Stilton Crazy After All These Years

And a special "thank you" to the makers of Glade air-freshener!

As Mark Twain once famously said, “reports of my death are greatly exaggerated, but I’m starting to wonder if Stilton Jarlsberg is pushing up daisies.” 

Others may have imagined that I had finally taken up involuntary residence in a loony bin - which of course is an outdated and deeply offensive term, now replaced with the more dignified “loony facility.”

Happily, neither of these options is true…though the brochures from the loony facility look pretty darn tempting. The actual truth is that in these weird times, the blog had become just a bit too much for me to handle. 

My last post was in January, commemorating the passing of Scott Adams. I listened to his podcast daily and it was his wit and wisdom that allowed me to have some contact with the news and world events without freaking out (losing Kathy has left me without the ability to cope with much stress).

When Scott Adams died, it largely cut my last umbilical to the outside world and left me untethered. And owing to stringent local leash laws, it turns out that I’m supposed to be tethered at all times and, additionally, not poop on people’s lawns.

But oh, how I’ve missed you! This community has been an important part of my life for a long time and I’d like us to renew our special friendship. So it’s my intent to start posting regularly again, albeit not to talk about the (ahem) “news” which has become so insane that it’s no longer possible to satirize. 

And speaking of insane (he segued deftly), things here on the home front have recently gotten more interesting owing to my recent diagnosis of having autism and ADHD. Mind you, these would be conditions I’ve had my entire life, but weren’t caught (by me, at least) until age 73. This has initiated a lot of introspection about the role these conditions have played in my life, and it can rapidly get pretty overwhelming. It only changes everything.

Moreover, it was long thought that autism and ADHD couldn’t coexist in the same noggin because they’re oppositional conditions: one is overwhelmed by sensory overload, the other seeks novel experiences. One seeks stability, the other seeks entertaining chaos. It’s basically like having a cobra and a mongoose constantly fighting to the death in my brain, unable to agree on anything except that rats make tasty snacks.

Still, I’m the same me I’ve always been, so why quibble over semantics to determine if I’m “quirky” or “certifiable?” Either way, my goal is to again make Stilton’s Place a fun (and safe) place to visit. I hope you’ll again come along for the ride!

My apologies to those of you who lost your bets...

R.I.P. Scott Adams

This one hurts a lot. On Tuesday, it was announced that cartoonist, media analyst, hypnotist, writer, deep thinker, and humorist Scott Adams had succumbed to the cancer he revealed to the public last May. I never met Scott, but he felt like a personal friend. I listened to his podcast (Real Coffee with Scott Adams) every day - and I mean every day; Scott showed up seven days a week and on holidays.

His wry take on the news was incisive, insightful, and surprising. And despite the fact that the news is too frequently awful, he maintained a sense of humor about it all. Scott's podcast was the only thing Kathy and I could listen to when she was in hospice for two nightmarish weeks. Following her loss, Scott's podcast was frequently the only human voice I'd hear in a day. Despite not sugarcoating the news, he was able to maintain hope and optimism and share it with his loyal listeners.

He did the same as he dealt with his cancer, almost never missing a daily podcast. On Monday, his last day on Earth, he was still doing the podcast although he knew, and we knew, that the end was very near. I even grabbed a screenshot of Scott smiling as the podcast wrapped up, just in case it was my last chance to do so. And sadly, it was.

Scott Adams was famously canceled for his "racist remarks," a lie that sadly is being repeated in most of the mainstream media stories about his passing. Scott was as anti-racism as a person could be, but not in the manner that the woke media demanded. And to the confoundment of that media, Adams saw his cancelation as a new opportunity for unfettered creative expression. His daily cartoon strips "Dilbert Reborn" and "Robots Read the News" went way beyond anything he was allowed to get away with in the newspapers. 

The simultaneous sip - the dopamine hit of the day that made everything better

Behind the scenes, Scott shared and popularized his ideas with America's movers and shakers, not the least of whom was Donald Trump. Scott helped bring down DEI and floated the idea of treating drug cartels like the terrorist organizations they are. His influence extended far beyond what most people knew about. 

Scott Adams helped show us how to maximize our lives (I recommend his book "Reframe Your Brain") and in his final days showed us how to face mortality without fear. He was, and is, a hero of mine and the world is going to be more quiet and much more stupid without him.

Carol of the Belle

Another weird year has come and (nearly) gone. And looking at all the colorful lights in the neighborhood (including in front of stately Jarlsberg Manor) and my recently finished gig as Santa Claus, it certainly seems to be Christmas. I hope that eventually daughter Jarlsberg and I can really feel it again, but it hasn't happened yet. Kathy made the magic, and holidays are very hard for us. So we mostly keep our heads down and hold our breath until it's safe for us to come out of emotional hiding.

That being said, the power and importance of Christmas have been very much on my mind lately because of its meaning for so many of my family members and friends (if you're reading these comments, you're in both categories). Which is why I was recently moved (inspired?) to begin work on an album of serious Christmas songs using Suno AI and some creative ideas on my part. I got too late a start to distribute the music this year, but next year it will be available through streaming services.

The music (Christmas standards all, although I hope to write one or more original songs from scratch) will be credited to a virtual artist named Vala, a Nordic songstress and multi-instrumentalist whose contemporary folk-rock music combines the fire and ice of the northernmost climes and cultures. At least in my imagination and, I hope, in the imaginations of others. 

Here's what the album might look like eventually...

...and here's a sample of the music which I hope you will enjoy...

I want to wish you and yours a very merry and meaningful Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, or the best possible outcome of your personal pursuit of peace on Earth and good will toward men.

- Stilton

PS: Just in case you were in the mood for something funnier, check out another Youtube video of mine in which a classic Christmas song is performed by drunken pirates. I'm not sure why no one else has pursued this niche before...