Fortunately for the homebound, there is still pleasure to be found in shopping the way we did before the Internet: reclining in an overstuffed La-Z-Boy with a calming adult beverage and another odd edition of Spensive Gifts...
ALSO IN THE NEWS: THE GREENS PARTY CANDIDATE
Yesterday Joe Biden finally received Hillary Clinton's endorsement for President of the United States, surprising a number of Washington insiders who thought she would have had him killed by now.
Apparently the former First Lady's endorsement was a direct result of a long conversation with husband Bill Clinton, who pointed out that Hillary was obliged to support any Democrat who is a member in good standing of Washington's "Stinky Pinky Club," over which Slick Willy presides.
Biden himself has not issued an official statement, but one is expected to be forthcoming as soon as he can be lured out from his pillow fort with a plate of warm cookies.
Apparently the former First Lady's endorsement was a direct result of a long conversation with husband Bill Clinton, who pointed out that Hillary was obliged to support any Democrat who is a member in good standing of Washington's "Stinky Pinky Club," over which Slick Willy presides.
Biden himself has not issued an official statement, but one is expected to be forthcoming as soon as he can be lured out from his pillow fort with a plate of warm cookies.
32 comments:
Personally, if She-Who-Shan't-Be-Obeyed endorsed me I'd stay in my pillow fort and make sure I had a gun or two with me, and maybe some sort of electronic monitoring device on her. She wants to be his running mate, a sure way to die early in your presidency if he were elected. There are so many women of questionable ethics vying to be his running mate at the moment it's turning into a circus. Guess that's the most popular old nastiness has ever been. He makes my skin crawl, yuck!!
BiteMe/Tank 2020
What a combo, Dementia/Delusional.
Hillary-ous!
"...jabs reuseable birth control pill into arch of foot, makes you limp..."
My loud snickering woke the spouse—and drove the cat under the bed!
"...rest 'em on restaurant counters while eating a bacon sandwich." Bacon sandwich specifically?
"Who shot Daddy Panda?" And why is he on that grassy knoll?
If Biden and Hillary contract the ChiCom Cruds, are we going to find ourselves in the awkward position of cheering for the virus?
Choice of 2 dozen candidates and Creepy Joe is their best shot at defeating The Donald? Still, if you spend all your time on bogus impeachment etc, I guess there's no time to think it through.
Watch the video of Hillary endorsing Joe. Look at the picture behind Hillary. Isn't that one of those pictures of Joe hugging and sniffing on some little girl? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1g6ywhDV4A&lc=z23hhp0orv3tvtx0xacdp430bepuuuepmyozswkzb0lw03c010c&pbjreload=10
Man, if my cat pooped coins like that ad, I'd probably already be retired. I'm in charge of changing the litterbox and can attest kitteh plumbing is running just fine ...
Joe Biden - why is the DNC waiting so long to declare him the candidate of choice ? Are they waiting for Joe to become cognizant again ? The debates are going to be fun to watch, never know when that Interstate Intercourse is going to begin again ...
In related news, the Biden campaign has disseminated to all of his stooges and lackeys talking points regarding Tara Reade’s allegations of sexual assault/harassment. They claim that the New York Times did an extensive investigation into these claims and came up with nothing....the same NYT that covered for Stalin’s atrocities for years (& even got a Pulitzer for doing so!).
Also cited is that the FBI thoroughly vetted oil’ Joe a number of times and cleared him. The same FBI that cleared the Clintons...and Obama? The same FBI that spied on a private citizen based on a totally made up “dossier “? At this point, I don’t believe the Feebs could find their asses with their own hands.
Hell, why have a Supreme Court at all when we have the NYT and FBI on duty looking out for us?
Ole Joe is talking to his salad? Probably the only conversation he could keep up with. Methinks that his strokes have caught up with him. His salad days are long passed. I noticed that Shrillary credited Joe with the same standards and morals that she has. Who did she kill to steal those? I suspect she threw up after making the endorsement. I did.
I do have to update you on your wonderful Pet Laminator ad above,
Many is the time when we have Lovingly adored Fluffy the Former
as she lay quietly upon our laps,
as she sat quietly upon the floor,
as she performed door stop duties admirably and quietly.
BUT there is more!
For those pets that still scamper about,
getting their hair and fur everywhere...
Are you at your wits end picking up the mountains of fur
that current Fluffy scatters about?
We now have the answer to your prayers...
The NEW
The IMPROVED-
** Shellac-A-Cat **
Never again do you have to trouble yourself with fur all over the furniture.
With Shellac-A-Cat simply apply one coat and your house will be fur free...
(One coat will usually last until molting time in about six months)
(Caution: Only apply a single coat unless you desire a new door stop).
I Loved Spencer err spensive gifts when I was young and foolish.
Time has fixed the first part, not so much the second part.
MSG Grumpy
You have finally outdone yourself, Stilt. The only Spensive Gift that didn't appear was some liniment for sore tummies. Mine is now that way after a constant outbreak of deep laughs after reading your catalog of hilarious gifts. BTW...where can I find that catalog? It's not on Amazon.......
If only the Chicoms had employed the Ant Stakes in a timely fashion......
Bold move, Hillary. At this point in the game, exactly what is the point of Democrats endorsing Democrats who have already long since won the nomination? It's rather gutless, really. Why didn't Obama and Hillary come out for someone when there was still some question as to who might win the delegates and it might have made some difference? Was there really any chance that Hillary wouldn't ultimately endorse Biden or whoever the Democrat ended up being?
Hillary's endorsement of Biden plus $5 still won't get him anything at Starbucks.
Speaking of Biden: if the Tara Reade situation is good for anything, it's for exposing the left's push of the #MeToo movement for the fraud it always was. Two years ago, the MSM breathlessly parroted every baseless allegation against Judge Kavanaugh no matter how speculative, questionably sourced or simply absurd. Today, if the MSM mentions Tara Reade at all, it's only in the most cautioned, nuanced manner.
I still question the notion that ultimately Biden will be the Democratic candidate. When you see the MSM turn on him all at once, you'll know that the memo went out that it will be someone else.
My dear friend, Stilton. After perusing the list of Spendy Gifts, I must offer an observation. I believe it's time to leash up the official dog of Stilton's Place and get the hell out of the house. Even if it's only out to the street and back.
All creation cries: "get some fresh air, man!"
I have mentioned elsewhere that the loving spouse of slow joe should have, by now, taken him by the hand and said it's time to go home. Spouses are supposed to have each other's back.
@John the Econ: remember when Barry was in the White House during March Madness ? He selected the the top seeds in each bracket! Or when he was in the senate and voted “present” on controversial bills. He was totally unwilling to stick his neck out on anything, just like the coward he is...like all the dems are.
Regarding ol Sleepy Joe: there was a time when being a sex predator was an asset and resume enhancement for the dems...what happened?
The modern version of that birth control device is Legos.
Every time the wife starts talking about another child, I scatter a few between our bedroom and the bathroom.
Works like a charm.
@Larry Hoffman: No, that's a picture of Bill pretending to sniff Hillary herself. Back when they still lived together. Might explain why she can avoid projectile vomiting as she endorses yet another filthy finger for that seat in the Oval Office...
@Petercat: In our house, it was jacks. You know, that kid-game based on a handful of the horse-disabling cavalry caltrops? In case you missed this parent-crippling game growing up... Much owier than Legos, I guarantee! Nowadays, it's an argument against getting another cat when the current old kitty passes on. Or passes another hairball...
Well, Joe DID promise to have a woman running mate, but if he picks VonPantsuit, it's proof positive that he's lost his mind. Can he be the only person on the planet who can't foresee his future should he succeed in becoming president with her waiting in the wings? The only question in my mind is, what would be her chosen method of Arkanciding him? She might actually have to think this one through a little. In this case, five 9 millimetres to the back of the head might raise suspicions. Maybe he "jumps off" the White House roof wearing a Batman costume? Fairy costume? Women's clothes? Or maybe Tara Reade has more connections to VonPansuit than just voting for her?
Probably all moot, anyway. I really don't believe Joe can beat Trump, especially if he picks the old hag.
Long live the Johnson Smith catalog.
@mamafrog- I've never liked Biden, and like him even LESS these days. He's going to HAVE to choose a running mate who would make a credible president...and I don't think the Left has any such person to offer.
@igor- You might want to start printing that on bumper stickers to beat the rush!
@michael hutson- I'll take that!
@Pat Cummings- But what could be better than waking up to the sound of murmured laughter? Unless, of course, you live alone...
@JustaJeepGuy- I can't say why (especially 30 years after writing these) but it was specifically a bacon sandwich which struck me as funniest. I'm not sure why, but it is still funnier than a "hamburger" or "club sandwich." Change my mind (grin).
@M. Mitchell Marmel- I assume this was one of those Bamboo shoots we've heard so much.
@Edam Wensleydale- I wouldn't cheer for the virus, but I could accept their untimely passing with considerable equanimity.
@Brie Camembert- Joe was the last man standing because he was supposed to be the "middle of the road" candidate with the best chance of beating Trump. Unfortunately for the Dems, Joe has been saying idiotic things for so long that they didn't notice (until too late) that he'd actually lost his marbles.
@Larry Hoffman- That picture is sure as Hell some older guy nuzzling a younger woman. I can't tell if it's Biden, or maybe Bill Clinton shnurfling on Chelsea (hey, it's not like they're actually related...)
@Anonymous- I WISH I had a cat that pooped coins! And unlike a Democrat, I wouldn't kill it and cut it open to "get all the coins at once." Regarding Biden, I have great doubts that he'll be the nominee. I definitely haven't counted out Hillary.
@FlyBoy- I'm not happy about it, but I've got precisely zero respect/confidence for the FBI. Thanks, Mr. Comey!
@Snark- I'm always surprised that when Hillary talks about morals and standards, she doesn't burst into flame.
@MSG Grumpy- I love the "Shellac-A-Cat" idea. Well, in theory...
@Alfonso Bedoya- Glad you enjoyed the Spensive Gifts! It's still my intent to turn it into a book on Amazon (rotten Xeroxed pictures and all), but I'll continue to post a few pages at a time right here first. Pretty handy for days when it's hard for me to make a regular post (I had an epic battle trying to install Turbotax yesterday).
@TrickyRicky- They should STILL load up on them to kill whatever the next godawful thing they decide to eat over there.
@John the Econ- I think Hillary endorsed Biden as (ahem) "proof" that she's not running...the better to conceal the fact that she's definitely running. Regarding Biden, I think everyone deserves a fair trial (even in the media), but the hypocrisy here is off the charts. And unlike Kavanaugh, Biden has a long, long history of being too "handsy" with the ladies. And I agree that the well-choreographed media will let us know when the string-pullers have decided to dump Joe.
@Sortahwitte- I actually get out of the house daily to walk Penny (the official dog of Hope n' Change) and Ladybug (the official dog of Daughter Jarlsberg). So apparently it's more than fresh air that my brain lacks... (grin)
@FlyBoy- I think the Dems are disappointed that Biden only violated his victim with his fingers. It seems to lack real commitment.
@Petercat- Clever!
@Pat Cummings- Ewwwww! Is THAT what the picture is?! And regarding foot-destroying jacks on the floor, I've always wondered if anti-tank barricades were inspired by jacks? They look about the same to me, except for the size.
@Colby Muenster- I think Hillary would have to use greater stealth than usual to get Biden out of her way. She'd probably have Jill Biden knocked off so that Joe would retire from office.
@Lee The Voice- The classics never die!
@Stilton: TBH, I'd rather see Jill Biden in office. She, at least, has a proven track record of punching out hecklers by herself.
"Poppa Panda" Is funnier. At least in MY head! YMMV
@Stilton: Yep, caltrops, jacks, and those anti-tank barriers known as "Czech hedgehogs" all share a vital characteristic: they land with at least one point up. If you knock them over (or scatter them as with caltrops or jacks), they remain just as effective—no matter where they land. Incidentally, caltrops are still used today against inflated tires, notably against police and drug-interdiction forces by drug runners.
BTW, has your daughter said anything diagnostic about Joe Biden's speech patterns?
Pat Cummings, I think that might take a Forensic Speech Pathologist...
Just sayin'
THAT out of the way, I agree, a professional eval might be "interesting"...
@FlyBoy, they really are the most gutless. The funny part is that they need not bother, since their followers will either justify or ignore their past anyway.
@Stilton, like they did with Bill then Hillary Clinton, the left is going to destroy what was left of feminism for another generation by sticking with Biden. Even die-hard Democrats I see are disgusted by the transparent hypocrisy. (But that won't stop them from voting for him, of course) Even for the highly TDS addled, it's pretty difficult to totally dismiss the difference in treatment heaped upon Judge Kavanaugh versus the virtual non-treatment of Biden.
This hypocrisy is also going to be another nail in the MSM's coffin.
In the meantime, it's fun to stick this transparent hypocrisy in left's face. Alinsky #4 is a bitch.
#DToo!
@John the Econ: AFAIAC, you win the Internet today with #DToo!
Wow! Are those Jane Mansfield's knees?
@Rod: Well, they can't be her HEAD... ;D
I do want a "WARNING: I BRAKE FOR JAYNE MANSFIELD'S HEAD" bumpersticker...
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