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Monday, February 12, 2018

One Rink To Rule Them All

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, winter olympics, busty ross, figure skating

As you're likely aware, America (and Americans) won a Winter Olympics gold medal when our own Busty Ross recently took to the ice in South Korea!

Judges in the figure skating event were initially uncertain about Busty's bold choice of music for her routine ("America, F*ck Yeah" from the movie "Team America") but were eventually won over by the fact that when it comes to figure skating, well, nobody else has a figure like Busty's.

Following her overwhelming win, Busty declared "this gold medal is not for me. It's for the people of America, for our brave men and women in the military, and especially for my friends back at Stilton's Place, without whose support I could never have come this far."

Charming humility from a woman who deserves the thanks of a grateful nation.

BONUS: MARCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, trump, military parade, north korea

Last week, President Trump instructed his staff to prepare plans for a huge military parade which pretty much everyone thinks is a terrible idea.

And granted, spending untold millions of dollars to roll tanks and missiles down our city streets seems like a poor use of resources and a highly questionable public relations move.

But what if we could find ways to make such a parade more enjoyable?

Along with displays of jets, tanks, killer drones, and nuclear missiles, what if the parade included giant, comical helium balloons of Kim Jung Un, Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton, Vladimir Putin, and other characters from popular journalistic fiction?

A Congressional float from which elected representatives tossed money to the crowds would surely play well, and not differ significantly from what those representatives would be doing otherwise.

In the interest of equal time, Democrats should be able to provide some floats showing off their accomplishments...assuming anyone wants to see a pajama boy float, a waving group of illegal aliens, brightly-painted gender-confused individuals with feathers and sequins adorning their genitals, a gigantic dumpster containing a year's worth of tiny corpses from Planned Parenthood, and of course a covey of black Americans being led down the street wearing the chains of the Democrat plantation.

We also think the public might enjoy the spectacle of a herd of GOP elephants marching at the rear of the parade - followed by mainstream "journalists" with shovels and garbage cans to clean up the droppings.

Failing all of that, we suggest that the funds for the parade be put entirely into reforms at our Veterans' hospitals...and let the actual parade consist entirely of those bureaucrats who have failed our wounded warriors as they're marched off to jail.

AND FINALLY...
stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, stock market, correction, crash

Please, please, please let us see some market recovery this week.

35 comments:

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Well, ya made up for Friday! Yay, Busty! <3

Griz Alaska said...

Busty wins the gold, and all of Americans hearts!

Take care, be safe.
God bless.
Griz - Alaska

Bobo the Hobo said...

Am I the only one who thinks all this talk about a parade is diversionary tactics from the crazy antics of the stock market? That said, yay, Busty Ross! What a gal!

TrickyRicky said...

Busty's appearance in the Olympics makes me wish we emulated the ancient Greeks, who competed sans clothing. Which is a perfect segue into my hope that I'm not walking around in a barrel after this weeks trading in the markets.

Fred Ciampi said...

How 'bout a military parade made up entirely of patriotic veterans in full civilian battle gear? And we, I mean, they provide all of their own expenses. That might make the libs and all think twice about what they are doing........ Just a happy thought.

Geoff King said...

I never have cared to watch the Winter Olympics. A celebration of snow, ice, and frigid temperatures is not my idea of a good time. That said, I was at a friend's house yesterday and was subjected to watching the Curling competition. Other than appearing to be a game of shuffleboard on steroids, my knowledge of the sport was greatly lacking, so I read the Wikipedia article on it.
I learned more about Curling than I ever hoped for or wanted to. I now know that it was invented by the Scots, the same people that brought us that other highly boring spectator sport - Golf; The granite stones, sometimes cleverly referred to as "rocks" come primarily from one small island off the coast of Scotland; and the sport is now dominated by those forced winter recreation enthusiasts - the Canadians.
Military Parades: other than victory parades at the end of a war, they only serve to show a nation's strength. That is something I believe the world does not need to be reminded of in the case of our great armed forces. Besides, for reasons of secrecy, the military's cutting edge technology will never be displayed. Instead, it will consist of 30 year old M1 Abrams tanks and other antiquated hardware. At least it probably won't contain plastic ak-47 rifles and cardboard missiles like Kim Jong Un is accused of showing the world in his parades.

jpb252 said...

Seeing as how this coming Veterans Day is the 100th anniversary of the Armistice that ended WW I, it would be an appropriate time to have a parade to honor veterans. It would be especially cool to have some soldiers dressed in WW I uniforms.

Fish Out of Water said...

Speaking of the Olympics, and to the point the black rotary dial phone media aka "Mainstream" media's fawning over arguably the most venal and base governments on the planet. Perhaps fodder for a coming edition of Stilton's Place?

McChuck said...

I humbly suggest that a massive military parade is just what this country needs now. We just issue live rounds to all the troops involved. We start the parade in San Francisco on Independence day, and slowly make our way south, ending at the Mexican border on Veteran's day.

#Make America American Again!

Mark Matis said...

I would posit that a military "parade" which was conducted with A-10s and Apache and Viper attack helicopters firing live weapons at the traitors in DC might prove VERY popular (although not in DC) and would even give the best "bang for the buck" by taking out a significant portion of the evil in this country. And quite frankly, with DC what it has been for YEARS now, there is little chance for any truly "collateral damage"...

Section147 said...

Just attach mooring lines around the necks of Batshit Crazy Nance and Evil Aunt Bea. Each possesses enough demonic hot air to float freely through the streets of DC. Bonus? If they happen to expire while in flight, we’ve saved ourselves the cost of two very long trials and incarcerations. As for Busty? Always the same story; “Hon...you OK? You’ve been in there for a long time!”

John Canfield said...

I'm a Vietnam vet and I think a military parade is a terrific idea. It's great to have a president that actually loves his country and appreciates the military and law enforcement.

Rod said...

If this is so, I'm hoping "prepare plans" for the parade is just more hyperbole from Trump. The guy is indeed an odd one.

As for Olympics: (a) I'm always fascinated by the skill, artistry and good sportsmanship. (b) Kind of surprised with Olympic stadium being nearly a "pop-up, take-down" design with only four planned uses; the rest of the venues seem to be first class. (c)The weather there has been tough (d) It did not take long to recall: I wonder how NBC even gets the broadcast rights for the Olympics. I miss the ABC style and Jim McKay. (e) The lighted drone aerial display was amazing.

James Daily said...

Although I am not a fan of Winter Olympics, I have to watch it because the wife loves those cold sports. She is a sports nut for watching sports. I do not mind at all. Now on the military parade, I'm thinking this is a ploy by President Trump to yank the democrat chain since they would not be able to hold their own military parade. Well, I guess they could march the transgender, whatever to hell that is, the gays and lisbos and other weird folks down Poke street or something. I kind of befuddled with the kissy face between N & S Korea. Ah, well back to my nap. Busty Ross is outstanding. Oh, on the deteriorating market: Might you be a victim of pump and dump?

Liberty Card said...

How come those congress - people who used tax money to pay off the women they sexually harassed aren't in jail?

Judi King said...

My take on a military parade is Trump making a show of force to certain parts of the world. I say ....go for it. Brilliant!

Dan said...

I love a parade, but prefer the Mummers' parade in Philly.

I was on temporary duty at Fort Huachuca in Arizona in the summer of '91 after coming back from Desert Storm.

The powers that be decided it would be nice to have a parade honoring the Desert Shield/Desert Storm veterans stationed there (gladly, that exempted me) downtown in Sierra Vista.

Rumor had it that those to be honored had their leaves and passes cancelled so they could be honored by being in the parade.

Ahh, the Army. Loved it then, still do, but like Camelot, 'tis a silly place.

Don in Oregon said...

But first the Congressional float would pass in front a grandstand filled with lobbyists, who toss money to the politicians!

rickn8or said...

Like Dan said. There's nothing quite like combining a full-dress inspection with several miles of marching.

John the Econ said...

Mrs. Econ & I love the Winter Olympics, but couldn't care less about figure skating. There was considerable angst Saturday night when during prime time, the downhill was canceled due to high winds only to be replaced by more figure skating. Fortunately, we find curling more interesting than figure skating, which was available via streaming online.

But I certainly would have tuned in for Busty.

And Busty certainly would have provided a pleasant and poignant contrast to the pandering coverage by NBC (Nothing But Communism) which while simultaneously reminding us that the Olympics are about transcending politics, to them it is also nothing but politics. The pandering to North Korea was surreal.

This is especially galling considering that there is no more stark contrast on this planet of the difference between communism and capitalism, or an oppressive state vs freedom than there is just a few miles north of the games at the 38th parallel. North Korea is a place so oppressed and loathsome that with the exception of Dennis Rodman, even our most left-wing celebrities won't go there. Bernie Sanders would not consider it as a destination for a second honeymoon. And yet it's a place that represents communism at level so refined that even the Soviets failed to get that far.

And yet the media couldn't fawn enough over Kim Yo-Jong, sister to totalitarian nutcase Kim Jong Un:

“If diplomatic dance were an event at the Winter Olympics, Kim Jong Un’s younger sister would be favored to win gold.”

< insert barf emoji here >

She's kinda the North Korean Ivanka.

Perhaps the media's adulation for her is due to the fact that she's the Director of the Propaganda and Agitation Department of the Workers Party of Korea. So maybe their adulation for her is because they see her as a colleague. There's no doubt that they're all in the same business.

And the North Korean cheerleaders are cute. At least they are until you consider that they are literally slaves, and risk prison and/or worse should they do anything outside of the official state script.

But remember: Trump is the bad man in this narrative because he sends mean tweets. The Norks just wanna be friends with the unfairly prosperous southerners.

Trump's Parade: Seems dumb to me. I agree with the cartoon; Any military parades we conduct ought to be in places that could use what used to be known as "American values".

I think his parade is just another distraction for Democrats to lampoon while he works on what he wants to.

"A Congressional float from which elected representatives tossed money to the crowds would surely play well, and not differ significantly from what those representatives would be doing otherwise."

Which is kinda what happened in the Senate last week.

Market: Up this morning. Give it time.

PvtCharlieSlate said...

When I was in the Army I was in two down-Main-Street parades: once in AIT and once while on duty station before going to Nam. Ruined a perfectly good holiday both times.

Colby Muenster said...

Mrs. Muenster and I both enjoy the Winter Olympics a good bit, but hearing the Nothing But Communism network fawn over the Norks and that gay skater who hates Trump and Pence is in, to say the least, extremely poor taste. Jim McKay would be appalled, as am I.

And how come the Libtards are having aneurisms over a possible military parade in the US, but are simultaneously getting the vapors over North Korea, who regularly have military parades?

Do the lefties actually think South Korea is going to embrace North Korea and unify? What's in it for them? They have freedom and a thriving economy. Makes perfect sense to merge with a country of starving masses and zero infrastructure, right? Anybody with a lick of sense knows that Kim Jong Un's idea of a unified Korea is waaaaaay different than what the free people of South Korea would envision. Sas truth is, the only way there will be one Korea is if somebody with balls turns Kim and his followers into pink mist, then hands the keys to the kingdom to South Korea.

Pete (Detroit) said...

Yay, Busty!
Yay, Market!
Yay Trump, at the Very LEAST totally trolling the Leftards, giving them a fit at the CONCEPT of a 'Military Parade'...
Tell you what, Mr President... you tell us where and when to show up, and those of us ready to shoot our reprehensitives (Heh - bonus, mine are all Dem) and Stinkinators will gladly arrive, on our own dime, with enough personal hardware to overthrow a small nation.
Or, perhaps, put the fear of the people int the ruling class of a large one...

Just a thought...

Sortahwitte said...

Busty. You are still the classy lady even if you have to ice skate on water. USA! USA! USA!
Hubba Hubba. That's what us old guys say. How about Wowza? Yep, still in the past.

Shelly said...

Trump merely throws red meat to the rabid dogs and they bite as expected. So predictable. I'm hating the love affair our commie press is having with North Korea. It's disgusting and yet also predictable. I loved the 17 year old kid winning the gold in whatever that sport was called. Some form of snowboarding. And of course, I love the figure skating.

I, too, am suffering extreme angst over the stock market drop but it is coming up and will rebound. My financial advisor told me my holdings were only down 1.5% due to the drop which is much less percentage than the drop itself. Last year my return was almost 16% so I'm still in the black.

JustaJeepGuy said...

@Geoff King,

I was afraid the Pom Mini website was going to turn out to be a waste of time until I saw that they don't sell only 1-noozle gas pumps, but also 2-noozle pumps.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- Once again I've fallen behind in keeping up with all of you, though I've read and enjoyed all the comments above. Let me issue one clarification: my opposition to a military parade is DEFINITELY not because I'm against honoring our military. Quite the contrary! I'm just afraid that the theatrics of a parade might give more dominance to firepower and machinery than our men and women in uniform.

But here's an idea: how about letting our military people fill the reviewing stands, and let the parade be Americans showing many creative ways of saying "thank you." Now THAT I could get behind.

And hooray for the market uptick today! It may not last, but it was refreshing just to be out of free fall for a day!

rickn8or said...

I wonder what would happen if there were a military parade and antifa and BLM showed up, with the police doing their usual "see no evil" stunt.

Regnad Kcin said...

Why is it every time investors decide to score profits by selling off some over-rated stocks, the market people wet their collective panties. It's called capitalism, folks ! Get a grip. And, besides, there's nothing wrong with market corrections to bring the mouth breathers back down to earth once in a while. Lastly, let's lay off the Olympic Curling blather. Name another sport where you can take bathroom breaks and refill cocktail (Bushmills)glasses without missing any of the action. Very non-disruptive viewing. Name another sport that has calendars as cool as The Women of Curling 2018. It'll give you a whole new perspective about playing shuffle board on ice. Trust me.....

cynic said...

Stilt: When I was trading stocks, I used a trailing stop/loss, at 7%, keeping a sharp eye on stocks when a 4-5% loss happened. Used the auto sell feature. When I thought it was bottomed I bought back or not. I traded within a 401K so I had no tax problems.

Dan said...

@Kcin -- I was introduced to Curling when I lived in Canada. (They used full-sized brooms then.) It always looked like a fun sport and the participants should have a lot of warm beverages (including warmed alcoholic ones) or maybe a beer or two on hand for before, during, and after the competition.

The olympics (summer and winter) have become too serious, too formal. Seems to be, when I was a kid, the bobsledders only had to put down their beers and tuck their shirts back in to get ready for competition.

The thrill is gone.

I did a bing search on images for "the women of curling" and was quite happy with the results.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Hey! Remember that discussion we had last week regarding potential manipulation of the stock market, and how it was really not possible? Yeah...

I'll just leave this right here....

Carol Moore said...

All those american soldiers marching through north korea will have survived attacks by mortar shells filled with sarin gas, VX, small pox, anthrax, as they drove narrow roads in valleys of mountains filled with deep tunnels and thousands of North Koreans with thousands of mortars. Not to mention all the radiation they'll absorb from the nukes US military will use to try to collapse those thousands of tunnels all over NoKo. But if we re-up (draft) every military veteran under 50, and half of the youth 19-20 we should be able to send in 800 900 thousand US soldiers and have 50,000 surviving in some sort of condition for the parade. Of course, most will be dead within 5 years from disease and suicide.

David A. Fox said...

My take on the Olympics: If it takes a panel of judges to tell me who won, it ain't a sport ... How about we liven things up by combining figure skating and fencing with sabers? Or gymnastics and kick boxing?

Liberty Card said...

I stopped being a fan of the Olympics when the athletes stopped being amateurs. Think of the 1968 Ice Hockey team, college kids whipped the professionals from Russia. Now, even an all star team of pro basket ball players can't win the gold.