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I can't resist posting on the 1st of April, but it's pretty hard to come up with news stories that are more ludicrous than the ones we're routinely told are "real." Still, it's fun to try. Best wishes to all for a happy (and cautious) April Fool's Day!
Lightning bolt opportunity indeed!
ReplyDeleteFrankly, I prefer YOUR headlines...
ReplyDeleteThank God we don't get our sociable secureless payments on the first, that would just not be funny!! Especially since our happy little raise was taken over by medicare insurance payments. I've made sure to use the hell out of it the last couple of years, hernia operations (absolutely not fun), rabies shots (no, they don't hurt) because of a raccoon bite, getting my arm mauled by a cat and having to go to the ER to get it cleaned up. Moving in with my mom has just been a blast for medical issues, lol.
ReplyDeleteFrankly, if God is going to do some thunder bolt hurling it needs to be the ones who would take over if he was declared any more incompetent (or incontinent, take your pick), that terrifies me. The thought of Ms. Giggles taking over makes shudder...
ReplyDeleteI've been wishing for a lightning bolt (or falling space rock, I'm not real picky) every time I see Gropey Joe and Kamalatoe together since Nanski Peloski lost the Speaker's gavel.
Very droll.
ReplyDeleteTitle of Kamala Harris's autobiography. Oh, Stilton, you naughty boy! 😉
ReplyDeleteNice photo of Karine Jeanne Pierre....
ReplyDeleteSo Joe le Petomane has renamed Easter sunday. Wonder what is next? Set the Star Spangled Banner to please this disturbed sliver of our population?
ReplyDeleteTwo takeaways. One that Joe le Petomane truly has the intelligence of a diced cabbage and will do whatever his handlers tell him to do (like a Presidential pardon for Satan?)
The another: that he now realizes his chicken is fried this November and he's going to do whatever while he has the power (actually others have the power) to do so.
Nothing about Iowa making it into the Final Four
ReplyDeleteThe sad part, most of those 'headlines' are either completely plausible today or have already happened.
ReplyDeletepeta insisted the eggs be replaced with potatoes because somehow eating an egg hurts the chicken that was going to lay it anyway o.O
Cornpop is now cornpuss! Hahahahaha. Stilton, you sleigh me. Oops, wrong holiday.
ReplyDeleteWould have been an impressive hat trick!
ReplyDeletewonder if the Wayans bros will ever be cancelled retroactively....they were funny af but, then again, comedy hadn't quite 'transitioned' yet!
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ReplyDeleteRef the photo…
Hi! I’m Bill. Wanna wife swap?
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ReplyDeleteThat's what she said!
The Babylon Bee and The Onion are green with envy . . .
ReplyDeleteLove the Jill Biden headline! I tell people I'm as much a doctor as the president's wife, I just don't lord it over people ...
ReplyDeleteWell done, Dr. Jarlsberg! As John D. Egbert said, you could slide right in to a job at The Bee or Genesius Times if you were so inclined.
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