.

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  38. @Readers- Lovely hearing from so many folks above. And yes, I very much enjoyed the Asteroid Hymn. And dang, that guy has a beautiful voice!

    I made a fool of myself yesterday by wearing a frilly dress to the store under the mistaken belief that it was Androgynous Peoples Day. Fortunately, it would have been a hate crime if anyone had given me a hard time about it.

    Later, I celebrated Columbus Day properly by wandering around a lot and never finding India.

    And I don't know why I'm suddenly writing this like a bad stand-up act. Although on Monday I'll have to give 3 minutes of stand-up for my online comedy class, so maybe I'm just trying to practice the rhythms.

    I'm not really watching the news, although I have an older brother who helpfully keeps emailing me stories about the many times in the past that nuclear war was averted by a single conscientious person who defied orders or even just by dumb luck. But I'm still making a point of not fretting about things that are way out of my control. Which I increasingly realize is pretty much everything.

    What IS under my control is the fun and funny writing project I've mentioned and I'm glad to say it's going well. It's still my goal to have it finished and in your personal hands before Christmas. I've got the same intended timeline for the next collection of Johnny Optimism holiday-themed cartoons, "Home for the Horrid Days," but it might get pushed back depending on how much energy I can muster.

    Again, it's always great to see a circle of friends here!

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  39. October 10 -- Canada's Thanksgiving Day. Married to wife (30 years, marriage not age!), who hails from (French) Canada, we celebrated yesterday. Not much to celebrate about Canada today, of course. Same with US. But for Mr. Jalsberg, making light in this endless dark tunnel seems a difficult task indeed.

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  40. Now that was funny! "by not finding India"!
    Like celebrating Geraldo Rivera Day by finding an empty hole. :)

    And don't worry about your funny writing project, Chanukah does come on the 18th but ends the day after Christmas...so plenty of time to keep your word to everyone.

    Is daughter J. coming "Home for the Horrid Days"?
    That would be nice...
    Candy Up!

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  41. "Home for the Horrid Days" sounds like me in the 1950's trying to imitate a Japanese guy saying he was going to join his family of origin for Christmas.

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  42. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  43. Wow...that phrase is a double whammy...either semi-racist or a bad pun.
    Don't we just have fun in here? lol




    Stilton...that system of yours works! I asked someone to please prove they weren't a robot and they said "I'm tired of pretending...!", unattached their face, and tossed it in the trash.
    Boy, was I surprised!

    Now what?

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  44. Stilt-

    One last thought. The Texas State Fair run through next weekend. Might be an idea for you and/or Daughter J.

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  45. Need a laff? Here's funniest thing I've heard in a while from real life: I went by his place to talk and found a buddy & his helper outside setting up a BUNCH of stuff from the house & shop for a yard sale starting the next day. Among the large assortment of all kinds of stuff was some sporty-looking gear he said was Mixed Martial Arts protective equipment.

    (Should say here this is most friendly, low-key nice guy who'll ever meet; and neither of us are young any more.) I asked if he was really trained in MMA; 'cause if so I needed to quit smarting off to him. His matter-of-fact reply: " Yes; I could beat the crap out of you... IF you'll just stand there and let me do it".

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