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Friday, March 9, 2018

McDonalds Happy Male

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, mcdonalds, women's day, arches, coffee couple
We don't even want to think about the "special sauce."
Yesterday was International Women's Day, which is a perfectly good thing considering how many countries treat their women like livestock, and their livestock like women (you do not want to be a goat in the middle east).

That being said, we found McDonalds' attempt to honor the day more than a little odd, per the cartoon above. Theoretically, the inverted arches form a "W" for "women," but those of a certain mind set (not necessarily a healthy or wholesome mind set) may see it differently. A perspective only encouraged by McDonalds' newest slogan, "I'm lovin' it." Yeah, we'll bet you are!

Still, we don't want to be spoilsports, so we'll acknowledge that McDonalds deserves at least a little credit for giving women the world over a reassuring pat on their sesame seed buns.

A BAD CASE OF THE DSTs

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, daylight saving time

This weekend it's time again to play the "Spring Forward, Fall Backward" game and change all of your clocks so that, in case you somehow managed to avoid getting gutted by this year's flu season, you can still experience a week's worth of exhaustion, nausea, and malaise.

At least, that's how it hits us - and it doesn't matter if it's Spring or Fall (we honestly don't understand the whole forward/backward thing), we always lose an hour or more of sleep and feel like crud for about three weeks.

Still we're sure our sacrifice is worth it to accomplish whatever the hell Daylight Saving Time is supposed to be accomplishing, like giving kids more light to glare at their school buses, or giving farmers an extra hour to try to wake their roosters, or cutting down on prostitution by turning on the street lights later.

Actually, we're not sure what the logic is behind this mess except to sell more coffee. And frankly, Daylight Saving Time, we don't give a damn.

36 comments:

Mike aka Proof said...

Mayor McCheese and the Hamburglar both self identified as women for the day.

Regnad Kcin said...

I asked a lady friend of mind if she knew why women's feet are shorter than men's feet. She said she didn't know. I replied that it helps them to stand closer to the sink while they do the dishes. I now sleep with one eye open at night.........

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

H'm. WcDonalds? Big Wac? WcRibs?


...Naaaah.

Greywuff said...

“Daylight saving time: Only the government would believe that you could cut a foot off the top of a blanket, sew it to the bottom, and have a longer blanket.” -- Anonymous

Jim Irre said...

"Feel empowered yet?" ROTFLMFAO!

jpb252 said...

No daylight saving time, another reason living in Arizona is sweet.

Dan said...

All Righty!! The clock in my car will be correct again for a few months!

FlyBoy said...

How many men does it take to fix a ladies’ wristwatch?


None, there’s a clock on the stove!

Gee M said...

How many men does it take to open a can of beer? None...it should already be open when she brings it.

(I know one joke which no woman likes and it makes them a bit grumpy, and every man laughs.)

Why does it take a woman longer to have an orgasm?

answer: Who gives a F***?

(Sorry...I'm a guy and I always laugh.)

William Bartlett said...


Popular Mechanics is a(very rare) non political publication and has this to say about daylight saving time. This not about controlling women -they have always been out of control.
https://www.popularmechanics.com/science/environment/a18011/in-defense-of-daylight-saving-time/

Jan Blickenstaff said...

OH No, we are gonna die. That extra hour of sunlight each day adds to manmade global warming.

Geoff King said...

Although most of Arizona ignores DST, the Navajo Rez does observe it because their capital is in New Mexico. The rest of us just wonder if Pacific Time or Mountain Time has caught up with us.

Pete (Detroit) said...

I agree, I saw the inverted M and the first thing *I* thought of was a saggy pair. Dunno if that says more about me, or the women I've dated.
Full agreed on the uselessness of DST.
Dan (and others) the clock on the stove (a 70's vintage 'radar range' w/ built in microwave) requires about 12 full rotations of the knob to re-set for just the one hour. Screw that, it runs fast all winter.
It *is* kind of annoying that w/ all the collaboration b/n the phone and the car that the clock doesn't auto update...

jpb252 said...

@ Geoff King - Although the Navajo Nation extends into three states (Arizona, New Mexico & Utah), the Navajo capital of Window Rock is in Arizona. I believe they put the Arizona portion of the reservation on daylight saving time in order to keep the entire nation on the same time. BTW, the Hopi reservation, which is entirely surrounded by the Navajo Nation does not go on daylight saving time.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

I b'lieve it's Burger King that lets you have it your way. I think they did similar for women's day, too: they tilted the "B" in "Burger" 90° to the right to look like a pair of knockers, too.




OK. I made that up. But they should have...

And I do, with my very core, wish they'd do away with DST. I get tired of being tired cyclically... (And a little hint to PopSci: the sunlight is there in your life no matter what the clock says... Plus, if DST was so perfectly beneficial in forcing more glowing orb time into our lives, why did those scientists in Congress monkey with the dates?)

MAJ Arkay said...

The wonderful thing about retirement is that we pay no attention to DST. We still get up when we get up, and go to bed when we go to bed. The clock time is irrelevant. Only "cat time" is relevant, but this cat is not so food oriented that we have to feed him at a particular time. As long as he can't see silver at the bottom of the bowl, he's happy.

Still, I'd like to see DST die. In a world of flex time, world-wide teleconferences across multiple time zones, etc., pandering to a tiny group of people who still think the 9-5 thing is the only way to work makes zero sense.

John the Econ said...

LOL! Hadn't considered that. I am definitely getting old.

Reminds me of an episode years ago when I walked into our neighborhood mini-mart to pick up a soda for Mrs. Econ. Prominently displayed on the back wall was a giant poster advertising Budweiser of a naked woman laying back on and covered by bottle caps. After purchasing Mrs. Econ's soda, I walked back to and got in the car, looked at her and said "I know I am old now. When I saw that poster, all I could think was 'Gee, that looks awfully uncomfortable'".

Another tiresome victimology day: It's not that I have any problem with combating misogyny. I'm all for that. What I do have a problem with is the places they seem to find it and the other places they choose to ignore it. It's ironic that "women's day" comes immediately after the Oscars, that show where an entire industry of elitist Progressive thought leaders selflessly stop raping each other just long enough to attend their dozen or so awards shows to be an example to those of us who they clearly think are worse than they are. I think Jimmy Kimmel made my point perfectly the other night:

"The world is watching us. We need to set an example, and the truth is if we are successful here, if we can work together to stop sexual harassment in the workplace, if we can do that, women will only have to deal with harassment all the time at every other place they go."

This was said in all seriousness by the former host of something called The Man Show, which featured such enlightening and uplifting example-setting content like women jumping on trampolines in their underwear, or less.

Got it, Jimmy. After that, you get promoted to sermonizer in chief, but people like the rest of us are the problem women face in America. It's so clear now.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Mike aka Proof- Some locations also sold the Adam's McRib.

@Regnad Kcin- She's clearly a science denier.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- You pretty much had me at "Big Wac."

@Greywuff- although if you cut the blanket lengthwise and sew the pieces end-to-end, it will be twice as long...

@Jim Irre- It's fun mocking the Left with their own language!

@jpb252- Smart state!

@Dan- I like your glass half full attitude.

@FlyBoy- Somewhere, a feminist is screaming.

@Gee M- So it's turning into THIS kind of day with the jokes about ladies, huh? I'm sure I don't need to tell anyone the difference between pygmies and a women's track team...

@William Bartlett- Hey, that was a good and interesting article! Apparently there are actual health benefits to Daylight Saving Time derived from spending more time exposed to sunlight. So beginning Monday, we should all be sure to spend more time standing in our yards.

@Jan Blickenstaff- Excellent point! Without Daylight Saving Time, the glaciers wouldn't be melting.

@Geoff King- Probably saves a lot of time resetting your sun dials, too.

@Pete (Detroit)- Until our remodel, we had one of those ancient oven clocks that took about 5 minutes of turning a clickety knob just to get the clock in synch with the rest of the world. Now we have a digital readout, and changing the time is as easy as finding the damn manual.

@jpb252- Confusing but interesting!

@Emmentaler Limburger- D'oh! You're right, it WAS Burger King with the "have it your way" slogan. Well, too late for me to change it now.

And regarding the article, it still seems like the health benefits of that extra hour of sunlight will be partially negated by the extra hour of darkness in the morning.

@MAJ Arkay- I've been fortunate enough to be self-employed for the past several decades, so I haven't used an alarm clock in years. But DST still makes me queasy. Perhaps I'm simply over sensitive.

Rob said...

How many clocks do you actually have to reset? There are just two in my life, the $5 AA powered analog on the wall here & the one in the car.

Good luck with the rest on March after the time change on Sunday!

American Cowboy said...

I read the Popular Mexhanics article.
IMO it was pretty goofy. Among other assertions was this: "Farmers, contrary to the strange and completely false belief that DST was created for them, actually despise it: Their schedules are entirely run by sunlight rather than the clock, and so when everybody else changes their clock, it throws a wrench into their day...The industries that love DST tend to be outdoorsy..."

I am not a farmer, but as a rancher (and YES, there is a difference) I hate DST. My chosen lifestyle's schedule IS run by the sun, not so much the clock. Dunny horse, Heeler dog, and the livestock have never learned to read the time, and I believe it would be a total waste of my time to try and teach them. They also live and work according to the sun. But this is the first time I have been informed that I am not "outdoorsy".

American Cowboy said...

Fat finger syndrome...C instead of X

Gee M said...

@ Don Jarlsberg
Yes, we all should know the difference between those cunning runts and etc...
While on the subject, I passed over a few hundred not OK for International Women's Day statements and sorta jokes...here is a seriously intellectual treatise on a subject presented as doppelganger-ish factoids of commonality.

Things Most Women Will Never Say:
You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.

That was fun, when will all of your friends be over to watch porno again?

The new girl in my office is a stripper, I invited her over for dinner on Friday.

While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.

Bar food again?? Kick ass

I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.

That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to her.

I love hearing stories about your old girlfriends, tell me more.

I like using this new lawn mower so much more than the old one, what a wonderful Valentines day!

Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore.

I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.

Damn! I love it when my pillow smells like your cigars and scotch.

You are so much smarter than my father.

Fritz Brohn said...

MOM spelled upside down is WOW.
Of course, that's how she became a mom in the first place!

Frank said...

Have it your way was Burger King.

Shelly said...

I wonder how much productivity is lost due to the clock switching twice a year? I've never been a big fan. Why do they switch to DST during the months where the days are already longer instead of the dark winter months? The whole thing just makes little sense to me. I grew up without it and did just fine!

MAX Redline said...

DST doesn't matter to me; I grew up with, and have spent most of my life around, animals. And as somebody said further up, they don't do clocks. I suppose that if you do cubicle work and have to attend meetings, clocks are important.

Colby Muenster said...

@M. Mitchell Marmel,
Big Wac is what you get at McClintons when you McDisobey.

@Gee M,
I have the bestest wife in the world. She actually ASKED for a weed whacker one year for her birthday.

DST... I actually like DST because I like to be able to do outdoorsy stuff when I get home from work. I wish they'd leave it that way year 'round, like during the so called oil crisis.

REM1875 said...

The good news is half the clocks in my house will be correct again.......the bad news is I will have continue to promise my wife for six months to set the other clocks to the correct time ....when they will become the correct time again and the other half will be wrong....

Gee M said...

LOL! Thought I'd share...
[Karen Mallard, a Democrat Congressional candidate from Virginia, recorded herself cutting the barrel of her husband’s rifle ( an Evil AR15 )and posted it online — but she was completely oblivious to the fact that not only did she not render it inoperable, she actually committed a felony.]

Seems this self-righteous Demotard not only has her head screwed on backwards on safety of the schools (more regulation of safe, law abiding conservative gun owners, less school security...) she has no idea just what laws are already out there... cutting a gun barrel below 26 inches (SBR, short barreled rifle) is a Federal FELONY. So she did just that on video, showing off her love for the nation's children and her hatred of evil firearms (in this case her hubby's one-of-many firearms), causing law-abiding citizens to report her dumbass to the ATF.
They are investigating the felony committed by said Demotard candidate for the Senate.

Children were not safer after this heinous act of unbridled lawlessness by a Demotard wanna-be savior.

B Martin said...

Standard for a rifle is a minimum of 16 inches for rifle and 18 for shotgun. If at least 26 inches long a "pistol" is no longer considered concealable and as an uncatagorized firearm may have a forward hand grip that sticks out from the direction of the bore. Firearms law... Clear as mud.

Gee M said...


from the
Virginia Firearms Code

Article 6. "Sawed-Off" Shotgun and "Sawed-Off" Rifle Act § 18.2-299. Definitions.
When used in this article:"Sawed-off shotgun"
means any weapon, loaded or unloaded, originally designed as a shoulder weapon, utilizing a self-contained cartridge from which a number of ball shot pellets or projectiles may be fired simultaneously from a smooth or rifled bore by a single function of the firing device and which has a barrel length of less than 18 inches for smooth bore weapons and 16 inches for rifled weapons. Weapons of less than .225 caliber shall not be included.
"Sawed-off rifle"
means a rifle of any caliber, loaded or unloaded, which expels a projectile by action of an explosion of a combustible material and is designed as a shoulder weapon with a barrel or barrels length of less than 16 inches or which has been modified to an overall length of less than 26 inches.
(A. pertains to commission of a crime with described weapon)

B.
Possession or use of a "sawed-off" shotgun or "sawed-off" rifle for any other purpose, except as permitted by this article and official use by those persons permitted possession by § 18.2-303, is a Class 4 felony.

Gee M said...

While the code I read was titled Virginia it had the ATF logo also...I don't know for sure this is a Federal felony but it sure as heck is a Virginia one.

JustaJeepGuy said...

Yes, it is a violation of federal law to make a rifle barrel shorter than 16". It also brings in the "less than 26 inches overall length" criterion. This foolish woman apparently fell for the Demo_Rats' lie that firearms are "completely unregulated" in America.

Why a rifle can be 26" but a shotgun has to be over 28"--with a barrel of 18"--is beyond me.... it's a government rule, so it doesn't have to make sense, I guess.

JustaJeepGuy said...

Or is it that a shotgun has to be over 26" and a rifle over 28"? Now I can't remember, but it's a goofy law either way.

PAOK said...

Bolches yarboclos, Batman!!!

Just move to DST-less Arizona.

MrBeatrixKiddo said...

you notice, on the CNN link, they show a jack-in-the-box ad....