Month Upon a Time

Okay, we don't particularly have anything against Black History Month, but we didn't want this short month to pass without mentioning it - and slamming liberal hypocrisy at the same time. Because we genuinely believe that many liberals live their lives by the philosophy Lucy demonstrates in that last panel. After all, what fun is virtue signaling if no one is watching?

And because we're actively filling space today, here's a cartoon from the vault on the subject...

Of course, February isn't the only thing sputtering to a halt. The Winter Olympics in South Korea have finally drawn to a close and, despite the American team wowing the world and making our enemies cower by winning gold for "curling," we have no regrets about missing the whole darn thing.

Because despite the many events done in extremely different ways (as Basil Fawlty said on Gourmet Night), they all strike us as being variations on a single pointless theme: doing the hardest thing possible on a slippery surface without falling down.

So why not at least make events that people can really relate to, like having athletes race up iced apartment stairways while carrying grocery bags? Or seeing how fast athletes can use snow shovels to clear driveways? And why in the world is there no snowman-building competition?! No wonder television ratings stunk this year.

Of course, there are other ways to make the Winter Olympics interesting. Like by holding them in the summer. We present our case below...

Casual Friday

The news is uniformly dopey and annoying ("Momentum builds to give vote to 16-year olds"), so we're just keeping things light and pleasant here today.

First up, the captioned cartoon craze that's sweeping the nation...

And now, in keeping with the theme of the illustration above, we present some more random crap!

• THE KETO HAPPINESS - Weight Updeight

We're still sticking with the ketogenic diet we started at New Year's in an attempt to quickly lose enough weight to make another Ruth Bader Ginsburg (not that we'd want to), but success has been elusive. About 4 weeks in, we discovered we'd lost a grand total of 3 pounds. Obviously, something needed to change - so we've stopped weighing ourselves.

We're not noticing our clothes getting any looser either, which doesn't help motivate us to stick to a diet of meat, meat, and meat...with pork rinds for snacks. Whee.

But we're absolutely tearing it up at the YMCA's "Active Older Adults" exercise class. After just 6 short weeks, we can go as long as 5 minutes in class before we have to suck vigorously from our water bottle and gasp while our blue-haired classmates continue pumping iron while dancing.

We'll also note that there is an element of personal danger in these classes, as we're compelled to use the same kind of rubber exercise bands which allegedly beat the living hell out of Harry Reid once. The memory of which, we'll admit, is pretty much the only thing that makes us smile during our workout.

If you icepick it, it won't get better

Sliver Among the Gold

To hear the media leftists tell it, the Russian campaign to buy Facebook ads was a worse attack on the United States than the one which occurred at Pearl Harbor. That's not just our usual whimsical wordplay - that's what their talking points are currently saying: a worse attack than Pearl Harbor.

This tells us three things about these (unprintable) morons: they don't give a damn about history, they've never visited the Arizona Memorial (which is good, because it's hallowed ground), and if they ever do visit the Memorial they'll have to swim back to shore if they open their stupid yaps in front of actual Americans.

This kind of idiotic hyperbole can be dismissed with a shake of the head by rational adults of a certain age. But for younger viewers who have no actual concept of (or interest in) what Pearl Harbor represents, this kind of false equivalency can actually sway what passes for their minds.

So just how big and powerful was the Russian Facebook ad attack on America? And did those ads change the outcome of the election, as the left would have you believe?

According to an experienced campaign finance expert on Fox's "Tucker Carlson Show," the Russians spent $46,000 on Facebook ads. Meanwhile, the combined campaigns of Clinton and Trump (mostly Clinton) spent $81 million on Facebook ads (and that's not including buys from other political interest groups).

Crunching the actual numbers, this means that of all the campaign ads on Facebook, over 99.9% weren't originated by Russia. Making it pretty darn unlikely that Russia was able to tip the balance and impact the election - or even be heard over the clamor and clangor of the big money candidates.

Granted, the Russian disinformation campaign was more than a relatively microscopic number of Facebook ads. They also assaulted America with an infinitesimally small presence on Twitter and other social media sites frequented by people who enjoy a "less is more" philosophy when it comes to reading, thinking, and other challenging activities.

In closing, we just want the media to shut up about all of this, and especially want them to button their lips regarding any Pearl Harbor comparisons. Although we will concede that any day which saw the graduation of one of these buffoons from journalism school should be considered a date which will live in infamy.