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Wednesday, October 3, 2018

Harvard-Har-Har!

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Democrats have likened the Brett Kavanaugh confirmation process to a "job interview," but it's increasingly clear that - unless he's seated on the Supreme Court - the actual outcome will be more like career suicide.

As a case in point, it was recently announced that Judge Kavanaugh will not be teaching his "Recent History of the Supreme Court" class at Harvard next year, despite the face that no one on Earth could possibly be more expert on that particular topic just now.

It's unclear whether Kavanaugh simply didn't feel he could commit to the class, whether officials at Harvard dumped him, or whether this is the result of a letter damning Kavanaugh signed by over 860 Harvard Law School graduates.

Which presents us with a highly troubling question: how could Harvard Law School have so many graduates who obviously don't know diddly-squat about the law?

Nope, these abysmal morons have convicted and sentenced Kavanaugh solely on the basis of what he has been accused of with no evidence in support of that accusation. And if that's the new standard for finding guilt "beyond a shadow of a doubt," then why the hell do we need lawyers at all? Harvard Law School might be wise to update their program and dispense entirely with the teaching of law in favor of teaching students the correct way to swing a headman's axe.

But frankly, even Harvard is falling behind the zealotry zeitgeist here - as is ably demonstrated by what we're hearing from the more progressive Georgetown University. There, associate professor Dr. Carol Christine Fair (ha!) tweeted about GOP members of the Senate Judiciary Committee, "All of them deserve miserable deaths while feminists laugh as they take their last gasps. Bonus: we castrate their corpses and feed them to swine."

We would call Dr. Fair a hateful, racist, sexist sociopath but, in absolute fairness, it sounds like this might just be that special "time of the month" when she can't control her faculties.

Too bad that Georgetown can't either.

BONUS: THE ICEMAN JUDGETH

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Actual photo of Kavanaugh taken by Matthew Brady.
Many on the Left have been demanding to know why Brett Kavanaugh's confirmation is being "rushed through," despite the fact that the amount of time has been absolutely typical of all such hearings, whether the nominee comes from a Democrat or Republican President.

But it now appears that the GOP actually did want to get Kavanaugh confirmed before his Terrible Secret could be revealed. And now it's too late.

A serious and credible accusation has been made that in 1985, college student Kavanaugh was drinking beer in a bar with friends when heated words were exchanged with another patron, whereupon Kavanaugh, with premeditation and malice aforethought, may (or may not) have thrown a piece of ice at his opponent.

Oh sure, ice may not sound like a big deal at first, but it was a pretty big damn deal to those on the Titanic. And as anyone who has watched "A Christmas Story" several dozen times knows, a falling icicle can put your eye out.

Some may claim that Kavanaugh is now a changed man, and point to the fact that he hasn't been accused of throwing ice at anyone in recent years. But how could he, even if he wanted to? As Al Gore so accurately predicted, global warming caused the last piece of ice on Earth to melt back in 1993. Kavanaugh may still be a sociopathic ice-flinging maniac who has simply run out of ammunition but still has stockpiles of deep-seated beer-triggered aggression waiting to explode. Imagine the carnage he could cause to the other members of the Supreme Court if he gets his hands on an assault Slurpee.

Then again, it might actually be a good way to occasionally wake up Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

31 comments:

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Harvard certainly has gone downhill since Tom Lehrer's time...

Sortahwitte said...

She's dead, Jim. No wakee. At all forever. Nominate one for her, too.

Jason Anyone said...

I'm pretty sure Sheldon Whitehouse tried to rape me back in the '70's. I don't remember where. I don't remember when. But I'm from RI and he's from RI. What more evidence does anyone need?

Oh yeah. I think I've heard him laugh before. Laughing means rape.

Velveeta Processed Cheese Food said...

That Great American, Joe Bob Briggs, the Drive In Movie Critic of Grapevine, Texas, had this to say about Supreme Court nominees in general:

http://takimag.com/article/the-supreme-yacht-club/

I don't go along with his rejection of originalist reading of the Constitution, but he does piddle all over the Ivy League, always a good thing.

Gee M said...

“And as Americans, we must ask ourselves: Are we really so different? Must we stereotype those who disagree with us?
Do we truly believe that ALL red-state residents are ignorant racist fascist knuckle-dragging NASCAR-obsessed cousin-marrying road-kill-eating tobacco-juice-dribbling gun-fondling religious fanatic rednecks; or that ALL blue-state residents are godless unpatriotic pierced-nose Volvo-driving France-loving left-wing Communist latte-sucking tofu-chomping holistic-wacko neurotic vegan weenie perverts?

Yes.

This is called "diversity," and it is why we are such a great nation - a nation that has given the world both nuclear weapons AND SpongeBob SquarePants.

And so today I am calling upon both sides in the red-blue rift to reach out. Maybe we could have a cultural-exchange program between red and blue states. For example, a delegation from Texas could go to California and show the Californians how to do some traditional Texas thing such as castrate a bull using only your teeth, and then the Californians could show the Texans how to rearrange their football stadiums in accordance with the principles of "feng shui" (for openers, both goalposts should be at the west end of the field). Or maybe New York and Kentucky could have a college-style "mixer," featuring special "crossover" hors d'oeuvres,

40 Things a True Redneck will never say...

40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
30. Wrasslin's fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit & grapes instead of biscuits & gravy.
25. Honey, we don' t need another dog.
24. Who's Richard Petty?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I've got it all on the C drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?
12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
9 Checkmate.
8. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
6. Here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
5. I don't have a favorite college team.
4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
3. I believe you cooked those soup beans too long.
2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
1. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.

mankind is not meant to be liberal...

Gee M said...

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southerner?



Here is a little test that will help you decide.
The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

................................................................

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
What does the law say about this situation?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

...............................................................

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

...............................................................

Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?
Son: Can I shoot the next one!
Wife: You Ain't Taking That To The Taxidermist!

REM1875 said...

Dick the butcher was right ........course he hadn't met our media ........

Fred Ciampi said...

The decline of our educational system began in the early sixties at University of California at Bezerkly when the officials allowed the rioting to continue. And it has continued and spread until this very day. Sad, sad, sad.

Judi King said...

@Gee M: LOL. So funny but strangely true.

PS: I don't understand why the FBI shouldn't investigate Ms. Ford's story.

Bobo the Hobo said...

“Assault Slurpee” is the new name of my garage band

Jess said...

Harvard needs to invest in Nike. That way they can get a discount for running shoes for their ambulance chasing law school graduates.

Gee M said...

Ooops!
Ms. Ford and her posse of operatives scrubbed her Facebook and other internet presence clean...but that pesky left-behind ex-boyfriend is just ruining her carefully constructed storyline.
Teaching a colleague how to take and pass a polygraph...felony ooops as in false under-oath testimony!
Living for years in small front-door-only apts ...part 2 felony lying!
And flying the Friendly Skies...never once mentioning any sexual assault...changing timelines...named witnesses denying the entire scenario...boy...what were they thinking?
We can only hope they subpoena her missing yearbook...party girl and nasty as well, I hear.
Next...? Will we start finding bodies?
Hilary IS still on the loose.

Geoff King said...

Q: How many Harvard Law School graduates does it take to roof a house?
A: Depends on how thin you slice them.

Judi King said...

@ Gee M: All reasons to investigate the flawed Ms. Ford. IMHO she was on drugs when this alleged "assault" took place, thus the holes in her so-called memory. With a PHD in psychology she should know what a "false" memory is.

TrickyRicky said...

How far the Ivy League schools have fallen. Sad really, but perhaps only a symptom of our societal collapse. Bread and circuses anyone?

James Daily said...

With the democrats opening this Pandora's box of guilty before the presumption of innocence, our judicial system is in danger of collapse. One must certainly prove guilt of democrats and innocence of republicans. That dog will not hunt. This political fanaticism of trying to brute force this country into worthless unworkable socialism must stop and the only way to stop it is at the ballot box. Secondly I suspect many long term democrats are sick of and because of the way the liberals are acting. This brings to mind when John Connley was asked why he changed from democrat to republican, said, "I do not know this party" speaking of the democrats. Many more will currently say the same thing.

Alej said...

James, amigo, you mis-spelled "bullet."

Tots said...

OK, Stilton. Put on your #TinFoilHat because Dr Ford's "Beach buddies" were actually former DOJ/FBI.

Jeebus, no wonder the Democrats wanted an FBI "Investigation". Hell, the FBI was likely a part of starting this crap.

Remember back in the good old days when the KGB was the bad guys?

John the Econ said...

One of William F. Buckley's more memorable quotes was that he'd "rather be ruled by the first 100 people in the Boston phone book than the Harvard faculty."

I think it's pretty safe to assume that he'd feel exactly the same about the opinions of 860 Harvard Law School graduates.

This also serves as proof that Trump is the worst Hitler ever. If we were in fact reliving 1935, the last thing that these supposedly anti-fascist law grads would do is put their name on a letter opposing the desires of der fuhrer. Far from expecting to find themselves in a gulag or blindfolded with cigarettes in their mouths and backs to a wall, they're no doubt receiving accolades at the better cocktail parties in their Progressive social bubbles.

It's not that Harvard Law grads don't know the law. I suspect that most of them do.
It's just that they don't care. The law stopped mattering over a decade ago with the rise of Obama. The fact that the Clintons still roam free is proof of that. We're in banana republic territory now. It's all about power anymore, rule of law be damned. I suspect that most of those who signed that letter will be using their knowledge of the law to destroy what is left of it.

Which is just one of the reasons why they hate Kavanaugh.

The ironically-named Dr. Fair: Speaking of Nazis, if you could imagine substituting "white senators" with, say "Jews", then Dr. Fair would quite comfortably fin in with the zeitgeist of 1935 Nazi Germany.

I think it's Dr. Fair to say that that William Buckley's wouldn't want to be ruled by the faculty of Georgetown any more than that of Harvard. It's also a good example of the kind of world that we'd be in for if these people got more power than they already have.

Icegate: The horror! Worse than actual rape, or groping anyway. Why does America create such monsters?

Next up: He doesn't separate the colored plastic from the clear plastic in his recycling!

Maoz said...

James Daily -- IIRC, Ronald Reagan phrased it thusly: "I didn't leave the Democratic Party; the Democratic Party left me."

Adirondack Black Fly Breeders Ass'n. said...

Hey all--

I was having a really sh*tty day.
It's been chemtrailing all weekend & now the rains came & it's dark-n-chilly.
Such is life in the foothills of the Adirondacks (Upstate NY).

These comments really picked me up.
I phoned my bride & read here the one about shooting (how to know you're a southerner). She loves to shoot. Got her a new Rem-20 for her B-day skeet.

Man, she laughed and laughed then stopped.
Said: "You know it's true, don't you?"
"Might want to pick up some cartridges from Walmart on your way back."

Go Kav!

Keep 'em coming Stilton!!

Colby Muenster said...

Man oh man.... great stuff! I liked the group photo of the Harvard Law Professors a lot, and Gee M gets the knee slapper of the day award. I've seen the redneck top 40 before, but it's still funny, and I can say that 'cause I live in NC. I would probably substitute Dale Earnhardt for Richard Petty, and Andy Griffith for Hee Haw, though.

@Geoff King,
A roof like that would probably only do a good job of keeping the rain IN.

@John the Econ,
It always kills me when Democrats refer to Republicans as a bunch of "old white men." As though that were somehow exponentially worse than "old white men and women." Maybe Grassley should change his image and get a bottle of shoe polish like DiFi.

There is also a rumor going around that Kavanaugh drove a car in his bare feet when he was 17! I'll bet, if he gets confirmed, he'll wear shorts under his robes!! Scandalous!

Dan said...

Make a rule that no harvard or yale law graduate can be appointed to a federal appeals, circuit, or supreme court for the next 50 years.

Gumby-damn-it! said...

Probably uses plastic straws too. For shame!

sergio said...

That "Iceman" looked nothing like George Gervin. Dems have beclowned themselves -- again! There'd better be some perjury charges associated with this farce

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- Circumstances kept me away from the computer yesterday, so I've fallen behind on responses. Really enjoyable comments above and, as always, it's nice to get so many reminders that none of us is on this out of control rollercoaster alone.

As new evidence has come to light over the last few days, my earlier opinion that Ford sounded credible (albeit mistaken) now seems overly charitable. I still think she believes in her attack story, but I also believe it's been embellished and reworked in a way that points to deliberate deception. And undeniably quite a few lies have been told by Ford and her (ahem) "legal" team.

I support Kavanaugh more than ever, though am appalled that once seated he'll still be labeled a rapist and sexual predator for the rest of his life by a large portion of our increasingly stupid population.

John the Econ said...

"And undeniably quite a few lies have been told by Ford and her (ahem) "legal" team."

Which is why we'll probably never see the final FBI report that the Democrats demanded be conducted. It's purpose was never to expose the truth, which I suspect Congressional Democrats already largely knew was not going to help their cause. It was just to kill more time, and to get the spotlight off of Dianne Feinstien.

As for Kavanaugh being "labeled a rapist and sexual predator for the rest of his life", that will just be a consolation prize for the Democrats, just as it was when they did it to Thomas. Fortunately, the next quarter-century rulings by Kavanaugh will have just as much force as they would have had this clown show not taken place. In fact, it's my hope that this circus costs the Democrats dearly next month. Yes, they certainly got their base and the vocal minority riled up, but the rest of the country got disgusted, and I hope they take that disgust to the polls.

What really gets me is that the same people who sold us "free love" and anything-goes sexuality only a few years ago are now coming across as the repressed teetotalling scolds from Footloose.

James Daily said...

This battle is do or die for the demorats as since they only get their agenda through by way of the courts and this is appointment is the death knell for them. As to their vicious attacks on Judge Kavanaugh, do you not wonder how anyone could drink as much as they claim and still be # one in his class? The others must be really dense or his has an IQ off the charts. On the sex stuff, do you not wonder why these gals were at such frat parties? Every frat house has a history that is well known. Every sorority has a history of they types of members. Nothing to see here, move along. Now, since the demorats has alienated a large group of their supporters with this gutter fight, payback will be heil as they lose seat after seat, especially since one poll was a 75% blame on Feinstein.

Mike_C said...

"Kavanaugh may [have] stockpiles of deep-seated beer-triggered aggression waiting to explode."

Well, if he didn't have any before this abomination he sure has good reason to have plenty of deep-seated aggression now.

tonif said...

"Assault Slurpee" and Ruth Bader Ginsburg,

I laughed so hard, I now have a hernia.

Confusingly Clear said...


" ... Then again, it might actually be a good way to occasionally wake up Ruth Bader Ginsburg. ..."

Why would anyone want to do that?