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Wednesday, November 25, 2020

Many Happy Returns

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, thanksgiving, seance

As long as this is looking like a weird Thanksgiving, we just thought we'd go for it in the cartoon above. But all kidding aside, even in a year as screwed up as this one, we all have a lot to be thankful for - and a day devoted to reflecting on gratitude is just what we've been needing. 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING to you and your family from all of us here at Stilton's Place!

OREGON OF THE SPECIOUS

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, oregon, thanksgiving, kate brown, call cops, neighbors

You may have seen in the news that Oregon's Governor, Kate Brown, is telling citizens to call the police on any neighbors who dare to have more than six people present for Thanksgiving. Which would be bad enough on its masked face, but is made considerably worse by the fact that this same Governor presided over months of street violence because she believes cops are violent thugs who shoot people just for the sheer hell of it.

To be sure, she was only offended by needless Black deaths from police violence, but what would she have Oregonians do if their neighbor with a seventh family member at Thanksgiving is Black? Should SWAT still be called in to shoot Great Grandma if she resists arrest? ("We had no choice - she wouldn't drop the greenbean casserole.")

Still, Governor Brown has accomplished one thing this Thanksgiving: she's made us awfully thankful that we don't live under her fascist rule.

THE BABYLON BEE-MINUS

Barring a major news development, we're going to be taking Friday off. But to help tide you over, we're offering up a selection of headlines which we've been playfully submitting to a user forum over at The Babylon Bee (our favorite online humor site). Enjoy!

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, babylon bee, biden, headlines

38 comments:

Pat Cummings said...

I'll #GiveThanks on Monday after Thanksgiving if nothing goes wrong, and I can get my knee surgery!

Sorry, it's more than I can do to focus on the election/transition, lockdowns, riots, over-reaching political leaders, voter fraud and vote-machine hacking, etc. with a surgery pending... I'm selfish that way.

mamafrog said...

@Pat Cummings, ditto on that, but mine is worrying about family who has failing minds and the ones with kids (or kid to be, in one case). I've done what I can by voting and now I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop...

On the other other side HAPPY THANKSGIVING Stilton and everyone on here. I know for some it isn't going to be much and my prayers go with you. Hell, my prayers are going out for everyone this year and my heart just hurts with what's going on.

Jim Irre said...

Keep the faith people. Sidney Powell wouldn't risk a stellar legal career, her liberty, and her life for no reason. The only thing standing in her way is SCOTUS.

Rod said...

I been around the cell block a few times. I'm thinking your escape from 2020 under the cover of Thanksgiving is TONIGHT; and this Friday off will give you 4 D&N's head-start. Good luck; and please send us a message from 2021. Tell us what to do.

Dan said...

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Brie Camembert said...

I went to school with Sidney Powell. Nice bloke Sid. No idea that he'd had a sex change. Modern life, eh?

Happy Thanksgiving Trumpers! Eat my shorts Dems!

REM1875 said...

It's been like that every holiday dinner since she got run down by and killed by reindeer ..........

Bobo the Hobo said...

The séance cartoon is killer! Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

NaCly Dog said...

One thingI am thankful for is your humor. It helps.

Gorgon Zola said...

Sorry, I took the ever-more-insistent rapping to be the GEheimSTaatsPOlizei at the door.
Happy Thanksgiving to all!

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Pat: Best of wishes on your knee surgery. I'm going to have to have my knees done at some point; having them ache 24/7 is for the proverbial birds.

As always, Stilton, I am thankful for the laughs you provide, and today's were sorely needed.

Now, what WAS that damned safeword again?

Edam Wensleydale said...

@Gorgon: There are about 360,000,000 reasons why the GEheimSTaatsPOlizei will never really catch on in the USA...

TrickyRicky said...

I loved the Babylon Bee submitted headline about the lack of a safe word. Classic, but with the lack of said sage word, 2020 has really stretched the limits of S&M. I cry Uncle!

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

TrickyRicky said...

Oops, SAFE word.

John the Econ said...

Mrs. Econ & I are amazingly blessed. We still have our jobs for the moment, we have a nice home and food to eat. We have many loved ones, although we won't be seeing them for the foreseeable future. You are right, @Stilton. We do have much to be thankful for even though in many ways it doesn't feel like it at the moment.

The Oregon Democratic Republic: Progressive governors are now telling us that we are to inform the state of our family, friends and neighbors for their social non-compliance. Hmmmm. For people of a certain age (or those who actually were exposed to recent history in school) that should sound familiar. Let's all be thankful that we'll soon be rid of Trump before he gets around to being the oppressive totalitarian who was going to sick the state after us like Democrats have warned us he would!

So it looks like Oregonians along with others this Thanksgiving will be getting a taste of what life was like in East Germany.

Actually, that's not quite true. At least in East Germany, life for the politically compliant was quite peaceful. The Stasi would have immediately put and end to the nonsense promulgated by BLM & Antifa, (assuming it could have happened at all) and the miscreants who would have survived that would have ended in one of their infamous institutions dedicated to punishment and attitude adjustment.

So in many ways, life under one of the world's most notorious totalitarian states was in fact better than what the "compliant" citizens of Oregon are now required to endure. In Oregon, if you want to peacefully assemble with family and friends you will face retaliation by the state. But if you want to continue to publicly gather and celebrate your rage against civilization and destroy public and other people's property you are free to continue doing so with little fear of retribution from the state.

So congratulations Oregonians! Your lives are now officially worse off than those of repressively-communist East Germany. Just remember, you voted for this!

Be as thankful as you can. One of the keys to happiness is gratitude. See ya next week.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

(raises an iced mug of root beer) Hear, hear, John. And here's to the rest of us here at the Place.

God help us, every one.

Colby Muenster said...

Hmmm.... perhaps a séance is how Joe will eventually govern as pResident?

Oregon... Are there ANY right minded people living there anymore? If so, I would get the hell out very quickly if I was one. And, didn't they just vote to legalize just about every drug, up to and including heroin? Are there a-holes living in Oregon who'd actually rat out their neighbors for having 7 people in their house? Sadly, there likely are. Bottom line in Oregon = you can beat up cops, shoot heroin, light businesses on fire, steal at will, snort cocaine, and walk around naked, but you can't have 7 people in your house.

@Pat,
Best wishes on your surgery. May you run like a teenager afterwards!

@Jim Irre,
I wish I shared your optimism. She is but one person against the corrupt system the Democrats have spent decades building. But, if she has the goods she claims, all hell will break loose if Trump is declared the winner. May it be so!!

But I digress. All you Stilton's Placers have a wonderful Thanksgiving and try to forget 2020 for a brief moment!

Velveeta Processed Cheese Food said...

Happy Thanksgiving to all and a better '21 if possible.
Reading through the above I made a short list of things to thankful for in '20. At the top of the list is that fact that so far the ChiComm Croup has failed to strike a serious blow among my loved ones. My youngest sister's family had it and recovered, including her daughter and her 3 daughters, including the youngest who was born seriously prematurely a year ago July. The little girls all got over it in a couple of days after only mild fever.
I was able to pick up some stray bucks working as a "Census Field Supervisor, which is a whole 'nuther story. I had applied for this position back in January, after which the whole operation was repeatedly delayed due to CCC until finally kicking off in July. This was the "Non-Response Follow Up," designed to count people who supposedly hadn't sent in their forms or filed online. My job was to supervise the actually door-to-door "enumerators."
Going in, I was pretty sure the whole thing would be FUBAR, it only remaining to be seen in just what way. It turns out they used hi-tech to screw it up. All the enumeration was done on iron named "smart phones."
Among other things, there this exposed how incompetent past censii had been. Part of my area is practically uninhabited and the system repeated sent people to house site that had been vacant or demolished for decades. The mapping apps in the "smart" phones tried to send people to these locations down roads that don't technically exist. A lot of the ones that do exist were underwater at the time (You'd have to see the landscape to understand how that works). There was no good way to document these joints didn't exist. The enumerators at some point would be prompted to find a neighbor as a "proxy." The nearest neighbor might be 5-10 miles away as the crow flies, and much further as the roads run. Of course they were never home, all out stacking hay or something. As a side note, my enumerators suffered two wrecked cars, a number of deer strikes, and one porcupine collision. None of this was covered by the gov. of course so these folks ended up in the hole.
When they did find somebody at home, they usually were told the folks had in fact returned their forms. What became apparent was the fact that the people who were supposed to be opening and entering these forms hadn't been doing so for the 3 months they were at home during the early pandemic, and they were so far behind they weren't even trying to work on them later. Meanwhile, out in the field, we were short of enumerators because the people who had applied in January had since made other plans.
They kept extending the end date, due to lawsuits in California designed to make sure all the illegal aliens got counted. Who, by the way, do everything in their power to avoid being counted. As various deadline drew near, we were encouraged to get "creative" in closing addresses. Some people got a little too creative and were filing cases from their kitchen tables with made-up details, never having gone on the roads. These idiots didn't realize the phone were GPS tracked. Meanwhile, people who were fired for various forms of malfeasance were repeatedly rehired because of the lack of enumerators. They finally pulled the plug on the whole thing in late October.
The moral of the story is this census isn't going to be any more reliable than past ones.
There, I've been wanting to get that off my chest for awhile now. I could go on and on about the stupidity. The upside is that when this comes around again in 10 years I doubt I'll be ready, willing or able to do it again.




John the Econ said...

That was fascinating, @Velveeta Processed Cheese Food. I can't wait until the people responsible for this are handling my health care.

Don in Oregon said...

"Governor Brown has accomplished one thing this Thanksgiving: she's made us awfully thankful that we don't live under her fascist rule."

Easy for YOU to say!



PS She's the Governor of Portland, Salem, and Eugene. Out here in the boonies it's all Trump signs and American flags.

Anonymous said...

Both parents are recently deceased and I now own their house. I've not sufficiently prepped it yet for lease nor sale; nor do I actually live in it. Could but don't. But we ARE actively working in & on it and we have a cabin next door. I'm there on a regular weekly basis working with estate matters; and if I'm gone a helper-monkey comes by as well.

It attracted all sorts of attention from 2020 Census and I tried every way I could think of: On-line to their site; Direct E-mail to contact; Mail-in paper report; Multiple Phone-ins, Staple a Note on the door, etc; and there seemed to be NO WAY for most of the year to get the message through to Census that no one was there who needed to be counted. This real-life though interim situation seems common; plus what about multiple residences, part-time cabins, etc? The Census is as much another FUBAR situation as many other government endeavors.

Gonzo'57 said...

In regards to Oregon:

Why doesn't the Governor issue brown shirts, brown belts with a shoulder strap and black, knee high boots to all the children and encourage them to tattle on their parents if they have more than the state allowed number of T-Day dinners in their homes. At the same time the little Brown Shirts can inform on their parents if they are hiding a dinner guest in the attic. Maybe instead of a yellow star we can sew a silhouette of a turkey on the clothes of anyone that violated the Governor's mandate. And the idiot Dem voters call Trump and conservatives fascists'.

Sortahwitte said...

So thankful for all we have. It's also good to remember those who sacrificed for us to enjoy this abundance. What a country!

A reminder to those who would rule over us by dictate. You may channel all the brown shirts, SS, and gestapo you wish. However, unlike the German people and the Jews of WWII, we are armed and we know what we are about. We will not suffer fools lightly. You had best cinch up your lederhoesen to the tightest notch and write a final letter home to mother.
We're waiting and we're patient.

Velveeta Processed Cheese Food said...

%Econ and Anon: I've actually blotted out much of the nonsense. Those were things that still stick in my mind.
Yes, people with multiple residences, summer cabins and the like were a big issue. The count was supposed to be of where they were living on "Census Day," wait for it, April 1. People still had to go to all the summer places, which although it was summer, hardly anybody was ever there. Repeatedly. There was also a big issue with "duplicate addresses" that I never fully understood; apparently multiple forms were going to some addresses. Well into the operation somebody decided there was an app on the supervisors' Ipods that would sort these deals out when the enumerators called in for advice. This uniformly failed to provide any help ever to anyone as near as I can tell.
The "training" consisted of somebody reading several hours of acronym-laden turgid bureaucratese at you, plus some rather useless on-line stuff.
Anyway, during the next 10 years when the gov is issuing all sorts of derived statistics, take them with a bag of salt.

John the Econ said...

@Velveeta Processed Cheese Food, I was approached by one of the census foot soldiers a few months ago regarding my next-door neighbor who was not home the time and has several other residences both in and out of state. He asked how many people lived there, and to be honest I wasn't sure since they also had a daughter and other relatives who are frequently there and then not there. So I'm not sure how this residence was eventually counted. I'm betting that his family got counted more than once. Just as well, as Progressives have been complaining that it's not fair that we have two senators for our relatively small population.

By the end of summer he sold it for an absurd sum to a family of Californian escapees.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Pat Cummings- Keep us updated. We'll all be thankful if your knee surgery goes well!

@mamafrog- Now more than ever, keeping family a priority is important. As you say, we've done what we can with voting so for now our energies are better spent elsewhere. Including truly celebrating a day of gratitude on Thanksgiving!

@Jim Irre- I'm definitely still hoping that Sidney Powell has some tricks up her sleeve. I'm sick of seeing the bad guys "get away with it."

@Rod- After being burned so badly by 2020, I'm more than a little apprehensive of what 2021 will be bringing our way.

@Dan- And right back at you!

@Brie Camembert- What's going on inside Sidney's legal "briefs" is none of our business (grin).

@REM1875- If only she'd heard the reindeer's slay-bells...

@Bobo the Hobo- Glad you liked the cartoon! I just wanted to find a nice picture of a family sitting down for Thanksgiving, but the way they were holding hands made me think of a seance. Because I have a mental condition. (wry grin)

@NaCly Dog- Fair enough; I'm thankful for people who put up with my sense of humor!

@Gorgon Zola- That's getting to be a frighteningly plausible thought...

@M. Mitchell Marmel- You might want to get in contact with Bill Clinton. I seem to recall that he had a lot of knee work done...

@Edam Wensleydale- Apparently, there aren't enough of those 360,000,000 in Oregon.

@TrickyRicky- And let me take this opportunity to commend all the sweet souls here who don't get the "safe word" reference. (grin)

Pat Cummings said...

@All: Try not to confuse an "Attitude of Gratitude" with "Thank you, sir, may I have another."

Eventually, 2020 and its multitude of ills will be in the rear-view mirror, and 21 years from now, we will have a new baby boom (from parents locked down at home with not much else to do) who will look at us with disbelief when we describe or travails.

@M. Mitchell Marmel, @TrickyRicky: The Safe Word (Safe Phrase, actually) is: "It's 2021! Happy New Year!"

@M. Mitchell Marmel, @Colby Muenster: I've been trying to get my knees replaced for 3 years, and it finally came together in 2020. Hope that's not an omen...

@Colby Muenster: I'll be satisfied with being able to walk to the grocery, or up and down stairs, without groaning. I'd also like to dance with my spouse again...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John the Econ- It's good to hear that you and Mrs. Econ are doing well. And your comparison between Oregon and East Germany is right on target. And can anyone tell me even one act of fascism Trump committed? He made the country more free, and angered both the people who didn't like it, and those too stupid to see it with their own eyes.

@Colby Muenster- It could get awfully tiring channeling Biden through a Ouija board; it would take an hour of spelling just to get through one still-unintelligible sentence.

As far as Oregon goes, to hell with the entire state. Which actually seems to be their goal.

@Velveeta Processed Cheese Food- Wow, that's a heckuva story about the census! None of it is surprising, sadly, but it still makes me heave a sigh. Or perhaps just heave.

@John the Econ- I'm crossing myself at the thought, and I'm not even Catholic.

@Don in Oregon- Okay, when I said "to hell with the entire state" a few sentences ago, I lacked the insight which you've brought to the table about the many good people there. I stand corrected!

@Anonymous- First, my genuine condolences about the loss of your parents. Mine have been gone for awhile now and I'm still reeling. Your experience trying to find anyone with the Census who could actually listen to (and understand) simple information seems emblematic of every interaction I've had with a government agency. It's ineffective enough to be pointless.

@Gonzo'57- The Governor probably didn't have time this year to get the brown shirts out to everybody, but I'm betting they'll get distributed in '21.

@Sortahwitte- Well said!

@Velveeta Processed Cheese Food- For me, no bag of salt will be needed when considering future information from the government. I'm done believing anything they have to say.

Anonymous said...

Now those are funny, Stilton.

"Secretary of the Posterior" is the best one.

JustaJeepGuy said...


@John the Econ said,

"By the end of summer he sold it for an absurd sum to a family of Californian escapees."

Those escapees will unfortunately continue to vote just as they did in California and soon their new home state will be just as bad. It's happened here in Colorado. Now if we could only devise a way to get an "Electoral College" at the state level, the big cities wouldn't be able to ruin the states any more. Unfortunately for those of us who want that, we'd have to get it past the Demo_Rats who run those big cities and thus the states.

Here's hoping all here at the Place have a great Thanksgiving.

Pat Cummings said...

I just got buy-in from the spouse to have a non-traditional T-day dinner: Turkey Potato Soup (made with sweet potatoes, green beans, bacon, and the eponymous meat and starch), with sage stuffing and cranberry sauce on the side. All the components of the feast, just less cooking (make it in a crock pot) and less over-eating. If I get inspired, I'll make a pumpkin pie from the baked Halloween pumpkin in the freezer...

If not, we'll have pumpkin-pie spice muffins for dessert!

We're also ZOOMing with my extended family. It'll be the first time I've seen some of my cousins in this millennium.

In place of sports, we're watching Disk 2 of our Victory at Sea collection. Stirring music, lots of action and commentary, and the "fascists" they point to are REALLY fascists. I will miss the cheerleaders, though, and the marching band.

JC said...

Fucking communist. Taking Friday off. And we pay you for this shit? Wha? Like, free? Intertubenetwebs? Please accept my apologies, good sir and distinguished Texan. Wishing you the wurst on this Thanksgiving day

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

(grins at JC) And now...

Take An Indian To Lunch At Alice's Restaurant!

Time once again for that holiday tradition!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32INoIBaY0M

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gFqLXhDP5M

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5_8U4j51lI

Have a Thanksgiving dinner that can't be beat! ;-)

Sortahwitte said...

@PC. Victory at Sea. I have it on dvd also. You are exactly right. Good everything. One of the things hollywood did correctly. Where I first heard "No Other Love". Good stuff.

Unclezip said...

Not to worry. Most of us in Oregon have given Kate the proper salute, and just did what we were gonna do anyway.

John the Econ said...

"And can anyone tell me even one act of fascism Trump committed?"

Of course not. But he will! Just wait! We know it!

Obama & Trump share a common trait with the left: Obama with his empty resume and not even a full term in the Senate of doing little more than voting "present" was largely a blank slate that the leftist imagination could fill with their Utopian hopes and dreams. On the other hand, when Trump came down that escalator he was politically a blank slate that the same leftists imaginations could fill in with their dystopian nightmares.

Quite frankly, if Mother Theresa were to reincarnate and run as anything other than a far-left Progressive, the left would turn her into a Nazi too.

@JustaJeepGuy, unfortunately the Californification has already been happening for years here. We are but a decade from becoming Colorado, which was the first state to be fully Californificated 20 years ago.

mamafrog said...

@John the Econ don't know about that, I think Washington and Oregon got hit before Colorado, especially since the hippies who didn't become yuppies just moved up there and became yuppies then. I wonder if Texas is going to sink from all the Californians who don't want to be Californians (but still vote the same since they don't seem to learn their lesson) are moving that way?

JustaJeepGuy said...


@John the Econ, I can recall reading that someone put up signs on the southern border of Oregon telling Californians to enjoy their visits, but not to stay. Then a few years later the signs said "Don't even visit". Apparently, they invaded anyway and look at Oregon now.

So they Californicated Oregon and Washington and New Mexico and Colorado and are working on Texas. Oh, and the rest of the country, only they're trying to do that all at once by stealing the Presidential election.