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Monday, October 21, 2019

Period Piece

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, national period day, menstruation, beto o'rourke, menstrual equity act, tampons

In case you weren't paying attention, Saturday was National Period Day, with crowds of woke men and women flooding into the streets (so to speak) to declare themselves "period proud," demand that we "end period poverty," and wave signs saying "tampons, not guns," which makes us wonder who the hell had been making that mistake?

And although it's easy for insensitive cretins to make sophomoric jokes about all of this, we are fortunate to live in a society where serious issues are taken seriously by serious people. Like Beto O'Rourke, for instance...

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, national period day, menstruation, beto o'rourke, menstrual equity act, tampons

Okay, we've slightly exaggerated what he had to say, but we're not kidding about Beto's hot-blooded dedication to this issue. Just consider this actual tweet...


That's right, the Irishman who pretends to be Hispanic, who wants to confiscate guns, and who promises to take away the tax exempt status of churches has thrown his support behind the Menstrual Equity Act, which is surprisingly a real thing. We're not 100% sure what the goal of the Menstrual Equity Act is, but suspect it's intended to close the menstrual inequality gap between the poor and the rich. Or, in tampon terms, the "light day" versus the "supermax" crowd.

But enough foolishness. We certainly and sincerely support women's health and hygiene, and in good conscience can not mock National Period Day since we didn't mock men when they held National Skidmark Day.

Sorry! Sorry! That was another joke! But we're going to take a deep breath, square our shoulders, and make one more attempt to present this subject in a serious, adult manner...

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, national period day, menstruation, beto o'rourke, menstrual equity act, tampons
Hey, we tried.

38 comments:

mamafrog said...

Seriously? What idiot came up with that one? And periods haven't been that big a deal for most women since I was a kid back in the dark age. Oh the films on hygiene I had to watch in school, thank God I can't really remember them anymore. Except the one about diseases you could catch. That one still haunts me. Is this schtick from a jealous man or a what? I never figured a man needed to be involved in mine unless it was to get me some chocolate (that is not a joke, either) or get out of the house. And God forbid someone ever gave me the "You must be on the rag" routine because I might have actually killed someone. All jokes aside, that is just a crass day made up by people with absolutely no class.

Dan said...

The Dems/Libs/Progs seem to be overly fixated on women's reproductive parts. From hats, to funny outfits, to "men menstruate, too" BS.
Some sort of hysteria, I guess.

Anonymous said...

Something in the water?

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Would this be a (Tam)Pax Americana?

Anonymous said...

Maybe Whitman's could put Beto's pic on the box of their special edition Sampler's Collection for the upcoming holiday season ......

Fish Out of Water said...

This is an extreme manifestation of people having run out of real ideas, going for the absurd in order to justify/validate their lives.

And speaking of such people, we all are no doubt aware of the latest from the twice failed, and profoundly unfit and unqualified POTUS candidate.

Either this evil, venal pathological liar has hidden this even uglier side of herself for all these years, or like captain Ahab, has finally gone gaga over her loss to President Trump.

Thank God for the Electoral College!

Jim Irre said...

Further withdrawal from society is warranted.

Rod said...

If you had a bad day over this and were being a little touchy; well Hell... You just can't empathize any better than that. Thank you for your support.

I get a kick out of many of these "Day" observances. When is Attention Whore Day ?

Geoff King said...

Are women in jail forced to end their sentences with a period?

Jack said...

Bravo, Stilt. Bravo!

TrickyRicky said...

Gutfeld is way ahead of this. Just notice how he ends each monologue on his Saturday evening show.

@Geoff- Nicely played!

Anonymous said...

Stilt, you are the best political satirist in America!

More info on National Period Day: https://mashable.com/article/national-period-day-what-is/

Apparently, it's not just about the ladies since "transgender men and non-binary people get their periods too." Who knew?


Alfonso Bedoya said...

....and just when I thought that Beto had finally reached the limits of his insane ideas. In the mental health world, is there a condition that tops psychopathy?

Anonymous said...

Just an end run to get the Equal Amendment passed (that puts the right to abortion into the Constitution) using a different name.

Fritzchen said...

It is painfully obvious that Puto DaDork is really A DORK!

You Have To Laugh said...

Exceptional post today! You say so much with a little humor added to make it tolerable. Well done Sir!

MAJ Arkay said...

Spousal Unit just sent me rolling, when he said, "Oh, great. Beta's Traveling Menstrual Show...

Anonymous said...

Some musical accompaniment.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSlAQIuettA

Fred Ciampi said...

I was in a bar and a fellow was putting the moves on a sweet young thing. He said "let's go back to my place". "I can't, I'm on my menstrual cycle" she said. He answered "that's OK, I have my Harley, you can follow me".

Pat Cummings said...

@Rod: See. this is the problem with imprecise punctuation. All kinds of swamp types would get hard behind your holiday if it was "Attention! Whore! Day"...

@MAJ Arkay: You are fortunate in your spouse! Mine said: "Is this the Demn's spin on trickle-down economics?"

John the Econ said...

National Period Day: What a blessed time and place we live where this is the biggest crisis people can find to be upset about.

Beto: Has he live-streamed having his own period yet? Because until he does that, I really can't take his position on this existential crisis of our age the least bit seriously.

Anonymous said...

Not only is that jumping the shark, its tap dancing on its back. Beto - BETO - time for your Meds Bro !! I missed this one - apparently, so did the media, this is 1st place I heard about it.

jayjay said...

Hilarious!!!

Emmentaler Limburger said...

So, is that the day they were the pussy hats with the shit pom-poms on 'em? Asking for a friend...

Emmentaler LImburger said...

I think those autocorrects were a communist plot. Here's what I thought I said:

So, is that the day they wear the pussy hats with the white pom-poms on 'em?

Sheesh...

Pete (Detroit) said...

In Re "Tampons not guns" I recalled a story of a young woman who had one concealed there on her way into jail. was going to see if I could find it to share. Searched 'woman with gun in vagina' and got at least a whole page of hits! Apparently, it's frighteningly common!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- I'm enjoying all of your comments but haven't been able to respond. All is fine on this end, but something suspiciously like "work" has popped up and is distracting me a bit. Odds are good that it will pass, though (grin).

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Stilton:

Manager (Northern accent):
Ooh, well I'll have you know that I'm the manager of this labour exchange.

Mate:
Pardon me, manager. Any fear of work today?

Manager:
No, you can take that broken limbs kit off.

Mate:
Only you gotta be careful these days - there's a lot of work about, matey!

Manager:
You know very well - as well as I do matey - that this labour exchange always hoists south cones when there is any danger like that.

Mate:
I gotta be careful, only three more days and I celebrate me fifty years without work.

Manager:
Fifty years unemployed? Er her her her! Good heavens! Fill in this form for your OBE.

Grams:
[Cathedral-sized bell ringing]

Mate:
Ohhh listen!

Manager:
What?

Mate:
There goes the Danger of Work bell!

Milligan:
Quick! Barricade the door!


-The Goon Show, "World War I"

rickn8or said...

Ah, yes. The Good Old Days around our house I was supposed to "step lively" or "step lightly".

I was always guessing wrong...

John the Econ said...

Speaking of people we suspect may themselves be on their period: It looks as though the world's most woke canuk gets to keep his job as Prime Minister.

I find it amazing how someone like myself who even in his indiscreet youth never had any urge or desire to dance about in blackface with bananas shoved down his pants is considered a "racist" merely for questioning any aspect of Progressive dogma, but a guy who had a history of doing so repeatedly into middle-age not only gets to remain Prime Minister, but then has the nerve to lecture a whole country about how racist it is and how electing people like himself is the only way to redeem it.

It's just more proof of my maxim of "There's nothing a Progressive can do to permanently destroy their career as long as they are faithful to the Progressive agenda".

Jack Colby said...

@Emmentaler L: I think your auto-correct was on to something.

Pat Cummings said...

@John the Econ: "...my maxim of "There's nothing a Progressive can do to permanently destroy their career as long as they are faithful to the Progressive agenda"...

Unless it threatens Killary's agenda, in which case it is fatal, c.f. Anthony Weiner, as well as the extensive list of late Progressives.

Anonymous said...

Reminds me of the old expression "That really takes the rag off of the bush."
_revjen45

Anonymous said...

Since I thoughtlessly missed National Period Day, does this mean I’m pregnant? Asking for the spouse.....

Anonymous said...

It’s turned into a bloody mess and I can’t get it to stop bleeding! My nose has been bleeding since Sat. Will this continue for the full 5 or 6 days? The folks at work started calling me Guitar Man because I have strings hanging out of my nose. My terminal at work even started printing the period in red. This has got to stop, period!

Rod said...

@ Anonymous 11:06 AM just above. LOL! Hilarious.

Colby Muenster said...

People, people.... we should be thanking God we have politicians who are concentrating on the real issues (see what I did there), like tampons for po folks, plastic straw abuse, banning large soft drinks and salt, changing the weather, making everybody drive coal powered cars, debt forgiveness for stupid people that don't understand what "loans" are, and abolishing prisons for everyone but conservatives.

But seriously....

@Anonymous,
Just curious, where exactly do transgender men put the tampon? Or maybe I really don't want to know.

@John the Econ,
Years ago I interviewed and got a job offer in the Toronto area (Hamilton). Boy am I thankful I turned it down!

Jim Irre said...

ROTFLMFAO!