Who's Laughing Annoyingly Now?

Sadly, their new slogan "Two C**ts At Once!" didn't test well.

"Joe Biden" has officially stepped down, though we'd be very surprised indeed to learn that the real Joe Biden knows anything about it yet. In fact, if they surround him with ice cream and teleprompters, he'll probably continue to believe he's president for the next four years even if he's strapped to his bed at Happy Acres Senior Center.

"Joe" has endorsed Kamala Harris, as have other top democrats who won't mind seeing Trump forever erase her from the national stage. Mind you, that doesn't officially make her the candidate yet, but since she's the only one who can keep the Biden/Harris campaign money and, importantly,  is Black (Jamaican), Asian, and alleged owner of a vagina (Willie Brown can only verify that she has gums), it's impossible for the Dems to replace her without admitting that she's a twit, Joe's a vegetable, and who the hell was really running the country into the ground for the last four years?

Kamala's VP pick isn't yet known, but if it's Hunter Biden, millions of dollars of signs won't need to be reprinted. Still, I'm betting heavily in favor of Secret Service Director Kim Cheatle. Who, coincidentally, may be available to take on a new job as soon as today! She has a brilliant job history of making DEI hires, economizing on protection details, and is wildly popular among Democrats for being the woman who has come closest to taking Trump out of the race. The electoral race and the human race - take your pick.

Kamala Harris could pass some of her responsibilities to Cheatle very easily. For instance, Kamala has been in charge of securing our border and Cheatle has almost exactly the same ability (and same success record) in security. Bonus - rather than building expensive walls at the border, she can authorize a long line of gently sloped roofs to repel invaders. Kamala has also spent these last years being America's AI Security Czar, but I highly doubt that she or anyone else remembers that.

As of this writing, there is no update on what Jumbled Joe Biden himself plans to do when his term runs out - assuming he hasn't first destroyed the world by drooling on the nuclear "football" with the launch codes. There is some speculation that Biden will concentrate mostly on wandering aimlessly (Dr. Jill will be less inclined to call him back), sniffing children real or imagined, and assisting with the plans for the soon-to-be-built Biden Presidential Bribery Library. It may be a national embarrassment, but at least it's fun to say!

If I had a real work ethic, I'd be selling these

FROM THE VAULT

In Kamala's Venn diagram, what Slick Willy and Willie Brown have in common is a willy.