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Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Don't Say We Didn't Warren You

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, elizabeth warren, indian, dna test, pocahontas
As always, you can click the cartoon for a larger view (and read the itty-bitty type above).
Well, the test results are in, and it seems that presidential wannabee Elizabeth "Princess Running Gag" Warren isn't quite the Cherokee warrior she claimed to be as a "woman of color."

Rather, her DNA showed that she might be 1/1024th Native American - which is less than most white Americans - but even that infinitesimal number might be wrong because there are no Native American DNA samples to compare hers with. So the DNA "specialist" compared those particular genes with ones found in other populations in Mexico and South America. Meaning that Warren may actually be Incan, Aztec, or Mayan and have a family history better suited to human sacrifice than running casinos.

But the important thing to take away from this DNA test is that Elizabeth Warren is so white that she makes Casper the ghost look like Kanye West.

Warren has made it clear that her presidential ambitions mean we'll be seeing a lot of her in the future, which makes us think that this is a good time to revisit the past. To that end, enjoy this short retrospective of cartoons...

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, elizabeth warren, indian, dna test, pocahontas

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, elizabeth warren, indian, dna test, pocahontas

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, elizabeth warren, indian, dna test, pocahontas

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, elizabeth warren, indian, dna test, pocahontas

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, elizabeth warren, indian, dna test, pocahontas

BONUS: ERROR ON A G-STRING

We can't really resist commenting about a judge's decision to throw out Stormy Daniels' defamation case against President Trump...and his order that she pay all of his legal expenses in the case as a deterrent to frivolous suits brought by skeezy lawyers like Michael Avenatti. 

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, stormy daniels, avenatti, trump, legal bills, g-string
We still think he banged her, though.

47 comments:

rickn8or said...

she has less Native American blood than the average white American. Making her whiter than white.

I guess then that makes her severely Caucasian. Does that mean Senator Warren is Russian spy?

REM1875 said...

Off topic: But hey is there any chance we can see more of that sleazy beer swilling German witch before Halloween ???

mindful webworker said...

Elizabeth "Princess Running Gag" Warren

Aaumagaw. That is so great.

REM1875 said...

lizzie warren took an axe (ok it was a tomahawk)
And gave the truth 40 whacks
when she seen what she done
she turned around and gave it another 41

James Daily said...

I am wondering if Princess Running Gag should be brought up before the Bar Association for lying to Harvard to get a gig then as a liar teaching? We are pretty sure Harvard will not mess with this being made fools of because background checks are not required. But, with them being sued for fixing the enrollments might be a bigger problem. There, they check backgrounds to keep out the Asians. Keep in mind Harvard fired Judge Kavanaugh for only being accused by a liar. BYW: If this Asian thing goes to the Supreme Court, payback in spades, so to speak unless he recluses himself.

Fred Ciampi said...

Ahh, Liz Warren AKA Chef Running Water and her three sons; Hot, Cold, and Luke.

And now that Miz Daniels has lost she will appeal all the way to the Supreme Court. Karma....

Bobo the Hobo said...

My family is from Italy and according to my (late) father, we’re also Indian - we’re members of the Wapahoe Tribe

Unknown said...

Trump typed in whores face and the damn autocorrect changed it to horseface.

Jack Wiegman said...

Stilt,

You are fantastic to quote; " ... a family history better suited to human sacrifice than running casinos."

That is this year's best from anyone!

Fish Out of Water said...

Its stunning to see a person so wrapped up in themselves that they cannot see the derision around them. Truly an empress without clothes.

I wish I knew how to/ could cut and paste some of the memes I've seen this morning on the subject; some are side-splitting.

@ Stilton: You know there is an upside to her becoming POTUS, she'll provide you with more material than the worst electoral mistake since the peanut farmer from Plains, Ga, ever dreamed he could have.

Pete (Detroit) said...

So, if 1/1024 is enough for Warren, maybe Dolezal really *is* "Black"?

AmyH said...

My '08 Jeep Grand Cherokee has more Indian in it than her. Heck, I may have more than her. Who knows? I know from my father's side I dont. Both sets of Great Grandparents came from Poland. Mom's side? Maybe. There was family here during the Civil war. But before that? Could have been some hanky panky with a "Native".
She is doing so much "Cultural Appropriation" its sick. Why are the libs not screaming at her? She is pulling out every single NA stereotypical thing (except alcoholism), that if she were Conservative, the left would be foaming at the mouth.

Boligat said...

@ Bobo. Is that the tribe that beats up prostitutes?

Geoff King said...

A chihuahua is far more related to a wolf, and even a parakeet is closer to a velociraptor than Warren is to a Native American.

Sortahwitte said...

I tried out for the Hack-a-saw tribe, but they said my dancing sucked.

TrickyRicky said...

@rickn8or- Of course she's a Russian spy. Tolstoy wrote an entire book about it.

Stan da Man said...

Tricky - so, you're saying he got a piece of Warren?

Section147 said...

Re: "G String"...you owe me a new keyboard, Stilt. I can NOT get this coffee outta here, you bastard!

Rod said...

The bit about Stormy & the Don leave me with an uneasy feeling I should have a dog sniffing all our cash-on-hand. Uggh. But the major feature today is hilarious from top to bottom including comments. I just reminded our kids they are about 1.5% GMNAC (Guaranteed Minimum Native American Content) but I don't think any of them should run for high public office.

Shelly said...

@Pete(Detroit), your comment reminds me of a meme I saw. Unable to copy but it said an Indian, a Black and a Mexican walk into a bar. Pictures of Warren, Dolezal and Robert Francis aka Beto O'Rourke.

John the Econ said...

The only way the Warren DNA reveal could have been better is if it had taken place last Friday on "Indigenous People's Day".

I do have to admit that for years, I was wrong. Better part of a decade ago, I was arguing that if there was any legitimacy at all to Warren's ancestry claim, she would have had a DNA test back then and the results would have been on the front page of The Boston Globe and New York Times. That this did not happen was all the confirmation we needed that her claims were completely bogus.

As it turned out, on Monday The Boston Globe did hail her DNA results as "proof" of her claims. But only after digging down into the details do we find that the folks at the Globe aren't very good at math, and that the "proof" was that Warren actually has less "native" DNA than the average white American does.

So I was also wrong when I said that "Warren is at least as white as I am". It turns out that she's probably even whiter!

I apologize for this error and misleading people.

But at least we now have confirmation as to what it takes to be a "person of color" at Harvard.

In fact, it's my hope that the Warren beclownment represents the epoch of racial identity politics in America. It's become a joke, and little more than a tool for people to deploy for power in climbing up the victimization tree. At the time Warren deployed this claim, Warren wanted a leg-up at Harvard, and Harvard needed a "woman of color" to remediate their excessive whiteness. Warren's unverified narrative served both their causes for the moment. Now that that moment has passed, they'd both just assume everyone forget about it. (Like so much of uncomfortable Progressive history)

If, according to The Boston Globe on Monday, Warren is legitimately a "person of color", then everyone is, and nobody is. It's time to put a fork in racial quotas and politics. The only reason to keep them is because Democrats need to keep racial minorities on their plantation to hold on to what power they have left. (Which is why they're now going after Kanye for doing the unforgivable and intolerable)

But why do this now, if at all? I think it's a clear sign that Liz is getting serious about going up against Trump in 2020, and that this was going to be the single issue that Trump was going to pound her endlessly on. So by getting this out now, she hopes that in two years it will be old, dead news. That might have worked in the '90s with a pliant media and no Internet spewing memes. But the fact of the matter will remain that Liz sold a phony narrative to get ahead, and the lazy Progressives at Harvard let her for their own benefit. After all, isn't "cultural appropriation" one of the big no-nos of current Progressive thought? If Democrats tolerate this, (as they likely may) then it's just another example of their transparent hypocrisy that will further fuel the #WalkAway movement.

Trump vs Stormy: The best part of Trump's victory over Stormy's absurd defamation suit is that the money donated by rabid Progressives to Stormy's legal defense fund will now be going to Donald Trump!

Still not tired of the #Winning.

Colby Muenster said...

Whoo hoo! Cartoon-arama today!

Aren't Democrats supposed to be all about having a "beige" society, where everyone is color blind, and we all just hold hands around the campfire? Why the desire to be something you're not? Dolezal wanted to be black, Warren wanted to be Cherokee, Obama wanted to be a great leader...

Just be happy in your own skin, Dems! And if you get skinned alive in November, just remember you asked for it when you picked the path you are on.

Fish Out of Water said...

@ Shelly: what's the link?

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@Colby: Obama wanted to be a great leader...

No he didn't. He wanted to be wealthier, foment racial violence, and permanently cripple the US economy in order to usher in a new, highly enlightened, more-successful-than-Venezuela's instantiation of socialism.

He achieved the first in spades. He very nearly achieved the second as well. Thankfully, the third failed, though much, much damage was done.

Ad, no: the unwashed masses believe Faux-ca-hontas to have been vindicated. Remember: most adherents to their particular ideology apparently cannot read at all, let alone past the headlines in their religious tracts, aka the MSM. If this were not the case, we're still be wondering what minuscule bit of Warren might be native American - they'd seen the ludicrousness (ludicrousosity?) of the data vs the claim, and would have let it slowly fade out of the public awareness rather than provide us with the very stick we are now poking them in the eye with...

Rod said...

I've always though just the damned boxes on forms that are about race, marital status income brackets, etc that we are supposed to check on all-so-many forms about healthcare, census and many other topics we encounter in everyday life are all illegal as hell; and I don't respond to them. But I will disclose that I have at least 32 times more native DNA than Princess Running Gag and that wont buy me a cup of coffee, much less get me elected to any office.

Dan said...


When visiting relatives in Austin, the subject of DNA testing came up. I told them that I had taken an Ancestry.com test where you spit into the little tube. I guess I didn't wait long enough after eating since I came back 60 percent southern European and forty percent cheeseburger.

Walter L Stafford said...

Now you've gone and done it! This is so damn funny I had to call Life Flight after I lost my breath reading/looking at what you had composed. Now about the money for DT having the smell of taint/shrimp on it...maybe toilet paper was used and not $ bills!

M. Mitchell Marmel said...
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M. Mitchell Marmel said...
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TMay said...

Make a poster.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Meaning that Warren may actually be Incan,

Indian Incan?

Oh, and I self-identify as a member of the Fukawi tribe. (This was the first name of the Hakawi tribe in 'F Troop', until Standards and Practices took a closer look.)

https://www.gofundme.com/save-fortescue-from-homelessness

See Update 13. Or, for a copy of the entire image:

https://sta.sh/01uniyhy0nfq

Popular Front said...

The whole Warren/Cherokee thing is truly laughable but the Dolezal woman is even better. I was not fooled for an instant; she has NO visible negroid features whatever and looks exactly what she is - a white woman with a bad perm. What I can't figure is why no genuine person of colour called her out about her claim. Was she like Mrs Cleaver in Airplane? "......excuse me stewardess, I speak jive".

Cridge said...

U from Michigan?

B.C. said...

Stormy also accepts EBT cards--- you just swipe it and wipe it.

sergio said...

Perhaps she's a distant member of the Fagawi tribe. The one that wandered around lost for years, finally the chief asked,"where in the Fagawi?" Johnny Carson used to joke about the Fagawi Indians, but finally censors made him cease and desist

Anonymous said...

The nature of sexual reproduction and chromosomes makes 'race' virtually a continuous function, yet the progressives are hell bent (reference intentional) on creating discrete, separate-but-equal (some more equal than others) tribes.

Contrast that with gender, where this same crowd takes a binary X or Y chromosome and turns it into a continuous function of infinite possibilities.

Judi King said...

@Rod: Now I just check "other" in the box and write in "Human"

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@rickn8or- That would explain a lot, wouldn't it?

@REM1875- I'm not sure, but I'll keep you abreast of any change in plans.

@mindful webworker- She has a lot of hilarious nicknames, but that's the one I've been using for years. Seems appropriate, doesn't it?

@REM1875- In fairness, she's only 1/1024th psycho axe murderer.

@James Daily- Technically, she wasn't "lying" if she believed it. But allowing herself to be described - even by herself - as a "woman of color" is another matter entirely. THAT was flat out misrepresentation and gaming of the affirmative action system.

@Fred Ciampi- I love the Hot, Cold, and Luke joke.

@Bobo the Hobo- Didn't soldiers used to shout "Wapahoe!" when parachuting out of airplanes?

@Unknown- It pretty much works either way.

@Jack Weigman- Glad you enjoyed that line. I had a "tee hee" moment when writing it (grin).

@Fish Out of Water- I don't WANT more material from a wretched Dem in the Oval Office! 8 years was way more than enough!

@Pete (Detroit)- Makes sense to me. In fact, we can all pretty much be whatever ethnicity is most convenient at any given time. My question is whether a scintilla of "black" blood would make me eligible for full reparations?

@AmyH- You've hit a vital question: why aren't the Libs going nuts about her cultural appropriation? It's so freaking flagrant, but of course they don't care about the sins committed by their side.

@Bobo- I understand that a Wapahoe beat up a prostitute and she said "I'll Sioux!"

@Geoff King- And at least they're not assholes about it.

Sortahwitte said...

That dolezall is seriously warped. I bet she looks in the mirror and sees maxi ugly watters.
Or her alter ego, aunt esther.

Colby Muenster said...

Just a reminder, to all my fellow Stilton's Placers... Fortescue could still use our help!

https://www.gofundme.com/save-fortescue-from-homelessness

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Sortahwitte- Maybe you could try again with the Chippatooth tribe?

@TrickyRicky- Well played, sir!

@Stan da Man- ...and that's the last piece of the puzzle. (grin)

@Section147- What have I said about reading this blog with a mouthful of liquid?!

@Rod- Seriously, all of Stormy's "tip" money should go through a microwave oven before being touched.

@Shelly- That's not just a joke, it's a campaign poster!

@John the Econ- Liz definitely wants to be the Big Chief Executive. A line I will surely trot out again when she makes her candidacy official. Regarding Stormy, I'm curious how her debt to Trump will affect her tips when strutting her "past due date" stuff? Will Dems be more reluctant to tip knowing the money goes to Trump? Will those on the Right see such tips as a fun way to contribute to the President?

@Colby Muenster- Sometimes it's fun to drag some stuff out of the vaults (like today)! Regarding the race brouhaha, I think I heard from some Dem spokesperson recently that colorblindness equals racism, because you're denying the ongoing struggle or somesuch BS.

@Fish Out of Water- I don't know of a link, but the meme has bounced all over Facebook.

@Emmentaler- Great and accurate summation of Obama. And I think you're right that those on the Left will now believe that Warren has been vindicated. I saw various articles from "mainstream" media calling the DNA results "solid proof" of her Native American heritage. Of course, those on the Left aren't very good at math, as evidenced by the candidates they support.

@Rod- The best response to those check boxes I've heard is the guy who saw the line marked SEX and checked "F" rather than "M." When asked about it, he said "I have a wife, so I haven't needed to "M" in a long time."

@Dan- Okay, that's flat out hilarious!

@Walter L Stafford- All I know is if the money has been in direct contact with any part of Stormy's anatomy, I wouldn't touch it.

@Tmay- I'm not 100% sure what you're referring to, but I like your "can do" spirit!

@M. Mitchell Marmel- I love it but hope you won't be an "In the red" Skin very long. And bonus points to you for use of the word "merkin!" It's always a pleasure to recognize an educated man.

@Popular Front- (Off topic, but that's also Stormy Daniels' nickname) Good point. And why the heck couldn't any "person of color" tell that Dolezal wasn't "of color." Sort of calls into question the whole (alleged) validity of their racial identity politics.

@Cridge- What a cryptic question. Actually I'm originally from Indiana, but I've got nothing against Michiganders.

@B.C.- Thanks for putting THAT image in my head! Of course, for those without such cards, "the check's in the female."

@sergio- Johnny Carson was censored for that, but Jimmy Kimmel now hauls out a row of mushroom dildos so that Stormy can identify which looks most like Trump's bangstick. I'm pretty sure this is how Rome fell.

@Anonymous- Great points. And we're the ones who are supposed to be anti-science, right?

@Judi King- I think I'll start doing that too!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Sortahwitte- I really wonder who or what Dolezal does see in the mirror? She's clearly mentally ill...although mental illness is rarely recognized as "clear" on the Left.

@Colby Muenster- A good reminder! For anyone who wants to lend a helping financial hand of any amount, here's a handy clickable link.

John the Econ said...

With Halloween coming up, I have a timely question:

Is "cultural appropriation" still "bad"?

B.C. said...

After ruminating on Fauxcahontas's claim of Native American ancestry, perhaps she is distantly related to Chief Shitting Bull? She sure has his penchant for spreading bullshit, er, speaking with a forked tongue.

Fish Out of Water said...

@Stilton: I don't believe we'll ever see an uninterrupted succession of Republican POTUS, nor would I want to see that. As glad as I am this country dodged a coup d'etat in making Trump President, he nor the Republican party has all the answers. No globalist am I, but the President is totally wrong on trade and tariffs.

I vote Republican now as the only alternative is to vote for creeping totalitarianism. I've often said that on 2000, had the democratic ticket been headed by Joe Lieberman, I would have spent much more time in the voting booth than I did.

As for another prominent, racially confused individual, Rachel Dozeal, last I read, she was under investigation for welfare fraud.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Stilton: Thanks for the donation, the plug and the much needed laugh! Can't take all the credit for "merkin"; that was suggested by a chum of mine.

@Fish: A quick Google search for 'Rachel Dozeal' turns up a LOT of Warren story links, as well as this NYT story...

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Colby: And thanks to you as well!

Incidentally, my "Chief Merkin-On-Face" gag has earned me a two page screed from one of my lefty friends on the East Coast. It's an interesting, if sad, confirmation of tribal bias that he assumed I'm in complete lockstep with the GOP because I decided to twit Fauxahontas a bit...

I would also note that the Stilton's Place crew has been a damned sight more generous than most folks of other political persuasions... <3