Sitting On Attacks

Dr. Anthony "Satan's Little Helper" Fauci spoke out Wednesday against his growing legion of critics, saying that an attack on him is really an attack on science.

"A lot of what you're seeing as attacks on me, quite frankly, are attacks on science," whined the man who helped bankroll the pandemic, "because all of the things that I have spoken about consistently from the very beginning have been fundamentally based on science."

(We pause in our commentary to express our hopes that the word "fundamentally" will fully recover from being savagely pummeled beyond recognition.)

"People want to fire me or put me in jail for what I've done," Fauci said accurately, until adding, "namely, follow the science."

Which makes us think that he's a little unclear on the whole concept of "following"...

And speaking of things that are hard to follow, we're feeling confused about two seemingly conflicting statements recently issued by the Biden administration. His ironically named intelligence agencies recently declared that the greatest threat to our nation is posed by White Supremacists, assuming that any can eventually be found. Yet Biden himself declared that the greatest threat to our nation (and the world!) comes from climate change.

Hopefully, some good old-fashioned investigative journalism can help sort out this contradiction soon...

Do Not Kamala

In her ongoing effort to solve the border crisis without actually getting anywhere near the border or interacting with anyone remotely associated with the out-of-control situation, Vice President Kamala Harris recently flew to Guatemala to deliver an important message to potential illegal immigrants.

"Do not come!" she said in clear and unmistakable terms. "Do not come...to the land of opportunity where you will be warmly welcomed, be given food, shelter, a smartphone, premium cable and high-speed Internet, regular infusions of walking around money, free transportation anywhere in the country, and a beautiful new pre-filled voter registration card." Well that should keep them home, right?

Not, of course, that Kamala wasn't willing to sweeten the deal a little by offering more billions of American taxpayer dollars to Guatemala to make it into such a wonderful place that no one would ever, ever, ever want to leave, in much the same way that Dorothy Gale eventually decided to just stay in Kansas.

But perhaps Ms. Harris would have better results if she simply terrified potential immigrants by reminding them that the United States is absolutely teeming with horrible white people. A problem that still hasn't been solved, even though a Yale lecturer recently offered some interesting ideas...

GO DIRECTLY TO YALE

Yale's School of Medicine recently invited Dr. Aruna Khilanani to speak at a weekly forum on mental health (although it was perhaps unclear whether they were for it or against it). During a lecture called "The Psychopathic Problem of the White Mind," Dr. Khilanani bonded with the audience by sharing her personal perspective:

"I had fantasies of unloading a revolver into the head of any white person that got in my way," she explained, "burying their body and wiping my bloody hands as I walked away relatively guiltless with a bounce in my step, like I did the world a f*cking favor." She also described white Americans as "demented, violent predators" after which she called kettles black.

While her audience called her remarks "absolutely brilliant" and said she gave "voice to us as people of color," Dr. Khilanani's opinions have not always been so well received. For instance, her white therapist had previously called her foam-flecked anger about perceived racism "psychotic." But sadly, that condition is now indistinguishable from academic expertise in the Ivy League.

But is it actually a problem to ignore insanely violent rhetoric in a lecture setting? Seriously, what's the worst that could happen? Oh yeah, another Fort Hood massacre:

From The Vault: Prophet And Loss Statement (8/7/13)

In an opening statement at his military trial, Fort Hood terrorist Nidal Hassan - who is presenting his own defense - said that he is a "mujahideen," and that "the evidence will clearly show that I am the shooter. The dead bodies will show that war is an ugly thing."

In response, the prosecution said "no further evidence," after which a firing squad composed of recovering Fort Hood survivors stood, took aim with their rifles, then blew Hassan into the land of imaginary virgins.

Just kidding, of course. Although the scenario above makes perfect sense to Hope n' Change, the reality is that the trial is expected to take at least a month, and perhaps several months - during which time Hassan will denigrate the United States, our military, Fort Hood, and his multiple victims (some of whom he's actually calling to the stand), while praising radical, militant Islam and the glories of executing his fellow soldiers in the name of Allah.

All of which is a huge waste of time and money, an insult to both the dead and the survivors, and a scathing rebuke of Barack Hussein Obama's contention that poor old Nidal was nothing more than a disgruntled worker who had a bad day at the office - and that the rivers of blood which flowed that day had nothing to do with the president's cherished "religion of peace."

One thing is certain: that blood flowed in no small part because this president has made it clear that he won't tolerate "discrimination" against Muslims, including those who print business cards that say "Soldier of Allah," and who give Powerpoint presentations describing the way they'll behead infidels and pour boiling oil down their throats.

Put another way, Benghazi was only the tip of the iceberg: Obama has already given the "stand down" order for our military to protect itself from the Nidal Hassans of this world.

Perhaps another trial is in order to find out why.

Beaches? We Don't Need No Stinking Beaches!

We can't let the 77th Anniversary of the D-Day invasion pass without pausing to give thanks to all who served there and the many who died. Nor will we skip another opportunity to criticize those who have dishonored the day and the dead. 

FROM THE VAULT: BEACHES?! WE DON'T NEED NO STINKING BEACHES! (2015)

Saturday marked the 71st anniversary of the historic D-Day invasion...which you'd think would make a pretty darn good topic for Barack Obama's weakly address (and no, that's not a typo). But instead, the president decided to harangue Americans  about June being "Immigrant Heritage Month." Although to be fair, we're sure he'll give equal time to "National Border Security Month" whenever it gets here.

For those with short memories or recent public educations, back in 1944 France had a pretty serious problem with people trampling their borders, speaking a foreign language, and forcing the locals to change their politics, taxes, and culture to accommodate the newly arrived "dreamers" (so-called because they were inspired by Adolph Hitler's "Dreams From My Fatherland"). And believe it or not, back then the United States was against that sort of thing!

But not today. Barack Obama declared that America is actually made stronger by people who trample our borders, speak a foreign language, and are forcing us to change our politics, taxes, and culture.

And according to the president, we can't just celebrate the allegedly rich heritage of illegal immigration, "we have to defend it." Specifically, he mentioned defending it from the evil sieg-heiling Republicans whom he seems to imagine are in cliff-top bunkers mercilessly spraying down machine gun fire at the dreamers bravely storming the bloodsoaked beaches of the Rio Grande.

And just to reinforce his not-so-subtle suggestion that Americans lack any moral authority to regulate immigration, he again spoke of Michelle and his daughters, "some of whose ancestors came here in chains." A thought so sad that it makes Hope n' Change want to send the ladies a reparation check if we can just get an address for one of the five-star luxury hotels they'll be staying in during their European vacation next week.

Barack Obama's choice of the anniversary of D-Day to denigrate Americans and praise our nation's invaders is almost the supreme irony. And we say "almost" only because he managed to top it only 24 hours later.

Because that's when he flew overseas to enjoy beer and sausages with the Germans.

Note: In the commentary above, we unintentionally made it sound like D-Day was an exclusively American operation. As we mark this 71st anniversary, let us also remember the many brave Brits, New Zealanders, Australians, Canadians and Poles who fought and died in Operation Overlord.