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Monday, July 26, 2021

Derailed Train of Thought

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Yeah, he really said all that

I'm still in "looking aghast from the sidelines" mode, but felt like it was time to post a little something to remind people that I'm not dead, dying, nor incarcerated. Yet. Plus, this will give us a nice clean slate for the comments area, where intelligent and well-informed people are still posting the best chat on the Internet.

And despite my ongoing sabbatical, I still hear the drumbeat of ongoing news. Although it might just be my throbbing headache. 

• Nancy Pelosi is single-handedly choosing the (ahem) "bipartisan" members of a committee to investigate the January 6th Patriots Picnic in Washington, which Dems and the media are breathlessly calling "the most deadly assault on the Capitol in 200 years." A ludicrous thing to say, even though it was the most deadly event in Ashli Babbitt's life.

• The Dems look likely to pass Bernie Sanders' 3.5 Trillion Dollar (actually 5.5 Trillion) spending bill soon, meaning the value of Monopoly money is about to surge when measured against the buying power of the American dollar.

• The Olympics are allegedly taking place in empty stadiums, which is a pretty good metaphor for the lack of enthusiasm people are feeling for the event. Personally, I've given up caring about the USA teams because there's been so much political nonsense and so many personal anti-American demonstrations on and off the field leading up to this event.  Here's a wild idea: in the future, howzabout we ask athletes if they have any problem with showing respect to the American flag before putting them on Team USA?

• Although it almost looks like a hint of sanity, I'm not getting my hopes up too much over the fact that Joe Biden ("The Most Popular Man Ever To Run For Office!") keeps seeing his approval ratings fall, recently hitting the 50% mark. Even more telling is a recent poll that shows a majority of Americans (Conservatives, Liberals, and Independents) now view our nation's future pessimistically, with actual optimism falling a full 20 points since May. Nice job of uniting the country, Joe!

• Federal officials have already apprehended ("Welcome to the United States! Here's a plane ticket and some walking around money!") over 1.1 million people crossing our border with Mexico this year. We know that the Democrats' goal is to alter voting demographics permanently, but just how much impact can these "immigrants" have? Here's a fun fact: if you put all of those people in one place and called it a state, it would immediately have a greater population than nine of our existing states do

Of course, the Left's goal isn't to create a new state, but rather to ship just enough of those people to existing states to change the demographics, cause redistricting, and sway elections (at the same time the Dems are coincidentally trying to federalize elections to ban voter IDs). Currently, our military is being used to fly these intruders to all 50 states rather than, oh, carpet-bombing our southern border. Which strikes me as a damn shame.

• On a personal note, I'm currently recovering from a very uncomfortable urinary tract infection. I won't go into details, but as a gesture of solidarity, I will never again participate in a weenie roast.

Friday, July 16, 2021

Knock-Knock Jokers

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Okay, this cartoon isn't subtle and we're not even sure that it's funny. But Joe Biden's call for the United Nations to investigate (and eventually "control") racism and white supremacy in the United States is beyond the pale. If there is a less racist country than ours in the United Nations, we'd sure as hell like to know what it is.

But no, our alleged president is now saying that racism is at its worst since the Civil War, owing in part to the fact that Texas wants to pass regulations to help ensure honest elections. And it's worth noting that what the media is calling the Texas "voter suppression" law would actually institute less-restrictive voting practices than those in Joe Biden's home state of Delaware.

As a case in point, one of the worse-than-lynching proposals in Texas is to offer drive-thru voting for the convenience of the disabled, but NOT to jam those drive-thru polling locations with able-bodied people who just don't want to get out of their idling, fossil fuel-burning, pollution-belching cars. And somehow this common sense policy is considered racially discriminatory, which raises an interesting question: how are people who allegedly can't get photo IDs legally driving cars?!

But facts don't matter. The Dems have decided to run with the imaginary racism football as far as they can go with it - including, apparently, asking the members of the United Nations to adjudicate our nation's morality while failing to stop ethnic genocide and slavery within their own borders. An idea so insane and offensive that it rockets past hypocrisy and should instead be considered just cause for Joe Biden's immediate removal from office.

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Wednesday, July 14, 2021

Sunny And Sharing

Readers- In a complete change of pace, I'm posting materials by other people today. The cartoon is just one that I saw online and liked for obvious reasons...

The other piece, written by political blogger Darryl Cooper, is the best summation I've seen explaining why so many of us currently feel the way we do. This should be mandatory reading for those on the other side who think, wrongly, that we're the delusional ones. Note that this was written as a series of tweets, each of which appears in a new paragraph here.

Darryl Cooper on the 2020 Election and its Fallout

I think I've had discussions with enough Boomer-tier Trump supporters who believe the 2020 election was fraudulent to extract a general theory about their perspective. It is also the perspective of most of the people at the Capitol on 1/6, and probably even Trump himself. 

Most believe some or all of the theories involving midnight ballots, voting machines, etc, but what you find when you talk to them is that, while they'll defend those positions with info they got from Hannity or Breitbart or whatever, they're not particularly attached to them. 

Here are the facts - actual, confirmed facts - that shape their perspective: 1) The FBI/etc spied on the 2016 Trump campaign using evidence manufactured by the Clinton campaign. We now know that all involved knew it was fake from Day 1 (see: Brennan's July 2016 memo, etc). 

These are Tea Party people. The types who give their kids a pocket Constitution for their birthday and have Founding Fathers memes in their bios. The intel community spying on a presidential campaign using fake evidence (incl forged documents) is a big deal to them. 

Everyone involved lied about their involvement as long as they could. We only learned the DNC paid for the manufactured evidence because of a court order. Comey denied on TV knowing the DNC paid for it, when we have emails from a year earlier proving that he knew. 

This was true with everyone, from CIA Dir Brennan & Adam Schiff - who were on TV saying they'd seen clear evidence of collusion with Russia, while admitting under oath behind closed doors that they hadn't - all the way down the line. In the end we learned that it was ALL fake. 

At first, many Trump people were worried there must be some collusion, because every media & intel agency wouldn't make it up out of nothing. When it was clear that they had made it up, people expected a reckoning, and shed many illusions about their gov't when it didn't happen. 

We know as fact: a) The Steele dossier was the sole evidence used to justify spying on the Trump campaign, b) The FBI knew the Steele dossier was a DNC op, c) Steele's source told the FBI the info was unserious, d) they did not inform the court of any of this and kept spying. 

Trump supporters know the collusion case front and back. They went from worrying the collusion must be real, to suspecting it might be fake, to realizing it was a scam, then watched as every institution - agencies, the press, Congress, academia - gaslit them for another year. 

Worse, collusion was used to scare people away from working in the administration. They knew their entire lives would be investigated. Many quit because they were being bankrupted by legal fees. The DoJ, press, & gov't destroyed lives and actively subverted an elected admin. 

This is where people whose political identity was largely defined by a naive belief in what they learned in Civics class began to see the outline of a Regime that crossed all institutional boundaries. Because it had stepped out of the shadows to unite against an interloper. 

GOP propaganda still has many of them thinking in terms of partisan binaries, but A LOT of Trump supporters see that the Regime is not partisan. They all know that the same institutions would have taken opposite sides if it was a Tulsi Gabbard vs Jeb Bush election. 

It's hard to describe to people on the left (who are used to thinking of government as a conspiracy... Watergate, COINTELPRO, WMD, etc) how shocking & disillusioning this was for people who encourage their sons to enlist in the Army, and hate people who don't stand for the Anthem. 

They could have managed the shock if it only involved the government. But the behavior of the corporate press is really what radicalized them. They hate journalists more than they hate any politician or gov't official, because they feel most betrayed by them. 

The idea that the press is driven by ratings/sensationalism became untenable. If that were true, they'd be all over the Epstein story. The corporate press is the propaganda arm of the Regime they now see in outline. Nothing anyone says will ever make them unsee that, period. 

This is profoundly disorienting. Many of them don't know for certain whether ballots were faked in November 2020, but they know for absolute certain that the press, the FBI, etc would lie to them if there was. They have every reason to believe that, and it's probably true. 

They watched the press behave like animals for four years. Tens of millions of people will always see Kavanaugh as a gang rapist, based on nothing, because of CNN. And CNN seems proud of that. They led a lynch mob against a high school kid. They cheered on a summer of riots. 

They always claimed the media had liberal bias, fine, whatever. They still thought the press would admit truth if they were cornered. Now they don't. It's a different thing to watch them invent stories out of whole cloth in order to destroy regular lives and spark mass violence. 

Time Mag told us that during the 2020 riots, there were weekly conference calls involving, among others, leaders of the protests, the local officials who refused to stop them, and media people who framed them for political effect. In Ukraine we call that a color revolution. 

Throughout the summer, Democrat governors took advantage of COVID to change voting procedures. It wasn't just the mail-ins (they lowered signature matching standards, etc). After the collusion scam, the fake impeachment, Trump people expected shenanigans by now. 

Re: "fake impeachment", we now know that Trump's request for Ukraine to cooperate with the DOJ regarding Biden's financial activities in Ukraine was in support of an active investigation being pursued by the FBI and Ukraine AG at the time, and so a completely legitimate request. 

Then you get the Hunter laptop scandal. Big Tech ran a full-on censorship campaign against a major newspaper to protect a political candidate. Period. Everyone knows it, all of the Tech companies now admit it was a "mistake" - but, ya know, the election's over, so who cares? 

Goes without saying, but: If the NY Times had Don Jr's laptop, full of pics of him smoking crack and engaging in group sex, lots of lurid family drama, emails describing direct corruption and backed up by the CEO of the company they were using, the NYT wouldn't have been banned. 

Think back: Stories about Trump being pissed on by Russian prostitutes and blackmailed by Putin were promoted as fact, and the only evidence was a document paid for by his opposition and disavowed by its source. The NY Post was banned for reporting on true information. 

The reaction of Trump people to all this was not, "no fair!" That's how they felt about Romney's "binders of women" in 2012. This is different. Now they see, correctly, that every institution is captured by people who will use any means to exclude them from the political process. 

And yet they showed up in record numbers to vote. He got 13m more votes than in 2016, 10m more than Clinton got! As election night dragged on, they allowed themselves some hope. But when the four critical swing states (and only those states) went dark at midnight, they knew. 

Over the ensuing weeks, they got shuffled around by grifters and media scam artists selling them conspiracy theories. They latched onto one, then another increasingly absurd theory as they tried to put a concrete name on something very real. 

Media & Tech did everything to make things worse. Everything about the election was strange - the changes to procedure, unprecedented mail-in voting, the delays, etc - but rather than admit that and make everything transparent, they banned discussion of it (even in Direct Messages!). 

Everyone knows that, just as Don Jr's laptop would've been the story of the century, if everything about the election dispute was the same, except the parties were reversed, suspicions about the outcome would've been Taken Very Seriously. See 2016 for proof. 

Even the courts' refusal of the case gets nowhere with them, because of how the opposition embraced mass political violence. They'll say,  with good reason: What judge will stick his neck out for Trump knowing he'll be destroyed in the media as a violent mob burns down his house? 

It's a fact, according to Time Magazine, that mass riots were planned in cities across the country if Trump won. Sure, they were "protests", but they were planned by the same people as during the summer, and everyone knows what it would have meant. Judges have families, too. 

Forget the ballot conspiracies. It's a fact that governors used COVID to unconstitutionally alter election procedures (the Constitution states that only legislatures can do so) to help Biden to make up for a massive enthusiasm gap by gaming the mail-in ballot system.

They knew it was unconstitutional, it's right there in plain English. But they knew the cases wouldn't see court until after the election. And what judge will toss millions of ballots because a governor broke the rules? The threat of mass riots wasn't implied, it was direct.

Let's do a final review:

a) The entrenched bureaucracy & security state subverted Trump from Day 1 

b) The press is part of the operation, 

c) Election rules were changed, 

d) Big Tech censors opposition,

e) Political violence is legitimized & encouraged,

f) Trump is banned from social media. 

They were led down some rabbit holes, but they are absolutely right that their government is monopolized by a Regime that believes they are beneath representation and will observe no limits to keep them from getting it. 

Trump fans should be happy he lost; it might've kept him alive. 

Friday, July 9, 2021

Alive And Kicking Back



This seemed like a good time to remind everyone that I'm not dead, wounded, or imprisoned at Guantanamo, nor is this blog "gone." It is simply appearing very sporadically, much like coherent sentences coming out of Joe Biden's mouth.

My experiment with backing away from politics continues. Oh, I still read the Wall Street Journal and occasionally peek in to see what Tucker Carlson is rightfully angry about. But I'm not following myriad stories beat-by-beat, and I'm using all of that saved time to accomplish...well...not much yet. Hey, redefining yourself doesn't happen overnight (except for hungover people who discover the "morning after" that their sexual orientation wasn't what they thought it was).

So I'm mostly attacking chores with varying degrees of success:

• I mowed my lawn. Which sounds dull, but mowing a lawn in Texas in July is basically playing Russian roulette with heatstroke.

• Related to the Texas heat, there are reports that our state's electrical grid may get spotty in the coming days and weeks. Bringing my Covid-prepper mindset to the problem, I've purchased a number of rechargeable camp fans and a portable solar panel so that in case of a power outage, the Jarlsberg family (including dogs) can at least enjoy hot breezes until the air conditioning comes back or we just flat out die.

• Speaking of air conditioning, the unit has stopped working in daughter Jarlsberg's car. Fortunately, I found a Youtube video about how to fix the problem and was assured "you can do it in 15 minutes even if you've never done it before." I'd like to think that it's part of my charm that I'm still stupid enough to believe that sort of thing. My efforts came to naught and I'm taking the car in for repair tomorrow. And if they try to bill me for three hours of work, I'll refer them to the Youtube video as a negotiating tactic.

• I've started sorting through dusty boxes of paperwork and memorabilia to prepare for a possible interview which may go into a real, intended-for-broadcast documentary about an unusual business venture I was part of many years ago. The enterprise received national attention for a while and, despite allegations to the contrary, was not promoting Satanism. And that's really all I can say because I signed a non-disclosure agreement. Wait, am I allowed to say that? Well, it's too late now.

• And for no particular reason other than that it's Friday, let's enjoy a quick round of "O Caption, My Caption." And no, I don't know what the heck this thing really is other than it was a medical illustration...

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Friday, July 2, 2021

Wham On Wry

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To better explain why I'm taking some time off from politics, I wanted to create a graphic which would illustrate my current mindset. And I couldn't think of any better metaphor than a carnival "high striker" game in which a heavy mallet blow sends a weight soaring upwards, the goal being to ring the bell at the top. Now imagine that the game is my level of anger about the news. I'd reached a point (and I'm still there) in which every news item rang my bell every freaking time.

Cackling Kamala Harris going to a border (but not the problematic border) to address illegal immigration without ever mentioning border security? BANG - shwoop! - CLANG!

News that Ivermectin, when properly administered, reduces Covid deaths by 62% and transmission by 86% - but there's still nobody talking about it (and the millions who died unnecessarily)? CLANG!

The NFL running an ad that proclaims "Football is Gay. Football is Lesbian. Football is Beautiful. Football is Queer. Football is Life. Football is Transgender. Football is Tough. Football is Bisexual. Football is Accepting. Football is Everything. Football is for Everyone." CLANG!

A U.S. Olympic athlete (in the highly-regarded sport of "hammer throwing") turns her well-toned ebony back on the American flag at an event because it doesn't speak for her? CLANG!

A Biden administration member attempts to blame the Florida condo collapse on "climate change?" CLANG!

In the face of a growing wave of violent crime, Democrats claim that it's Republicans who are defunding the police? CLANG!

And so on and so on and so on. Each incident sends my temper skyrocketing and leaves a fresh dent in an already well-worn bell. Which is why I decided to take an extended time-out. And so far, it feels pretty darn good.

Have I given up hope that things can get better? Absolutely not! But they're not going to get better in the immediate future, so I'd like to use that immediate future to enjoy myself as much as possible. And part of that enjoyment will be continuing to communicate with you here, about whatever goofiness is on my mind, or whatever amusement I can cook up for you. And I can't commit to any kind of schedule, but just know that I'm not disappearing. 

Nor can I completely ignore politics.  As a case in point, I just found out that our family dentist - who we've used for decades - is closing his practice. He loves what he does, but just can't take the bureaucratic BS anymore. The straw that finally broke the camel's back: in order to keep his practice open, he was being required to take classes teaching him how to recognize and fight sex trafficking. Presumably so he could call Kamala Harris (ha!) if a decaying van overpacked with weeping children comes screeching to a halt outside his door and a dust-covered Latinx Coyote rushes in to ask, "How motch to make the cheeldren's mouths preety?"

CLANG!

And One More Thing....


Have a glorious Independence Day weekend and celebrate what is still the greatest nation on Earth!

Wednesday, June 23, 2021

Summer Breakation

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Readers- I'm going to take a break for a bit and will be posting only sporadically (but if you're on the email list, you'll always be alerted to new material).


I'm glad to say that there's nothing sad, sinister, or even remotely depressing behind this decision. Rather, it's a case of there being some other fun things I want to accomplish and currently there just isn't enough time to squeeze everything in.

Plus, after doing this for 12+ years, it doesn't help that the news has become an unrelentingly negative slog. At this point, I think we can all agree that our country is on the receiving end of metaphorical (and perhaps literal) Chinese water torture without the need for me to opine on every new droplet as it splatters on our foreheads.

I'll definitely have more to say about all of this (probably on Friday) after doing some thought-gathering and navel-gazing (which I'd previously given up for Lint). For now, just know that all is well and I'm in a perfectly good mood, but change is in the air!

Monday, June 21, 2021

Father's Day Fables

As has become tradition here at Stilton's Place over the years, we're taking a break from the news to present a heartwarming Father's Day offering: two inspirational children's stories written long, long ago by Stilton's father.  Which explains a lot...

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Friday, June 18, 2021

Too Much Truth

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Okay, we WANTED to take today off, but some things just can't pass without comment - although that seems to be exactly what our mainstream media is doing.

Specifically, we have a monumental problem with Joe Biden's statement in Geneva in which he explained to the world how rights work in the United States: "We don't derive our rights from the government. We possess them because we're born. Period. And we yield them to a government."

No, Joe, we don't yield our rights to the government or anyone else. That's rather the whole point of our nation, our history, the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights. But now, the president of the United States has spoken a little too much truth about how he and his political party view things: citizens have rights, but those rights must be surrendered to government authority. At which point, it's not so much "authority" as it is totalitarianism and oppression.

Of course, every Democrat in Washington knows that, but most of them also know not to ever say it out loud.

This wasn't one of Biden's typical gaffes or verbal tossed salads. There has been no "clarification" issued, and no apology for what should be considered a wildly incendiary statement. He just announced to the world that the United States is now under an authoritarian regime.

Despite the media blackout on this story, people need to hear about it, share it, and then make it very, very clear to those in Washington DC that real Americans have no intention of "yielding" to Marxist power plays.

Wednesday, June 16, 2021

Getting Behind On The News


Readers- As I mentioned on Monday, I'm taking the rest of the week off. My colonoscopy on Tuesday went fine, but the prep and the procedure were pretty tiring. And normally I'd say I just need a little time to lick my wounds, only that paints a picture that none of us wants to imagine.

I'll note that since it was June 15th, I also wrote another massive self-employment tax check to the government. I figured as long as I'm taking it up the poop-chute anyway, I might as well get it all done on the same day.

See you in the comments section!  -Stilton

Monday, June 14, 2021

Weeking Off Again

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Oh sure, we can laugh - but he was just awarded a "Pull It, Sir" prize

CNN viewers may want to install windshield wipers on their television sets now that Jeffrey "Sound of One Hand Clapping" Toobin has returned to the air. Toobin had been given some time off for getting off - specifically, on a Zoom call with CNN colleagues during which he grabbed some lotion, a tissue, and then proceeded to pleasure himself while on camera

Granted, CNN anchors do that all the time during actual broadcasts, but the action is usually hidden because they're forced to sit behind desks with washable undersides. And the same practice is also rampant at MSNBC, where they winkingly describe their throes of pleasure as "leaning forward."

All of this takes us back to the title of today's post, "Weeking Off Again," because that's what we're going to be doing this week at Stilton's Place. Taking time off, that is, not making obscene Zoom phone calls while pretending that part of our anatomy is a trombone.

We also find ourselves more than a little distracted by an impending colonoscopy on Tuesday, which means fasting all day Monday and then finishing the day with two rounds of chemically-induced explosive diarrhea. Sort of like if Dr. Fauci sent our tax dollars to Wuhan to create "gain of function" mutations in Ex-Lax.

And of course, we're not really nuts about the invasive procedure itself, likely to be performed with surplus equipment from the canceled "Keystone XL" pipeline project. Although on the bright side, we think we should at least be able to rack up some Woke points for scheduling our anal invasion during Pride month.

(Side note: "News" sources are delightedly reporting that Kamala Harris "made history" by being the first VP to march in a rainbow-striped Pride Parade over the weekend. Our thought is that walking one freaking block isn't even news, let alone history. And more importantly, pretty much EVERY VP has marched in Pride Parades over the years. Okay, back then they were called "4th of July" parades, but trust us, snowflakes - they were about pride.)

Anyway, we've decided to take the entire week off (barring really spectacular events) in order to step away from the news for a bit and make an effort to get some joie de vivre. Which, the astute among you will already have guessed, is French for "Clan MacGregor."

As always, the comments section will remain open and lively - see you there!

BREAKING NEWS: ARKANCIDE HOTLINE

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Unsurprisingly, Jeffrey Epstein was unavailable for comment

Friday, June 11, 2021

Sitting On Attacks

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Dr. Anthony "Satan's Little Helper" Fauci spoke out Wednesday against his growing legion of critics, saying that an attack on him is really an attack on science.

"A lot of what you're seeing as attacks on me, quite frankly, are attacks on science," whined the man who helped bankroll the pandemic, "because all of the things that I have spoken about consistently from the very beginning have been fundamentally based on science."

(We pause in our commentary to express our hopes that the word "fundamentally" will fully recover from being savagely pummeled beyond recognition.)

"People want to fire me or put me in jail for what I've done," Fauci said accurately, until adding, "namely, follow the science."

Which makes us think that he's a little unclear on the whole concept of "following"...

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And speaking of things that are hard to follow, we're feeling confused about two seemingly conflicting statements recently issued by the Biden administration. His ironically named intelligence agencies recently declared that the greatest threat to our nation is posed by White Supremacists, assuming that any can eventually be found. Yet Biden himself declared that the greatest threat to our nation (and the world!) comes from climate change.

Hopefully, some good old-fashioned investigative journalism can help sort out this contradiction soon...

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Wednesday, June 9, 2021

Do Not Kamala

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In her ongoing effort to solve the border crisis without actually getting anywhere near the border or interacting with anyone remotely associated with the out-of-control situation, Vice President Kamala Harris recently flew to Guatemala to deliver an important message to potential illegal immigrants.

"Do not come!" she said in clear and unmistakable terms. "Do not come...to the land of opportunity where you will be warmly welcomed, be given food, shelter, a smartphone, premium cable and high-speed Internet, regular infusions of walking around money, free transportation anywhere in the country, and a beautiful new pre-filled voter registration card." Well that should keep them home, right?

Not, of course, that Kamala wasn't willing to sweeten the deal a little by offering more billions of American taxpayer dollars to Guatemala to make it into such a wonderful place that no one would ever, ever, ever want to leave, in much the same way that Dorothy Gale eventually decided to just stay in Kansas.

But perhaps Ms. Harris would have better results if she simply terrified potential immigrants by reminding them that the United States is absolutely teeming with horrible white people. A problem that still hasn't been solved, even though a Yale lecturer recently offered some interesting ideas...

GO DIRECTLY TO YALE

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Yale's School of Medicine recently invited Dr. Aruna Khilanani to speak at a weekly forum on mental health (although it was perhaps unclear whether they were for it or against it). During a lecture called "The Psychopathic Problem of the White Mind," Dr. Khilanani bonded with the audience by sharing her personal perspective:

"I had fantasies of unloading a revolver into the head of any white person that got in my way," she explained, "burying their body and wiping my bloody hands as I walked away relatively guiltless with a bounce in my step, like I did the world a f*cking favor." She also described white Americans as "demented, violent predators" after which she called kettles black.

While her audience called her remarks "absolutely brilliant" and said she gave "voice to us as people of color," Dr. Khilanani's opinions have not always been so well received. For instance, her white therapist had previously called her foam-flecked anger about perceived racism "psychotic." But sadly, that condition is now indistinguishable from academic expertise in the Ivy League.

But is it actually a problem to ignore insanely violent rhetoric in a lecture setting? Seriously, what's the worst that could happen? Oh yeah, another Fort Hood massacre:

From The Vault: Prophet And Loss Statement (8/7/13)

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In an opening statement at his military trial, Fort Hood terrorist Nidal Hassan - who is presenting his own defense - said that he is a "mujahideen," and that "the evidence will clearly show that I am the shooter. The dead bodies will show that war is an ugly thing."

In response, the prosecution said "no further evidence," after which a firing squad composed of recovering Fort Hood survivors stood, took aim with their rifles, then blew Hassan into the land of imaginary virgins.

Just kidding, of course. Although the scenario above makes perfect sense to Hope n' Change, the reality is that the trial is expected to take at least a month, and perhaps several months - during which time Hassan will denigrate the United States, our military, Fort Hood, and his multiple victims (some of whom he's actually calling to the stand), while praising radical, militant Islam and the glories of executing his fellow soldiers in the name of Allah.

All of which is a huge waste of time and money, an insult to both the dead and the survivors, and a scathing rebuke of Barack Hussein Obama's contention that poor old Nidal was nothing more than a disgruntled worker who had a bad day at the office - and that the rivers of blood which flowed that day had nothing to do with the president's cherished "religion of peace."

One thing is certain: that blood flowed in no small part because this president has made it clear that he won't tolerate "discrimination" against Muslims, including those who print business cards that say "Soldier of Allah," and who give Powerpoint presentations describing the way they'll behead infidels and pour boiling oil down their throats.

Put another way, Benghazi was only the tip of the iceberg: Obama has already given the "stand down" order for our military to protect itself from the Nidal Hassans of this world.

Perhaps another trial is in order to find out why.

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Monday, June 7, 2021

Beaches? We Don't Need No Stinking Beaches!

We can't let the 77th Anniversary of the D-Day invasion pass without pausing to give thanks to all who served there and the many who died. Nor will we skip another opportunity to criticize those who have dishonored the day and the dead. 

FROM THE VAULT: BEACHES?! WE DON'T NEED NO STINKING BEACHES! (2015)

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Saturday marked the 71st anniversary of the historic D-Day invasion...which you'd think would make a pretty darn good topic for Barack Obama's weakly address (and no, that's not a typo). But instead, the president decided to harangue Americans  about June being "Immigrant Heritage Month." Although to be fair, we're sure he'll give equal time to "National Border Security Month" whenever it gets here.

For those with short memories or recent public educations, back in 1944 France had a pretty serious problem with people trampling their borders, speaking a foreign language, and forcing the locals to change their politics, taxes, and culture to accommodate the newly arrived "dreamers" (so-called because they were inspired by Adolph Hitler's "Dreams From My Fatherland"). And believe it or not, back then the United States was against that sort of thing!

But not today. Barack Obama declared that America is actually made stronger by people who trample our borders, speak a foreign language, and are forcing us to change our politics, taxes, and culture.

And according to the president, we can't just celebrate the allegedly rich heritage of illegal immigration, "we have to defend it." Specifically, he mentioned defending it from the evil sieg-heiling Republicans whom he seems to imagine are in cliff-top bunkers mercilessly spraying down machine gun fire at the dreamers bravely storming the bloodsoaked beaches of the Rio Grande.

And just to reinforce his not-so-subtle suggestion that Americans lack any moral authority to regulate immigration, he again spoke of Michelle and his daughters, "some of whose ancestors came here in chains." A thought so sad that it makes Hope n' Change want to send the ladies a reparation check if we can just get an address for one of the five-star luxury hotels they'll be staying in during their European vacation next week.

Barack Obama's choice of the anniversary of D-Day to denigrate Americans and praise our nation's invaders is almost the supreme irony. And we say "almost" only because he managed to top it only 24 hours later.

Because that's when he flew overseas to enjoy beer and sausages with the Germans.

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Note: In the commentary above, we unintentionally made it sound like D-Day was an exclusively American operation. As we mark this 71st anniversary, let us also remember the many brave Brits, New Zealanders, Australians, Canadians and Poles who fought and died in Operation Overlord.

Friday, June 4, 2021

Paging Dr. Fauci

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Amazon and Barnes & Noble have suddenly removed their listings for an upcoming new book by Dr. Anthony "I've Never Been Right About Anything In My Life" Fauci because, in a bit of irony almost too wonderful to be true, the book announcement was the result of an accidental leak. Although Fauci himself maintains that the PR release probably wrote itself and was subsequently spread through a wet market. 

The book, scheduled to be released in early November, is called "Expect The Unexpected: Ten Lessons on Truth, Service, and the Way Forward." Presumably because the publisher turned down the original title, "What The F*ck Have I Done: Lies, Deaths, and Criminal Liability." And at just 80 pages long, Fauci's "book" is really more of a pamphlet. Which is unsurprising considering that every lesson he's actually learned from the pandemic could fit neatly inside a fortune cookie ("Wear pancake makeup on TV so they can't see you sweat.")

The alleged book is being published by National Geographic, which has previously made most of its money by publishing a monthly magazine devoted to glossy, full-color pictures of bare-breasted African women with salacious captions like "Ubangi? Ubetcha!"

Not, of course, that there's anything wrong with that. Different cultures have different standards, and if impoverished black women are okay with being pimped as spank bank material by a big corporation, who are we to judge? It's certainly no reason for BLM to set any corporate offices on fire or anything.

But returning to the subject of Dr. Fauci's book, we expect it to change a lot of minds. Mostly on the subject of whether or not book-burning might be a good idea after all. We might even go so far as to suggest that "Expect The Unexpected" should become the next "Bonfire of the Inanities." 

On second thought, no we won't - because nothing about Dr. Fauci is a laughing matter. This whiny, weaselly little bastard has lied to the American people and the world about everything, pretty much from day one, and is at least partially culpable in millions of deaths.

He lied about the virus's human-to-human transmissibility, lied (repeatedly and inconsistently) about the effectiveness of masks, lied about the near-certainty that the virus came from a Wuhan lab leak, lied about the fact that he himself had sent American tax dollars to the Wuhan Virology Institute to fund "gain of function" research to turn bat viruses into human super-killers, lied about the significant efficacy and low risk from inexpensive medications like hydroxychloroquine and ivermectin (which surely could have saved hundreds of thousands of lives) while touting insanely expensive new medications from Big Pharma like Remdesivir - despite the fact that it has a 0% effect on reducing mortality.

In this global nightmare, Fauci has been one of the bad guys (historically among the worst of bad guys). But he's escaped close scrutiny because the media was able to use him as a goad in their war against President Donald "I know you hate me but I pushed the vaccine through anyway" Trump. And if that meant unimaginable numbers of people would die needlessly, well, it was worth it to get rid of the Bad Orange Man who wanted to Make America Great Again.

Fauci enjoying book profits from a global holocaust which he helped create is as nonsensical and offensive as the idea that Hitler should have gotten the royalties for The Diary of Anne Frank. The very idea is an obscenity.

Wednesday, June 2, 2021

Coming Up Next

In nature, mother birds regurgitate into the mouths of their young to provide all-important sustenance and nutrition. So too, in politics and the news, do those who are stationed above us puke into our upturned faces and expect a "thank you" for their generosity. And today, we're just not in the mood.

Reviewing news stories for today's blog, we managed to put ourselves in a foul mood (or fowl, if we want to stick with the bird metaphor). Enough so that we don't even have anything particularly clever to say, but will instead just list a few of the stories that are honking us off...

• On Sunday, two people were killed and 21 others injured at a mass shooting in Miami. News reports rather cryptically said that this occurred at a "banquet hall" and, for reasons we can only guess at, did not mention that it was a rap concert. The shootings were by three thugs who jumped from a white van and opened fire, then drove away. And despite the van being described as "white," no color was ascribed to the shooters. Including in the security video that showed three black guys with guns. But a mysterious shooting at a banquet hall just doesn't fit the desired news narrative as well as "black guys shoot up rap concert crowd because they can."

• There are more (and more) stories about hate crimes in which black folks beat the hell out of Asian folks. But again, the news reports only mention the victims' race...never that of the assailants, even though (again based on security video) it always seems to be black assailants. And we're bitching about this not because we've got a problem with anyone black, but we have a HUGE problem with "news" which distorts and hides facts which could be helpful in addressing a genuinely serious and growing problem.

• There are very few Covid-related topics we aren't sick of at this point, so we're not really enjoying the media's tiptoe approach into speculation that the virus was manipulated in, and escaped from, a lab in Wuhan, China. People who were paying any freaking attention at all have known this for more than a year. But the truth had to be covered up, lest the reality help Donald Trump's reelection effort. With very few exceptions, every news source has gotten so much wrong (often deliberately) about Covid that we just don't give a damn anymore.

• Holy sweet mother of pearl, do we dislike Biden and Harris! And all of their friends and co-conspirators.

• The White House issued a proclamation to remind us all that this is LGBTQ+ Pride Month. We're just unsure about whether it's racist when white LGBTQ+ people feel pride? We live in confusing times.

But rather than leave you with the impression that there's no such thing as good news anymore, we're happy to report that in Fitzgerald, Georgia, work continues on the construction of a majestic 62-foot framework which will soon become the world's largest living topiary chicken. It's stories like that which give us the will to keep going.

Monday, May 31, 2021

Memorial Day 2021

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Today is not about politics. It's about remembering that the freedoms we too easily take for granted came at the highest imaginable cost. We are all in the debt of the fallen - and while it is a debt that can never be repaid, it is essential that we try to prove ourselves worthy of their sacrifice every day.

On this Memorial Day, please take time in your thoughts to express gratitude to those who have died in the service of our nation, and to rededicate yourself to the defense of the gifts they have given us.

Friday, May 28, 2021

The Great White Nope

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To help "Make America Greater Than The Bad Orange Man Did," Joe Biden is pushing his "American Rescue Plan" which will distribute billions of dollars in Covid relief funds to "socially disadvantaged" people. And according to Biden, "socially disadvantaged" doesn't necessarily mean you're poor, or uneducated, or jobless, or particularly impacted by Covid at all- it just means you aren't white. Because Biden's plan might more accurately be labeled "No Cash For Caucasians."

Blacks, Native Americans, Alaskan Natives, Hispanics, and Pacific Islanders have all been granted "instant victim" status regardless of their degree of success in life. Because in Democratic minds, if any of those people are succeeding it's clearly some kind of fluke.

Not everyone is happy with this reasoning, including a white farmer (who has filed a lawsuit) born with spina bifida, who has two prosthetic legs, struggles to milk 70 cows a day, is overwhelmed with debt, and still can't get financial aid solely because of his skin color. Apparently, a twisted spine and two missing legs just aren't "socially disadvantaged" enough to deserve assistance. 

Nor will he be seeing anything from Biden's $100 billion "Justice For Black Farmers Act," which will give 200,000 black applicants 160 acres, a home mortgage, loans for farm equipment and, oh yeah, agricultural training...since they won't need any farming experience to harvest government greens.

Happily, it seems likely that the courts will overturn at least some of Biden's plans because, according to a small technicality hidden deep, deep, deep within the Constitution, overt racism by government agencies isn't legal. Yet.

MEMORIAL DAZED

As we head into the Memorial Day weekend, it's worth checking in to see what Joe Biden's handlers have planned for him...

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Wednesday, May 26, 2021

The Not-So-Great Escape

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Despite the many reassuring headlines saying things like "Chinese Continue To Deny That Genetically Modified Bat Virus Found In Wuhan Came From Wuhan Institute of Genetically Modifying Bat Viruses," a growing body of evidence suggests that our current pandemic is actually the biggest man-caused disaster in human history.

Science writer Nicholas Wade has done yeoman work in analyzing the available data (and writes about it in great detail here) and has come to the conclusion that while it's possible (barely) that the virus had a natural origin, the much greater likelihood is that SARS-CoV-2 escaped from the Wuhan Institute of Virology after they deliberately enhanced the virus's ability to infect human beings.

Among the damning pieces of evidence are reports that technicians in the Wuhan lab suddenly fell seriously ill (with some dying) just days before SARS-CoV-2 magically and spontaneously appeared near the lab. In hindsight, when multiple people in a virology lab suddenly fall ill when working with deadly new diseases, they shouldn't be sent home or to local hospitals. Oops!

So here we are, with 3 million dead (and counting), trillions of dollars in damages, and unprecedented social upheaval - and the likely cause was a screw-up in a lab which had already been criticized for poor security (which didn't keep Anthony Fauci from sending them millions of American tax dollars to play God with), followed by China's blackout on information which could have saved countless lives.

But there's good news and bad news. The good news is that SARS-CoV-2 is far less lethal than some of the other manipulated Frankenstein viruses which could have escaped. The bad news is that absent strong and unified action from all nations, virology research labs are going to continue creating scores of nightmarish pathogens. 

And making mistakes.

BONUS: LIGHTNING ROUND

•  The US State Department issued a memo to our embassies worldwide encouraging them to fly "Black Lives Matter" flags on May 25th to commemorate the one-year anniversary of George Floyd's death. Presumably, embassies which didn't have a handy BLM flag could simply set fire to a standard American flag and use it as an ignition source to torch the embassy "BLM-style" itself.

• The Pentagon has created a working group to cull "extremists" out of the military. To head that group, they've hired a radical named Bishop Garrison who is on record as saying that anyone who voted for Trump (and there were at least 75 million of us) is just such an extremist (and racist and misogynist to boot). This being the case, wouldn't it be easier to disband the whole military rather than just removing the patriots? Then again, that may be the real plan.

• Speaking of the military, God only knows how many of our tax dollars were wasted on this animated recruitment video (widely mocked and quickly withdrawn) which emphasizes that what our military really needs is women who are just as strong as the two lesbian mothers who raised them. Yes, really. 

Monday, May 24, 2021

Guard Dooty

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To the shock of legal scholars, it turns out that Justice isn't necessarily blind after all - it may just be asleep, playing computer solitaire, or watching porn during working hours.

At least, that's how it seems when we consider the jaw-dropping news that the two prison guards (both of whom could interview Lori Lightfoot, if you catch our drift) who were supposed to be keeping suicide watch on Jeffrey Epstein on the night of his death were actually sleeping, playing on computers, and generally doing anything other than their simple but important jobs. And then they falsified legal documents about their activities. 

For which, they're striking a plea deal that won't punish them at all, other than to give them each 100 hours of community service which will likely consist of sleeping, playing computer solitaire, watching porn, then signing false statements that say they were picking up litter next to highways.

Given that no one, and we mean NO ONE, believes that Jeffrey Epstein died of anything other than a murder-for-hire funded by one or more of the high-ranking perverts he had dirt on, this "let 'em off with a slap on the wrist" punishment appears to be more prima facie evidence of a high-level conspiracy.

Were the guards paid to look the other way? Or simply threatened by people who - demonstrably - have the willingness and ability to carry out death threats no matter how closely you're "guarded"?  Not to mention having enough political pull to make sure that their toadies can subsequently escape the legal consequences of their actions. Actions that directly resulted in a man's death and threw up a likely impenetrable barrier to the investigation of wealthy and powerful pedophiles and human traffickers. 

Still, this doesn't come as bad news to everyone...

(From Nov 4, 2019)

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In these stressful political times, it's important to remember to laugh as often as possible - especially about topics which are knee-slappingly funny like murder, pederasty, and sex trafficking.

At least, that's what Progressives find hilarious based on an interview in which The Daily Show host, Trevor Noah, asked Hillary Clinton how she killed Jeffrey Epstein - and was greeted with shrill, psychotic, Joker-style laughter by the First Lady of Arkancide. As opposed to, oh, a denial.

Alleged non-candidate Hillary was appearing on the show along with international diarrhea expert Chelsea "Daddy says it's not incest if I'm Webb Hubbell's" Clinton to promote their inspirational new children's book, "Gusty Women."

No, wait - the book is called "Gutsy Women" and it's filled with examples of women who, like Hillary, were strong and unapologetic historical trailblazers. Little girls (including, of course, those with a penis) can thrill to the colorful exploits of Lucretia Borgia, Lizzie Borden, Ma Barker, Aileen Wournos, Bonnie Parker, and Typhoid Mary - all of whom were gutsy enough to kill scores of people while laughing like hyenas.

And all of whom knew that Jeffrey Epstein did not kill himself.

Friday, May 21, 2021

Black Jive Matters

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Remember when racism was considered shameful and its practitioners had to do so from the shadows? Apparently, that's not the case for Lori Lightfoot, the mayor of Chicago ("Home of the Weekend Body Count"), who has now declared that she'll grant no one-on-one interviews to journalists who are (and we apologize for printing an obscenity) "white."

Lightfoot is openly offended by the number of white journalists covering City Hall in Chicago, and believes that a good dose of old-time racial segregation is just the ticket to establish healthy non-diverse diversity in the press corps.

Mind you, Ms. Lightfoot (preferred pronouns: "it, that, yikes") isn't interested in assuring diversity of opinion in the local news...just diversity of pigmentation.  Because as long as anyone in Chicago is still judging people based on the content of their character rather than the color of their skin, Mayor Lightfoot's racially divisive work is not finished.

MEDICAL UPDATE

We're pleased to report that Stilton's brother is recovering nicely from his recent surgical procedure. A procedure which involved blasting away the inside of his prostate using a flamethrower (well, a cauterizing green laser) which was inserted catheter-style into Mr. Happy's peephole. Then twisted.

We shudder to think about it, but hopefully the worst is over. Thank you for the many good wishes, thoughts, and prayers. And our apologies to every male reader who won't be able to uncross their legs all day after reading the description of that surgery.

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Wednesday, May 19, 2021

Daze of Our Lives

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We're treating ourselves to a day off today (and quite possibly Friday) to take a little restorative break.  And by "restorative break," we mean freeing up extra time to argue with Medicare and Social Security about their bookkeeping, battling the bureaucracy of the Texas Department of Motor Vehicles, fretting about a twin brother (yes, he exists!) having hopefully minor surgery (think good thoughts about prostates today if you're not already in the habit of doing that), and catching up on various neglected chores.

There's nothing wrong - we're not intimidated by Google's recent "red page" stunt, our health is fine, and if no one cares that the government is now admitting that UFOs are real, unexplainable, and completely impossible for us to control or defend against, well, then we won't worry about it either. Much.

As always, the comments section is wide open to enjoy the remarks of the smartest and funniest community on the Internet!

BONUS: THE TRUTH IS UP THERE

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On a recent talk show, Barack Obama happily and casually announced that, oh yeah, UFOs are absolutely real and we have no idea what they are, how they work, or how to register them as Democrat voters.

But the great thing about making such an announcement on a comedy show is that it's then okay for everyone to treat it as comedy, right? Hey, if Barry, the host, and the laugh track are all happy about visitors whose technology makes us look like banana slugs, how could this possibly be anything worth worrying about?

Monday, May 17, 2021

Green and Bury It

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During a recent hearing, US Special Envoy for Climate (we don't know if there's also a Just Regular Envoy for Climate) John Kerry conceded that there's a tiny little problem with our nation's "Green New Deal" push to import millions of solar panels. And that tiny little problem is that some of those solar panels are manufactured by slaves (Uighurs, though saying that word aloud in the workplace can probably get you fired) in China. The country which, according to recent data, produces more planet-contaminating pollution than every other country on Earth combined

So sending them our money to create more pollution seems counterproductive at the very least. But more troubling is that whole "slave labor" thing, which you'd think would bother those on the Left at least a little. But apparently they're only interested in slavery which happened in the distant past and can be used for current political leverage.

To be fair, the enslaved Uighurs who are making those solar panels at gunpoint shouldn't complain; the non-enslaved Uighurs are being systematically murdered in a sweeping genocide effort by China. Although if their bodies are properly composted, it's likely considered a successful "green initiative" and net win for the Earth by the AOC-Biden administration.

Here's an idea for the Democrats who are currently running the show in Washington: how about immediately implementing policy which prohibits billions of our tax dollars going to support slavery, pollution, and genocide?

Failing that, perhaps John Kerry can escort James Taylor to China to sing "You've Got A Friend" at a Uighur prison camp.

WARNING PAGE UPDATE: NONE SHALL PASS...

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For any who may have missed it (lucky you!) we had some excitement here on Friday. Readers coming to visit Stilton's Place were greeted with a heart-stopping red screen covered with exclamation points and human skulls and the warning that this is a dangerous, deceptive site, run by cyber-savvy terrorists intent on stealing your personal information, your life savings, and better scotch than we usually drink.

The warning came straight from Google and was, not surprisingly, complete and utter BS. Which we tried to make clear in a hastily-written email to everyone on our mailing list (which generated more email replies than we can even respond to, but all of which were read and greatly appreciated).

Further research showed that a lot of conservative blogs were getting the same roadblock, which made it look to be a pretty obvious "big brother" move targeting the Right. But it seems the warning also went up on liberal blogs, cooking blogs, dog grooming blogs, and every other kind of blog hosted on Google's "Blogspot" platform (as this blog is).

So it would appear that someone at Google Central simply flipped the wrong switch...and gave us all an important reminder that a flip of the switch is now all it takes to instantaneously cut off politically incorrect speech. 

For now, the problem seems to have been corrected, but that Sword of Damocles will continue hanging over our head here at Stilton's Place as long as the blog is hosted on Google's blogspot platform (we'll note that if you go to the archival Hope n' Change Cartoons site and/or try to do a content search, you'll get a similar warning that you can safely ignore). We'll be looking into alternatives.

But taking a glass-half-full approach (and trust us, ours usually is) this was probably a valuable reminder that all of the Hope n' Change and Stilton's Place posts (up through January of this year) can be downloaded in handy and totally free PDF ebook form using the links on this page. Get 'em while you can!

Friday, May 14, 2021

Hard Cyber

BREAKING: MISSION (NOT SUBMISSION) ACCOMPLISHED


We're glad to report that Google (or whoever) has apparently taken down the scary big red warning page that this is somehow a dangerous website, so we can all take a deep breath and get back to our normal business of complaining about the world going to Hell (grin).

Many thanks for the many messages of support, all of which we're reading (and we'll try to respond if we don't get overwhelmed). We now return you to our regularly scheduled problems...

HARD CYBER

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Following the successful cyberattack (thought to be tied to a criminal group called "Darkside") which forced Colonial Pipeline to shut down 5500 miles of pipeline, Joe Biden has taken forceful action to show computer terrorists that the United States won't stand for this. Rather, it will continue to sit on its well-padded rear end.

Oh sure, the attack caused filling stations to run out of gasoline and plunged the stock market into despair, but Biden's response has been to sign an executive order which will create committees that will eventually compile a playbook of suggestions about possible responses to future such attacks. Such as creating larger committees and thicker playbooks, almost certainly at a cost of $2 trillion. 

Were Donald Trump still in the Oval Office, we would likely have seen all of this play out much differently. For starters, the media would have blamed the President personally for the utter failure of cybersecurity measures and then cite the failure as smoking-gun proof of collusion between the Russkis and the White House. Under Biden, the media's response was more measured, largely amounting to a collective "ho-hum, nothing to see here."

We also expect that Trump would have skipped the committee approach and just launched some "beautiful, beautiful Predator drones" which would fire "Hellfire missiles which are, and I've heard this personally from some of our top generals, you'd know their names, the best missiles anywhere," after which, when the clouds of red mist cleared, the computer hackers would look like cans of Spaghetti-Os which exploded violently in a hot car.

Such an action would be a considerable disincentive for those planning future cyberattacks on our nation's infrastructure, although we're sure that any terrorists with a pathological fear of "playbooks" are also reconsidering their career options about now. Or not.

But for now, the Colonial Pipeline crisis has been resolved and gasoline will soon be trickling back to the pumps. And is the crisis over because our laughingly-named intelligence agencies tracked down the miscreants and undid the computer mischief? Nope. It's over because Colonial Pipeline, rather than wait for the Government to act, paid the hackers a $5,000,000 ransom to get the password which would unencrypt the data on their frozen computers.

Which, in fairness, proves that their playbook is working just fine.

From The Cyber-Vault: Joe Byte 'Em

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Wednesday, May 12, 2021

Art For Heart's Sake

When the news bums us out, which is a daily occurrence lately, we like to take solace in the arts. Whether an image created by the sure hand of a painter or the sounds resulting from divine inspiration of a music composer, these are transcendent experiences which briefly but thankfully distract us from the frenetic madness around us.

Which is why we're sharing some of our favorite art with you today. Specifically, movie poster art from Ghana. The small theaters there are forced to paint their own movie posters, often with only a very vague idea what the movie is about or how human anatomy is supposed to work. Still, we'd happily watch ANY of these movies if they gave us half of what the posters promise...





Can't you just feel your stress melting away as you reflect on these images and the theatrical delights they offer? What a balm the "willing suspension of disbelief" can be when applied to entertainment rather than the news and politics.

And to round out today's enthusiastic endorsement of escapism, we'll share a few musical numbers which we swear we actually love and listen to on a regular basis (and you can too)!