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Friday, December 8, 2017

Al Be Seeing You!

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, al franken, resignation, sex, grope, buttock fetish, election fraud

Senate slimeball Al Franken has announced that he's resigning "in a few weeks" in response to multiple accusations that he has aggressively tried to steal kisses and is a serial fanny squeezer.

Of course, Franken doesn't admit any wrongdoing whatsoever - going so far as saying that some of the accusations are untrue (i.e., the ladies are lying - which we've previously been lectured is an impossibility) and that he has very different recollections of the other incidents. Specifically, that when he was squeezing women's backsides, he erroneously believed them to be irresistible rolls of Charmin toilet tissue (the so-called "Mr. Whipple" defense).

Our parting words for the disgraced Senator: don't let the screen door hit you where you've been hitting on everyone else.

23 comments:

James Daily said...

I would not count this chicken until it hatches. If he were serious about resigning, he would not wait a few weeks. I believe he is waiting on a wind shift or some other news where he can walk this resign back. Of course he should not be there in the first place as his election was a fraud.

Jim G. said...

Ok...no pictures of Busty Ross...I'm disappointed.

My wife, busty Cary, said she has (unbeknownst to me) pinched many peoples butts.

So I'm wondering if Al Franken should not resign or my wife should be charged with sexual harassment.

Oh my!

Best regards,
Jim G.

Dave Clark said...

I agree with James D. He used politic-speak and wouldn't be surprising if Moore wins the election that he decides to stay to either protect us from the big bad pedophile or claim if Moore gets to stay then so should he.

Fish Out of Water said...

Am with you in my didlike gor this psrson, who never seems to have grown up, but tbe few weeks may be last gesture to his staff, who now have to find jobs.

REM1875 said...

He ain't going no wheres - he just want the heat off till this all fades away and there are new crisis for this all to die out.......

Bruce Bleu said...

Remember, the libs wanted Ray Moore to quit because of the serious ALLEGATIONS against him, not because of the truth of them. NOW they say that women should be believed, not when Free Willie was RAPING women, and shrillary was destroying the accusers. The lib mindset of "BECAUSE WE SAID SO AND WE ARE BETTER THAN YOU" is why the Founding Fathers constructed the gov't we have... so "privilege" and "autocratic arrogance" wasn't our form of leadership.

Geoff King said...

Found this clip of Franken from a second rate 1976 movie I never heard of. Even back then he was a moronic womanizer:

https://youtu.be/sEuUdNaU7zcu

Jack Wiegman said...

Excellent humor!

On the other hand, I hope that you can find something funny about the fact that false accusation is devastating our nation. Victims need the publicity.

You can accuse anybody you want. You don't even have to have met the person you accuse nor do you have to describe the offense. The Montana Department of Labor and Industry (among others) confirms that no practical defense is possible. This law applies in the school, home, workplace or church.

Fred Ciampi said...

Well, one down, 286 to go. It's a good start.

Emmentaler Liimburger said...

Well, at least we (seem to) have gotten rid of Mr. Senility himself: Conyers. I'd imagine they fast-tracked that based on his inability to coherently communicate his thoughts any longer. (Which makes me wonder when we'll find out who Pelosi assaulted.)

This feeding upon themselves is their simply "morality signalling" to make them appear better than the Repugnant-cans - "Look! We're outing all who are sexual predators in our ranks! Even Slick Willie (30 years too late...) has been pilloried! Ant the evil GOP keeps pushing Judge Moore! Ooooo! They're EVIL! We're HOLY, and God is on our side..."

The funny thing is, as pointed out earlier, there are only accusations and allegations against Moore. There isn't any legal backtrail at all. Franken: photographic evidence, and his own acknowledgement. Slick Willie: legal proceeding resulting from accusations. Conyers: money trail.

joe jetson said...

Looks like the End of the "Me, Al Franken Decade". (His skit from SNL back in the late 80's.) Even funnier now.

John the Econ said...

What it really comes down to is that he's pissed that he's been thrown under the bus while Trump gets to remain President and Roy Moore is likely to get elected in Alabama. He's caught up in the purge that's taking place in a desperate effort to restore some semblance of credibility on women's issues (beyond abortion) that the Democratic Party completely flushed a quarter century ago with Bill Clinton.

"I of all people are aware there is some irony in the fact that I am leaving while a man who has bragged on tape of his history of sexual assault sits in the Oval Office," Franken said. "And a man who repeatedly preyed on young girls campaigns for the Senate with the full support of his party."

Never mind that we're talking about bragging over actually doing and there's never been a long line of credible victims lining up for talk shows like there now are for Franken.

No, he's not sorry that he's a slimeball. He's sorry he got called out for it and that instead of having the party save his sorry non-grabbed ass like it would have for a Kennedy or Clinton, he's getting flushed. (Don't worry Al, I'm sure MSNBC has a seat warmed up for you)

And speaking of Roy Moore, it seems that one of his accusers now admits to altering the infamous yearbook. Gloria Allred has called a news conference for later today to put a new spin on it. (Never mind the fact that Gloria Allred's involvement in this in the first place reduces credibility to less than zero)

Oh, and Franken hasn't actually resigned yet. He just said he was going to. I predict that should Roy Moore win, Franken will renege and stay, because he's good enough, he's smart enough, and goggone it, some people like him, at least in the US Senate.

Shelly said...

How fitting that such a weasel would put weasel words into his resignation, leaving him room to back out of it. We must remember he is one of the charter members of FOB (Friends of Bill, as in Clinton) so he learned sexual harassment and word parsing from the master. He stole his first election and is an all around despicable human being. I'm thrilled he's a casualty of the current sexual harassment purge and cannot wait until his smug visage is forever purged from the zeitgeist.

Colby Muenster said...

I agree with all y'all above (yes I live in the south, wanna fight about it!?). This is the first time I've ever heard someone announce that they are going to resign "in a few weeks." Total BS, that. And all the Democrats urging him to resign is no big surprise. They are political cannibals, and it's eat or be eaten. Even if he does actually resign (which I doubt), he will stick around long enough to vote against the tax cuts.

And how'd y'all like his whining about all the other politicians like evil Trump and Moore who aren't being urged to resign? Sounded like a 9 year old kid whining to Mom that his brother didn't also get in trouble.

John the Econ said...

@James Daily & @Dave Clark, & @Bruce Bleu, totally agreed.

I think it's pretty clear that after the dust settled from the Hillary debacle and some in the Democratic Party were able to see the data for what it was, it became clear to them that they'd largely lost middle class women who had little interest to be "with her" for no better reason that they simply shared her gender. Even worse, well over half of Republican women were happy to vote for Trump, even knowing what a misogynistic pig he was. (They knew that long before the infamous "pussy grabber" recording went public, btw)

So why would so many women abandon Hillary, or worse, vote for Trump? Because the Democrats threw them under the bus when they went all-in to save Bill Clinton almost 20 years ago. When even Gloria Steinem was happy to discard decades of feminism with her "the first grope is free" defense of Bill, thinking feminists knew they'd been had. In the decades since, women have seen their position on the Progressives Values Totem Pole sink to near the bottom in the dirt. They're discovering that the real "war on women" isn't coming from conservative males, but from the Progressive left. My guess is that taking up the side of supposedly sexually-confused men who wanted to play women's sports and use the bathroom and showers of women over the safety and comfort of women themselves was the final straw. Unless free abortions were your thing, the Democrats had little to offer mere cisgendered women anymore. (They've even now turned being a normal, heterosexual woman into a pathology)

So now, some Democrats have finally got the message. There's absolutely no way they can be credible on caring about women as long as the likes of Bill & Hillary, Franken, Conyers, and their ilk are around and defended. The Clintons are politically dead, so their now fair game, hence Donna Brazile's book and the "Hey, I get it now; Bill's a creep and Hillary defended him" op-eds. The party will be happy to sacrifice the likes of Franken & Conyers because they know their seats will safely be filled by other Democrats anyway.

If Moore wins, Franken will use that as justification for staying. But that also conflicts with the Democrat's new "moral awakening", so they'll have to make him go. I wonder what they'll offer him in exchange in addition to a prime-time spot on MSNBC?

@Geoff King, loved Tunnel Vision. Couldn't make that movie today, which makes it more ironic because of how many sketches in it are now actually pretty close to reality.

@Jack Wiegman, oh, come on! Even if accusations are completely made up, they could have happened, which is the real point, isn't it? The innocent people who have their lives destroyed are just collateral damage for the greater good.

A few weeks ago there was a tweet from some 4th-wave feminist Hollywood type that literally said that men suffering from false accusations was a price she was willing to pay. Nice, huh? Funny how Progressives are so cool with not only spending other people's money for their own political vanity, but their lives as well.

@Emmentaler Limburger, watching him try to articulate his talking points lately has gotten quite painful. Fortunately, he's appointed his successor, who seems more than able to live down to their low standards. (But will hardly help their "moral authority" problem)

Regnad Kcin said...

I've got all those decrepit DC pols figured out. Actually, they're all Daleks. Externally, they all look alike and are run by little alien beings internally, performing the movements and machinations while screaming "Exterminate !, Exterminate !" And, Pres. Trump (as Dr. Who) has come forth to rid us of their vile pestilence and foul excreta...........

Dan said...

Franken won't have to resign because he's got pictures of Pelosi and Conyers doing married things. Schumer was the photographer. The Clintons held the lights and guarded the door.
And I know this is all true because I read somewhere Harry Reid said so.

Pete (Detroit) said...

Dan, SHAME on you for putting that horrible image out there.
Ew.

Conyers used to be my reprehensitive, until last re-districting. I'm SO beyond glad that this senile racist criminal is FINALLY going away. With any luck, the voters will realize that JC3 is a tool so worthless not even Harbor Freight would sell it. Given that his cousin (who actually has some political experience) and Colman Young 3 are likely also to be competing, the name recognizing LoFos may end up splitting the ticket, and we'd actually get someone decent and coherent in there. Or, God forbid, an honest conservative...

Stan da Man said...

@Pete - at their age, "married things" should be picking out furniture and carpet... nothing so horrible about that?

JRMD from Virginia said...

Al's biggest coup, as a comedian, was getting elected. He was a P.. poor comedian and less than such as a senator. That being said, I don't know how to describe the idiots who elected him to office. Certainly not much hope for MN.

Regnad Kcin said...

My sister and her hubby just moved to western MN earlier this year. She says that the folks are the salt of the earth and well meaning. All the hotdish sucking mouth breathers that live around the Minn./St.Paul area are the real problem. They're all welfare drones and everybody has their hands out screaming "Ubi Est Mea ?" That's Latin for "Where's Mine?" for all you folks in Yorba Linda........

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- Sorry that Life has kept me from being able to respond in a timely manner, but clearly you good folks don't need my input to keep lively conversations going!

It wasn't lost on me that Franken's "resignation" wasn't quite a resignation, but I still think he's going to have to go after so many other Dems condemned him. They won't allow him to make them all look like hypocrites.

It was sort of delicious watching Franken's remarks because he clearly doesn't believe he did anything wrong, and he hates like hell to be leaving (assuming he does). Tasty, tasty schadenfreude.

It will be interesting to see what happens with Roy Moore now that we know the yearbook was faked (maybe not entirely, but that's the risk one takes with forgery). And of course, Moore is accused of nothing which even BEGINS to compare with what Bill Clinton did repeatedly.

JustaJeepGuy said...

Okay, here's why Al Franken hasn't actually resigned yet: there are bills coming up to the Senate against which the Demo_Rats will be expected to vote. One of them involves concealed-carry reciprocity. George Soros absolutely wants the Demo_Rats to shoot that down (so to speak). Al isn't sure that anyone the governor appoints in his place will reliably vote for Soros' plans, so he will make sure it happens. The scumbucket.