School Daze

"God bless trade schools!"

Barring an unforeseen miracle, today is the day that the Electoral College will cast its votes to ratify Joe Biden's election win, making history by forever changing the definitions of "election" and "win."

The voting will take place after the failure of a legal challenge, raised by Texas and joined by many other states, that made the reasonable-sounding claim that voters in states with fair elections are harmed by having their votes defecated upon by states with Constitutionally illegal elections.

In such state vs state cases, the matter is immediately sent to the Supreme Court for consideration. Which, being 2020, went like this:

On a "glass half full" note, rulings like this strongly decrease the likelihood that the Democrats will "stack" the Supreme Court, because why the Hell would they want to mess with a good thing?

President Trump still has continuing legal challenges to the (ahem) "election's" outcome, and is said to be considering an executive order which will create "The Supremer Court" to adjudicate. Okay, we just made that part up, although now that it's in print there's no telling if the President might actually use the idea and award us the Presidential Medal of Trolling Leftists.

BONUS: TIME APPARENTLY WAITS FOR SOME MEN

Joe was also selected Person of the Year by "Better Homes & Basements" magazine.

Actionable News

It can't be easy just now to be working in the mainstream news media, because you not only have to try to cover up the Hunter Biden scandal and the Eric "Pirrow Talk" Swalwell scandal, but you also need to hide yet another scandal in a shallow grave: a study that shows even with Democrat cheating, Trump would have trounced Joe Biden at the polls if the "news" media had just been reporting actual news to their audiences.

In a survey of Biden voters in seven swing states, one in six declared they wouldn't have voted for Biden (and in some cases would've voted for Trump) if they had been aware of major news stories which somehow (ahem) had been omitted from mainstream newscasts and censored by social media sources.

Here are some of the main things that Biden voters didn't know (and which they now say would have influenced their votes). In each case, had the voters known even one of these stories, Biden would have lost.

• 35.4% of Biden voters were completely unaware that there were serious accusations of sex assault leveled against Joe Biden by former staffer Tara Reade. This despite Kamala Harris, early in her campaign, saying the accusations were credible. And, oh yeah, that Joe was a racist.

• 45.1% of Biden voters had no idea that there was a developing financial scandal (and likely influence-peddling scandal) involving Hunter Biden and his dad, Joe "The Big Guy" Biden. They were presumably also unaware that Hunter Biden's laptop computer gives damning evidence for all of this, and likewise unaware that a naked Hunter appeared in a video smoking crack while a woman stroked his poll standings with her feet.

• 25.3% of Biden voters were unaware that Kamala "Commie" Harris has the most left-wing record of anyone in the Senate, making Bernie Sanders look like Ronald Reagan. Or that she got her political start by accepting several positions (wink-wink, nudge-nudge) under married San Francisco mayor Willie Brown. It is unknown if her feet were involved, so quit asking, Hunter.

• 39.4% of Biden voters never got the news that there was an explosive resurgence in employment following the initial impact of the pandemic. 49% had further never heard that under Trump, there was a gigantic jump in economic growth this year. In fact, it is unlikely that they ever got any economic news at all that didn't include a Democrat politician's name in close proximity to the word "free."

• 43.5% of Biden voters had cartoon-style question marks floating above their heads upon hearing that President Trump brokered historic peace agreements in the Middle East and has received three nominations for the Nobel Peace Prize. A Prize which normally only goes to half-black presidents for "looking promising."

• 50.5% of Biden voters had no idea that President Trump's policies had not only made the United States energy-independent but made us an actual energy exporter. Of course, these same people have no idea that our nation can't be powered by gigantic pinwheels spun by unicorn farts.

• 36.1% of Biden voters likely had their eyeballs bugging out above their masks when told - apparently for the first time - about the Trump administration's key role in getting the Covid vaccines developed through Operation Warp Speed. They had heard, however, that President Trump was personally responsible for every single Covid death. And quite likely cancer.

And there we have it: the worst case of election interference in the history of our nation, pulled off by a consortium of media and tech companies who have made it their business to promote hate, division, and an utterly ignorant electorate to bolster their own interests and anti-American ideology.

Which, when you think about it, is one hell of a news story. It's a pity that most Democrats will never get to hear it.

AND JUST FOR MUCH-NEEDED LAUGHS...

Fruit of the Loons

So now we live in a world in which working-class people are having their lives and livelihoods destroyed by a ruling class that has enough disposable income to have custom-tailored Covid masks made to match their designer outfits each day. Although in fairness to Nancy Pelosi, health experts tell us that it's important for us to get enough Vitamin C these days - although Nancy is clearly overestimating the benefits from citrus prints on cotton.

Pelosi is at least warming to the idea of finally letting a bit of Covid relief money flow out to the general public, and she's making it clear why she was unwilling to do so previously: she didn't want the American people to have any relief until there was a different president. Because, and we say this with all due respect, she's a horrible bitch.

But unless several miracles happen (and they sometimes do!), there is indeed a different president in the offing. Which is why Joe Biden is nodding his noggin like the useless bobblehead he is while the most radical members of his party are selecting his cabinet members.

One of them is thought to be retired General Lloyd Austin, who would become Defense Secretary. General Austin's main military accomplishment is seemingly his supervision of troop withdrawals from Iraq in 2011, which worked out in less than peachy fashion.

Under a Biden administration, General Austin's main duties would be supervising the distribution of President Trump's Covid-19 vaccine (which is already happening), improving diversity in the military's top ranks, and tackling climate change as a national security issue. Because that policy was such a big success under Obama...

"But wait!" you may say. "Won't Biden appoint someone who knows how to fight a war?" And the answer is that he already plans to do so, by choosing California Attorney General Xavier Becerra to head the Health and Human Services Department, where he can continue his long-fought war against the nuns in The Little Sisters of the Poor for opposing abortions. Which is the inhuman Becerra's only experience in (ahem) health and/or human services.