Post Toasted

 

A funny thing happened on the way to the lighthearted, carefree post I'd intended for Monday. I had planned to share the fact that I've really been enjoying creating songs with the help of artificial intelligence. Many of them are funny, others are traditional songs, and a few are serious and soul-baring.

I'm fully aware of, and have some sympathy for, the people who are having conniption fits about AI music, pointing out that in the Terminator movie series, Skynet's first attack on humanity was the creation of the brain-devouring song "Baby Shark - doo doo doot doo doota doo doo." It's a song that literally gets deep into your brain and then says "I'll be back."

But personally I feel okay with using AI to assist me in music creation (Suno being my app of choice). I claim this right because in my colorful past, I have been a professional audio producer, I have fronted two bands live on stage, I have written actual songs for decades, I was nominated for a Grammy (that's the award with the sweet little old toothless lady on a pedestal), I'm a paid member of BMI with a lot of registered works, and my songs have been performed live in concerts (by famous artists). All of which is my way of saying that I've paid my dues, so all you whippersnappers who want to bitch about it can just get off my virtual lawn!

So for Monday, I'd planned to share a funny rock anthem with you (and I still will, soon) but it seems I can't just post audio on the blog. So I'd have to post a link to a video of the song. Meaning I had to make a video (with time running out). I took a darn good stab at it, but a number of technical snafus were complicating the process, and then there was another snafu and... my brain exploded, with shards expelled so forcefully that there were reports of skull fragments plunking into Lake America and The Gulf of America. Not to mention in between those two, where there was...America.

The explosion was mostly, but not completely, metaphorical. Because thanks to my recent twin diagnoses of autism and ADHD I know that I was having an autistic meltdown. The mental system overheats, the gears lock up, and the sufferer can basically do nothing until, with the glacial passing of time, the brain has cooled enough to try jumpstarting again.

And yes, all of this is weird as hell for an almost 74-year old. Mind you, there's no question that the diagnoses are accurate, as the clues have always been screamingly obvious. And yet...nobody around me knew. Kathy didn't know. And I didn't know. 

So getting the official diagnosis seems like it should be no big deal, because it's simply labeling a cluster of traits that you've had since childhood. You can't catch this stuff - it's baked in at the factory. A factory that apparently has pretty liberal policies about employees using drugs on the job.

But the reality is that getting the diagnosis IS a big deal. A very big deal. Because those of us with ADHD overthink everything. It is, in fact, our only way of thinking and it's not in our power to stop it or slow it down without medical intervention or a big cartoon mallet. And so we review our entire lives through this odd new filter, understanding things which were never clear before. And getting into serious questions about our own identities. Did I make the choices in my life, or were those made by my brain gremlins?

It's all exhausting and, no doubt for you, pretty boring.  Oh, there is humor to be had in this odd new state of affairs and we'll be having it right here. But for now, I just wanted to explain how my short-term brain blowout derailed Monday's intended post.

Stilton Crazy After All These Years

And a special "thank you" to the makers of Glade air-freshener!

As Mark Twain once famously said, “reports of my death are greatly exaggerated, but I’m starting to wonder if Stilton Jarlsberg is pushing up daisies.” 

Others may have imagined that I had finally taken up involuntary residence in a loony bin - which of course is an outdated and deeply offensive term, now replaced with the more dignified “loony facility.”

Happily, neither of these options is true…though the brochures from the loony facility look pretty darn tempting. The actual truth is that in these weird times, the blog had become just a bit too much for me to handle. 

My last post was in January, commemorating the passing of Scott Adams. I listened to his podcast daily and it was his wit and wisdom that allowed me to have some contact with the news and world events without freaking out (losing Kathy has left me without the ability to cope with much stress).

When Scott Adams died, it largely cut my last umbilical to the outside world and left me untethered. And owing to stringent local leash laws, it turns out that I’m supposed to be tethered at all times and, additionally, not poop on people’s lawns.

But oh, how I’ve missed you! This community has been an important part of my life for a long time and I’d like us to renew our special friendship. So it’s my intent to start posting regularly again, albeit not to talk about the (ahem) “news” which has become so insane that it’s no longer possible to satirize. 

And speaking of insane (he segued deftly), things here on the home front have recently gotten more interesting owing to my recent diagnosis of having autism and ADHD. Mind you, these would be conditions I’ve had my entire life, but weren’t caught (by me, at least) until age 73. This has initiated a lot of introspection about the role these conditions have played in my life, and it can rapidly get pretty overwhelming. It only changes everything.

Moreover, it was long thought that autism and ADHD couldn’t coexist in the same noggin because they’re oppositional conditions: one is overwhelmed by sensory overload, the other seeks novel experiences. One seeks stability, the other seeks entertaining chaos. It’s basically like having a cobra and a mongoose constantly fighting to the death in my brain, unable to agree on anything except that rats make tasty snacks.

Still, I’m the same me I’ve always been, so why quibble over semantics to determine if I’m “quirky” or “certifiable?” Either way, my goal is to again make Stilton’s Place a fun (and safe) place to visit. I hope you’ll again come along for the ride!

My apologies to those of you who lost your bets...

R.I.P. Scott Adams

This one hurts a lot. On Tuesday, it was announced that cartoonist, media analyst, hypnotist, writer, deep thinker, and humorist Scott Adams had succumbed to the cancer he revealed to the public last May. I never met Scott, but he felt like a personal friend. I listened to his podcast (Real Coffee with Scott Adams) every day - and I mean every day; Scott showed up seven days a week and on holidays.

His wry take on the news was incisive, insightful, and surprising. And despite the fact that the news is too frequently awful, he maintained a sense of humor about it all. Scott's podcast was the only thing Kathy and I could listen to when she was in hospice for two nightmarish weeks. Following her loss, Scott's podcast was frequently the only human voice I'd hear in a day. Despite not sugarcoating the news, he was able to maintain hope and optimism and share it with his loyal listeners.

He did the same as he dealt with his cancer, almost never missing a daily podcast. On Monday, his last day on Earth, he was still doing the podcast although he knew, and we knew, that the end was very near. I even grabbed a screenshot of Scott smiling as the podcast wrapped up, just in case it was my last chance to do so. And sadly, it was.

Scott Adams was famously canceled for his "racist remarks," a lie that sadly is being repeated in most of the mainstream media stories about his passing. Scott was as anti-racism as a person could be, but not in the manner that the woke media demanded. And to the confoundment of that media, Adams saw his cancelation as a new opportunity for unfettered creative expression. His daily cartoon strips "Dilbert Reborn" and "Robots Read the News" went way beyond anything he was allowed to get away with in the newspapers. 

The simultaneous sip - the dopamine hit of the day that made everything better

Behind the scenes, Scott shared and popularized his ideas with America's movers and shakers, not the least of whom was Donald Trump. Scott helped bring down DEI and floated the idea of treating drug cartels like the terrorist organizations they are. His influence extended far beyond what most people knew about. 

Scott Adams helped show us how to maximize our lives (I recommend his book "Reframe Your Brain") and in his final days showed us how to face mortality without fear. He was, and is, a hero of mine and the world is going to be more quiet and much more stupid without him.