I'm rounding out the week with the final (for now) installment of oddities from the Amazon Vine program, where invited people (like me) can get free items to review and can continue doing so as long as our reviews say something other than "what the hell was I thinking when I ordered this?"
Of course, I can share my honest reactions here with you!
ReplyDeleteThat's Amazon--catering to every customer they can scrape up...
"Gorillas on sleds" makes more sense than that first bumper sticker.
ReplyDeleteHOW much do they pay you to review that stuff?
Face it, those stickers would be a blast to secretly put on the back of any car with a Biden or a coexist bumper sticker. Worth every penny.
ReplyDeleteThe moss / fake weed would really be a great gag, you could buy the stuff, re=label it as a joke and sell it for a profit!! AS the old Honor House and Johnson Smith catalogs used to say, "Picture the look on your Friend's Faces!" when you hide this in their glove box then wait for the next time they are asked for their registration... or place it behind the computer screen on that aggravating coworker's desk as the boss is coming by...So many uses.
Have you considered the odds that when that fake weed when discovered it’s going to get smoked more times than not, and that when it is the placebo affect is going to get them high more often than you’d think?
Delete@JustaJeepGuy- Yep, there's apparently something for everyone. Frightening, isn't it?
ReplyDelete@Mike aka Proof- That sticker stopped me cold in my tracks. It's so far beyond being acceptable that I genuinely couldn't believe my eyes. And let me officially apologize to anyone offended, but I presented that as social commentary.
As far as pay goes, there is none - but at the end of the year Amazon sends a 1040-MISC form showing the total cash value of all the goods you received and you pay taxes on that amount just like it was cash. Unsurprisingly, I did NOT order those stickers - although if I did, I'd be secretly pairing them with "Biden 2024" stickers in parking lots...
Sticker: I used that graphic in reference to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urXy1G86Mio once. On Valentine's Day, no less... ;-D
ReplyDeleteMoss: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIEU6zie42k >:)
I 100% saw gorillas on sleds. And my brain immediately loaded up about 15 memes which I still can’t purge.
ReplyDeleteWow, from the sucking stickers to the flag vest in four moves. Talk about full spectrum.
ReplyDeleteAnd what does spectrum rhyme with? I think I'll just stop there.
To TrickyRicky:
ReplyDeleteIsn't rhyming fun?!!
Really, Amazon: It's amusing what constitutes "community standards" these days. I'd consider conducting an experiment by creating a sticker that says something like "Boys have a penis. Girls have a vagina" just to watch it get immediately cancelled. But I think we all can agree here how pointless that would be.
ReplyDeleteAffirmation pillow: If you are dating someone and you find this in their home, flee.
Solenoids: That's actually a good thing to have if you spend a lot of time off the grid. Pick up a few for me.
Vest: Makes it easy for the Obama/Biden FBI to add you to a watch list.
I miss my passed pets. Still don't need that.
Fake moss: Send that along with the solenoids.
Sharks: Feng Shui joke gets today's "laugh of the morning" award.
CR123A: I have some weird security sensors that use these, and they're usually kinda expensive. Please send them along with the solenoids & moss.
Oh joy of the season (almost), what a great selection of gifts (not).
ReplyDeleteSeriously most, if not all, of their "crap" is made in a certain country that has the lowest standards for labor. And working said labor to death and beyond. It's really pathetic how much our happy elite rich have to do with said country. Though I do hear there is trouble in paradise there with revolution possibly rearing it's head again.
ReplyDeleteI'm guilty of ordering several pieces of that in the form of clothes for my mom, some of which had to be sent back because they use "Asian sizing". At least one seller was kind enough to post that about sizes on their page.
Well, I guess a "thanks for sharing" is in order. The many bizarre and disturbing items available are a testament to the fall of civilization.
ReplyDeleteI don't even want to know the mechanics of sucking dicks with buttholes, but I do like Julian's idea of a great use for the stickers. Not to mention practical jokes on soon to be ex-friends.
ReplyDeleteHaving tinkered with cars for most of my life (by need, not by choice), I can't make myself not see solenoids. The Fords of old all had one of those mounted to the inner fender that ran the starter. Fords were uber easy to hotwire because of it.
@ Colby: Those were the days. I learned to drive in Dad's 1957 F-150 six cylinder with steering-column manual 3-speed. Dad (RIP) & I have had Ford trucks ever since. For a while there I thought of that AS the starter.
ReplyDeleteCorrection: F-100 back then. Need more coffee.
ReplyDeleteWow. Serves me right for opening this in between church services. Oh well, one more thing to ask absolution for.
ReplyDeleteI'm a regular Amazon user, but had no idea about the Vine program. After Googling it, your columns are even more hysterical!!! I thought these things couldn't possibly exist. I also wonder much MORE decadent the Chinese think we could possibly get as they're manufacturing all this stuff???? Surely XI is waiting for us to just destroy ourselves...oh, wait....that's already happening!
ReplyDelete@Anon: "WAH! I spent all my money on CATNIP!" - Fat Freddy
ReplyDeleteDuring college years, someone I knew knew someone who somehow got hold of bumper stickers:
ReplyDeleteTed Kennedy: 1
TMI: 0
(TMI = Three Mile Island for the yutes out there.) This was a lefty campus (think SDS, Tom Hayden, Bill Ayers, etc) and there were vehicles sporting these stickers unbeknownst to the owner. Obviously I was not involved in such activities.
@Oldman: The sentiment is still going strong...
ReplyDeletehttps://patriotpostshop.com/products/583-kennedys-car-sticker