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Monday, May 21, 2018

Ketchup Week

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, ketchup, catsup, catch up, royal wedding
"Honey! I'm gonna need another bottle!"
We're taking the week off to play catch up (and to give you a break from what would otherwise have been a week of health complaints related to getting old and/or random Earwig cartoons).

Of course, if something really exciting happens in the news ("Hillary Arrested - Not Likely To See Daylight Ever Again") we'll jump back into the mix and will notify everyone on the email list that there's fresh non-condiment content here.

Otherwise, we'll see you here next Monday...or in the comments section, which is always open for business as usual!    -Stilton

PS:

We got there early Saturday morning to avoid crowds, then no one else showed up.
Frankly, we don't see why this was supposed to be such a big deal.

47 comments:

Mike aka Proof said...

Royal Welding? Gee. You'd think the paparazzi would have a bead on that!

James Daily said...

That was one of the biggest non events I have ever heard of. What is the point? Is it like they were VIPS? Not here. However, I do get a kick every time I think of Phillip.
Stilt, enjoy what you can of a week off. I will suffer in semi silence. See ya next Monday, so to speak.

Section147 said...

That is THE worst looking sub I think I've ever seen!
What's the guy trying to bury in ketchup...trail bologna and random roof shingles?
Enjoy the week off, Stilt. Feet up...Outer Limits DVDs...and bourbon, LOTS of bourbon.

Regnad Kcin said...

What Fresh Hell kind of sammich is that dipnoid inundating in tomato relish ? Never seen catsup applied to any breaded meat concoction like that. He must be of English persuasion to drown a blimpie in red sauce. Blech !..........

Jason Anyone said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jason Anyone said...

Hell, up until a hear and a half ago, US residents could swear it was as if Oprah was standing on stage going "And you get a royal honeymoon and YOU get a royal honeymoon and..."

We didn't need a wedding or a honeymoon to know were getting royally screwed on a near-daily basis.

Thanks, Blowbama (and swamp)!

And hopefully my last weigh-in on the Oral Anny (it just flows off the tongue when you drop the letters of each name) :-)

https://media.giphy.com/media/3feY4iIRjjpBEPCIfy/giphy.gif

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Mike aka Proof- I guess they were just too darn lazy to show up.

@James Daily- I can honestly say that there was never even a nanosecond when I considered watching the royal wedding. What the hell does "royalty" even mean anymore? I couldn't care less about these people; they're like Kardashians who don't even have the redeeming virtue of knockers.

@Section147- Isn't that a wonderfully awful sandwich?! Some of the meat looked like it could be thick-sliced SPAM, huge rings of raw onion, and of course an ocean of ketchup.

And I will enjoy a little much-needed time off, though I'll skip the "feet up" part...that's when my possessed legs start performing "Lord of the Dance" for an audience of one.

@Regnad Kcin- Hey, I like ketchup and the picture still made me want to toss my cookies. On a related note: Sriracha ketchup is the best ketchup ever. Fact.

@Jason Anyone- Good point; "royally screwed" is as close as Americans need to get to actual monarchy.

Lee The Voice said...

Royal Welding? Gee. I wonder if they need a commercial?

Anonymous said...

Thank-you so much for putting all this nonsense in proper perspective. I had no interest in watching the Royal wedding at all and could still care less about all the attention given to this event. Sad to see the news focus on such fluff.

Dan said...

Didn't this country fight two wars to get *rid* of the crown?

There must be some fascination on the part of a portion of our populace since they tried to invest an aura of royalty on FDR, JFK, and BHO (it's also interesting how they elevated their spouses to demigoddess). Hey, I see a pattern here.

Oh, and Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton, still isn't president.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Royal Welding? Now THAT I would watch!

N-Joy yer break, big guy. We'll just have to figger something else to do while you're getting in some R&R....

John the Econ said...

No, I'm not falling for it. I think it's obvious that you've been targeted by the Mueller investigation for interfering with the coronation of Hillary Clinton and have to lay low for awhile instead of continuing to bless us with free humorous political content. The only question is who is it in this room who is the FBI embed?

Speaking of "inevitable": Maduro won his re-election in Venezuela. It helped considerably that he effectively outlawed his opposition, a move that Democrats here can for the moment only envy. I have no doubt that by 2024 they'll figure out how to do the same here without it backfiring so miserably.

MAJ Arkay said...

I watched the only "royalty" I'm ever interested in: the thoroughbreds running the Preakness. Here's hoping Justify wins the Belmont Stakes for another Triple Crown champ.

Colby Muenster said...

Enjoy your time off, Stilton. An occasional post is most welcome, but do not feel obligated!

I was WAY more interested in that tank thing outside Royal Welding than the wedding between Harry and What's-er-name. Frankly, I was fairly sick of seeing royal wedding shit EVERYWHERE! Who the heck cares?! I can honestly say I don't know one soul who gives a crap, and I know a lot of people. Sheesh....

@John the Econ,
Harf! You used the words "election" and "Venezuela" in the same sentence. That's a bit like using the words "Obama" and "Nobel Peace Prize" in the same sentence. Just doesn't go together. And yes, the Democrats would LOVE to apply the Venezuelan model here, but I wonder who their dictator would be. Hillary will be way too old by the time they get it implemented. I don't think she's their favorite person anymore, but who is?

James Daily said...

Stilt: You almost made it a whole day of staying away, but we knew better. I'm the same way on things I love, just can't help me self. Oh, the tank appears to be a decompression chamber but it probably isn't.

Skip said...

Had to put off my nap til you showed up.

Velveeta Processed Cheese Food said...

I recently heard tell of a high-school exchange student from France who was so impressed with American ketchup that she put it on everything, including ice cream, which is just plain wrong.

Velveeta Processed Cheese Food said...

@Colby Muenster. The dictator would likely be some common thug, much to the surprise of the liberal elites, who would be the first ones up against the wall.

Gumby-damn-it! said...

Royally screwed? Been there, done that for 8 years during the last administration.

valvenator said...

@Velveeta Processed Cheese Food
Isn't ketchup or even the mention of, illegal in France like "nazi" is in Germany?

So true about the dictator thug comment.
History repeats itself, but fools never learn from it.

JustaJeepGuy said...

I am bothered by the thought that any true American would give a rat's a$$ about any "royalty" anywhere. But as was mentioned, the Demo_Rats tried to make their favorite presidents into pseudo-royalty. Sad, if you ask me.

REM1875 said...

" Some of the meat looked like it could be thick-sliced SPAM, huge rings of raw onion, and of course an ocean of ketchup."

Sound good to me !!!

REM1875 said...

Isn't ketchup or even the mention of, illegal in France like "nazi" is in Germany?

If you have tasted what they serve in europe you'd kill some one for calling it Ketchup too......

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- It's Tuesday night and I'm sticking to my resolution not to post anything on Wednesday. But it ain't easy. Still, I'm making good use of the time off (including letting my sleep-deprived brain just take it easy). I'm enjoying all the comments, and I'm still in the loop!

Granny said...

Miss you. It freaked me out to see you on my email list today. You pop up on Mondays, Wednesdays,and Fridays. Did I miss a day? Have I time traveled forward? Please don't frighten me like this. It's Tuesday, all day, now go away and come back next Monday.
Thank you.
Curds & Whey

REM1875 said...

Doc I checked with HR .....you still have vacation time left and even though it medical save your sick leave .........At least the girl named Busty told me she was your HR dept.....

REM1875 said...

Get some rest doc and we'll have ya up and Klog dancing in no time ........ahh wait ....uhhmm......bad choice of words there I guess ....maybe.....sorry .....don't wear wooden Klog shoes to bed till recovered ..... my bad .......I should not post till properly coffeed .....covfefed??? ...
Ahh.....uhhmm...well get well quick.......

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Granny Curds & Whey- Okay, now you're freaking ME out. When my email went out, it was Wednesday (12:05 am central time) not Tuesday. Although if you're up fairly late on the West coast, I suppose it might be Tuesday night when the email arrives. Then again, maybe I'm just unstuck in time like Billy Pilgrim...

@REM1875- You can always trust what Busty says. And actually this isn't a real "get well quick" situation so much as just taking things down a gear while I catch my breath.

@Readers- I'm still having night time activity which I'll call seizures (with no loss of consciousness) for lack of a better word. Each night I shoot video of myself kicking and flailing, then cut together a "highlight reel" in case my doctors ever want it. Also, I add a soundtrack because why the hell not? So far, I've already used "I Could Have Danced All Night," "Jump into the Fire," and "Shakin' All Over." I'll probably next move to Springsteen's "Dancing in the Dark" and Van Halen's "Jump." But after that, I'm not sure - what songs would you suggest?

TrickyRicky said...

Stilton, perhaps the Hokey Pokey, sped up to 78 RPM? In reference to your 23 May email, don't worry about going blind weeking off, just do it until you need glasses, or as in my case lasik, implants and trifocals. :-)

Gee M said...

Try some Postmodern Jukebox...Van Smith doing 'Dancing In The Dark' fer instance.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-Ziw_TwXrM)

If you aren't familiar with PMJ, it's never too late.
Hailey Reinhart's version of Radiohead's "Creep" has upwards of 42 million views.

Anonymous said...

"My Baby Does the Hanky Panky?"

Anonymous said...

"Cool Jerk" by The Capitols?

Anonymous said...

"Land of a Thousand Dances" by Wilson Picket?

Anonymous said...

"Nobody but Me" by the Human Beinz?

Anonymous said...

"The Wah Watusi" by The Orlons?

Anonymous said...

"Keep on Dancing" by Chris Montez? You started me on a roll, Stilt.

valvenator said...

Well there's Van Halen's Dance the Night Away and any version of Dancing in the Streets.
...or a Polka from your buds, Brave Combo.

Mike aka Proof said...

Jerry Lee Lewis: Whole lotta shakin' going on!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@TrickyRicky- As Ben Franklin once said "All things in moderation...including moderation."

@Gee M- Hey, I liked the Postmodern Jukebox stuff, although the singer was awfully smiley and perky when I'm squinting over my first cup of coffee for the morning (yawning grin).

@Anonymous- Good suggestions! Bonus points for "Land of a Thousand Dances" and "Nobody But Me," both of which are now officially on my short list.

@valvenator- I like it! And yeah, I really need to throw a polka into the mix. On Youtube, there's a wonderfully funny polka version of "Highway to Hell." Brave Combo's "Mystery Spot Polka" would also be a good call.

@Mike aka Proof- How did I miss that one? Classic!

Susan said...

Hope you and the fsmily have a very safe Memorial Day.....in the meantime Hlavac is doing quite okley dokely....meaning I have not put him in the drywell........YET!!!!!!! SNORT....... And btw....there are those of us Colonials left who still enjoy the UKs #1 tourist attraction....and another btw.....eff both Philip and Chaz............both a coupla horses’ arses........Anne has allus looked like one anyway........Susan

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Susan- Thanks for the nice wishes and the update that we don't need to send out any search parties for Mr. H...YET. And frankly, I don't get the whole fascination with the "Royals," although I supposed it's as good a made up reason for celebrity as any.

Colby Muenster said...

OK Stilton, you put this in my head. Check out Hayseed Dixie's version of "Highway to Hell." Actually, their version of just about anything will put a grin on your face. My favorite is "Walk the Way."

Now, you can get back to ketching up.

Anonymous said...

And lastly, any live performance by Joe Cocker, or my personal favorite, "Gangnum Style," but not by the original artist. Warning, don't have a beverage anywhere near your mouth unless your keyboard is waterproof-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9s57UBMWdk


Colby Muenster said...

Dammit! Walk THIS way....

John the Econ said...

Isn't this "cultural appropriation"?

Rachel Dolezal, who posed as black, accused of welfare fraud

"A former NAACP leader in Washington state whose life unraveled after she was outed as a white woman pretending to be black has been charged with welfare fraud."

It was fraud because she wasn't entitled because of unreported income from her book. What I don't get is that people actually bought her book.

Winning: Yesterday, my Prog friends were apoplectic about Trump walking away from the summit with North Korea. Quite frankly, I was not surprised and I thought it was great. Trump's skill is negotiation. To be able to walk away from any negotiation is the power. Democrats don't get that.

Their argument is that real negotiations are supposed to be done by the diplomats (implied "the smart people" at the State Department) behind the scenes and the President shows up to smile and shake hands. (They use Carter & Egypt/Israel as the example) My response was the usual; "We've been letting "the smart people" at State do that for decades now with North Korea, and they've failed every single time. Why would any smart President want to be a part of that same routine again unless the point was do achieve more than just the smile and a handshake that the Democrats seem satisfied with?

Another way to look at this might be that Democrat and conservative goals for this sort of thing are very different. Democrats like the idea of doing a deal, the smile and a handshake, and the accolades that come with doing so. Conservatives on the other hand are more interested in results.

I suspect that Trump would like to see his legacy last a few months longer than Obama's did.

And if the Prog approach is so effective, why do they always have to go back 40 years to cite the same, single example of success? Can't they find any other example of success than Carter at Camp David?

Pete (Detroit) said...

That Sammich is NOTHING...
I present you w/ the Gallery of Regrettable Food!
Enjoy, if that's your thing (*I* think it's hysterical)

http://lileks.com/institute/gallery/index.html

REM1875 said...

Pete (Detroit)
Pete sometimes you scare me and that link definitely does......actually it's hilarious !!!