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Friday, October 4, 2019

Phuket Friday

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, phuket, festival, piercing, religion, trump, impeachmentWith all of the aggravating news lately, we thought that it would be a good idea to devote today's blog to something more positive, uplifting, and spiritual. We're speaking, of course, about the 2019 Phuket Vegetarian Festival which is happening right now in Thailand. If you hurry, you can still catch it!

Among the various non-meat-eating events at the Festival, a particular crowd-pleaser sees celebrants parading through the streets with a variety of surprising objects jammed through their cheeks and mouths. While this may seem strange to Western eyes, there's actually a good reason for these ritualistic piercings: by impaling themselves, the worshippers draw bad luck away from the rest of the townspeople. Don't laugh - they think we're idiots for believing we can change the weather by making plastic straws taboo.
This joyful celebration reminds us of the rich variety of cultures across the globe, absolutely none of which are inferior to our own in any way, at least when it comes to sideshow-type entertainment value. And with that thought in mind, we'd like to see this colorful celebration imported to the United States. Specifically, we'd like to see it adopted by the many politicians and media types who are currently trying to overthrow the Presidency. Hey, their mouths are already wide open - and we'll happily chip in to help buy them scimitars, knitting needles, hand saws, harpoons, and post hole diggers!We're so enthusiastic about the idea that, every time we hear another fake news report or lying politician we loudly shout "Phuket!" at the television screen. Just ask our neighbors.

26 comments:

Sergio said...

More proof that "All Cultures are the Same"

Pat Cummings said...

@Sergio: However, ours is more so!

Just sayin'...

james daily said...

Stilt: Thanks for some of the oddest pic I have ever seen. It took me a minute to figure out how the Red Shovel guy did that. Meanwhile, I would bet these guys have fun drinking coffee. On the other hand, they will never overload their mouth.

REM1875 said...

Ya just can't imagine what Kamela Harris stuck in her mouth to draw the bad spirits away from the rest of us ......... Ok OK so it's really not that hard to imagine ......

Maoz said...

James daily -- I bet those guys constantly spew coffee on their keyboards with or without benefit of a groaner to set them off.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Man, the Whizzo Quality Assortment has REALLY gone nuts over the past few decades...

http://www.montypython.net/scripts/crunchy.php

Fred Ciampi said...

Funny thing is, when I first saw the picture I thought of politicians. Specifically Camel Toe Harris. Oh, my wicked thought patterns.....

Bruce Bleu said...

Well, now it's obvious where that "No soup for YOU!" comment on Seinfeld came from!

Section147 said...

“scimitars”.
Now THERE’S a word ya just don’t see everyday!

Kate said...

The red shovel??? How???

TrickyRicky said...

From what I understand Phuket Island has seen WAY more bizarre goings on than the ones pictured above. Just sayin'.

Dan said...

At least the celebrants can take the stuff out of their faces before going to their jobs as coffee shop counter help.

John the Econ said...

I'm gonna print this out and distribute it around the university. I really hate seeing when American leadership in any area is ceded to other countries. Our vegetarian hipster youth really need to up their game.

Speaking of, the non-meat eating world was not pleased this week:

There's no need to eat less red or processed meat, group says, prompting criticism

"After years of warnings about the potential harms of red meat and processed meat, including links to cancer and heart disease, a panel of experts from seven countries on Monday said people don’t need to cut down on their current consumption of products like ham, sausage, luncheon meat and bacon."

Of course, the criticism is from the usual cabal of leftist groups that wish they could force us all to go vegan because they don't like us and think they know better for us. (Animal rights and global warming are just the excuse for such fascism)

But do consider this: Scientists with decades of real observed data cannot come to any "consensus" on what healthy eating is, but other scientists armed with proxy data can tell us what the weather will be like in 100 years and declare that it's "settled science".

Pat Cummings said...

@John the Econ: All it takes it a sliding definition of "climate" to include "weather, changes in measuring technologies and the re-siting of weather record stations to warmer locations, and also to include rebound from volcanic CO2 output and any subduction-zone-earthquake releases of methane from clathrates.

Clathrate methane is a real thing, BTW—"In 2008, research on Antarctic Vostok and EPICA Dome C ice cores revealed that methane clathrates were also present in deep Antarctic ice cores and record a history of atmospheric methane concentrations, dating to 800,000 years ago." Yep, definitely man-caused...

Wait, were cows farting around by then?

For the energy implications of clathrates, see:
https://geology.com/articles/methane-hydrates/

Colby Muenster said...

So THIS is what happens when you become vegetarian?! I'll just keep on eatin' tasty animals if y'all don't mind. And John the Econ's posted link fortifies my choice.

@Kate,
I'm pretty sure the red shovel guy took the handle out of the metal part first, but if not, damn! These guys' table manners are probably a sight to behold, and not a pleasant sight either.

@Pat Cummings,
You obviously do not obtain your data from reliable source, like Al Gore or Alexandria Occasional-Cortex. I wish you'd stop posting faux facts like that. I'll also bet Snopes has found that core sample stuff to be completely false.

james daily said...

Colby: You are correct, notice the hand is holding it in place at the junction of handle and shovel.

MAJ Arkay said...

I've never scrolled past an illustration on Stilton's Place -- until now. That was almost as gross as televising a face lift on "Operation," way back when. Ewww.

Certainly makes one rethink any idea of becoming a vegetarian...

Old Cannonballs said...

Stilt, are you sure those photos were really taken in Thailand? I see people who look just like them on practically every street corner in town. They all hold hand-written (though barely legibly) signs that proclaim some variation on "Anything Helps."

Velveeta Processed Cheese Food said...

@Pat Cummings. Ruminants, including wild cattle, deer, wild sheep and goats, antelope, and the pseudo-ruminant camaloids (only three stomach chambers) have been around in their millions for millions of years passing methane from both ends. Although there are fewer of those things and more domestic cattle around today, I doubt the total ruminant biomass is much higher today than before humans had much effect on numbers. So ruminant methane production has been a part of the natural cycle for a long time and is built into the system. So, "cow farts" is just another scam for our betters to force us to behave.

Pete (Detroit) said...

My understanding (as always, I may be mis-informed) is that termite methane leads mammal sources (at least, domestic bovine) by a factor if 10, estimated?

Pat Cummings said...

@Colby Muenster: IKR! Canadians in Alberta must be burning phaux phacts in their phurnaces near Phort McMurray... They have a test project for retorting methane from buried clathrates there.

@Velveeta Processed Cheese Food: Your guesstimate is as good as any climate modeler's for the methane-producing biomass then and now. At least you're honest that it is a guess!

@Pete (Detroit): Volcanoes for CO2, termites and other myrmidons for CH4. And please note, everyone, that the one sure way to eliminate mankind's CO2/CH4 contribution is for us all to STOP BREATHING!

mjazzguitar said...

Where they have been pierced reportedly heals.
I'm trying to find more information on that.
So is this proof of spiritual entities or "mind over matter"?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Sergio- It's times like these that I can hear the echo of Paul Harvey's voice: "It's not one world..."

@Pat Cummings- 'Murica!

@james daily- Yeah, these guys would be murder at an all-you-can-eat buffet. They shove food in their mouths, then it comes out through their cheeks.

@REM1875- Sure, you laugh but she cleared up Willie Brown's enlarged prostate!

@Maoz- There's a reason none of them is wearing a white shirt.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- Great Monty Python script, and the punchline fits today's post perfectly!

@Fred Ciampi- The "shovel ready" guy makes me think of a certain politician, too.

@Bruce Bleu- Yeah, these guys will never be poster boys for Campbell's Soup.

@Section147- Really? I pretty much use it every day!

@Kate- The trick is to first stretch your cheek hole using a plow.

@TrickyRicky- Actually, they're the same goings on - just different orifices.

@Dan- Pulling this stuff out of their faces probably also helps them get through TSA checkpoints faster.

@John the Econ- I'm not unsympathetic to vegetarians who aren't strident about it. My twin brother (and yes, there's a scary concept) has been a vegetarian for decades...and very healthily so because he does it right. In his case, it's out of compassion for other beasties, which I think is a good thing. But as far as the Leftist push toward veganism goes, to heck with the lot of 'em.

@Pat Cummings- Yes, semantics play a huge role in climate science. And there ARE very real climate consequences to a lot of factors. I think it should be made more clear (though it never will be) the difference between being a "climate change denier" and a "man-made climate change denier." I'm not the first, but I'm definitely the second.

@Colby Muenster- I don't know if vegetarianism made the people do this, or whether they just can't eat meat because their mouths are already stuffed with machetes.

@james daily- Still impressive as heck.

@MAJ Arkay- True story: about 30 years ago, there was a live TV special in which surgeons were doing reconstructive work on the face of a toddler. They had just peeled the entire face off when our own toddler walked into the room and glanced at the television set. We were terrified that she would be traumatized, but instead she gleefully announced "It's a PIZZA!" and then toddled away. I literally fell to the floor laughing.

@Old Cannonballs- I think the pictures are from Thailand. If you can't trust the news media, who can you trust?

@Velveeta Processed Cheese Food- And let's not forget how awesome dinosaur farts must have been!

@Pete (Detroit)- I hadn't heard that, but it makes sense. Wood isn't exactly the easiest thing to digest...

@Pat Cummings- I think the "stop breathing" solution is what the Left plans for a lot of us.

@mjazzguitar- I don't know how well the wounds heal, but will look for information on that. Reportedly, the celebrants feel no pain because of their religious ecstasy. I believe the mind can actually control physical functions (including healing and bleeding, to a degree) more than is generally credited. The relationship between the spiritual mind and the body is genuinely fascinating.

Pat Cummings said...

@Stilton: Your reply to @mjazzguitar made me think of a scene from an RAH novel (Stranger in a Strange Land? I don't clearly recall) in a comment about worshippers who followed the procession behind an image of the transexual Anatolian goddess Cybele, and were moved to cut off their own testicles in order to become her eunuch priests.

I'm probably mangling the quote, but "think of the social pressures that made that seem like a good alternative!"

Rod said...

Phuket used to be known as (and may still be?) a good scuba destination; but I think it just dropped off my list. There's much more topside time than bottom time on such trips.

John the Econ said...

A vegetarian twin? OMG! If you two were ever to come in physical contact with each other, would the universe as we know it implode?

BTW, I don't have a problem with vegetarians in principle. (Every so often, Mrs. Econ likes to do so for limited stretches of time) However, I really do have a problem with those who would like to use the power of state to enforce their life choices upon me.