Wednesday, April 24, 2019

I Shrink to Forget

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We won't lie to you: today's cartoon and commentary aren't really clever insights and perspectives, but rather a laundry list (and a highly shortened one, at that) of the stuff that is driving us out of our ever-loving minds today.

And there's a wee bit of personal experience woven into this. For several months, we've been seeing a psychotherapist to help us develop better coping skills to reduce the levels of stress which may (or may not) be causing "Stilton's Palsy," our self-named affliction that interrupts both sleeping and waking life with occasional involuntary modern dance routines, complete with "spaz hands."

We're glad to say we've been making nice progress, doing our meditation exercises, breathing deeply, and picturing ourselves in the safe interior of a magic subterranean cave which has soft shafts of sunlight and a glowing pool of gently lapping water. And, importantly, our peaceful place has no freaking sources of news whatsoever. But eventually we have to return to reality, where we're again assaulted by political and media lunacy - causing a tsunami of stress hormones to pressure-wash the insides of our rapidly-aging veins.

What's most frustrating is that we're not nuts - there really is stark raving, mouth-breathing, utter insanity loose in the world and it's only spreading and growing in popularity.

Seriously, if Democrats would just look at all these crazy news stories, it might suddenly dawn on them why so many sane people have chosen to support a President who is at least a bit less nuts than anyone in the Democrat party.

We'd say more, but the session time is up.

Monday, April 22, 2019

The Heller Report

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"It's the best there is," Doc Daneeka agreed.
The "lightly redacted" Mueller Report has been made public and, predictably, it's not changing a single mind regarding President Trump's guilt or innocence. Not that the anti-Trump forces are exactly sure what Trump is guilty of other than his repeatedly pointing out that a two-year phony investigation was, indeed, a phony investigation.

An attempted political coup, in fact, which we're certainly hoping Attorney General Barr will be pursuing thoroughly, relentlessly, and hopefully mercilessly.

The Mueller Report clearly establishes that neither Trump nor anyone in his circle had anything to do with Russian collusion, and that sufficient evidence to cause Obama's justice department to spy on Trump's campaign never actually existed - everything was based on a fabricated (and transparently ridiculous) dossier which was paid for by Trump's opposition in the 2016 election: Hillary Clinton and the DNC.

Failing to find evidence of, well, anything truly damaging to Trump, Robert Mueller packed his report with snarky anecdotes about Trump being a volatile and chaotic personality surrounded by staffers who keep him from making big mistakes.

Well, duh - that's exactly what we voted for! The system is working!

To expand further on this point (and make it simple enough for even our liberal friends to understand), let's travel back to a post we made last year which explains why we don't give a rat's rear end about anything in the Mueller Report...


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Yes, we know that Trump doesn't drink, for which we give thanks daily. This is a metaphor.
According to Bob Woodward's new tell-all book "Fear" and a recent New York Times op-ed which was allegedly written by "an anonymous White House official who we are totally not making up," President Donald Trump is an egotistical, mercurial boob who requires constant supervision by others to stave off disaster.


The accounts may or may not be 100% accurate, but we don't care - other than having a constant undercurrent of mild terror. Because many of us who voted for Trump, however reluctantly, knew all of this about him going in. We weren't really happy about giving the country's reins to a man whose thought process can be likened to a pinball machine, but the only other choice was inconceivably worse.

Going back to our cartoon metaphor, our plane was already in serious trouble and going down fast. Hillary Clinton would put us into a nose dive at maximum throttle, then cackle hysterically (when not coughing) all the way down to our fiery doom.

Trump, on the other hand, might seem to have a screw loose - but he had a record of somehow getting things accomplished and seemed sincere in his desire to save the day. And unlike Hillary's kamikaze scenario, Trump wouldn't be alone in the cockpit - he'd actually have a trained co-pilot, flight engineer, navigator, and others to help compensate for his inexperience and eccentricities.

Which brings us to the present. Woodward and the New York Times are reporting that dedicated White House staffers are working constantly to defuse Trump's bad ideas and help enable his good ideas - which is why this amateur President keeps racking up success after success.

In other words, we're seeing a scary process that produces good results rather than what, under Hillary, would have been a nightmarishly efficient process producing devastating results.

That doesn't strike us as being an entirely bad thing. Especially if the in-flight turbulence doesn't get bad enough to keep the flight attendant from rolling that drink cart our way on a regular basis.

Friday, April 19, 2019

Cheeky Excuse

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Now THAT'S what we call a Buttigieg!
We're taking the day off to attend to some non-emergency family business, but wanted there to be at least a minor visual reward for those who showed up here today. Which is why we're sharing this picture of an absolutely spectacular straw hat.

Durable, inexpensive, made from renewable materials, and offering great protection against the sun's damaging rays, we can't recommend straw fedoras highly enough. Whether you get an ornate hat woven from pampas grass, or a much humbler hat woven from not-so-pampas grass, you'll be sporting a style which we can all enthusiastically get behind, without the cost putting you in arrears!

We'd say more, but oddly we keep losing our train of thought. Or, to get to the bottom of things, we keep thinking about cabooses...

Have a great weekend and see you back here on Monday!