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Monday, November 5, 2018

If Your Election Lasts More Than Four Hours...

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, grab them by the ballot, mid-term elections, poling place, lefty lucy, daylight saving time
Yes, we spelled "poling" that way on purpose.
Tomorrow is Election Day, and one way or another it's going to pack a wallop. We're either going to see the effective end of the Trump experiment as House Democrats begin two years of unending lawsuits, investigations, and impeachment attempts...or delicious agony and despair from Leftists as they're forced to endure ongoing gains in pretty much every measure of American success.

Actual logical discourse about which party should win has pretty much disappeared, as exemplified by the Democrats' ad in which a bunch of naked women stare dolefully at a camera while holding paper ballots over what is apparently the only important part of their anatomy.

Their message is clear enough: "we are ambulatory reproductive systems without enough sense to practice simple birth control or, God forbid, abstinence, and nothing matters to us other than the convenience of killing babies."

Seriously, shouldn't all women be offended by this campaign? Especially when they notice that there's no corollary in which men are being encouraged to vote with their schwanzstuckers?

The choices in this election are stark: mobs versus jobs, capitalism versus socialism, hate versus debate, division versus unity, logic versus emotion, and responsibility versus hedonistic chaos.

On Tuesday night, things are going to change. And sadly, the naked truth is that we don't know which way.

AND FROM THE VAULT

She'll be voting. Make sure you do, too!

46 comments:

Sortahwitte said...

Vote early and often!
If you know any dims, kindly remind them that Wednesday is their day to vote.

Jim G. said...

I'd like to push my thermometer in Lefty Lucy. Ooops...did I say that out loud?

Pete (Detroit) said...

Here, we've got 3 Props on the State ballot... 1 to legalize pot, 2) to form a 'redistricting committee' for anti-gerrymandering, and 3) to allow no-excuse absentee ballot requests as well as same day registration (at the clerk's office, NOT the polling place. I'm concerned about the practicality of 1 and 2, and the const. amend. status of 2, 3 (I tend to be against amendments, as a rule) TRULY concerning in the case of all three is the $$$$ pouring in from out of state... For Goobernator, we have a choice of a right rat bastard of an AG (STILL don't quite understand how he pulled off the primary - there were at least two better candidates) and a dem party hack of a state sen who's answer to every problem is to throw $$$ at it. BUT, we (fortunately) have a balanced budget statute (or amendment?) that forces her to take it from SOME where... I'm guessing a buncha new taxes up the pipe if she hits it...
Senate we have an incumbent turdburgler who's done next to nothing but name shit for 30 years, and a "well tanned" combat vet(Apache pilot!!! how red ass is THAT?!?!) and business owner, who actually has experience creating jobs, paying bills, 'n stuff. Hoping his skin will be a bonus to the #walkaway / Blexit types...
Personally, I'm firmly stuck in the hereditary Dingell District - held by 3 generations for nearly 10 years... so I don't expect anything to change there. Hope most of y'all have better prospects.
Tag phrase I thought was cute - On Tuesday, get out and VOTE as if your job depended on it.

REM1875 said...

I don't want liberal womyn any wheres near my poling place !!!

Jim Irre said...

Liberal womyn bite!

Matthew White said...

I for one do not envy you for having to do that Photoshop job...

Jess said...

That reminds me of a joke: What's the difference between a tribe of Pygmies and a group of Democrat women running for office?

Fish Out of Water said...

If there is an stronger reminder the democratic party offers the electorate nothing in terms of ideas, that poster says it all.

Geoff King said...

Well, today is the last day before mid terms for dims to pull some false flag distraction out of their hats to blame on Trump. The invading caravan no longer works as they are only expected to be around Mexico City by tomorrow. MSM barely mentions them now, even though the number has reportedly swelled to 12,000. Of course if the dims do gain control of the House, they will martyr a couple of them at the border and we will be treated with non stop coverage of Trump's "Gestapo" murdering poor down trodden asylum seekers.
Actually a dim ploy that would almost work for me is if they threatened to reshoot the naked women picture, substituting those gals for Pelosi, Waters, Warren, Clinton, and perhaps Whoopi, O'Donnell, and Ginsberg to round out the indelible image if we do not allow the Blue Wave.

Colby Muenster said...

@Jess,
Cunning runts, those Pygmies are.

Fred Ciampi said...

I think everything should be legal. That way there would be no lawbreakers...... Last election there were about a dozen or more Republicans out front of the voting place here acting as greeters and way over there ... one lone lady greeting the Democrats. But everyone was friendly towards each other ... the way it should be. I saw on a news clip some black panthers marching along. I didn't keep the TV on long enough to see where they going but I wonder if it was Philadelphia.... I remember a slogan in the early 60s; "Vote for the Kennedy of your choice, but vote!".

Anonymous said...

Or as Clevon little said "Man, them Schnitzengrubers can wipe you out!

Vote as if your Blazing Saddles Depended on it....

See what I did there?

Hee Hee Hee

I slay me

MSG Grumpy

Emmentaler Limburger said...

I'm hoping tomorrow's results are the BIGGEST repudiation of the left to come yet. I'm like that: Glass half full vs glass vs glass half empty vs glass half broken off in their collective @$$.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

My prediction is more-or-less status quo. If there is a shift either way, it's going to be miniscule.

McChuck said...

Democrats don't believe that women are ambulatory reproductive systems. They believe that they are ambulatory pleasure centers. And reproduction is purely accidentally and must be swiftly terminated.

Then there's the new insanity of "men can have babies, too" as scientists and doctors are forced to replace the word "women" with "people with ovaries".

Dave N said...

I just keep praying that God does not let evil triumph over good. And then I go into my ammo room to take another census.

TrickyRicky said...

Too bad we have ballots by mail here in Colorado. I could use a little action around my poling place tomorrow!!

AmyH said...

We have idiot Visclosky running again. He is a 30+ year Rep. Leyva is running against him, again. Someday, Petey will retire or pass in office or maybe, just maybe Leyva can pull this off at some point (or some other Republican). My town is pretty red, the cities north and just east are heavily blue, towns south can go either way but mostly red. Can you guess which areas are corrupted?

Rod said...

@ Dave N: You may be updating the tally after using some in practice then restocking by the case to maintain supply. Me too. But hunting uses very little; one round per deer; & a can of air rifle pellets lasts long time on squirrels that have become destructive pests. That's good open-sight practice too; invading tree rats are both wary & quick. Who needs to go on Safari?

Judi King said...

Just when you think the dims can't get any lower, they do. Do I find these morons offensive? Most definately!!!!!!!11

NaCly Dog said...

Vote like your life and livelihood depends upon it. It does

James Daily said...

Tomorrow marks the day we have the end of the demorat party or six more years of unending wailing and gnashing of teeth. With the ages of Pelosi, Feinstein, Waters, Biden, etc, all in God's waiting room, they will probably not be around in six years.
Those thinking voters have seen what President Trump has accomplished thru an unimaginable head wind from both parties will vote R. This country depends on tomorrow's vote. On the naked voters, who cares that a few think that was a good idea as most folks that are into that sort of stuff get their pictures from sites more attuned to flexibility.

Shelly said...

I just heard this morning that my county (and Stilt's), Collin County, Texas, led the state in early voting. Since we are a primarily conservative county, this gives me further hope that O'Beto will not prevail against our stalwart senator, Ted Cruz. Even Politico, a predominately left-wing site, has an article today lamenting O'Beto's impending loss. I just hope all the Beto signs get recycled and not jam up our landfills. I'm also hoping the Republicans keep the House, but remain doubtful. Maybe the polls are as wrong now as they were in 2016. But if the Dims do manage to eke it out, their behavior over the next two years will undoubtedly assure a Trump reelection in 2020.

John the Econ said...

At what point do we guys get to declare victory in this "War on Women" we've supposedly been conducting? It seems to me that they've pretty much surrendered. Commitment-free sex is now easily available with the swipe on a phone app. And should an "ooopsie" occur, getting an abortion is almost as easy. Porn has become so mainstreamed in the last 20 years that now even evangelical supposed-Christians now endorse it as long as it's "ethically sourced". The war has been so successfully conducted that we even got the nation's leading feminists and feminist groups to go all-in to save the presidency of the ultimate poster boy for misogyny, Bill Clinton. Lately, we've got them to parade around in vagina hats and costumes, and now we've got them posing naked to protest misogyny, because, gosh-darn-it, women are more than just their body parts that they just won't shut up about.

Personally, I can't wait for tomorrow to be over, regardless of who wins or loses. I'm tired of the constant, misleading, and ugly radio, TV and Internet ads. I'm tired of the "clipboard people" showing up at my door and interrupting my day. And most of all, I'm tired of people who've exempted themselves from the restrictions of the "do not call" list calling my office number literally every 30 minutes. And the reprieve won't be long either, because once the dust has settled on the midterms, the race for who will try to replace Trump in 2020 will start. We're now on the verge of a 4-year-24/7 election cycle where this insanity will never end. And many people, especially those who've developed a lucrative niche making a good living servicing this will encourage that.

In my state, outside interests have spent roughly $100-per-voter.

One of the features of the American experiment is that power is scheduled to change hands based upon a calendar, versus other systems where it happens via a polite civil revolt, at best. But the one thing I do admire about those other systems is that their election cycle lasts weeks, not years.

Lefty Lucy, you actually make more sense than many "climate scientists" do, who actually believe that we can change the climate by fiat.

Fritz Brohn said...

Having seen pictures of some of these harridans in action, being "cut off" by them is like winning the lott
ery: Unlikely but MOST welcome!

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

From Facebook:

Kengi Stargazer
where are the feminists crying out this is objectifying women they should be up in arms over this.

M Mitchell Marmel
I could make some comments involving the difference between objectified and objectionable, with corollaries involving the requirement for a large crane in order to even evince the appearance of gallant reflex, but good manners and a gentlemanly restraint forbid. 3:)

Gee M said...

Are you a Turtle?

If you are, you remember these membership questions...

What does a a man do standing up, a woman sitting down, and a dog on 3 legs?

A) Shake hands.

What is a four-letter word, ending in the letter k, that means the same as intercourse?

A) Talk

What is so long, and so hard, and sticks so far out of a man’s pajamas in the morning, that he could hang a hat upon it?

A) His head

What does a cow have four of that a woman has two of?

A) Legs


And of course, never forget...as all members of the Order are presumed to own a jackass, when queried by another member "Are you a Turtle?" one must audibly reply "You bet your sweet Ass I am."; failing to do so obligates the guilty member to buy the asking member a beverage of his or her choice.

Joseph ET said...

There may be a little hope But not likely.
Viewed a political ad on One America News Network last night. It was in Spanish with English subtitles reminding people that it’s illegal to vote if you are not a citizen. It may have been a local advertisement directed to California by Direct TV. I’ve been saying for a long time that this needs to be done through all the Spanish media and do it consistently, not just at election time.

Here is the text:
“On Tuesday November 6th America will go to the polls to elect their government. If you are an American citizen we urge you to vote! If you are not a US citizen it is illegal for you to vote in this country. If you are caught voting you will be arrested, deported, put in jail and lose any chance of amnesty or becoming a US citizen! No one is above the law!
~ protect our vote

Note: People on The 'Do not call list' can still be called by political organizations, charities, telephone surveyors, or companies with which a consumer has an existing business relationship. Also, calls from outside the USA and law breakers.
I never went on the list because it's just a list of "good numbers" for the exempt and illegal callers to use. Caller ID and a good call blocker works well for me.

Front door has a camera. Unknown persons ringing the door bell are usually ignored. I'm not willing to allow these people to steal my time in person or by phone.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- As always, your comments are wise and entertaining. I'm officially in the nail-biting phase of this election, filled with dread at the possibility of the Dems getting more power. And I don't know WHAT the blazes I can publish Wednesday, as it's unlikely we'll really know what's going on until fairly late on Tuesday. I suppose I could put together a "Hooray!" edition and a "We're Screwed!" edition, and then just post the one which seems most on point.

Like others have mentioned, I'm SICK of the campaigning on both sides - though we'll probably only get a breather of a month or two before things start ramping up for 2020.

@Gee M- And leave us not forget a 4-letter word for a woman that ends in "unt." The word being, of course, "Aunt."

Jason Anyone said...

And speaking of "Jobs, not mobs...."

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DqORTfZWsAAf1d2.jpg

I know Halloween has past, but this was one of THE BEST (cutest) couple o'kids in political costume. (Found in the Twitterverse)

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DrBsQxJV4AAbm9J.jpg

Sandra Brown said...

You bet your sweet ass I am. Regarding the upcoming erection. Rots of ruck.

Anonymous said...

My son says he only dates conservative chics.
They are clean, mentally predictable, not annoying and--- not easy.
Hmmm.
Oh, and no tattoos.
He says chics w/tats are loco.
Interesting.

Sortahwitte said...

A week before '16, I was resigned to the the end of our civilization. That Wednesday morning I woke to the sound of birds singing and commies crying. It was great. I wanna hear it again!

You bet your sweet ass I am.

Rod said...

I'm watching & researching what's going on Monday evening; and I think both after the polls close Tuesday evening and Wednesday morning may be a lot of fun; as the Left gets their asses thoroughly whipped again. Changes of career & (hopefully) prison terms for some, to follow.

Murphy(AZ) said...

May I ask a simple question?

Why is it, when politically oriented women decide it's necessary to strip down to make their point, it's ALWAYS the beauty-challenged ones? (I didn't want to call them ugly; that would be harsh.)

Fish Out of Water said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Fish Out of Water said...

FWIW, in my unfortunately deep blue precinct of the Commonwealth of Virginia, early morning voting was steady but light. Given the now skewed demographics in my state (the heavily populated, urban counties of Northern Virginia vs the rest of the State) and how the democrats have been exploiting this, don't have much hope of seeing the Republican candidates triumphant, but I take comfort that perhaps the democrat's margin of victory will be less than they looked forward to.

Laura D said...

Stilton,

Why don't you post both versions? Or maybe a suspense-filled one, ala Batman? (Is this curtains for the Dynamic Duo? Will the Joker make good his escape? Tune in next week! Same Bat-time, same Bat-channel!)

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Jason Anyone- If those kids had showed up at my house, I'd not only have given them all my candy but also paid for their college tuition.

@Sandra Brown- Encouraging people on this site to vote is sort of a "coals to Newcastle" deal, as we're all politically motivated and politically educated here. Unlike the Lefties who go into the voting booth with a "D" drawn on the back of their hand to remind them who to vote for.

@Anonymous- I would never date a woman with a tattoo, because it would really piss off Mrs. J.

@Sortahwitte- I'm hoping for a repeat of that miracle today!

@Rod- I so want to see jail terms for some of the bad actors who've tortured us for years. What happens at the polls today will likely determine if that will just remain a fantasy.

@Murphy(AZ)- At least PETA is smart enough to get Victoria's Secret models to strip for their PR stunts. And no, I don't want to disparage these women for their bodies...just for their minds. If any.

@Fish Out of Water- Wait, "rale splice"?! I'm not familiar with the term, but if the Dems are against it, I'm for it.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Laura D- Oh, if I create two posts I'll probably use both. At this moment (drinking my morning coffee) I have no idea yet what I'll be doing. Gulp.

REM1875 said...

It's gonna be a long day .........

We are gonna need a bigger boat (one way or the other)

John the Econ said...

More from the "Oh, thank you for making it so clear to me now" file:

Chelsea Handler Goes Nude to Urge America to ‘Vote Like Your Life Depends on It’

She says that Republicans don't care about rape. Actually, we tend to get quite upset about rape. Many of us actually believe that rapists should be put away for life, if not executed. (It's the left that seems to go soft on prosecuting violent crime) It's just the "fake" rape that we don't care about.

Gee M said...

Dems win, humanity loses...I had to put on a cap I could tighten so's my head wouldn't essplode;I AM that dwarf...Snow White better just keep away right now.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Well, the Dims have just ensured four more of The Donald. And they'll be so busy repeatedly trying to pass articles of impeachment, they won't have time to get up to actual mischief, so I fail to see an actual problem.

Popular Front said...

Somebody has been heavily influenced by Electric Ladyland s far as I can see.

Liberty Card said...

Gee, what happened to the illegal immigrant invasion story?