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Friday, December 31, 2021

2021: Begin the Begone

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, 2021, New Year, Kathy, cancer, Daughter J, health, hospital, leukemia

Traditions are meant to be broken, which is why I'm going to eschew (gesundheit!) my usual "Year in Review" post about 365 days of disastrous politics in 2021. And they were disastrous, with Joe Biden and his merry band of Constitution-loathing liberty-rapists doing their best to destroy everything we hold dear. But I'll waste no further time reflecting on those mendacious bastards nor the wretched sway-backed horses they rode in on.

Instead, I'll give you the only thing that I really can - which is an "end of year" medical update on the Jarlsberg family.

For starters, we had an interesting day on Thursday. Following her latest round of chemo, Kathy needs to go into the hospital every 2nd or 3rd day to have a blood sample taken, after which she gets a transfusion of blood and platelets as needed - a process which will continue until her body can start making those things itself. When we went in today, Kathy’s blood test presented us with a new first; rather than just having a low platelet count, she had no detectable platelets at all

This is not a good thing for two reasons. The first is that if you do any bleeding, it will quickly become a dangerous or even life-threatening event. The second is that pretty much any damn thing will make you bleed. Flossing, a stubbed toe, too vigorous a sneeze, clenching your butt (seriously, they warn you not to), clapping your hands, etc. Basically, you’re a water balloon in a cactus garden.

This being the case, our oncology contact person told Kathy “you’re not going home today” and “we’re going to wrap you in bubble wrap and keep you in a bed” after which they rolled her off in a wheelchair. Did I mention that just walking is too dangerous? Yeah, just walking is too dangerous.

So Kathy was admitted to the hospital and they soon got an intravenous line into her and, by the time I left, she’d already received one bag of platelets which will hopefully be enough to seal the hole they made in her arm just to put the platelets in. Medicine is funny that way.

Her white blood cell count was also preposterously low, though I give our contact person an “A for effort" in trying to put a good spin on it. While a normal white blood cell count should be between 4.5 and 11, Kathy was told “two days ago you only had a 0.1, but today you’re up to 0.7!” (Cue the sound of a lame New Year's Eve party horn). Put another way, Kathy has no immune system working right now, which is another reason for her to stay someplace clean and soft and surrounded by doctors with no risk of tripping over empty scotch bottles on the floor.

Considering all of this, Kathy’s mood is pretty good. It’s never fun to be in the hospital, let alone when you’ve just been told that it’s because you might not survive a day OUTSIDE the hospital, but at least she wasn’t feeling terrible (nor great, but "not terrible" isn't bad these days).  And unlike most times she’s been checked into the hospital lately, she won’t be getting bags of poison pumped into her. Rather, she’ll just be getting things intended to make her healthier, safer, stronger, and more...um...clotty. 

The goal is still for her to have gall bladder surgery when possible, then hopefully a crucial stem cell transplant when possible. It’s those “when possibles” that are a moving target, but we intend to get there.

Daughter Jarlsberg continues to recover quite nicely from her “giant thing-ectomy.” Yesterday ("a day without a doctor visit is like a day which I can’t even imagine") she had a 2-week follow-up appointment and the doctor was well pleased with how she’s coming along. He also pulled out half the metal staples from her long, long incision and the rest should come out two weeks from now. Or sooner if she doesn't stop picking at them.

Daughter J is still sore, but no longer needs to use a walker to get around. She’s had a backache, though, because her muscles are having to relearn how to balance without that 30-pound weight on her front side - her center of gravity is in a whole new position!

But one way or the other, we’re all staggering toward 2022 as a family, hoping that it will go easier on us than 2021 did. In the meanwhile, best wishes to you and yours and very sincere thanks for your continuing support, good wishes, and prayers!

Holiday tip: after burning your 2021 calendars, don't forget to sow the ground with salt!

58 comments:

Mike aka Proof said...

The hospital will drive you dotty,
injecting things to make you clotty.
Tell the missus we wish her well,
Soon may she leave the hospitell...

HankJ said...

Happy New Year and may 2022 bring your family and you health, wealth, and humor.

Dave said...

An achingly funny, achingly painful post, Stilton. Wishing all of you health, and all good things for the New Year.

Jim Lane said...

We haven't given up hope, Stilt, just as long as YOU don't give up. (And we don't think THAT will happen anytime soon!) Best wishes for a better 2022!

Jee said...

Thank you for the update, funny as always. I was concerned you might have caught that C.Diff thingy. God bless the Jarlsberg family in the new year!

Terri said...

It's amazing how you manage to see humor during such times of stress. Your girls are lucky to have you. Keeping you all in daily prayer.

Dan said...

You're a better man than I am, Gunga Stilt.

May the new year be happy and healing for all of you. God's blessings, as always.

Anonymous said...

2021 has been a pretty rough year for you, & on top you have had to watch President Biden send OUR AMERICA down the river I pray the you & yours have a better 2022. ma

JustaJeepGuy said...


@Stilt, I hope you have not felt the need to follow the Groper in the White House too much this year. I also hope you won't feel the need to follow the Groper in the White House too much in 2022. I also also hope your convalescents get over their issues soon so that you could--if you wanted to--follow the Groper in the White House and his attempts at the destruction of our republic... and hopefully, the failure of those attempts. LET'S GO, BRANDON! FJB!!!

Kent Whitehead said...

My heart hurts for Mrs Stilt and the ordeal she has endured thus far. We will continue to keep her in our prayers. Here's to 2022 being the year when it all returns to normal for your family.

Anonymous said...

I hope 2022 brings good health to your family.

jpb252 said...

Good wishes and may God bless you in 2022.

Bobo the Hobo said...

Joe Biden and his merry band of Constitution-loathing liberty-rapists is the name of my next garage band.

May 2022 bring better medical news to you, the lovely Mrs J, and the new and improved, tumor-free daughter J.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Jarlsberg, you and your clan are in our prayers for a full recovery. When people ask you how things are going, are you tempted to ask them to take a chair and brace themselves.

We are glad to see your sense of humor is still intact - Blessings on you and your family. Happy New Year, such as it is.

Anonymous said...

Best wishes to you and your family in 2022! You have had to go through so much mental and physical stress as a family and you all deserve to get back to a normal life!

Jerryskids said...

I'd just like to add my prayers for a better 2022 for you and yours, and for all of us.

Fred Ciampi said...

You all have prayers coming from our end. Wish we could do more. But we can pray more. Hope 2022 is better for all of us. Amen.

Fish Out of Water said...

To echo the comments of others, I stand in awe at how you (Stilton) are bearing up to the adversity that would crush lesser souls. May 2022 prove to be the a brighter year for you and yours.

@ Bobo the Hobo: Love where you've taken that. You might not have 'won' the internet today, but that is in the top 5.

Happy 2022 to all and Let's Go Brandon!

Snark said...

Continued prayers for better health for Mrs and daughter J (and a modicum of sanity for you!)

Before my near fatal tick bite, I was a regular donor of platelets for cancer patients, though most of the ones I was matched with were kids. If any in the extended Jarlsberg online family have either a Red Cross or medical center that offers pheresis services (and you are medically able) please consider donating. The life you save might be Mrs. J. Or some other desperate person.

Here's a toast for a better New Year! While I'd like to say that it couldn't be worse than 2021, I don't want to offer that as a challenge to the DC swamp weasels. (And why do they call it a "toast" when it's alcohol? Who puts jam on booze?)

Murphy AZ said...

I hate to sound selfish, but along with my prayers for you and yours, I offer up a prayer that God hasn't visited those particular challanges on my family. Your family's courage and perseverance are to be admired.

God bless you all, and may 2022 give you cause to celebrate.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

You need a Spike Jones New Year!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_4BrQeTFKo

Happy New Year to one and all!

Anonymous said...

Stilton.....continued prayers for your wife and family.

Wayne in Indiana

VideomanSS said...

Happy New Year and and praying for a much better 2022...for your family and the USA too!!

Baker52 said...

Man you have had more than your share in 2021, we are all hoping that 2022 will bring fast return to good health for your wife and daughter. Thanks for the frequent updates, you have a lot of friends out here pulling for y'all.

Shelly said...

I, like you, am celebrating the end of the year 2021. Let's hope and pray 2022 is better for you and your family and that Kathy can put that dreadful disease into remission. You are such a role model to me who shows that with perseverance and humor, anything can be accomplished. Here's to a better 2022 for all of us. Happy new year to all the commenters here. I feel like we are a family.

Raz said...

I have no recollection of your vaccine status - I have not had the vaccine, nor my wife - I am 75 - but I wondered if you had or your bride and daughter. I have been reqding and doing my best to research. Just yesterday I read that the CDC will stop using the PCR test as it cannot differentiate between the flu and the CCP Virus. This is now a fact that the CDC will recognize, though these suspicions have been long suspected. I ask the question because of the discovery of how the vaccine has affected many people and even has caused their demise. All of our bosies are different and the long term effects of this Jab is an unknown. I read your post today and I wondered your Jabbing status.
In any case, I wish you and your family much improved health and happiness but mostly a relief from all the disruptions and a return to your normalcy of yesteryear.

Mikey said...

Hang in there Stilt, I think you are doing a tremendous job in the face of overwhelming adversity. I will continue to hope and pray for you and your family. And... continue to take care of yourself. (Deplorable Mikey in FL)

Andrew Smith said...

Barely know you and I'm so grateful for the update. Following along from the other side of the planet.

CAP137 said...

Stilt,
Lots of folks praying for you and your family! Y'all have really been through it. Here's a heartfelt wish for a better new year!!!

Velveeta Processed Cheese Food said...

Good news, and good to hear from you.

I have a hereditary clotting malfunction, know where as severe as what Mrs. J. is experiencing, and believe me, it's no fun. Hope she's past that soon.

MAJMike said...

Damn, what a year for the Jarlsburg clan. We'll continue to pray for recoveries for both your lovely bride and the beloved daughter. Remain hopeful and don't give up. God perform wonders every day.

Chuck said...

Wow. 2021 really did suck for your family. But it sounds like things are tilting toward the good side. Best wishes for Mrs. J and J-Daughter, and we hope that 2022 will be better all around.

And if I had a way to send you a jug of Clan M, I would!

CenTexTim said...

There are many things I never imagined imagined myself saying, but #1 certainly has to be "I hope your wife gets more clotty."

Seriously, best wishes for you and yours in the coming New Year - and beyond.

Stay strong!

KELLY FROM WI said...

Best wishes for a better year, your group is a strong family. I hope everyone is doing better very soon, continued prayers

Ole Scrapper said...

Blogger Mike aka Proof said...
The hospital will drive you dotty,
injecting things to make you clotty.
Tell the missus we wish her well,
Soon may she leave the hospitell... Your family is quite ingenious expressing hope and toasts. I'm in your boat as well. MAP is up to his old tricks in what could be determined as his last puff of 2021. It is our sincere hope, a Biblical hope, that you can find strength to mount this continuing assault on your household and top the summit with a bottle of McGregor and a shout. I myself will be on the watch for swayback saddled up nags seeking more damage to inflict.
Wonder if these ancient wonders have received their vacs? sincere prayer that the side effect will render justice to a class of criminal@#$%^&*(... The best to your family.

TrickyRicky said...

Stilton, I can only imagine how truly awful your family's 2021 has been. Hang in there and we are all hoping and praying the coming year will be better for all of us.

jayjay said...

Wishing you and your loved ones a happy and an especially healthy New Year. Continued prayers for all of you.

Mike said...

Hi Stilt,

Everyone still alive is good! You and your girls are in my prayers, especially Kathy. I hope 2022 is a great improvement over this horrible year for all of us!

Mike

Phil said...

Happy New Year, Stilton! At least you can now breath a sigh of relief regarding your daughter. Hopefully, more positive things are coming your way. Best of luck to your family and God Bless!

John the Econ said...

Again, prayers for Kathy to be home asap. Glad to hear Daughter J is on the mend. May 2021 soon be but a mediocre memory.

The Inukshuk said...

Happy New Year, Mr. Cheese, to you and your family. Remember, 30 years ago all of the medical intervention would have been science fiction.

Ken B said...

We are praying that the next year will be better for you and your family ... in a significant way. Regards, Ken

Igor said...

Happy (Merry) Twenty-twenty too!
May your days get brighter, your loved ones get stronger, and may Real Americans rise up and smite the Marxists among us!

May you have the strength to carry on, Stilt - you are in ALL our prayers. Trust me.

TVAG said...

May the bog of 2021 quickly transition to a firm, grassy path in 2022.

Politically, however bad it may begin, and frightful along the way, I think we can expect the year will end with some SERIOUS changes in the Congress--at least enough to put the Geek-In-Chief (of either gender) in check until replaced by someone who will put America first, again.

But you and yours come FIRST for us, your fans and followers. We are praying, more or less constantly, for Mrs. Stilt to ... well, okay... "get clotty," and climb the rest of the way to full and improved health. That Daughter J is at least half-way to full recovery is proof that Someone is listening to us.

It all puts me in mind of the famous US Army expression, "The difficult we do immediately. The impossible takes a little longer."

HE is working on your miracle as we speak.

Peace and Prosperity, and God Bless Us, Everyone.

TVAG

Anonymous said...

TVAG brought up the Army expression. So true. HE is hearing us all. I used to give platelets and white cells for cancer patients. If only you would tell me where, I would be very proud to see if I still could do that for Kathy. I am 0+. universal donor.
Stay strong. You and your family are not forgotten by all of us and by the good LORD.

Sortahwitte said...

As Sioux and I sip our Welches Sparkling Grape Juide(TM) this evening at about 9PM, We give thanks for answered prayer for the Stilton Clan. The deal is not completed, but hold to the faith that the process is ongoing. You folks are supported and prayed for by a whole bunch of people, most of whom are NOT Batshit Crazy(TM). We love you, Stay warm as the storm heads south. Love and prayers, Glen and Sioux.

Mike Porter said...

Nothing but wishes that you and yours have a better new year.

Larry N Seidenberg-Jones said...

Mr. Stilton, thank you for all of the entertainment you have given all of us and all of the entertainment yet to come. My heartfelt prayers for you and your loving family. May you all have good fortune and good health in the coming year

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- Once again I'm grateful for your support, good wishes, prayers, and occasional punchlines. All are welcome and mean a lot to us. I'm too beat to respond personally to everyone because today was a difficult one and I'm in limp rag mode. But let me try to comment on a few of your messages...

@JustaJeepGuy- Truth be told, I don't ever really see myself getting back to politics in this space. My perspectives have changed and I just don't have the patience to screw with the bastards anymore. It IS my hope that I'll just be able to blog humorously about, well, stuff in general (and not medical updates). If 2022 could be that year, I'll be beyond grateful.

@Snark- I've never donated blood, but at the point my life is vaguely my own again (even sporadically) I intend to give if I'm allowed to and give ALL I'm allowed to. No one receives a bag of blood who doesn't need it and probably needs it desperately. EVERY donation is important and every donor, in my eyes, a hero - or at least a damn good member of society. I just hope my veins can repay a little of what we've received.

@Shelly- I, too, feel like everyone here is family. Group hug, everyone! (And sonofagun if I didn't just get misty saying that)

@Raz- Kathy had two vaccine shots, and daughter J and I each had two plus a booster. I know some people who have almost certainly had bad reactions to the vax (including a good friend who got a horrible case of shingles, which has been noted in some studies), but I don't think they've affected us. Both Kathy's blood condition and my daughter's cyst pre-date Covid. That being said, I'm so pissed off about the way Covid and vaccines have been handled that I'm currently unlikely to get a 4th shot. Enough already!

@Velveeta Processed Cheese Food- Sorry to hear about your clotting disorder! If I can donate platelets, your name is going on the second bag I give!

@TVAG- I think "The impossible takes a little longer" is going to be the phrase I carry with me from this point forward.

@Anonymous- I don't know that it's possible to donate blood products for a specific person, but ANY donation is a miracle waiting to happen for someone. I honestly can't wait to get a chance to donate.

@EVERYONE- Every single comment here means so much to me. Thank you for all you've done for my family in 2021, and my very best wishes to all of you (and us!) for 2022!

Dan said...

Happy New Year!

Unknown said...

I pray for you and your lovely family. May 202 bring peace and much better health to you all. joecrew

Anonymous said...

Continued prayers.
May 2022 be better than 2021. and that applies to all of us.
.
NSF

Velveeta Processed Cheese Food said...

@Stilt Thanks for the offer. Unfortunately platelets aren't the problem in this case.

Nancy Dickerson said...

Oh! Thank you for the update on your beloved wife and daughter. May God grant them healing and give you the peace and agility to continue to be their anchor in love. Will give this update to those who read my blog so that they can continue to pray with focus on your family.

Mr. Bits said...

Happy New Year Jarlsberg family. From ours to you, please accept our thoughts and prayers that your 2022 will see more laughter and fewer tears.

mamafrog said...

Happy New Year, and so very glad to hear of, somewhat, of an improvement for you guys! Many happy returns of that.

Colby Muenster said...

Stilton,

I hope and pray all is going better than expected in the world of health and well being!

I almost hate to delve into politics, but I heard something so shocking today, I just had to share. Joe Biden blames DONALD TRUMP for the "insurrection" that occurred last year on this day! What a shocker! Who'da thunk it!? Didn't see that one coming!

Ed Spellacy said...

You are an amazing individual being able to take all the problems and still have a sense of humour. God bless you and your wife!