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Friday, June 30, 2023

A Fool And His Money Are Soon Departed

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According to news reports, "presumed human remains" from the imploded Titan submersible have been brought to the surface, where they will presumably be examined by people who are expert in unwinding jelly rolls.

This made me wonder if there's actually an exclusive travel agency for billionaires that helps arrange idiotic, life-threatening adventures that allow the wealthy to die in spectacular ways that envious paupers just can't afford. How about volcano surfing on allegedly heat-resistant surfboards? A grizzly bear tickling trek? Year-round inside-and-out tanning opportunities at the Chernobyl reactor? Or maybe hang-gliding into an F5 tornado would be a fun way to drop a few hundred thousand dollars and perhaps visit the land of Oz.

These are apparently the deadly perils of having too much money. Perils that you and I are safe from thanks to Bidenomics.

DEAL OF THE CENSURE-Y

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, adam schiff, censure, shitweasel

It's an old cartoon but once again timely, thanks to the news that Adam Schiff has recently been "censured" for being a lying load of excrement who has cost our country millions of dollars, done irreparable damage, and was instrumental in a successful presidential coup. Still, all of that has been made right thanks to the hard justice of "censure," right? A punishment so severe that there are no repercussions whatsoever and Schiff has declared it to be a "badge of honor."

Which makes me think that we're overdue to update the nature of censure. As a purely rhetorical example, after reviewing Schiff's misdeeds a jury of his peers might declare, "we've arrived at a unanimous decision and censure ass to a firing squad."

A ROGUE IS A ROGUE IS A ROGUE

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It has recently been discovered that the smoke choking many American cities is not, after all, coming from Canadian wildfires but is in fact just the residual off-gassing from all of the smoking gun evidence of Biden family corruption that the FBI and DOJ are trying to contain.

Still, the occasional Biden story manages to find its way to the press, including the recent item that Hunter Biden has successfully slashed the child support payments going to the daughter he had with a stripper, and the child will only get that money on the condition that she not take the name "Biden."

Hunter was able to cut his payments (from $20,000 to $5,000) based on his claims of financial hardship. Mind you, this is a guy who snorts Kool-aid powder, blows his nose on a canvas, and sells the result for $250,000 to foreign "art collectors" who have no interest whatsoever in influencing Joe Biden's policies. 

Still, I'm rather glad that his little girl won't be burdened with the name "Biden" going forward.  It's tough enough to be the daughter of a stripper without also being labeled as a descendant of a family of political whores.

Wednesday, June 14, 2023

Room For Rant

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, wise man, mountaintop, Trump, Biden, Bribe, Laptop, UFOs, Wuhan, Fauci

Even though I'm doing my best to avoid the news these days, enough of it still seeps in to annoy me. Which is why today I feel like venting. Fair warning: I may have stories completely wrong because I don't really bother to read them. I do this both to preserve what little mental health I have and also because why the heck would I believe anything the (ahem) "news" media is reporting these days? So the following topics simply reflect my ill-informed opinions which are still more likely to be right than anything else out there. Hey, it's my snug-fitting mountaintop so I get to make the rules!

TRUMP INDICTMENT - Complete BS and yet another crime against civilization in general and our nation in particular. Did Trump have a bunch of documents in boxes in a bathroom? Sure seems like it. Do I care? No. Should ANYone care? Again, no.

News outlets are having a lot of fun noting that Trump stored records in a bathroom, apparently forgetting that Hillary Clinton kept her illegal private server in the crapper too. And it's worth noting that foreign agents can't hack paper documents, but can (and surely did) hack Hillary's computer. And the Justice Department didn't care. Nor did they care about Hillary and her minions smashing phones with hammers or erasing computer files with Bleachbit software to prevent damaging evidence from being collected.

Another angle I've been thinking about is this: Trump is being charged with obstruction for not handing these documents over to law enforcement agencies right away...but who was it who waged the campaign of lies against Trump and rigged the last election by concealing Hunter Biden's laptop? The same law enforcement agencies. In my mind, handing classified documents to these enemies of the state would be a helluva lot worse than having Trump keep an eye on them while dropping a deuce at Mar a Lago.

BIDEN BRIBERY - So the FBI finally had to cough up a document they'd been hiding (!) that shows Joe Biden took a $5 million bribe from Ukraine while serving as vice-president. Which was one helluva good deal for Ukraine, because after that they owned Joe's corrupt withered ass. Which is why Joe has been so goldarn helpful about giving billions in blackmail payments (my money and yours, by the way) to theoretically bolster Ukraine's war efforts. Where the money is really going, nobody knows.

As a bonus, we've been dragged into a proxy war against Vladimir Putin that could go nuclear at any time. And it was purely the corruption of the Bidens and their Deep State enablers that has put us here.

(UPDATE: As promised, I've displayed some ignorance here that should be corrected. The person on the Burisma board who allegedly bribed Biden is thought to be a Russian agent. Although it's possible that Ukraine's Zelensky found out about the dirty dealing and has subsequently used that knowledge to blackmail Biden for additional support. Or not - what the hell do I know?)

WUHAN BIO-WEAPONS PROGRAM - It sounds like there's more evidence coming out that the Wuhan Virus Lab really was working on turning Covid 19 into a bioweapon for the Chinese military when it slipped out one of the lab's screen doors and killed 10 million innocent people, incapacitated many more, and brought the world to a halt for two years. 

And who was helping to fund that research? You were. And I was. Because Anthony Fauci was sending our tax money over there - and lying about it - in order to give regular old bat virus new superpowers. And no one appears to be doing anything about any of this. No reparations from China. No punishment for the mass murderers. No apologies for the lies and destruction of our liberties.

 Quite the contrary; Fauci is getting the highest government pension anyone has ever gotten from our increasingly stupid country. Personally, I would like to see Dr. Fauci receive a completely fair trial for crimes against humanity, after which his head should be displayed on a completely fair pike.

UFOs/UAPs - Personally, I believe we've got UFOs from "not around here" galloping happily across our skies and that they've been here a long time. I know people who've seen things. I know people who know things. But what I can't believe is that the government - or whatever body is a lot higher than the government - will let this information come out if they can stop it.

For now, I'm closely watching the whistleblower who is carefully trying to get information about all of this into the hands of the congressional investigatory body that has been charged with getting the real truth about UFO/UAPs without getting access to classified files and programs.

My best guess is that any aliens don't find us especially interesting or useful. If they have been here for a long time, they haven't bothered to blow up the Earth, disintegrate our cities (although Democrats have had a lot of success doing that), or eat us. Perhaps it's only our hubris as a species that makes us think aliens would even want to communicate with us. And maybe that realization could be a helpful reset to all the idiocy and division we've managed to create for ourselves. 

If nothing else, maybe Aliens could bring us the much-needed gift of humility.

Friday, June 9, 2023

Vine Marches On

 Not long ago I shared a selection of items from Amazon Vine - an Amazon service that lets chosen members select free items in return for an honest Amazon review. Most of those items are pretty nice, but some of them just make you stop and scratch your head, wondering "what the hell was the inventor thinking?" 

And so, for some light Friday entertainment, here is yet another collection of oddball items only some of which I genuinely want...  



ROSES ARE RED...

...Violets are blue, I have no idea, what the heck these other flowers are. But aren't they nice? I promised Kathy that I'd take care of her gardens and landscaping as well as I could, and so far things are coming along nicely. However, this Spring I introduced a random element by buying a few packages of wildflower seeds from the Dollar Store (where things are now $1.25 - THANKS, Biden) and casting them about. Surprisingly, there are now flowers appearing on their gangly weed-looking stalks which makes me feel like I have quite the green thumb!

Monday, June 5, 2023

Drawing A Punchline In The Sand

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And the hourglass will be sent to Sand Quentin

Will any of us ever forget exactly where we were when we heard the news that Joe Biden, the most beloved president in history, had been attacked by a rogue sandbag that caused him to take a spectacular and potentially lethal pratfall? And the answer is...yes. Most of us will forget, including Joe Biden himself who, only hours later, knocked the bejeezus out of his forehead when exiting a helicopter after mistakenly assuming that the door's height, like the debt ceiling, was an imaginary limit.

To prevent incidents like these from happening in the future, the president's Secret Service detail is receiving additional training to assure that all agents are prepared to throw themselves on any shuffle-disrupting obstacles in the president's path and that when Mr. Biden approaches a low doorway the agents will shout something other than "duck!" since that always causes him to look upward and ask "where?"

The president is now also reconsidering his support of Pride Month, pointing out that "pride goeth before a fall" and that a fall can be especially dangerous "if you go ass-over-teakettle in front of a pride of lions." 

In related news, the sandbag is currently standing at #2 in GOP presidential candidate polls and is considered to be the candidate most likely to decisively beat Joe Biden in a debate.