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Friday, March 29, 2019

The Great White Hoax

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, jussie smollett, hate, hoax, lawyer, whiteface, empire
Astounding, isn't it?!
We're pressed for time today, but just couldn't pass up this particular story. In the aftermath of hate-hoaxer Jussie Smollett suspiciously getting his 16 felony charges dropped by Chicago prosecutors (and Smollett and others claiming this proves he was telling the truth all along), people want to know why Jussie's friends, the Osundairo brothers, confessed to committing the fake attack.

Obviously, the only way both stories could even remotely be true was if Smollett actually believed the two Nigerians were white racist Trump supporters who routinely carry bleach and nooses during late night arctic cold snaps, waiting for gay black actors to emerge from a 24-hour sandwich shop.

To (ahem) "prove" this was a possibility, Smollett's attorney Tina Glandian said that the brothers might have been wearing "whiteface" disguises...and then produced a picture of one of the brothers wearing whiteface makeup (costumed as The Joker) to show how easily he could have been mistaken for a Caucasian. Perhaps even young Barron Trump, musician Edgar Winter, or one of the teutonic Von Trapp children from "The Sound of Music."

We won't lie: this picture is one of the most wonderful and hilarious things we've seen in ages.

And we don't know what Smollett (or Michelle Obama, Kamala Harris, Angela Davis, or George Soros) is paying that lawyer, but if she was able to present that particular picture and defense with a straight face, she's worth every penny.

30 comments:

Regnad Kcin said...

I say dunk them in a tub of honey and stake them out on an Alabama fire ant mound. Then the truth will come out......

Jim Irre said...

Welcome to Black Privilege in America.

james daily said...

I do believe Chas Barkley is right: they will all pay for this one. I will be surprised if the AG is not filed on with the lawyer board and have her law license revoked. That would be payback.

DavidD said...

The area around his eyes would have been all Jussie had been able to see, given that his “attacker” was wearing a ski mask.

Does the area around his friend’s eyes look Caucasian in that picture?

Section147 said...

Foxx is at the center of the stink here. If DJT does actually have this investigated, start the probe with her. Maybe in a hazmat suit...just to be safe.

Fred Ciampi said...

I am speechless. Today is 'drink a quart of moonshine' day.

kcmoonshiner said...

OMG!! Talk about a joke writing itself! I saw the interview yesterday and concluded that anyone who actually believed a word this woman said is a complete moron!

Geoff King said...

So, if Smollet is telling the truth, why are the two Nigerian brothers not being charged with anything?

Sortahwitte said...

I wonder what "law school" this moron attended. Do they have a class named Are you shittin' me lady? Also the award for Expectations Fulfilled to be handed to nbc. A perfect day in every way.

Anonymous said...

1) Tina is a vastly better actor than Jussie will ever be. We're clearly into Katherine Hepburn territory.

2) This is why Shakespeare said, "First, we kill all the lawyers."

Rod said...

No problem. Along with much of the third world, several states, (also encompassing their noteworthy sorry-ass cities)... we no longer have any intention of visiting, moving too, living, or spending any money in the City of Chicago. OK; I might let the lady buy a snack & a drink on a transit in some of these places; but we can plan overnights and fuel stops to be outside those territories, or camping. The small-dollar exceptions are freeway tolls which I rationalize as being worth the increased speed of transit; where we can always stop & pee there. I hope Oklahoma got good use out of the rip-off, out-of-state-plates-only, speed trap fine there about 20 years ago.. I doubt we've spent more than $100 in that often traversed state since then. The kids join the boycott as well. It's become a game with us.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Regnad Kcin- That seems like a very Earth-friendly solution!

@Jim Irre- Absolutely. Anyone who doesn't believe such a privilege exists (for elite blacks) needs to get out more.

@James Daily- Foxx is getting a lot of blowback, and I'd like to see this whole mess ripped open and exposed to the light of day. I suspect that some surprisingly high-level folks are in harm's way if the truth comes out.

@DavidD- Granted, the photo wasn't intended to recreate a real whiteface look - in this case, the wannabee actor was playing a scene as The Joker. But even if he had done the area around his eyes with clown white greasepaint, would he have looked Caucasian - or just looked like a guy wearing clown makeup?

@Section147- If investigators break Foxx, they'll break the whole story. Mrs. J informed me just minutes ago that the hastily-backtracking Foxx now says (through her office) that she didn't formally recuse herself, but only used the term "in a colloquial sense rather its legal sense." Soon, she'll also be claiming that she made the statement after bleach-throwing MAGA types put a noose around her neck.

@Fred Ciampi- It comes in quarts?! And here I've been wasting my time with pints...

@Casey Carney- People like Smollett's attorney are why lawyer jokes exist.

@Geoff King- That's a darn good question, isn't it? And here's another one: if the brothers have confessed and Jussie is sticking to his story, then why hasn't he filed a civil suit against them for beating the crap out of him?

@Sortahwitte- I assume when law schools teach "Keeping a Straight Face," they make recommend injections of botox into your laugh muscles before making official statements.

@Anonymous- Tina may be a better actor than Jussie, but St. Katherine would still kick her ass. And regarding the Shakespeare quote, there's a reason his words have survived through the centuries.

@Rod- If you buy a small drink while passing through these anti-American encampments, it all balances out if you also take a pee there. And if you're able to take a poop, you actually come out ahead.

Joe Jetson said...

So... is Jussie's lawyer saying Heath Ledger (or Jack Nicholson) was the attacker? It might be a little improbable for it to be Heath. But I could definitely see Nicholson doing it.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@joe jetson- To determine if one of the attackers was Nicholson, Jussie will need to clarify if the statement "This is MAGA country" had a tinge of acerbic irony.

John the Econ said...

I like the point that @TMay brought up on the previous post, quoting Theodore Dalrymple:

“In my study of communist societies, I came to the conclusion that the purpose of communist propaganda was not to persuade or convince, not to inform, but to humiliate; and therefore, the less it corresponded to reality the better. When people are forced to remain silent when they are being told the most obvious lies, or even worse when they are forced to repeat the lies themselves, they lose once and for all their sense of probity. To assent to obvious lies is...in some small way to become evil oneself. One's standing to resist anything is thus eroded, and even destroyed. A society of emasculated liars is easy to control. I think if you examine political correctness, it has the same effect and is intended to.”

The whole Smollett affair is insane. Arguing against anyone who says that it is not is insane. The goal here has to be to humiliate and destroy those who retain any grasp on reality, and then flush the whole episode down the memory hole as it any of it never happened. I don't think they'll be made to pay for it. Eventually, everyone will tire of it and be glad it went away.

@Geoff King asks "So, if Smollet is telling the truth, why are the two Nigerian brothers not being charged with anything?"

All because of the above. They're just actors in the play. I'm sure they've been told that they have nothing to worry about.

B.C. said...

That young lawyer must be using Sooper Gloo brand lipstick to spew that kind of bovine excrement and not have her lips fall off. It's all the rage with Leftists the world over, these days. (Plastic surgeons tried to keep it off the market, but were unsuccessful in their attempts.)

CC said...

In Smollet's defense, have you ever seen the movie "White Chicks" Where the Wayans brothers act out their innermost fantasies>

Anonymous said...

Visions of tar and feathers dance through my head.

Navyvet said...

In lawyer school I expect they teach budding sleazebags that the only thing dumber than Democrat voters are jurors. That's why lawyers come up with these totally bazaar excuses and explanations that only a juror or Democrat is stupid enough to believe.

Anonymous said...

DNA results are in! Jussie Smollett, you are NOT your mother's son

JustaJeepGuy said...

I still want to know who actually believes Smollett's story. I'm sure there are plenty of people who SAY they do, but most likely nobody really does. Too many people are just too happy that a black guy got away with something against whitey.

james daily said...

Ya hear that Kim Foxx is convicted of corruption could get 20 years? Ohhhh. Then Smollet would walk free IF he pays the $130,000 police expense for investigation - in SEVEN days? Oh, the hits just keep on coming. Heck, even Imelda Marco would not want to wear the AG shoes. Somebody had to have deep hooks in her for her to go off the rails like this. When Chicago, one of the most corrupt cities in the country thinks this is a travesty of justice, she is in deep doo-doo.




Mad celt said...

The clowns keep getting funnier in this non stop circus of the absurd!

Anonymous said...

1) It's worth seeing charges dumped against Jussie if concomitant results involve a tsunami of raw sewage on the upper echelon Dems who orchestrated the whitewash. Remember, it wasn't the burglary that directly resulted in Nixon's departure from office - it was the cover up. This is a world class f*k-up that puts Powerful Dems at each others' throats. Foxx has p!ssed off the Chicago cops and Rahm Emanuel at least. Now, hopefully she can be squeezed to rat out the others.
2) It's no surprise that Foxx can lie with a straight face.
She literally is a shyster, which is defined in one source as "an unscrupulous lawyer or politician." Lying is part of her stock in trade, a professional skill.
3)"...the only thing dumber than Democrat voters are jurors." (above)
My Dad told me that stupidity is a sought-out characteristic in voir dire. Intelligence in jurors is to be avoided.
Obama was elected twice. Res ipsa loquitor.
4) The party of treason, sedition, and theft wants our guns. That's no surprise either.
Nope.
_revjen45

Judi King said...

Is that they (the left) just don't get it or are they so agenda based that they don't care? Their insanity gets worse daily.

Anonymous said...

What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?





A Rottweiler

Gee M said...

@ Anonymous

All things considered...LOL!

John the Econ said...

@Anonymous, I'd concur except for the fact that Progressives never seem to get the kind of comeuppance that Nixon and the GOP got post-Watergate. Stuff like this just seems to get flushed down the memory hole. Remember, today most people think that it was the GOP responsible for segregation and the Democrats responsible for the civil rights movement.

Also, don't expect to see Obama & the Clinton's investigated once the Mueller report gets released and all that is left to discuss is who was responsible for the Steele dossier.

This stuff only seems to go one-way.

Merci said...

Donnie won’t investigate and get a fellow Democrat in trouble!

Merci said...

I have my bottle in hand