Rant Collector

Despite the Leftist rhetoric that Trump voters are murderous Nazi racists, Democratic strategist James "I oughta sue that Peter Jackson guy fo' usin' my face" Carville has recently made it very clear which side the hate is really on...and its disturbing lack of limits.

In a recent podcast, Carville shared his genuinely fascistic wet dream about what he'd like to see happen when Trump leaves office...

You know what we do with collaborators? I think these corporations — my fantasy dream is that this nightmare ends in 2029, and I think we ought to have radical things — I think they all ought to have their heads shaven, they should be put in orange pajamas, and they should be marched down Pennsylvania Avenue, and the public should be invited to spit on them. The universities, the corporations, the law firms, all of these collaborators should be shaved, pajamaed, and spit on.

And what then, Herr Carville? Concentration camps? Bulldozers digging mass graves? Ovens? It's hard to picture this vile bastard rejecting any of these avenues of retribution and revenge. And note that he's not just talking about members of the Trump administration - he's talking about private corporations, universities, law firms, and presumably voters like you and me. Although thanks to my bald pate, I could at least get the last laugh on the head-shaving guy.

This is a level of hate and threat that I genuinely find shocking, paired with a quiet sense of approval from those on the Left (where is their outcry?) that I find appalling. This is a dark time for our country, and not just because of...

DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME

I was amused, barely, to see that the switch to Daylight Saving Time coincided with the Day of the Dead this year. Presumably, dead tired - because no matter which direction the clock goes I will be reliably jet-lagged for the next two weeks.

If there's a rational reason for Daylight Saving Time other than the government having fun by making people miserable, I have yet to hear it. But since they have the power to arbitrarily inflict small tortures on us, I'd like to suggest that they're being lazy by not doing more of it. To wit, here are a few ideas that the DST mavens might like to consider:

• April 27 - All supermarkets are required to loosen at least one wheel on every shopping cart to make it unsteerable while also creating a wobba-wobba-wobba sound that makes the shopper look stupid.

• January 15 thru February 15 - To reduce costly heating expenses, this 30 day period will be officially recognized by the government as being part of Summer.

• June 4th - Restaurants are required to hide a piece of eggshell in your scrambled eggs or a needle-like bone in your fish filet.

• December 11th - Anyone on Medicare or Medicaid must report to a local clinic to get a paper cut and have it sanitized with lemon juice.

• October 24th - James Carville's Birthday. Nothing special happens, but it's still a bad day for anyone who isn't a piece of human garbage.

Show Me The Monarch!

Saturday’s "National Moron Day" event proved to be a huge, stupid success as Leftists semi-spontaneously flooded the streets of cities major and minor to declare that there should be “No Kings” in America. Or maybe they were simply celebrating the fact that there are no Kings in America - their professionally printed signs were a bit vague on that score.

Still, the nation’s streets were royaling (see what I did there) with mostly white folks with good incomes or generous government benefits who apparently didn’t get the memo that our country hasn’t had a King since the American Revolution. Although in fairness, schools are so busy teaching kids how to put condoms on bananas (and the surprising places that banana can go) that there simply isn’t enough time to cover every little historical detail.

The protesters came out in throngs, except in San Francisco (where they came out in thongs owing to a possible communications error), to make clear that they will be against Kings...if any should magically appear.

Meanwhile, little Leftist children staged their own adorable marches carrying “No Boogeyman” signs, just in case one might finally be found under a bed some day.

And For No Particular Reason...

Chump Change

If it's true (and who the heck knows in this new world of AI everything), the US Mint is seriously considering issuing a one dollar commemorative coin with Donald Trump on both sides and, in celebration of our nation's 250 years of attempted unity, the phrase "Fight, Fight, Fight" - presumably with each other.

This is not a good idea.

Oh, sure - it will make the Left apoplectic and that's always worth something. Putting a sombrero on Hakeem Jeffries and playing the "Mexican Hat Dance" in the White House briefing room? Hilarious. Replacing Joe Biden's photograph in the "Presidential Walk of Fame" with a photo of the infamous autopen signing Joe's name? Chef's kiss! But I just can't get behind the shiny new Donald Dollar.

A coin commemorating America's 250th birthday should really be about the country, our history, and our aspirations. Not a highly divisive politician surviving a campaign event assassination attempt that still looks suspiciously like it involved our Intelligence agencies. That deserves investigation rather than commemoration.

Of course, the $1 coin would have practical value making it worth the significant expense of minting and distributing. Who among us doesn't feel a bit more confident and cocky with a Susan B. Anthony dollar coin in our pocket? To say nothing of the fiscal delight that comes from paying for a Forever stamp with a golden-hued Sacagawea dollar coin. Remember when skeptics said those coins would never catch on? And now each of us probably uses several of them a day!

Just kidding - everybody hated them (they were frequently mistaken for quarters) and they were pulled out of circulation and likely stored in an underground facility where they'd only be brought out again in event of a Kamala Harris presidency or other national disaster.

Surely we can find a design that speaks to our entire 250 year history rather than just the couple of years in which the country has gone certifiably nuts.

COMPLAINT DEPARTMENT

I know I said I'd try to post more often (and I will!) but for an emotionally challenged guy (if there's not already a condition called PermaGrief, I should trademark it) the news is just brutal every day lately. One or more mass murders, well-funded "protesters" attacking ICE officers who are trying to enforce the law, troops being sent into out-of-control cities to finally help make citizens safe (while the city officials side with the criminals)... how the heck does a satirist jump into that meat grinder?! And don't suggest primal screams - I've tried it and it doesn't help. Much.

SPEAKING OF SPOOKING

Just to add a little color and foolishness here, I'm still playing with AI music and video tools and enjoying it. I recently knocked out this little project about a carnival "dark ride." Perfect for helping you get into the Halloween spirit!

So step right up - tickets are just one shiny Susan B. Anthony dollar!