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Friday, August 4, 2017

Statue of Limitations

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In a truly delicious exchange in the White House briefing room, CNN "reporter" Jim Acosta proved himself to be a complete and utter ass when attempting to challenge Trump senior policy advisor Stephen Miller on proposed changes to our immigration laws.

Miller basically mopped up the floor with the self-righteous and thoroughly ignorant Acosta, and if you haven't seen it you really need to click that link.

The revised immigration policy would give preference to applicants who can speak English (ie, assimilate) and who have actual job skills beyond the ability to breed. In an earlier time, this would have been called "common sense."

But the thoroughly offended Acosta angrily maintained that poetry trumps policy (no pun intended), citing the Emma Lazarus poem "The New Colossus" which is found at the base of the Statue of Liberty and, as we vaguely recall, proclaims that the really best immigrants are tired, poor, wretched, tempest-tost (sic), disease ridden (sick), drug mules, potential terrorists, rapists and pedophiles. All of which leads us to guess that Lazarus was no stranger to the bottle.

Acosta did not, however, seem to have a problem with the fact that the poem can only be read by those who speak English - whom we'll continue to invite through that golden door.

BONUS: TGIF

You're welcome. And yes, that's really her.

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Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Chip Happens

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Preparations for home renovation (6 days until demolition starts...) and frankly incomprehensible news stories dictated that we go the Earwigs route again today. As we've warned, the content on this site may be pretty eccentric for awhile - not that it wasn't before.

To clear the way for the upcoming work on the floors, walls, kitchen, and bathrooms we've been divesting ourselves of furniture which has served us well for many years (soon to be bargain priced at a Salvation Army store near you!), leaving us with large amounts of unfilled space. And nothing to sit on in much of the house. And no tables for dining, sorting mail, or playing Boggle. It's all pretty disorienting (even when cold sober, which occasionally happens) and soon to get much, much worse.

As we've said before, we're reasonably happy to be energizing the economy by paying through the nose for this renovation, but we can't admit to being too keen on the recent discovery that investment income pulled from our personal account to pay for all of this is likely to incur an additional 3.8% Obamacare tax surcharge (above and beyond capital gains taxes and increased annual Medicare payments) to punish us for our frugality, personal responsibility and, in all likelihood, our shameful white privilege.

Good work on not even repealing that, GOP.

There's a reason we call our toilet "John."

BONUS: Now That Smarts

We jokingly (or not) mentioned "white privilege" above, little knowing that we're apparently guilty of something even worse: "cognitive privilege." 

According to an article in the University of Iowa's student newspaper, "the accident of having been born smart enough to be able to be successful is a great benefit that you did absolutely nothing to earn. Consequently, you have nothing to be proud of for being smart."

In other words, anything you've "earned" by virtue of being smart is simply a matter of "winning life's lottery" as Obama used to say, and you're not really entitled to keep those earnings when there are so many stupid people who would enjoy spending your money after they've blown through their own.

We wish the concept of cognitive privilege was simply a brilliant satire being foisted off on the Left, but sadly satire itself appears to be a dying construct in the age of the cognitively disadvantaged.

They WANT to protest, but putting words on signs is hard.

Monday, July 31, 2017

Fast Fast Fast Disbelief!

Owing to a million niggling-details related to our soon-to-be home demolition and renovations, we're cutting straight to the chase today (and probably will on many other days in the near future)...

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, trump, scaramucci, wasserman-schultz, it, joseph rago, charlie gard, john mccain, healthcare, hillary, what happened, what hitmen
BONUS: with the time we just saved, we were also able to whip up this "truth in labeling" version of Hillary's next book of giant lies...