Release The Kracken

A mighty wind's a-blowin'...

There is a sweetly horrifying and breathless moment when your roller coaster car has just finished clackety-clacking skyward up steeply inclined rails, then pauses at the top just long enough for you to mutter "oh, shit" before all Hell breaks loose.

And politically speaking, that's the moment we're experiencing right now.

We won't go into all the (ever-developing) details here, but Donald Trump has accused the Obama administration of extensively wiretapping his campaign with ill intent - and so far, at least some of the evidence suggests that Trump may actually be on to something. Have our nation's intelligence agencies been involved in orchestrated attempts to subvert an election and destabilize the new administration?

As much as we usually roll our eyes at Trump's assertions that something is "yuuuuuge," in this case it's perhaps an understatement - because this is either the biggest political scandal in recent history, or evidence (some might argue further evidence) that our shiny new President is somewhat off his rocker.

Make no mistake, we find it entirely plausible that there could be an effort by the flagrantly corrupt Obama administration to abuse power in order to undermine our election process and potentially take down a sitting President of the United States. And if true, it's the sort of thing which not only demands criminal investigation and prosecution, but suggests that there might be an important secondary use for Trump's wall involving blindfolds.

We encourage Trump to use every legal weapon in his Presidential arsenal to bring the truth to the American people and bring the guilty - no matter how highly placed - to justice.  On the other hand, if that process reveals that Trump's accusations are baseless, we recommend that he seek treatment for "Twitter Tourette's" as soon as possible.

For now, not knowing which way things are going to go, all we can do is hold our hands up in the air, scream, and enjoy the wild ride.

A Whiter Shade of Fail

At President Trump's wildly successful speech to Congress, female Democrats decided to show that they're tough, serious, and independent-minded by all dressing the same, the first opportunity many have had since serving as bridesmaids back in the days of the Eisenhower administration.

Theoretically, the decision for the ladies to wear white was to show their support for women's suffrage...which was codified into law 92 years ago. Disappointingly, none of the Dem dames wore anything to show their support for abolition. Racist much, ladies?

BONUS: FRANKEN, MY DEAR, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN

We don't know all the details of the accusations against Attorney General Jeff Sessions because, and we state this firmly and for the record, we don't give a rat's ass.

For Sessions to have taken part in a Russian conspiracy to elect Donald Trump, there would have to have been a Russian conspiracy to elect Donald Trump. Not only is there no evidence of this, but the whole premise makes no sense.

Whereas Trump was simply free-associating about the possibility of a better relationship with the Kremlin while on the stump, Hillary quietly approved the sale of 20% of America's uranium reserves to the Russians. Moreover, with her bungled Russian "reset" program as Secretary of State, Hillary had already clearly demonstrated to Putin that, if elected, she would be far easier to manipulate than the wildcard Trump.

We're hoping that Jeff Sessions stands tough against the current accusations and that Trump stands behind him. The "Russian Conspiracy" is nonsense of a high order...and the last resort of a failing and flailing political party.

The Nuts Who Say "Knee!"

This has been a public cervix announcement.

We can't comment on President Trump's address to Congress because it hasn't happened yet at the time of this writing. We predict, however, that the President will heap praise upon himself, outline a boldly vague agenda for restoring unbelievable swellness to America ("so, so swell that you'll get sick of swelling!"), and that the Democrats in attendance will find some new way to make complete asses of themselves.

But in the meanwhile, let us reflect on the fact that those on the Left now need to manufacture a Trump-related crisis every day, and the current one is a doozy: Kellyanne Conway put her knees on an oval office sofa, thereby leaving the Left shocked (shocked!) with her lack of respect for the office.

Mind you, these are the same idiots who didn't complain a bit when Monica Lewinsky's knees hit the carpet, and Bill Clinton's "precious bodily fluids" were shooting around that same oval office like a Red Bull-fueled paintball war. Even now, there's probably more of Bill's DNA in that room than there is in Chelsea.

Of course, while focusing on Kellyanne's knees, the mainstream media ignored what was actually happening in that photo: Donald Trump was meeting with the nation's black college presidents - which you'd think the Left would approve of if they actually gave a tinker's damn about either black people or education (spoiler alert: they don't).

Then again, the ever color-conscious Left may have simply assumed this was the cast and crew of "Moonlight" showing up to demand government reparations after the Academy Awards fiasco.