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Friday, November 16, 2018

Ladies Daze

Although it wasn't intentional, it seems that today's cartoons are all closely associated with women and women's issues. Not that we mean to assume anyone's gender...

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, michelle obama, tears, cried for 30 minutes, fuck her, inauguration

Michelle Obama is back on the publicity circuit (not that we're sure she ever left it), and recently told oppressed billionaire Oprah Winfrey that, following Trump's inauguration, the former first lady boarded the departure helicopter and wept for 30 minutes. Which is apparently how long it takes to roll out the drink cart on Marine One.

She didn't mention if Barry also shed a few tears or, just possibly, banged his head on the floor like a spoiled toddler while screaming through the tears and snot cascading down his "angry face."

Michelle's current high profile is fueling speculation that she may be laying the groundwork for a presidential run in 2020 - a task she might find a bit easier now that another contender looks like he's going down in well-deserved flames...

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, avenatti, assault, tucker carlson, stormy daniels

In one of the quickest and most appropriate cases of Karmic smackdown we've seen recently, creepy porn lawyer (and Democratic presidential hopeful) Michael Avenatti has been accused of repeatedly punching a woman in the face, with security personnel witnessing the immediate after effects of the beatdown while Avenatti screamed at the victim in anger.

This is the same a**hole who talked aging porn performer Stormy "I'll Do Anything For $5" Daniels into suing Donald Trump (and losing), brought forth false testimony from a bimbo claiming that Brett Kavanaugh was a gang rape mastermind (which not even the Democrats believed), and now finds himself with yet another high profile political case: in a restaurant, a male board member of a feminist organization (!) berated newscaster Tucker Carlson's daughter as a "whore" and a "f*cking c*nt" when she committed the unforgivable sin of walking past his barstool. Carlson's son then threw a glass of wine in the nitwit's face and told him to get the hell out - which he did.

So serial liar and alleged woman-beater Avenatti has subsequently taken the male feminist who believes women are whores and c*nts as a client, in order to charge both Tucker Carlson and his son for assault and battery using an unexceptional bordeaux.

Oh sure, it all sounds crazy. But when it comes to truly spectacular lunacy in Washington, there's a whole new show in town...

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, ocasio-cortez, intern, nuts, socialist

Socialist Representative-elect Alexandria "Way Too Much Caffeine" Ocasio-Cortez is already dismayed with Washington because, during early orientation, people keep assuming that she's just a young, clueless intern instead of a young, clueless member of Congress.

We've already heard from her own frighteningly toothy mouth that Cortez foolishly believed she would be "inaugurated" into her new job, and that she would suddenly have the power to sign bills into law. So perhaps she also assumed that she would have automatically received an aura of political power and authority which the rabble would be able to recognize from afar, no doubt shielding their eyes from the magnificent glare as they hastily knelt in her presence.

But nooOOooo. It turns out she just looks like any other ambitious, over-amped jerk in a city which was already crawling with them.

We sincerely look forward to her future crushing disappointments.

39 comments:

Ed Nelson said...

Outstanding !

Gee M said...

I need the mailing address of her cardboard box...

Section147 said...

Three favors, Stilt;

1). Let's out this Juan Granados jackass.

2). The fewer pictures of the psycho gopher's teeth, the better.

3). Don't subject Busty to the racist tranny's hateful gaze EVER again!

Thank you.

mamafrog said...

Guess Michelle/Michael was in tears 'cause her loony husband didn't get another term (Thank You Jesus!!) which I'm sure he thought he was entitled to and would automatically be ushered into by all the people's love because he was so great. Man, I'm seriously in bitch mode this week so I better stop writing now, lol. I got caught up in a pointless argument with some brainless nits on ughtube because I dared to express an opinion about someone using a term. I disagreed with a video which described Down's Syndrome as a disease. To me it's a condition caused by faulty genetics, a disease is the plague or the flu, maybe even cancer. Good grief, the person who posted the video didn't say anything but the asinine little dweebs crawled out of the snot pools about my comment. So yes, I argued back and I shouldn't have. I've dealt with someone who had the body of an adult and the mind of three year old, with the attitude to match, for over twenty years. I get a little irritated when someone decides I don't know anything about it. I'm practically a frickin' expert now. Sorry, that was so off topic. Maybe I need to go look at that cartoon about M/M again so I can laugh some more. Guess I'm gonna be roasting in hell someday.

James Daily said...
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James Daily said...

The best line I have read in a while:
"I'll Do Anything For $5" Daniels
(Like Get off the table, Mable, the quarter was for the beer.
The Bill and Hill Stadium Tour has tanked because of "slow ticket sales." Ya think? What those two will not do for a dime hasn't been created yet.
Ocasio-Cortez can't afford a D.C. apartment, maybe after her $172K salary kicks in she can stay at YWCA or YMCA, according to the time of the month.
Don't you love it when our favorite shyster needs a shyster?
Think I figured out why Dems have so many voters: 44 Million owe $1.5 Trillion in student loans and dems keep saying they be the forgiving type.
("From 2006 to 2018, average federal student loan interest rates were: 4.81% for undergraduates. 6.38% for graduate students. 7.44% for parents and graduate students taking out PLUS loans")
LBJ said it best: "When you got'em by the balls, their hearts and mind will follow."

Those cartoons were Greaaaaaaaaaat. (A little Tony the Tiger lingo.)

Geoff King said...

Mark Dice's new video also deals with Avenatti's circus act, as well as Acosta's serious lack of respect and decorum, and Michael Obama's new book (gotta love the Photoshopped arm!):

https://youtu.be/hiKg_azTOPg

Regnad Kcin said...

For the trifecta : Nancy Peloosi now claims that She Alone saved the country from wreck and ruin. Be still my pounding heart. Spilled my Canadian coffee when I heard that all over my bangers and eggs this morn. Now, douche canoe lawyer is demanding "Due Process" in his latest episode of foot in mouth BS. Maybe he can get Mr. Kavanaugh to hear his case. This just keeps writing itself..........

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Gee M: Occasional Cortex has moved from her cardboard box into Nancy Pelosi's waiting room, so you can write her there:

Clueless Skank
c/o Evil Bint
House of Repressed Entatives
Washington, DC

REM1875 said...

"....people keep assuming that she's just a young, clueless intern...."

I got the feeling this is no mistake ...........Might be different if she asked a Republican for directions ....

Anonymous said...

I seldom comment but often visit and today you NAILED it!
Well done!


You forgot to mention that Cotex was all aflutter over finding out the hard way "meaning she already knew" that her new appointment as queen came with no FREE HOUSING and no paycheck until she is "seated" in Jan. 2019 so she and her "partner" don't know HOW they will live off their savings for 1 WHOLE MONTH!!!!

OHhhhh the AG-O-KNEE!!!!
Where oh where is my Go-Fund-Me-Page, or for that matter, a lobbyist looking for a vote to buy?

Fish Out of Water said...

Love the zinger about the former, thank God, First Lady.

Fish Out of Water said...

About DC salaries. I'm going to go against the grain and defend them. First, what is a decent salary depends on where you live, thus a 172K salary might be eye-popping in say, the midwest, but its a yawn in NYC, Silicon Valley or DC.

What drives salaries to otherwise sky-high heights in DC is housing and given the nightmare of commuting to and from DC, the desire to be as 'close in' as possible.

So let's say you've got a salary of 172k, you have a house 'close in', in a good school district, you're married and have say 2 or 3 children and are saving for your retirement and your children's education... on 172K you'll get by, but you also won't be taking yearly winter vacations to the Caribbean either.

Fish Out of Water said...

@mamafrog: Much can be read into our former (thank God) First Lady's tears, but the abrupt shock of one day being, and 24 hours later being... is probably a hard adjustment.

To illustrate this, when Harry Truman found himself and his wife all by their lonesome at the Independence, MO train station after their journey out of DC as ex-President and ex-First Lady, both carrying their own luggage, the thought was along the lines of 'WTF do we do now?'.

Dizzy245 said...

Mitchell Marmel "Occasional Cortex" 🤣 You caused me snort coffee onto my keyboard!! I live for the time I can work that into conversation. Thanks.

Fred Ciampi said...

Mah neighbor wuz cleaning his still fer the season and found eleven boxes of uncounted demoncrtic ballots....

Bruce Bleu said...

The juxtaposition of Moochzilla with Busty was almost more than my gag-reflex could stomach, but thanks that it wasn't Chewchilla alone!

TrickyRicky said...

Occasional Cortex, the future of the Democrat Party. Kind of says it all doesn't it?

John the Econ said...

Michelle Obama: Yeah, I too have a hard time shedding a tear for Michelle Obama. Unfortunately, Donald Trump was the price to be paid for not building a better legacy than the one her husband left for America. Perhaps a bit more nationalism instead of tribalism might have worked out better.

Creepy Porn Lawyer: Once again, my favorite aspect of the Trump era is the rapidity in which karma swings back at Progressives. Normally, you have to wait years for this kind of justice.

But don't hold your breath waiting to hear the apologies from Progressives for the transparently unfair treatment of Kavanaugh that they enthusiastically cheered for. Because just as quickly as karma has been swinging back at Progressives lately, they've been shoving unpleasant memories down the memory hole and shamelessly move on to the next phony thing.

Occasional-Cortex: So the voters from Queens have blessed Congress with a real-life Lefty Lucy! I hope @Stilton has subscribed to her Twitter feed, because for the next 4 years the comics will be writing themselves.

It will be interesting to see if the Democratic leadership (such as it is) can reign her in as it does most newbies, or if she'll be the bull in the china shop we all hope she will be. Fun times ahead. Personally, I'm optimistic. She's supposedly the poster child representative for the millennial generation. It's my hope that she'll embarrass these kids enough to move on with their lives and embrace the #WalkAway movement.

What do all three of these unhinged people have in common? They somehow think they represent the future of the Democratic Party. Personally, I think that's great as long as that does not mean the future of the country as well.

Angler Bill said...

Something tells me that Ocasio-Cortez is going to turn out to be a humorous conservative blogger's dream.

Navyvet said...

O-C was thrilled and elated when Bill Clinton hit her up for a BJ. Then someone told her Slick just hit up Ruth Bader Ginsberg for a BJ as well.

mamafrog said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mamafrog said...

@Fish Out Of Water Oh, I totally get it might be a case of "WTF do we do now", but something tells me it's more a reaction to loss of privilege than a let down to a job's ending. Methinks those were crocodile tears. They were both riding pretty high with being media darlings and just basically stamping their feet to get everything they wanted, almost.

I suspect that with most other presidents it was "I'm tired, can I go home now and put my feet up?" rather than, "Oh woe is me, nobody to wait on me 24 hours a day". Yes, I have an extremely cynical attitude to this couple mainly because I'm tired of having the "Rainbows out of their asses" attitude shoved down my throat by people who should know better.

Big deal, young, basically good-looking (if that's your taste), supposedly every utterance is a pearl of joy types just rub me the wrong way. I might be more inclined to believe them had they seemed more sympathetic to the people instead of every photo opportunity they could find. "Oh, look at me, I'm just a poor normal guy stuck in a thankless job." They were strictly acting a role and it had no substance.

This attitude showed so often in Barry's attitude towards those he thought could do something for him and those who couldn't. And his photo ops were not spontaneous, they were carefully orchestrated by his handlers.

And here's an article about the difference in Harry Truman leaving and Obama and his sweetie pie

https://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/02/opinion/02iht-edjacoby.4775315.html

https://www.forbes.com/sites/taxanalysts/2014/04/23/its-good-to-be-the-ex-president-but-it-wasnt-always/#3897bc2e10af

mamafrog said...

Do you suppose Occasional Cortex is there to take our minds off the fact that there is a "progressive" Muslim woman who has an axe to grind that has been voted into office? I'm not anti-feminist, I grew up in the era when it started and I fought for many of the things that were originally believed in, but the crap load the term hauls around now just makes me grind my teeth in irritation. Job equality and pay yes, definitely, the right to be treated like a human being with dignity and respect, yes, not to be touched or harassed by anyone in any way, most definitely, and certainly not to be discriminated against because of my sex, beliefs, religion, or skin color, for absolutely damn sure. I would hope every person can get those changes into their lives. But I'm really tired of the Muslim agenda in this country being pushed at the expense of other changes. Especially for it's track record of how it treats every one who isn't male and adult.

Judi King said...

Calling these people ladies is kind of an oxymoron.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

You're all pretty much missing Moochelle's point. She was crying, not over the spilled milk of Hussein Øbama's failed attempt to usher in a new era of antiprosperity and hand the USofA over to the Muslim Brother hood, lock, stock, and infidel. Noooooo, She was crying because Trump was elected. RESIST! and all that, wot? C'mon! Get real! What president for the past 46 years or so has left the presidency to a life of anything but the lap of lush, lascivious luxury?! IT's why millionaires and billionaires are all that are qualified for political office these days (democrats get on-the-job training). They're the only ones who can afford to runn!

In any case, Moochelle had o reason for tears, there! She's set for life. No. She was making a STATEMENT! I can understand the confusion, though. Wookiee is a very difficult language to master. Even the nuances are nuanced...

Gee M said...

You can put lipstick on a Wookie, but...


https://www.pinterest.com/pin/12033123974129894/

Rod said...

Unfortunately there are a lot of young ones just like O-C out here. She just had the connections , timing, $ backing, social capital qualifiers, Trump-hate, etc (whatever) to get herself elected. It's a troublesome trend. She will probably have done better doing a morning work-out or cooking show on TBD network.

valvenator said...

Blogger Gee M said...
You can put lipstick on a Wookie, but...
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/12033123974129894/
What ya sayin'?
You can't put lipstick on a Wookie's ass?...:)

Mike Porter said...

Stilton: Whenever I see a photo of that Occasional Cortex broad all wide-eyed with that, as you so accurately observe, 'frighteningly toothy mouth', I can't help but hear Arnold Schwarzenegger screaming "get in the boat!". Is it just me?

Boligat said...

The "housing problem" is easily fixed.
Step 1: Disband the Department of Education.
Step 2: Turn the DoE headquarters building into a giant housing project for congress. Make a small room about equal to a Trappist monk cell for each member of congress. Each room exactly the same as all the others.
Step 3: Require ALL members of congress to eat, sleep, live, work, etc. in that building, meeting only in chambers to conduct actual votes. Communal cafeteria for all. No families. All visitors are televised live for all the world to see on the net.
Step 4: Reduce the pay to $25,000 dollars (if that much). You want more? Go to work in a useful job.
Step 5: End the congress term on November 10. Lose and you have to be out by the 11. New members of congress can move in on November 15.

Rod said...

@ Boligat. I little harsh perhaps; but I like the plan just fine. We send a few pretty good people up to congress and also a few rascals from the start... but after a term or two they are all entrenched blowhards. And what really P's me off is they try to take us for fools.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Rod: Seconded. I like the plan just fine as well.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- Once again, life's circumstances (none of them interesting) have kept me away from these comments long enough that I'm hopefully behind in responding. I'll just say that I enjoyed every last one of them. I'm always pleased but never surprised by the wit, wisdom, and erudition here!

Judi King said...

Ditto to Boligat, etc. Congress was never meant to be a full time lucrative career.

Boligat said...

@Rod, M. Mitchell, Judi:

Thanks for your comments.

Updated Plan:

Step 5: End the Congress term on October 31, after all, they've been tricking us since the previous election, it's time for our treat. EVERYBODY vacates the premises for deep cleaning, even senators that aren't up for re-election. When they get back from their break, they can draw again for 'housing'. If they are lucky, they will get a cell. . . er. . . room, closer to the communal head.

I would go so far as to allow them to enter the drawings under one of three categories: Male, Female, Other. Then have different floors for each.

James Daily said...

Actually there needs to to be an R and D dorm separate. If not the Ds will keep the Rs up all night screwing each other.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@James Daily: When they're not screwing the American public, you mean. :D

Boligat said...

@James Daly: That's why there are cameras in every hall way broadcasting live online images of everyone and everything that goes into and out of each door.

But I get your point.