Friday, April 28, 2017

30 Rocks!

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, daughter jarlsberg, 30, birthday, wisdom

Today we're doing something unprecedented: giving you a youthful perspective on life and living in 2017, rather than our standard fist-shaking "angry old coot with a bullhorn" perspective.

We're doing this in honor of (and with the indispensable help of) Daughter Jarlsberg, who celebrated her 30th birthday yesterday! 

If you'll allow a moment of parental gushing, she's an extraordinary young woman who - among many other accomplishments - has been a National Merit Scholar, Phi Beta Kappa college graduate, Dallas Morning News editorial writer, Symphony Orchestra musician, children's book author, and is a Speech Therapist who has a special gift for working with young children.

She's also faced (and overcome) more than her share of challenges, including significant health conditions, entering the workforce during the "lost generation" of the job-killing Obama economy, and the always-frightening possibility that she could grow up as crazy as her father. Let us all give thanks for the ameliorating qualities of Mrs. Jarlsberg's calming genes and maternal guidance.

With that preamble out of the way, here are 30 Life Lessons that this freshly-minted 30-year-old has picked up along her journey so far. Let us all learn from her wisdom...

1. Nothing good ever comes from clowns. 

2. Never try to blackmail a murderer.

3. Have a flashlight in every room - you never know where you're going to be when the lights go out. 

4. You can microwave regular oatmeal just like instant oatmeal. 

5. Someone doesn't have to be a bad person to still be bad news. 

6. Understand statistics - otherwise people will lie to you with facts. 

7. Understand personal finance.

8. If you're going to speed when driving, make sure someone else is going faster than you. That's who the police will pull over.

9. Driving and competitiveness should have nothing to do with each other. Let the angry speed demons pass you.  My personal zen-like phrase is "be the rock in the river." 

10. Life is too short for cheap, crappy toilet paper. 

11. One's living space should be both tidy and expressive of your life and personality. This ensures that, when you are murdered, the forensics team and investigators will be able to get a clear picture of your circumstances and thus more likely to catch the killer.

12. Large groups of women can quickly turn into war zones about nothing.

13. There are more sociopaths in the world than you would think.

14. All Christmas lights are beautiful.

15. Prolonged self-pity is a form of narcissism. 

16. There is a very tight correlation between parents who refuse to discipline their precious babies and parents that get easily, easily offended. 

17. You can generally identify these parents before even meeting them by hearing the 'creative' names of their children. I'm looking at you, Camelot.

18. Even when they make you crazy, having a dog keeps you sane. 

19. Stick up for people being bullied. You'll probably end up being bullied too, but no one should have to feel isolated and alone. 

20. Very few people tolerate someone making a constant stream of puns. Keep them close and cherish them.

21. Ramen stops being cheap when you have to buy heartburn medicine to go with it.

22. Beware the quiet ones - they are the ones who, when pushed too hard, will lose their minds with rage. As the quiet one, I admit to relishing the look of absolute, pants-staining terror on the faces of those who didn't see it coming. I'm looking at you, jocks who threw french fries at me. ONCE.

23. Running a spoon under hot water, then placing it on a mosquito bite, will instantly stop the itching. I feel sad for all of the summers I didn't know this. 

24. Compatibility with your co-workers makes up to 99% of your job satisfaction.

25. Wear comfortable, practical shoes. You never know when the zombie apocalypse will start, and trying to run in strappy stiletto heels is a recipe for disaster. 

26. Don't try to hide mistakes. It just makes things harder for everyone. 

27. It's nice to have your own theme song. Mine is Academic Festival Overture by Brahms. 

28. Never underestimate Japan's power to screw with your mind. 

29. Life doesn't owe you a thing. 

30. Sometimes, when you get stuck in a routine, it feels like your life is being lived for you. Those are the times to do something a little different - it reminds you that your life is yours.  So yeah, I am going to get that third ear piercing! Sorry Mom and Dad!

Good stuff, huh?  Feel free to add to this list of useful life lessons - and share 30th birthday wishes - in the comments section!

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Wall Grins

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Rather than having the Democrats shut down the government and turn the undeserving American people away from Mount Rushmore, Old Faithful, and the Washington Monument, Donald Trump has agreed to let an interim spending bill (is there any other kind?) proceed without the startup money for his border wall - but promises that he'll get better results in September.

Not that he's getting bad results right now - just the threat of Trump's policies has cut illegal border crossings by 70% to 90% in some areas, with the most recent report showing the lowest incursion of illegals in 17 years. That's impressive. Donald Trump is actually accomplishing more with words than Democrats can traditionally accomplish with money and misbehaving. Granted, much of the difference comes from Trump being sincere about his goals.

Frankly, we don't know if Trump is really planning to strike a deal with Hades Holdings LLC to rent Cerberus, the many-headed demon dog, and put him to work guarding our borders. But it's that kind of creative thinking which is giving potential interlopers (and yes, a number of gang members, drug dealers, terrorists, and rapists) serious second thoughts about trying to sneak in...

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, trump, border wall, funding, shut down, cerebus, dog, hell
Not just great security - also great TV!

Monday, April 24, 2017

The First 100 Daze

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Even though Donald Trump's Presidency doesn't hit the 100 day mark until Saturday, April 29th, it was a major talking point in the news media this weekend. This is primarily because the people who claim to be journalists these days just love big dumb stories about big dumb round numbers, and offering their worthless opinions rather than doing anything even remotely like reportage.

So we'll do it too!

As you'll recall unless you drink as much as we do, Barack Obama spent the entirety of his first 100 days being fellated by the press, bowing to foreign potentates, making a famous "apology tour" to explain to foreigners how much our nation has always sucked, labeling military veterans as "potential terrorists," incinerating taxpayer dollars with preposterous "stimulus programs" that only stimulated ACORN and other liberal evildoers and, most importantly, did all of these things while simultaneously being historically black. In stark contrast, Donald Trump has actually tried to accomplish things while being orange. But how has he fared?

All in all, pretty well. For one thing, he hasn't destroyed the Earth in an insane, orgiastic display of nuclear button pushing - so count the pundits wrong on that worry. Similarly, we've noticed no particular increase in "pussy grabbing," other than among feminists (or should we call them fetishists?) who have taken to wearing giant vagina costumes. A trend which, sadly, appears to have driven former Fox News anchor Bill O'Reilly mad with lust.

Trump has been great for the stock market, which we wish we would have foreseen before selling a crapload of securities under the assumption that one of Trump's nutty 3 a.m. tweets would quickly crash the market. We stand corrected (note: stock market humor).

Trump has also been good at reestablishing the military significance of "red lines" including those drawn (and withdrawn) by previous presidents. And hey, any President who introduces ISIS to the "Mother of All Bombs" deserves extra style points in our book.

Perhaps most significantly, President Trump presided over Neil Gorsuch's ascendancy to the Supreme Court - a fact which would cause us to hang a triumphant "Mission Accomplished" banner over his presidency even if he spends the next four years golfing and hosting pep rallies.

Of course, some of Trump's campaign promises have yet to be realized. Obamacare is still a cancer on our nation's health system, the Border Wall hasn't been funded yet, and - most tragically - Hillary Clinton still isn't in prison.

Then again, who knows what Trump can get done by Saturday?


Want the original Hope n' Change "First 100 Daze" PDF ebook to remind you of just how godawful Barack F. Obama was from the very beginning? Just click this link and download it for free (note: it's about 12 MB owing to all the graphics).


After several days of panic, misery, and extremely theatrical suffering (sorry, Mrs. J!) we've got our computer up and running again. And by "running," we mean limping, covered in stitches, and with electrodes sticking out of its neck.

There's no way to make computer repair stories interesting, so we'll keep this short and say that it was scary to realize how truly screwed we'd be if we couldn't put the pieces back together again. We couldn't just buy a new computer, because our tangled web of programs will only run on an old computer with an outdated operating system.

So why not just update everything? Because we're not as young as we used to be, and no longer have a sufficient quantity of marbles to mentally adapt to the new tech. Seriously, the Obama years took a toll.

We do, however, want to thank the many readers who sent good wishes, condolences, wisecracks (we particularly liked "those Commodore computers don't last forever"), repair suggestions, and even the offer of a free laptop.

The one and only reason we got through this is because we were good about backing things up (using Time Machine and an external hard drive on a Mac). Please make sure you're doing the same - you won't regret it.

Friday, April 21, 2017

Technical Difficulties

Well, after complaining about everything other than our computer on Wednesday, our faithful old iMac gave up the ghost yesterday. In lieu of flowers, we encourage mourners to send alcohol.

Seriously, we've got a replacement machine heading our way (a snappy used 2011 model) via Fed Ex, but we're not sure how quickly (or completely) we can get things back to normal-ish. We're guessing maybe Wednesday of next week. Or later if enough of you actually send the aforementioned alcohol.

Have a great weekend, and remember to back up your computers. Seriously, go do it right now.

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

You Need A Higher Dose of Meditation

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, vacuum, vacuum cleaner, white noise, relaxation, stress
Unsurprisingly, vacuums abhor Nature, too.
Have you ever had one of those days where nothing seems to go right? Well, you're having another one right now, because today we've got neither news coverage, an Earwigs cartoon, or even Busty Ross buffing her nails.

Rather, you've just accidentally stumbled into a whiny rant from which there is no escape, assuming you don't know that there are an infinite number of other websites only a click away.

Our subject du jour is "stress" - and how we personally try to cope with it.

The Stressors:

• Yesterday, daughter Jarlsberg made the long drive back to Oklahoma City (always a source of parental worry). No sooner had she departed than previously unpredicted storms popped up along her entire route. And for those who don't live in Texas or Oklahoma, we should specify that when storms "pop up" (which sounds cute and fun), it can also mean the appearance of volleyball-sized hail traveling faster than the speed of sound, and tornadoes whose sizes are described on a scale ranging from "F1" to "F5" depending on how many times you use the F-word upon seeing the funnel heading your way. (Spoiler alert: she made the trip without incident).

• We simultaneously had a visit from a (ha!) service technician from Frontier Communications. The idea was to increase our Internet speed - a gift from Frontier for having screwed up our account every month for an entire year. When the tech left, our Internet was indeed blazingly fast for the 5 minutes it stayed connected. And - oops! - our television was completely out.

We subsequently spent four agonizing hours on tech support lines - getting hung up on at least three times despite our inordinate civility and goodwill - and ended the day with Internet working sporadically, but still no TV. Which wouldn't be a great loss, but when Drudge is screaming in red headlines "NUCLEAR WAR AT ANY DAMN SECOND!" it does rather pique one's curiosity about what might be happening on the news.

• Added to this, here at Castle Jarlsberg, we're preparing to do some major renovations. How major? Let's just say that the word "gut" is the most frequently used verb. For those of us who are, by nature, barnacles, it can be highly disconcerting to entertain the idea of throwing things out, tearing things down, and then having new things built, painted, patched, plumbed, or plundered by the same sorts of pathological "service providers" that Frontier Communications uses to terrorize their customers.

• And then there's all the usual background stress, including that pesky "possible nuclear war" thing, random Facebook killers (happily, that one has sorted itself out), pro-Trump and anti-Trump people beating the snot out of each other in Berkeley, the infirmities of advancing age, the stock market (we lost a bundle today), and - oh yeah - a blog deadline!

How We Cope With Stress:

• We'll bet you said "by drinking," right?! HA! Well, okay, we do have a snort or so of Clan MacGregor.

• Cheap Chinese food also works in the short term.

• But the most important factor in reducing stress is: listening to a good, loud vacuum cleaner. We're not joking in the least. For us, that jet engine whine with just a soupçon of suck is the sound of peace and relaxation (not to mention a great help with our unending smoke-detector-shriek tinnitus).

At this very moment, we're using the Amazon Echo device (with 7 microphones reporting our every utterance to the NSA) to play an endless loop of a vacuum cleaner in order to keep our heart rate beneath that of a meth-addicted hummingbird. And when we go to bed at night, to soothe us into stress-free slumber, we'll listen to our MP3 recording of a vacuum cleaner in a thunderstorm

In any event, just complaining about all of this stuff has helped us feel a bit better. And if we unfortunately stressed YOU out in the process, well, here's 8 hours of sonic relief...

Monday, April 17, 2017


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Click picture for larger/clearer version
As you've already noticed, we're skipping the news today because we didn't feel like spending Easter trying to find a rib-tickling angle to Donald Trump and Kim Jung Un's ongoing game of nuclear chicken. Oh, there's probably a joke to be had about the Easter Bunny and a "hare raising" arms race, but we've got far too much pride to go down that road.

But hey, at least there's an Earwigs cartoon tucked into your basket of goodies between the Cadbury eggs and marshmallow Peeps, as well as this blast from the past...

FROM THE VAULT: Originally Published April 12, 2009
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Friday, April 14, 2017

Equal Deployment Opportunity

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, MOAB, mother of all bombs, trump, ISIS, Afghanistan, Obama

A significant number of ISIS fighters became WASWAS fighters yesterday, after finding themselves on the receiving end of the United States' "Mother Of All Bombs" - the 21,000 pound MOAB which is our largest non-nuclear armament. It had never previously been used in combat, because our previous president was better known for deploying "the mother of all jeans" when dressing casually.

The bomb, the destructive power of which can not be described without using a lengthy chain of expletives, took out a tunnel complex in Nangahar province, Afghanistan. Perhaps not coincidentally, this is the same area where a member of our special forces, Staff Sgt Mark De Alencar, was tragically killed in action only days ago.

In other words, this is the very definition of the Trump administration "sending a clear message."

And not just to ISIS. It seems reasonable to think that preposterously gigantic explosions that turn America's enemies into pink mist might also be raising eyebrows in Syria, North Korea, Russia, Iran, and über-liberal parts of California.

By the way, when we heard that the "Mother of All Bombs" had been dropped from an aircraft, we were tempted to make a joke about Hillary Clinton being ejected by United Airlines mid-flight. But we didn't because it was too easy.

Not to mention, too cruel a thing to do to ISIS.

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Flight Schooled

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, united, passenger, dragged, war, obama, air force one

Truth be told, we don't really give a rat's rear end about the story of the guy dragged off the United flight, but we couldn't resist the mental image of Barry being dragged down an aisle while kicking, biting, scratching, weeping, long as we're enjoying our fantasy...wetting himself.

As far as the actual story goes, the details keep changing - but it seems safe to say that the gentleman pulled from the plane had voluntarily entered the "asshole zone" by not leaving his seat without a fight (hint: when people with guns ask you to do something on a plane, it's a good idea to do it).

And frankly, the only reason that this is a story is because people got video of the last, most colorful moments of the confrontation...and it's proved to be more interesting on the vast brainless platforms of social media than other current news stories like, oh, impending nuclear war.

We live in strange and frighteningly superficial times.

BONUS: Expert Analysis from John the Econ

United Airlines shows how to make a PR crisis a total disaster

Short story: Flight overbooked, and United needed 4 seats to get a crew staged at the next stop. They offered $800 and a hotel for volunteers to get bumped for a flight the following afternoon. When they found no takers, instead of upping the offer they had the computer randomly select 4 passengers who had already boarded and were seated and asked that they deplane. When one refused, they called security to actually and literally drag him off the plane. Cell phone video of man being dragged down aisle goes viral.

So what did we actually witness yesterday? A great example of "Social Justice" being substituted for simple capitalism. For whatever reason, when there were no takers at $800, instead of raising the bid to $900 or more, the agents in charge decided to get their seats in a "fair" manner by allowing a computer to randomly select the 4 passengers to be inconvenienced. Of course, it certainly didn't feel "fair" or like "justice" for the 4 people pulled from the flight, but that's the problem with "Social Justice", isn't it? Somebody ultimately gets screwed so others can be happy.

Of course, in retrospect this was all really stupid. You can't convince me that on a plane of 200 or so people that they couldn't have found a market clearing price for at least 4 people. (They might have had me at $1,500 or so - Mrs. Econ, who really wants a vacation would have made me) Clearly, the United personnel on the scene didn't want (or may not have been authorized) to offer that much. So they went the draconian route.

But in the end, the free market ultimately gets its retribution. In the wake of what happened United has suffered an incalculable PR disaster and is now the butt of jokes internationally. (Many of the memes floating about the Internet are a hoot) This morning, UAL's stock price dropped several percent, resulting in around $800,000,000 of market capitalization evaporating last I looked. Makes paying $4-or-5 thousand to buy the good graces of 4 people look kinda cheap now, doesn't it?

So next time you see a social justice warrior demand that "social justice" replace the laws of supply and demand, remember the guy who was dragged off the plane. Usually, you don't get to see the victims of such "just" policy so vividly.

Monday, April 10, 2017

Hit and Misogyny

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, hillary, misogyny, comey, election

While today's cartoon might appear to be a clear example of blatant misogyny, it is actually "meta" misogyny which celebrates and empowers women by ironically mocking those who would mischaracterize misogyny for their own political benefit. Like this bitch, for instance.

Again, "meta" misogyny in the service of humor! Jon Swift (the author of the seminal work on politics, "Gullible's Travails") would totally be high-fiving us about now.

The (ahem) "news" story, if you were lucky enough to have missed it, is that Hillary Clinton has returned from 40 years of God-ordained wandering in the wilderness, fasting and having religious visions, to face the cold hard facts about her election loss. And according to Hillary, those facts are that the Russians magically hacked the election, FBI Director James Comey was a suicide bomber, and everybody in America - including women - hates women.

"Certainly misogyny played a role," the bitter, garishly-dressed, stringy-haired old woman whined, "That just has to be admitted."

Well, no, it doesn't have to be admitted. There are female leaders all over the world, and countless women in positions of authority - including governmental authority - here in the United States. So it seems likely that Hillary's unpopularity isn't so much linked to her gender as it is tied to her long history of being a horrible human being, serial liar, inept politician, rape enabler, and thief.

All of which might become clear to Hillary if, instead of looking for answers in a "glass ceiling," she looked for them in a mirror.


Meanwhile, as the clock ticks on Syria, Russia, Iran, and North Korea...

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Friday, April 7, 2017

Enjoying A Little Nukie

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History was made yesterday when, for the first time since our nation became a nation, Democrats filibustered an exemplary Supreme Court Nominee because - and we've got plenty of political scientists and analysts to back us up on this - they're complete and total assholes.

The only way around this epic act of douchebaggery was for Senate Republicans to invoke the so-called "nuclear option," which - disappointingly - did not require inviting Democrats to "a picnic and special surprise" in the remotest corner of Nevada while a gleeful Donald Trump punched their coordinates into his suitcase nuclear launch device.

Rather, it involved changing Senate rules to allow a Supreme Court nominee to be confirmed with a simple majority of 51 votes, rather than requiring the 60 votes which has traditionally been the standard. And under this rule, we should see standout nominee Judge Gorsuch confirmed for the Supreme Court sometime today.

We would say that the Democrats are losing their freaking minds over this, only that ship sailed a long time ago.

And while we're not wild about this change in Senate rules (which will give additional power to the Democrats next time they're in charge), we think some form of "nuking the Democrats" (metaphorically speaking) might as well become our nation's default policy for the next four years.

Shut them up, shut them out, and shut them down. 

And if they make a stink, we just put our blast goggles back on and ka-BLOOEY! Because if, within our own halls of government, we can't find a little peace in our time...we'll settle for little pieces.

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Dirty Rice

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, susan rice, spying, trump, obama, surveillance, benghazi, youtube, video
Burn, baby, burn.
It now appears that one of the chief mischief-makers behind the surveillance and information leaks related to the Trump administration is Obama crony and serial liar Susan Rice. According to a growing number of reports, she asked intelligence agencies to break with traditional policies and tell her the names of Trump associates who were (ahem) "accidentally" caught on surveillance tapes, as well as the content of their conversations.

This would, of course, only be a problem if Ms. Rice was a reprehensible person working in cahoots with a cabal of Machiavellian anti-Americans who intended to use the information for political purposes. In other words, this is one hell of a problem.

Rice has adamantly declared that she did nothing wrong, adding "I leaked nothing to nobody." Which, by the inflexible rules pertaining to the use of double negatives, means that she leaked everything to everybody.  No doubt with considerable help from Barack Obama, who spontaneously (why does that word keep coming up in association with Susan Rice?) changed the rules pertaining to inter-agency sharing of raw intelligence just before leaving office in order to ensure as much damage to the incoming Trump administration as possible.

And speaking of Barry, just where is he while all this damning information is coming out...?

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, susan rice, spying, trump, obama, surveillance, benghazi, youtube, video


When it comes to forgiving and forgetting, we don't do either.

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Monday, April 3, 2017

Captions Courageous

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Surprise! It's another Earwigs day, because there's still nothing particularly compelling in the news, and here in north Texas we've got an all-day soaking rain going on that is lulling us into a coma. And yes, we still blame Daylight Saving Time.

And just for the fun of it, here are the "April Fool's Day" stories that we ran on Facebook. Not that these stories look much different than all the other fake news out there...

Bonus: MSNBC fans can bid for the rubber glove on eBay!

Friday, March 31, 2017

Friday Foolishness

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One of the primary ways that Stilton's Place is different from Hope n' Change Cartoons is that we've given ourselves permission to "just blow it off" when the news is unappealing or the wind (for whatever reasons) simply fails to fill our sails.

But we're not going to deny you, the dear reader, at least a spot of levity just because we're sick of the blah-blah-blah about Trump vs the Freedom Caucus, Russian hackers vs the DNC, and Maxine Waters vs a Stylish Hairdo (hey, if she wants to support "Habitat for Black Widow Spiders" it's her business).

Anyway, that's why the Earwigs cartoon is lurking above. As we mentioned in our penultimate post over at Hope n' Change, we make Earwigs cartoons (though have not previously published any) as a fun writing exercise and misguided hobby. We basically find a piece of odd old clipart, and then try to spin off as many different punchlines as possible.

While this is mostly just for fun, we fully intend to self-publish a book of these things at some point, and declare it to be the world's first interactive cartoon book. Specifically because you can highlight your favorite captions and then claim co-authorship when you display the newly-personalized book in the bathroom for guests, family members, and visiting clergy to read.

We'd be tempted to run a Kickstarter campaign to fund the creation of this book, only we can probably complete the whole project for a total cost of about $13.99.

Which, by remarkable coincidence, is exactly the cost of a plastic jug of Clan MacGregor alleged scotch!

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Many Unhappy Returns

Let joy be unconfined.
Bells are ringing, birds are singing, and nubile maidens frolic and gambol while tossing rose petals into the air! And that's only a short list of the wonderful things that aren't happening (but should) now that we've finally finished and filed our blankety-blanking federal taxes.

Instead, we simply feel a sense of weary and melancholy accomplishment, in much the same way we'd feel if we survived a gangbang in a prison shower and knew that it wasn't for the last time.

As mentioned here on Monday, there was no way the 2016 Turbotax program was going to run on our ancient (2008) Mac this year, so we ended up having to do everything using Turbotax's online site. Which was actually fine, as long as you don't mind spending $115 to wade through the government's indecipherable crap, put all of your most sensitive personal information online, and end up having no idea whatsoever if the final result is anything even marginally like correct.

Fortunately, the IRS provides a free service to help you sort everything out later. It's called an "audit."

Owing to this time (and sanity) consuming activity, we don't really have any trenchant political commentary for you today, other than to once again express our disgust with the whole system...and the legal requirement that we have to fund this madness.

Monday, March 27, 2017

Ready, Blame, Fire!

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, trump, obamacare, health insurance, taxes, daylight saving time

Now that healthcare reform reform has been cancelled, two groups of people are celebrating. Those who love Obamacare the most, and those who hate Obamacare the most. In this way, President Trump has brought opposing political factions together in a way which we would like to call united, but will more accurately label as "schizophrenic" and probably dangerous.

At this point, it's moot to debate the relative virtues or failures of the proposed GOP bill, but we are going to take strong exception to the idea that if the healthcare system is allowed to completely collapse in the next few years (which Trump is touting with Caligula-like glee), that America's sick, dying, overcharged, and uninsured will blame the out-of-power Democrats for having created Obamacare, rather than the fat and happy Republican legislators who stood around this national bonfire roasting marshmallows and making s'mores.

Put another way, when Obamacare fails the voters will not reward the party that did nothing (even if the reasons were good), but will instead flock to the party that promises a quick and all encompassing fix - namely, a single-payer "Medicare For All" plan. That's going to be the Democrats, which is hardly surprising: Obamacare was designed to fail after destroying the free market health insurance system, thereby leaving fully socialized medicine as the only viable alternative. And the Dems knew human nature well enough to understand that this would assure their party power.

We really hope we're wrong about this, but ask yourself - if you were the patient in the cartoon above, who would you blame? The bad doctor who misdiagnosed you, or the good doctor who says he'll watch you suffer or die just to teach the bad doctor a lesson?


Per Friday's post, we're still working on our taxes (yes, that's really our desk in the picture above) and things have just taken a turn for the worse.

Once we finally had all of our data entered into Quicken, all we had to do was fire up our TurboTax program and get cranking on the job of finding out how much of our money the government would steal.

But wait! It turns out that this year's edition of TurboTax won't run on our old Mac operating system (note to Intuit: you suck), meaning we're going to have to upgrade to a newer, fancier operating system which we already know won't really work on our old computer.

To accomplish this without destroying our sanity and life's work, we have to create a "partition" on our internal hard drive (basically just a dedicated space) in which to install Mac OS 10.10, which is code named after a ravenous jungle cat or a mountain prone to landslides or some damn thing.

But to find enough room to create that partition, we first need to find tens of gigabytes of existing data to erase from our hard drive - a process which in itself takes hours.

If you're waiting for this to pay off with a big punchline, well - sorry. We're just venting about the fact that we're having to jump through 17 flaming hoops just to do a task we hate in order to pay the government's ransom demands to keep us from having to grab our ankles in a prison shower.


Remember two weeks ago when we were complaining about how long it takes us to adjust to Daylight Saving Time? Well, we still haven't adjusted - making every daily chore more difficult and exhausting.

We're taking caffeine pills to wake up, we're taking melatonin to get to sleep, and we're taking the Lord's name in vain to express what we think of government interference in our lives.

Friday, March 24, 2017

Uncomfortably Numbers

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, taxes, black books, accountant, 1040

There are plenty of newsworthy things to talk about today, including radical Islamic terror, the impending (or not) House vote on Obamacare repeal, Trump's surveillance accusations, mainstream media burying the story of illegal aliens raping a 14 year-old girl in a school bathroom, and Chuck Schumer declaring that the Democrats will filibuster Neil Gorsuch's nomination for Supreme Court Justice in hopes of being rewarded with 72 virgins in the afterlife.

And why aren't we talking about these juicy topics? Because instead of keeping up with the news, we've spent the entire day working on our freaking taxes.

And we aren't even up to working on the actual, impenetrably baffling tax forms yet - a task which must be postponed until we've made a run to the liquor store. Rather, we're still at the beginning of the process, doing our once-a-year data entry of receipts into an ancient accounting program that we don't clearly remember how to use anymore.

As Life's grand parade passes us by, we're sitting scrunched at a desk squinting at every credit card charge, cancelled check, and crumpled receipt which passed through our underpaid hands in 2016...then peck-peck-pecking the numbers on a keyboard, hands cramping, until we want to scream.

The whole process is a white hot pain in the rear, but it's very important to make sure that everything in our tax return is completely accurate and above board. Because 12 years from now it's entirely possible that an older but no wiser Rachel Maddow may be waving our returns at a TV camera.

BONUS: Since we didn't have time to be particularly witty today, enjoy this clip from the wonderful TV series "Black Books," in which Bernard Black visits his accountant at tax time...

Wednesday, March 22, 2017


stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, comey, russia, fbi, wiretap, rat's ass

We're not at all sure that "ignorance is bliss," but we've decided to at least give it a try when it comes to anything whatsoever that FBI Director James Comey has to say, now or in the future.

As we understand it (and trust us, we're not trying very hard) Comey just testified that there's no evidence whatsoever that Russia hacked the election, hacked election results, or attempted to influence the election any more than they've been attempting for decades.

However, the man who downgraded treasonous security breaches to "extreme carelessness" when Hillary snapped her fingers was perfectly willing to announce, with great seriousness and theatrically cocked eyebrow, that his agency (at the insistence of Democrats) is actively investigating any ties between Russia and Trump's campaign...even though there may not be any.

Are there salient details that we're missing here? It's entirely possible - and we just don't care. Comey is a self-interested political hack who has destroyed the credibility of the FBI, and his meaningless pronouncements only serve as fresh fodder for the fake news mills (yes, we're talking about you, New York Times).

For the good of the country, we'd like to see Trump appoint a new director to the FBI as soon as possible. And to prove there are no hard feelings, we suggest he also appoint Comey to be director of the STFU.

Monday, March 20, 2017

Atomic Ache

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, north korea, nuclear, clintons, loral, missile, campaign donations
"Hey Bill, is that a missile in your pocket or are you glad to see me?"
Nothing says "Monday" quite like the threat of imminent nuclear destruction from a diminutive, family-murdering psychopath. In this case, we're referring to North Korea's Kim Jong-un (also known as the "Pillsbury Dough Boy of Death") who has declared that if a "single bullet is fired" by U.S. forces in Korea, they will nuke us into oblivion.

Even with a famously calm, cautious, and cool-headed President like Donald Trump delicately handling the crisis, it is at least a little bit worrisome to contemplate North Korea's desire to wreak havoc on our nation and the world. Especially since they could quite possibly pull it off, thanks to our old friends Bill and Hillary Clinton.

As you may recall if you don't get all your news from mainstream media, Hillary "That Glass Ceiling Is Thicker Than It Looks" Clinton and her husband raised tens of millions of dollars for their (ahem) "charitable foundation" by peddling State Department access and favors, as well as signing off on highly questionable deals like selling 20% of America's uranium reserves to Russia.

But this was hardly new behavior for the gruesome twosome. Way back in 1996, when the Clintons were actually renting out the Lincoln bedroom for sleazy celebrity romps in return for campaign contributions, Bill struck a controversial deal (again for hefty campaign donations) to let the Loral Corporation sell advanced missile guidance technology to China.

After which, in a spontaneous burst of unbridled capitalism, China sold the technology to the lunatics running North Korea - a terrifying and entirely predictable outcome which the Clintons didn't give a flying damn about as long as their illicit checks cleared. Some things never change.

And are Hillary's supporters outraged over this? They are not - and probably wouldn't be even if they'd heard of this existential nuclear threat and the attendant scandals (which they haven't). Instead, they spent the weekend in breathless distress over reports that climate change could cause mammals to shrink by as much as 15%.

In this nightmarish scenario, horses would become the size of slightly smaller horses, Great Danes would become the size of regular Danes, and the average sociopathic asshole would be exactly the size of Kim Jong-un.

Friday, March 17, 2017

Oh, The Arts and Humanities!

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change , trump, budget, pbs, npr, nea, cuts

President Trump's budget calls for the complete elimination of taxpayer funding for NPR radio, PBS television, and the National Endowment for the Arts. All of which were things that Adolf Hitler also did just before firing up the big ovens.

Or at least, that's what the Left would have you believe. Personally, we're delighted with the budget cuts and think they're long overdue. According to the Neilsen ratings service, if PBS went off the air (unlikely, as only part of their budget comes from taxpayers), the average viewer would still have 188 channels to choose from. Likewise, there are plenty of free broadcast radio stations with which to replace NPR in the marketplace - not to mention tens of thousands of radio stations and podcasts available online.

As for the National Endowment for the Arts, we think it unlikely that art will stop being created or distributed by real artists just because the government checks dry up. But the faux artists, so loved by the Left, will stop getting huge paydays for dunking crucifixes in urine, and will instead go back to giving the police free samples of their whiz to test for drug use.

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, saint patrick's day, rachel maddow, leprechaun

Happy Saint Patrick's Day! Although you wouldn't guess it from the Jarlsberg name, we actually have Irish blood thanks to a redheaded paternal grandfather who immigrated from County Cork. Once in America, he knocked up our grandmother (who apparently could have used a cork) out of wedlock, then scampered away like one of the elusive little people.

Leprechauns, that is. We're not mocking the short-statured nor implying in any way that they're a shifty and promiscuous lot, no matter what you're heard.

The joke, however, was on O'Grandpa - as it turned out that his bastard son became a talented and delightful man and great father. We'll be drinking a toast to his memory today, and hope you'll join us in raising a glass!


Today is a big day for Daughter Jarlsberg! She's moving to a new apartment which will be closer to her job.

She's excited, we're excited, and her dog Ladybug is excited! Still, the act of hauling all of your belongings across town, loading an apartment, and setting up a new life can be a bit harrowing. For that reason, we'll appreciate any and all positive thoughts directed toward Oklahoma today!

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Open Megaphone Day

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change , open megaphone
"Snowflakes should seek shelter in 5...4...3...2..."
Remember how we joked on Monday about how Daylight Savings Time messes with our mind? Well, we actually weren't joking at all and we're still in a walking coma. We look like Doc Brown from "Back to the Future" if he was appearing in one of those ads showing the longterm ravages of meth abuse.

That's why we're introducing an exciting new feature for everyone to enjoy on those occasions when, due to unavoidable circumstances (like our EEG flatlining), we can't meet our own rigorously high standards of journalistic excellence. Specifically, we're putting the burden on YOU to come up with interesting things to talk about in the comments section!

We'll start you with several random thoughts to show how the game is played:

• Regarding the GOP healthcare plan, we think that hitching posts should be installed outside of emergency rooms so that when people show up who have chosen not to carry insurance, the providers can decline to provide treatment "for you and the horse you rode in on."

• Kellyanne Conway, who frequently serves as interpreter when communicating President Trump's ill-expressed thoughts to those who are fervor-impaired, recently stated that kitchen appliances like microwaves "can turn into cameras" to spy on people. In the future, we suggest that Kellyanne leave such wacky pronouncements in the microwave a lot longer, because they're definitely coming out half-baked.

• MSNBC's Rachel Maddow obtained Donald Trump's taxes from 2005 and, after much huffing, puffing, and innuendo about "Russian oligarchs," anticlimactically revealed that he paid $35 million in federal taxes that year (an effective rate of 25% - higher than that MSNBC paid) and the IRS found no wrongdoing whatsoever with his returns. Meaning that the only newsworthy part of the story is who committed a felony by leaking a private tax return...and how soon can we see Trump make an example of that individual?

And now, let's hear from YOU! (Remember, to get to the comments section just click on the title of today's post, or click on the number of comments just below the post).

Monday, March 13, 2017

Spring Forward, Fall To Pieces

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, daylight saving time, coffee

We'll apologize in advance if today's commentary lacks our usual snap, crackle, and pop, but we're suffering from a severe case of Daylight Saving Time-induced brain fog.

#BlackCoffeeMatters, but no amount of that precious, steaming, life-giving liquid is enough to repair the grievous damage inflicted on our internal biorhythms by a cruel and uncaring government.

Oh sure, some people (whom we might be married to) can laugh it off, but for many of us the struggle is real. Especially if different clocks in the house are showing pre-DST time, DST time, and (in the case of Mrs. J's bedroom alarm) DST time plus 20 minutes because she likes it that way and has never learned anything from old Frankenstein movies that show the disastrous folly of toying with Nature.

(We pause briefly for a sip from our fifth cup of coffee, and to strike a stunned, unmoving pose like a dopey version of Rodin's "The Thinker" while trying to remember where words come from, how to string them together, and...uh...what were we talking about?)

Research, which we're too damn tired to look up or link to, shows that there may well be no benefit from Daylight Saving Time whatsoever: not for farmers, not for school kids, not for energy savings, or anything else. That same research shows that after any Daylight Saving Time clock change, there are more heart attacks, more car crashes, and marked increases in stress and depression.

Even worse, there's a lot more drooling on desks, although researchers don't like to talk about it.

Recovering from this debilitating "time flu" generally takes us about two weeks. We were going to say "give or take an hour," only this is no laughing matter except to those who are, unforgivably, naturally perky.

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, daylight saving time, coffee
On the plus side, where we're going the coffee will stay hot.

Friday, March 10, 2017

Details, Details

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, aca, obamacare, trump, ryan

Donald Trump and the Republicans have rolled out their initial plan to repeal and replace Obamacare, but for many Trump voters the plan (the first of three steps intended to address all aspects of reforming the ACA) isn't finding acceptance.

Why? Because they know (correctly) that Obamacare is riddled with serious problems and is harming our healthcare system and they voted to get rid of Obamacare in its entirety. And that's by God what they want!

Unfortunately, the reality of the situation is very much akin to the scenario depicted above: if you simply cut out the problems all at once with no replacement ready, the patient will die. And in this case, the bloodsoaked, flailing patient happens to be your health insurance.

We can't simply return to "the way things used to be" because Obamacare destroyed that system. It's gone. Kaput. It is not simply pining for the fjords, but has joined the choir eternal. Which is why doing an immediate and total fix is practically and politically impossible.

Rather, we need to accept (unhappily, and perhaps with an adult beverage in hand) that the Republicans only have two choices right now: a series of slow and messy patches to Obamacare that will gradually push the insurance industry back toward free market solutions, or a quick amputation of Obamacare in its entirety which will accelerate the industry's crash and make single-payer care inevitable.

We don't have to like those choices, but to deny that those are the choices can only lead to disaster.

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Menstrual Show

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, busty ross, day without a woman, protest

Well, here we go again. Progressives have announced that March 8th is "A Day Without A Woman," a massive protest about women's sacred right to be really angry about something or other, approximately one month after their last massive protest about the same thing. Which suggests that hormones may be involved in the timing, although no man without a death wish is going to say so out loud.

The idea, and we use the term loosely, is to make men (those brutish, testosterone-filled bastards) appreciate women more by making them utterly useless for an entire day. Women are being encouraged to not work (either professionally or in the home), to participate in "pussy hat" marches (with labial flap earmuffs in colder climates), and to "avoid shopping" - which strikes us as ugly and unacceptably sexist behavioral stereotyping.

In fairness, because the "no shopping" rule would be impossible to stick to for 24 consecutive hours, exceptions are being made for the fightin' fems to shop at businesses owned by women or (ahem) persons of color. So social justice warriors can still buy anything on the shopping list from Uncle Ben or Aunt Jemima.

Of course, progressive men (not that we mean to be gender normative, especially when it comes to progressives) are encouraged to participate by "helping with caregiving and domestic chores" for the day. Really?! Frankly, any guys who aren't already helping with caregiving and domestic chores every day aren't men at all - they're just assholes.

So, will the fabric of America be torn asunder by today's protests and, if so, who will do the sewing afterwards? A tough question which we definitely won't voice during the big "I Shouldn't Have To Tell You What You Did Wrong" women's march approximately 28 days from now.


The whole question of whether Donald Trump and his team were wiretapped (and the Obama team's denial of same) has just been upended by the latest release of secret documents from Wikileaks.

The whole "Russian hacking" story has been rendered moot by the revelation that the CIA has a program called UMBRAGE which not only allows them to hack computers, but to make it look like the hacking was done by someone else. Like, oh, Russia. Meaning there's no definitive evidence that the real Russia hacked DNC emails at all.

It also turns out that "wiretapping" is soooooooooo last century (which is perhaps why Obama's spokespersons are happy to specifically deny wiretapping) and that the CIA (among others) has the cyber tools to spy on anyone without any need for tapping wires, bugging phones, or planting microphones.

Basically, the intelligence spooks have the technological capability of remotely activating pretty much every phone, smartphone, computer, or smart TV in your home, car, or workplace without you knowing it (and without showing that the device is on) - allowing them to spy using the cameras and microphones you've already surrounded yourself with.

At this very moment, without leaving our office chair, we easily located five video cameras and six microphones (actually fourteen if you count all eight in our Amazon Echo) just waiting to transmit our every utterance to the intelligence overlords in Washington.

Of course, you might say "I have nothing to hide - what do I have to worry about?" We'll be happy to tell you (and thanks for asking). It seems that due to some little "oopsy," the CIA's entire arsenal of cyber-spying tools has gotten into the hands of our nation's enemies and criminal hackers.

Thanks to the "embed bugs" surrounding us, no one is safe from stealth surveillance except the Amish. Which is why if you don't make a regular practice of raising barns, you should be raising hell.

Monday, March 6, 2017

Release The Kracken

stilton's place, trump, politics, conservative, humor, satire, wiretapping, obama, lynch, jarrett
A mighty wind's a-blowin'...
There is a sweetly horrifying and breathless moment when your roller coaster car has just finished clackety-clacking skyward up steeply inclined rails, then pauses at the top just long enough for you to mutter "oh, shit" before all Hell breaks loose.

And politically speaking, that's the moment we're experiencing right now.

We won't go into all the (ever-developing) details here, but Donald Trump has accused the Obama administration of extensively wiretapping his campaign with ill intent - and so far, at least some of the evidence suggests that Trump may actually be on to something. Have our nation's intelligence agencies been involved in orchestrated attempts to subvert an election and destabilize the new administration?

As much as we usually roll our eyes at Trump's assertions that something is "yuuuuuge," in this case it's perhaps an understatement - because this is either the biggest political scandal in recent history, or evidence (some might argue further evidence) that our shiny new President is somewhat off his rocker.

Make no mistake, we find it entirely plausible that there could be an effort by the flagrantly corrupt Obama administration to abuse power in order to undermine our election process and potentially take down a sitting President of the United States. And if true, it's the sort of thing which not only demands criminal investigation and prosecution, but suggests that there might be an important secondary use for Trump's wall involving blindfolds.

We encourage Trump to use every legal weapon in his Presidential arsenal to bring the truth to the American people and bring the guilty - no matter how highly placed - to justice.  On the other hand, if that process reveals that Trump's accusations are baseless, we recommend that he seek treatment for "Twitter Tourette's" as soon as possible.

For now, not knowing which way things are going to go, all we can do is hold our hands up in the air, scream, and enjoy the wild ride.

Friday, March 3, 2017

A Whiter Shade of Fail

politics, trump, hope n' change, stilton's place, speech, democrats, white

At President Trump's wildly successful speech to Congress, female Democrats decided to show that they're tough, serious, and independent-minded by all dressing the same, the first opportunity many have had since serving as bridesmaids back in the days of the Eisenhower administration.

Theoretically, the decision for the ladies to wear white was to show their support for women's suffrage...which was codified into law 92 years ago. Disappointingly, none of the Dem dames wore anything to show their support for abolition. Racist much, ladies?


stilton's place, hope n' change, franken, sessions, Russia, conspiracy, hillary, trump

We don't know all the details of the accusations against Attorney General Jeff Sessions because, and we state this firmly and for the record, we don't give a rat's ass.

For Sessions to have taken part in a Russian conspiracy to elect Donald Trump, there would have to have been a Russian conspiracy to elect Donald Trump. Not only is there no evidence of this, but the whole premise makes no sense.

Whereas Trump was simply free-associating about the possibility of a better relationship with the Kremlin while on the stump, Hillary quietly approved the sale of 20% of America's uranium reserves to the Russians. Moreover, with her bungled Russian "reset" program as Secretary of State, Hillary had already clearly demonstrated to Putin that, if elected, she would be far easier to manipulate than the wildcard Trump.

We're hoping that Jeff Sessions stands tough against the current accusations and that Trump stands behind him. The "Russian Conspiracy" is nonsense of a high order...and the last resort of a failing and flailing political party.

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

The Nuts Who Say "Knee!"

stilton's place, hope n' change, trump, politics, conservative, liberal, vagina, conway, oval office, bill clinton
This has been a public cervix announcement.
We can't comment on President Trump's address to Congress because it hasn't happened yet at the time of this writing. We predict, however, that the President will heap praise upon himself, outline a boldly vague agenda for restoring unbelievable swellness to America ("so, so swell that you'll get sick of swelling!"), and that the Democrats in attendance will find some new way to make complete asses of themselves.

But in the meanwhile, let us reflect on the fact that those on the Left now need to manufacture a Trump-related crisis every day, and the current one is a doozy: Kellyanne Conway put her knees on an oval office sofa, thereby leaving the Left shocked (shocked!) with her lack of respect for the office.

Mind you, these are the same idiots who didn't complain a bit when Monica Lewinsky's knees hit the carpet, and Bill Clinton's "precious bodily fluids" were shooting around that same oval office like a Red Bull-fueled paintball war. Even now, there's probably more of Bill's DNA in that room than there is in Chelsea.

Of course, while focusing on Kellyanne's knees, the mainstream media ignored what was actually happening in that photo: Donald Trump was meeting with the nation's black college presidents - which you'd think the Left would approve of if they actually gave a tinker's damn about either black people or education (spoiler alert: they don't).

Then again, the ever color-conscious Left may have simply assumed this was the cast and crew of "Moonlight" showing up to demand government reparations after the Academy Awards fiasco.

Monday, February 27, 2017

And Now, On With The Show!

stilton's place, stilton, jarlsberg, conservative, comedy, news, hope n' change, trump, lefty lucy
Funny, we thought your generation knew ALL the four letter words...
Well, that didn't take long, did it? Only one month after wrapping up Hope n' Change, here I am with a brand new (yet hauntingly familiar) blog! Which may raise some questions on your part, like...

"What the heck made you change your mind about doing a blog again?"

Several things. First and foremost, it turns out that I really missed being in touch with the great HnC community. I was made keenly aware of this fact when I decided to purge the various lifelong friends on Facebook who, post-election, were declaring me and my ilk (note: you are that ilk) to be fascists, racists, pussy-grabbers, and haters. After which I had nobody left to talk to online, which was relaxing but boring.

"Why not just continue doing Hope n' Change Cartoons?"

We are now living in a very different political world and it just didn't feel right. Hope n' Change had a specific mission, which was to see Barack Obama removed from office (and simultaneously point out the myriad foibles and failings of those on the Left). Mission accomplished - albeit the hard way.

The dynamic now is very different. Donald Trump is Presidenting like he has a roman candle shooting out of his rear end, which is sometimes good, sometimes bad, and always (gulp) exciting. Meanwhile, those on the Left have upped their game from "insane" to "criminally insane," having conniption fits over the slightest of upsets and calling for the blood of conservatives to flow in the streets. Yikes!

It's an uglier and more intense battlefield than it was before, and frankly I've reached an age where I don't need the stress of swinging that vorpal sword three times a week.

"But Stilton - you look so young, vigorous, and handsome! And you've lost some weight, right?"

Yes, a little - thank you for noticing. But as I was saying, I just wasn't in the mood to get back into obsessing over the news and doing 3 cartoons and full-length commentaries every week for another run of 4 to 8 years. And various HnC stalwarts have told me that they'd still like to hang out, but would also like an occasional break from politics.

Ergo - Stilton's Place. I'll post something every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. A cartoon, a graphic, an editorial, or whatever else strikes my fancy (I really should protect my fancy by wearing a cup). The subject may be politics, entertainment, venting about home repairs, doctor visits, or arguing that "The Kid from Borneo" was the best ever episode of The Little Rascals (fact). Or maybe I'll just declare it to be an "open microphone" day with YOU supplying the topics in the comments area!

"Is it still confusing how we REACH the darn comments area?"

Think of it as the intellectual equivalent of Trump's border wall, intended to keep out riff-raff, rapists, and ruffians.

To comment, you just need to click on the title above the day's post (in this case: "And Now, On With The Show") or click on the number of comments shown at the bottom of the post. That will take you to a fresh page where you can frolic, gambol, and commune with old friends from HnC and hopefully new friends who are looking for an online oasis of erudition, goodwill, and general wise-assery.

"Will you occasionally create new political cartoons under the Hope n' Change banner?"

Why, yes! How insightful of you to ask...!

stilton's place, stilton, jarlsberg, conservative, comedy, news, hope n' change, trump, immigrants, illegal aliens, pipeline
Sadly, someone already beat me to declaring CNN to be the Clown News Network.
Such cartoons will be posted here and (probably) on Facebook. They will not be published at the old HnC site, which is going to be preserved as a standalone archive: my very own version of the Barry Soetoro Presidential Library and Progressive Holocaust Museum. 

"Is this new site entirely finished and running like a Swiss watch?"

No. I'll be tweaking the look and function for awhile (with your help). But I didn't want "perfect to be the enemy of the good" (especially since I find web design baffling) and so opted to get this site running as soon as possible.

" it good to be back?"

Yes. Very good. And it's good to have you back, too - I'll see you in the comments section!