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Wednesday, March 6, 2019

Expiration Candidates

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, 2020, candidates, Hillary
If Cory Booker had hair, it should be standing on end about now.
Hillary Clinton has officially declared that she is not running for President in 2020, but says will take an active role by working with the candidates in the crowded Democratic field. In much the same way, we believe, that John McClane took an active role working with the terrorists at Nakatomi Tower.

Mind you, we do believe that Hillary has no intention of "running." This is, after all, a woman who has to pay heavily-muscled men to carry her up and down stairs when not dragging her limp body into a waiting getaway van after a public appearance.

But not for a second do we believe she's given up her all-encompassing obsession with becoming President. Rather, we expect her to maintain an active public profile while all the other Dems batter each other on the stump, after which she'll step out on the blood-soaked battlefield and graciously accept the "draft Hillary" movement which someone with no traceable connection to the Clinton Foundation has thoughtfully and generously funded.

41 comments:

Mike aka Proof said...

Clinton, with her family's meaning of "is" is mentality, could simply be saying she's not running "now".
I'll believe it if she follows through on her word, which I doubt.

Keith said...

Were her lips moving when she made that promise?

REM1875 said...

Fool me once ......shame on you......fool me twice .......shame on me ..........fool me 3728 times ain't happening !!!

REM1875 said...

Just like all the other times she will hear there are at least 3 people who want her to run and she will claim the roar of the people demanding she run changed her mind........again..

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Considering how well it worked last time, I say go for it! :D

Velveeta Processed Cheese Food said...

I'd say you have it about right, Stilt. Unless she knows something about her health we don't. But I'll believe it when I see it.

Jim Irre said...

There was alcohol involved!

Dr. Roger Harris said...

Pro-Billary voters are in DRASTIC NEED of a check-up from the neck up.
Ignorance can be educated...
Insanity can be medicated...
But there ain't no cure for STUPIDπŸ™„πŸ˜œπŸ˜‹πŸ‘ŽπŸ‘ŽπŸ‘ŽπŸ‘Ž

Rod said...

One flaming arrow in her while stumping for the cameras at a Native American gathering should send the alcoholic old bag up like a SpaceX rocket. It's a fun cartoon vision anyway. She will provide material for a lot of jokes.

Fish Out of Water said...

According to Fox News this morning, the vile, disgusting, venal serial pathological liar, who has helped poison our political system, has walked back her statement.

Fred Ciampi said...

What? Killery run again? She won't announce it until about 42 minutes before the polls open and she'll have 'kneepads' Bill by her side. At least that will ensure a win for President Donald Trump. I just love saying President Donald Trump.

Geoff King said...

Yup, a brilliant move on her part. She can sit back and watch the other 127 candidates battle it out and further divide the party. Then, at the last minute and without debating a single issue, she and her hot sauce can step up to the plate as the great unifier and say "I ain't no ways tarred of running for president".

Murphy(AZ) said...

Do you suppose Crazy Uncle Joe has started sticking pins into his Hillary! Voodoo doll yet?

Casey Carney said...

Could you imagine the panic if a couple of the older farts like crazy Bernie and Fauxchohontas suddenly inexplicably tipped over? Especially if they had had a strategery session with Hillary recently? The rest of the field would be soiling themselves!

TrickyRicky said...

I don't care who eventually crawls out of the Democrat clown car. With their pitiful, moronic and self-serving antics in Congress becoming too insane for even casual voters to ignore I predict a Trump victory, including the mythical national popular vote, and the Pubs retake the house.

CDH said...

With the current crop of idiots and extreme leftists, she could paint herself as the 'moderate demon-crat' coming out of retirement to rescue the country. It is actually a pretty good strategy, and that worries me.

NaCly Dog said...

I want a "Run, Hillary, Run!" bumper sticker.

For my front bumper.

Pennoak said...

Maybe she'll stomp for Bernie this time instead of on Bernie. I see a lot of Micky Mouse Millennial's rootin' for ol' Bernie again. Such a sad state of affairs.

James Daily said...

Considering how well her speaking tour went, I am all for this crook running, especially if she were in prison. Then, what kind of wannabee would like her support as she is the kiss of death. I can assure you that all those running are also running away from her. Then there is the stupidest question so far this year: Will Bernie ask for her input for his campaign? When will our judicial system enforce the laws she has broken? When will Anyone investigate her getting many millions from Russia? When will anyone investigate the Clinton "charity"? Personally, I am smooth wore out with her and her cronies not being held accountable for any of her shenanigans.

Rod said...

Addenda to my comment earlier: It's strange how things converge. Today also happens to be the first anniversary of Elon Musk's Falcon Heavy launching a Tesla car into orbit. Perhaps the best show-off move ever; made Trump look silly. Less than a year later they recently docked a soon-to-be-manned orbiter to the Intl. Space Station. They've been carrying resupply packets up there for a long time. And they also have dozens of successful booster returns to a vertical landing pad. Let the wheels spin a bit, and what do we have?

Shrillary launchs like an alcohol fueled rocket; but then lands on her feet at the next campaign stop in Red Square since that venue worked so well for Trump. "My God" (spoken in Russian) "She's a Space X Rocket Robot".

The only way to respond to this lying bitch now is with ridicule. Stilt: Can you work Leftie & Busty into this draft Screenplay for an animated short?

Terry Johnson said...

Now I think y'all are being a bit harsh on the lady. She doesn't lie that much. Was it a lie when she ran for Senator in her "native" state of New York and declared she had no intention of using that as a stepping stone to the Presidency? Was it a lie when, having to step aside for BHO, she declared that she was thrilled to be named Secretary of State? Was it a lie when she said she landed under sniper fire in Bosnia? Was it a lie when she said a YouTube video caused the murderous rampage in Bengazi? I mean, c'mon folks! WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE???

Brie Camembert said...

I think the ol' biddy should run for President - of the United States Penitentiary, Administrative Maximum Facility Inmates Association. Measure her up for the orange pant suit guys!

Fish Out of Water said...

Diverging a bit from the thread and thinking beyond 2020, assuming Trump is reelected he will of course be another lame duck President. This is significant as being the larger than life personality he is, he has pretty much consumed all of the oxygen in the room.

Sure the logical assumption is the banner would pass on to VP Pence, but what sort of presence does he have (yes, know VP's are to seen, not heard)? And yes, 2024 is quite a way off, but who besides Pence could the GOP offer to the voters? Could be Bobby Jindal, but doubt he's really electable.

Sortahwitte said...

The only thing for sure about felonia von pantsuit and bj is don't count them out. Evidently, they are holding a lot of people by the wee-wee. There are 2 directions for those people (1), go along to get along or (2), arkancide. They are yellow pond scum and I believe justice will eventually find them. If I didn't have that to hold on to, I believe I might have to go back on the wellbutrin xl. There are side effects beside death, however, it makes you take a leak without un-zipping.

John the Econ said...

I wouldn't count her out either. I think @Stilton is right; she's just going to remain propped up in the wings while the various 3-dozen or so unelectable communists beat each other senseless in their freebie-giveaway bidding war while alienating at least 2/3rds of the country. At that point, conventional wisdom has it that Joe Biden (the supposed "adult supervision" of the party) would step in to save it. Except he's hampered by the fact that he's an old, creepy white guy from the last century. Then Hillary will pop out on stage as the "sane" choice, because she's "experienced" and at some point had a vagina.

Far fetched? Any more far fetched than the idea of Donald Trump as President in 2015?

From the "World's biggest egos" and "Why can't they just go away" files:

Obama Says the Country Needs to ‘Train a Million Baracks and Michelles’

"Barack Obama, promoting the non-profit foundation that bears his name, suggested the need to “train a million Baracks and Michelles” to instill hope in these troubling times."

I can't imagine anything we need less; a million more economically and self-righteously useless people trained to do nothing other than to complain all day. Quite frankly, I'd much rather let in another million economic refugees through the border. At least most of those people are willing to do actual work for a better life, instead of whining for other people to give them one.

udaman said...

She should start worrying now. Once she has officially used up all her political capital, she will become useless to her backers. They will move on to somebody with a better return on investment ratio.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Mike aka Proof- Well THAT didn't take long. Now Hillary is saying that she's surprised "people took my remark at face value" and actually remains open to the idea of running depending on the results of the Mueller report. Or the obstruction report. Or the analysis of Trump's tax returns. Or...

@Keith- I think you've hit on a key point.

@REM1875- If Hillary said the sky was blue and water was wet, I would seriously have to rethink my position on those ideas.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- Actually, last time she came way too close for comfort.

@Velveeta Processed Cheese Food- I'm pretty sure that Hillary is so stuffed with youthful organs from Haitian orphans that she expects to live a long time.

@Jim Irre- I wouldn't bet against it.

@Dr. Roger Harris- I agree. And there is no ignorance so deep and offensive as willful ignorance.

@Rod- While I don't condone intimations of violence in this comment section, your description is so delightful that I can only tip my hat to you. (grin)

@Fish Out of Water- If you could magically look through the computer right now, you'd see I'm wearing my shocked face. Not.

@Fred Ciampi- If Hillary is breathing, she's in the race. That includes if a machine is doing the breathing FOR her. And it's fun for me to capitalize "President" again after 8 years of referring to president Obama.

@Geoff King- Speaking of being "in no ways tarred," Hillary apparently dragged out her Amos and Andy accent again a couple of days ago while (ahem) not campaigning.

@Murphy(AZ)- No way to know for sure unless we see him with a lot of bandaids on his fingers.

@Casey Carney- For efficiency's sake, I think Hillary will arrange a little surprise during a Democrat debate, when they're all within a single blast radius.

@TrickyRicky- I think/hope you're right. Trump won NOT because of his great qualities, but because the Dems are such corrupt assholes. The fact that they're now being even more transparently corrupt and asshole-ish just might guarantee a Trump second term.

@CDH- That would worry me, except for the fact that there's not currently a market for "moderate" Democrats. If we take Hillary's murderous inclinations out of the equation, I actually think a socialist (avowed or not) will be the Dem candidate.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@NaCly Dog- Now I want one, too!

@Pennoak- I think Bernie has more appeal to young voters than Hillary does, although why either of them has ANY appeal is beyond me.

@James Daily- I agree that no candidate is likely to solicit Hillary's advice, at least in public. And I, too, wish we'd finally see Hillary and her cronies put on trial for their innumerable crimes. Until that happens, it's hard to be anything but cynical about the whole process.

@Rod- Considering the amount of time Hillary spent with some metallic contraption under her jacket, I'm not convinced she DOESN'T have a rocket engine under there. Useful when she's about to be served a subpoena...

@Terry Johnson- Thanks for putting my cynicism into perspective (grin)!

@Brie Camembert- If the campaign finance charges against AOC are true, she could be Hillary's VP of cellblock D!

@Fish Out of Water- You ask a great question, but truthfully I can't look that far into the future anymore. Politics are so chaotic now that I can't really predict where we'll be when FRIDAY gets here.

@Sortahwitte- I will never count the Clintons out until they've been six feet under for a year or more. And as far as Wellbutrin goes, it may well be the drug that rewired my brain for spasticity (which has improved but not abated). On the plus side, I don't need Depends yet.

@John the Econ- Bingo. If Hillary isn't "running" it's because she's waiting. There are no other possibilities, period. And regarding another million Barack and Michelles, I'd sooner be invaded by martians.

@udaman- I'd agree, only I think Hillary has a lot of political dirt on her backers...and their knowledge of what happens to people who cross her.

Colby Muenster said...

Shrillary had the protection of the FBI, Obammy, and Justice Department in 2016, and still lost. Now Comey's gone, Barry's gone, and Lynch is gone. Is she ruthless, scary and able to defy the law? Yup! But this time around, she might not even come close to the popular vote. Leastways, you'd like to think so. I'd give my left nut (hell... BOTH nuts... don't use 'em anymore) to see another all red but one state electoral map like Reagan's re-election.

And, y'all are right. She has zero intention of NOT running. She's just gonna wait for the dust to clear from the 87 other candidates trying to "out-socialist" each other, then zoom in and "save" the party. Then Bernie can get "Clintoned" again (if he lives that long).

@Geoff King,
I love hearing that audio clip! "Ah ain't in no ways tarred..." of pandering to blacks that is. Sad that more blacks don't see through her like a freshly Windexed window.

Sortahwitte said...

It would be worth $20 Confederate to see burnie get crapped on by cankles again. Ooh Eeh!

Old Cannonballs said...

The one who scares me is Michelle Obama. If she were to throw her hat in the ring, it would be Twilight Zone time for sure.

James Daily said...

Uh, Cannonballs, would not that be Michelle throwing her helmet into the ring?

Fish Out of Water said...

@ Old Cannonballs: Should the wife of America's worst electoral mistake since the peanut farmer from Plains, Ga and first pop Marxist POTUS run, rather that Twilight ZOne, it would be Wild in The Streets come to life.

Judi King said...

I did see a clip some time ago of Killery saying she wasn't going to run in 2020 but she'd like to be president. Seemed kind of a thinly veiled intent to me.

Rod said...

@Judi: Just imagine Foster Brooks at his best act but with a "V" as primary qualification; and can't really talk about anything else. Running for President again? Laughable.

Anonymous said...

@Stilton Jarlsberg.
I liked your comment on how nice it was to refer to the President and not just president Obama. For most of the Obama years I referred to Barrack and Michele as the "resident of the United States and the first looter."

Jeffersonian

Gee M said...

At this point, the Ass Party is hemorrhaging proprietary voters ... Black voters are diggin' on Trump, and Omar/Talib are bringing their inherent deep-rooted racism and anti-semitism to their Socialist surface...Liberal Jews have heard and seen this BS before; Jews may not own everything they are accused of, but many are heavily invested in the Capitalist system,
Talk about shooting oneself in the foot...

John the Econ said...

It's worse than that, @Gee M:

Progressives come to Omar's defense

They can't even come up with a simple resolution to condemn transparent antisemitism. Instead, they try to make it about phony Islamophobia. At best, their resolution addresses and blames every anti-Semite in history, except the ones currently in their own company.

Want more Trump, Democrats? Because this is how you'll get more Trump.

Gee M said...

With so many Obongo-era holdovers, the Ass Party don' like Israel so much...I do believe no Dims were at the Embassy dedication in the City of Light. Ivanka looked so good!
I follow a lotta stuff online, and watch Fox when I can.
Sarsour took a cred hit with getting kicked out of the Pussy Hat parade, as did her Black cohort and Farrakan protege; Islamotards Ilhan Omar and Rashida Harbi Tlaib are all the American Jihad have, working the crowd from the House...
I don't think the Left will have the numbers come 2020, and Trump Love seems to be spreading like STDs in Berkley!
Tlaib and Pistacio-Coronary are sweating campaign finance investigations, and Omar blew her cover. The left is in a state of disrepair!
MAGA.

Fish Out of Water said...

Perhaps a lead in to tomorrow's post, but between sips of coffee I read the antisemite from Minnesota has her allies who apparently have blocked the promised resolution condemning antisemitism. Guess Nan has more bark than bite. And were I a democrat moderate I'd be thinking about either bolting the party for the GOP or along with others, declaring as independents.

And for the neo-brown shirt from Minnesota, this resolution, lacks. A censure motion is the message to send to all haters.

Colby Muenster said...

I just saw that some other Democrat politician has announced he isn't running for POTUS (sorry, can't remember his name - lost in the crowd). Apparently it's going to be easier to keep track of who isn't running than who IS running. Hell, by the time the debates roll around, the Dims are going to need to book NFL stadiums for them. And still the candidates may outnumber the spectators!

Republican debates? They need to hold ALL of them at Fox News.

No big surprises about the Dims circling the wagons around reprehensitive Omar. Will Jewish folks finally wake up, stop voting for the party that hates them, and start voting for the party that finally recognized that Jerusalem is the capital of Israel?