When Life Gives You Pangolins...

Believe it or not, this really isn't just another crass use of the no-longer-copyrighted "Steamboat Willie" character. Because the story above is true and if that terrified rodent isn't the original humanized mouse, I'd like to know who is.

Having learned nothing from creating and releasing Covid into the world (other than that pandemics are awfully good for political tyrants and pharmaceutical companies), playful Chinese researchers have now modified a pangolin brain virus to make it completely deadly to humans, because such medical research is absolutely vital if you hate humans. 

So far (or at least as far as we know...) it's only been tested on "humanized mice" which have been scientifically altered to have human genes so they can be tortured without having the ability to file lawsuits. And the new virus has killed every last one of those little humanized cheese nibblers, presumably when their brains turn into an inflamed slurry and ooze out through their perfectly circular ears. Which is likely what would happen to 100% of infected humans if the virus escaped, so isn't it good that Chinese virus labs are so very, very secure except for their open windows, screen doors, and tendency to sell dead animal specimens to wet markets for soup stock?

There's pretty much no reason that researchers would want to create such a thing unless it could A) be used as an apocalyptic bioweapon, B) make a lot of money for companies coincidentally selling pangolin brain virus vaccines, or C) beat AI to the punch of killing us all, giving humans quite literally the last laugh. 

Which is why we should immediately be taking common sense safety measures including, but not limited to, calling together the world's leading gain-of-function researchers and, after careful deliberation, displaying their heads on pikes.

Until then, whether mice or men, we should all have the willies.

UPDATE

Here's the full story, but the first 60 seconds or so of the video tell you what you need to know.

UPDATE 2

Sorry, the video has been removed because its creator - who I truly, deeply trust - would otherwise have been thrown off Youtube.  Hopefully some of you saw it. And I'm kicking myself for not having downloaded it.