In Praise of Lead Balloons

Granted, lead balloons aren't expected to fly...but in times like these we think they're just the thing for lowering one's self into quieter, calmer waters for a bit.

All of the news and social media nonsense surrounding the nightmare in Las Vegas has actually managed to make a horrible situation worse. Finger-pointing, conspiracy theories, and political opportunism are all running rampant as people try to find a way to "never let a serious crisis go to waste." And it sickens us.

On a more personal level, we're mourning the loss of Tom Petty - a damn good rocker about whom "workmanlike" should be considered a term of praise. He was an American original and spoke to and for the heartland. He created a lot of great music, and we're saddened that his contributions are too soon over.

We're also feeling emotionally drained today as we round the two month mark on home remodeling. Every day brings a delightful new surprise, assuming you consider an incipient gastric ulcer "delightful," with today being no exception.

We had a warm, wet rain overnight - and as a result our brand new, fiendishly expensive, double-paned glass back door fogged over from top to bottom. As none of our crappy 30-year old double-paned windows did this, we suspected that something was wrong with the door. But nooOOooo. The manufacturer told us that condensation was simply a feature of their overpriced door and didn't represent a problem.

Apparently, they don't actually set up the double panes to provide an insulation factor or thermal barrier (surprise!) and promise only that their special reflectivity will give energy efficiency by bouncing dangerous UV waves away from our door's exterior (where direct sunlight of ANY kind never hits) while permitting cold air to flow right through - thereby making condensation a certainty on humid days when we run our air conditioning. And yes - that combination happens a LOT in Texas.

Bonus: come Wintertime, this will translate to a cold incoming draft and interior condensation - maybe even sheets of ice upon which we can chip off and add to any alcohol we'll still be able to afford!

It being that sort of day, we ducked out of the house (it's "fix your mistakes day," so there's a lot of hammering, painting, and such going on at the Jarlsberg estate) and went to McDonald's, where we managed to bring the entire operation to a halt by turning in a complicated and, perhaps, wholly unprecedented order: "A Big Mac meal and a cheeseburger."  Seriously, the subsequent "meal" would have arrived faster if I'd ordered Duck a l'Orange on a bed of banana Moon Pies.

So please pardon this rambling, self-indulgent post. Following the horror in Las Vegas, it's going to take awhile for us to get back into the levity habit.

BONUS: MEMORIES OF TOM PETTY

Puerto Potty

And maybe lend them one of your homes?

The Left is feigning outrage over a tweet storm from Donald Trump in which he criticized the mayor of San Juan, Puerto Rico after she accused Trump of sending no aid to hurricane victims, treating Puerto Ricans like animals, and encouraging "genocide."

That mayor, who would meet all of the qualifications of being a major whackjob even if she wasn't a huge Hillary supporter, can only make such claims by ignoring the massive amounts of aid that President Trump has already sent and continues to send to the devastated island - which the complaining mayor might have known about had she actually bothered to attend any meetings with FEMA coordinators as other officials are doing (she hasn't).

The narrative that aid to Puerto Rico is somehow lacking is playing widely in mainstream media, and has absolutely no basis in fact (see below for exhaustive documentation). And while we already know that those on the Left believe they should "never let a serious crisis go to waste," it's appalling that they're using the very real suffering of those in Puerto Rico to score their cheap and baseless political points.

BONUS: #GREENEGGSMATTER

On a somewhat lighter (but no less stupid) note - First Lady Melania Trump was recently criticized in the media for having the insensitive audacity to encourage childhood literacy and give a gift of Dr. Seuss books to a library. Horrors! A staff librarian, whom we'd bet our life savings owns a pussy hat, rejected the books and derided the First Lady by claiming that Dr. Seuss's beloved children's classics are (wait for it!) racist.

We initially found this hard to swallow, but will admit to having second thoughts after discovering this shocking title...

BONUS: THE JUICE IS LOOSE (Not a Dr. Seuss Book)

UPDATE: ACTUAL AID TO PUERTO RICO (Special Thank You to Mike Rilling)

PUERTO RICO RESCUE UPDATE:
The news media is presenting the impression that Trump isn't doing much about the crisis in Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands.
So here's a summary (compiled mostly from FEMA's daily updates) of what the Trump Administration has done so far since Maria hit Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands on September 20.
By September 23 . . .
** Six commercial barges were delivering meals, water, generators, cots, and other commodities to Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands.
** Three flights per day were arriving, each carrying approximately 33,000 meals.
** The logistics support ship SS Wright arrived carrying more than 1.1 million meals, and nearly one million liters of freshwater.
** Two shipping barges with 1.2 million liters of water, 31 generators, and more than 6,000 cots have arrived in St. Thomas.
** Two additional shipping barges loaded with food, water, and emergency relief supplies are en route to the Caribbean Sea from Florida.
** Millions of additional meals were and are being flown to Puerto Rico from staging areas in Kentucky and Florida.
** DLA transported 124,000 gallons of diesel fuel to Puerto Rico.
By September 27, the Trump Administration, working with officials in Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands . . .
** Opened points of distribution (POD) in Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands for survivors to get meals, water, and other commodities.
** FEMA, working in coordination with federal partners, provided millions of meals and millions of liters of water to Puerto Rico and U.S. Virgin Islands. Additional meals and water continue to arrive at the islands daily.
** FEMA’s National Business Emergency Operations Center (NBEOC) is facilitating private sector requests for humanitarian relief.
** The NBEOC continues coordination between government and private sector organizations as the community responds to Hurricanes Maria.
** Mobile Emergency Response Support (MERS) communications assets and personnel continue to support the FEMA Incident Management Assistance Teams (IMAT), Urban Search and Rescue (US&R), National Disaster Medical System (NDMS), and other federal teams in Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands.
As of September 27, 2017 . . .
** A U.S. Coast Guard (USCG) mobile communications team is in Puerto Rico to help improve communications across the storm-impacted area.
** FEMA search and rescue teams have visited all 78 municipalities of Puerto Rico, conducting search and rescue operations and helping to assess hospitals.
** FEMA US&R task forces saved or assisted 843 individuals and five pets, while searching over 2,600 structures as of September 27.
** The U.S. Virgin Islands Water and Power Authority drinking water system is back online, and other drinking water systems on the islands are top priority for receiving generators.
** The Concordia potable water pump station is online in St. Croix.
** The U.S. Virgin Islands Water and Power Authority Waste Management, and USACE are addressing potential public health risks of garbage build up; coordinating route clearance of wires and poles to enable garbage haulers to access the St. Thomas landfill.
** The National Guard Bureau (NGB) has thousands of Guard members on the ground in Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands taking part in security and support operations. The Air National Guard is focused on transporting food, water, and communications capabilities as well as rapidly increasing airlift into affected areas.
** More than 180 Federal Law Enforcement Officers (FLEO) are in San Juan and the U.S. Virgin Islands supporting search and rescue, medical teams, and other federal responders, additional FLEOs are en route expected to arrive this week. Additional law enforcement support from New York State Police is on the ground in St. John.
** The Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has supported the restoration of services to all 8 commercial airports in Puerto Rico.
** The FAA has restored full Air Traffic Control (ATC) services to Luis Munoz Marin International Airport in San Juan and limited ATC services to Rafael Hernandez Airport in Aguadilla. Recovery efforts are now supporting more than a dozen commercial passenger flights per day at Luis Munoz Marin International Airport in San Juan, Puerto Rico.
** 26 chainsaw teams and one Incident Management Team (IMT) (23 individuals) from the Department of Agriculture United States Forest Service arrived in Puerto Rico Wednesday to conduct emergency road clearance and manage logistics.
** The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers (USACE) debris experts are assisting FEMA with debris management strategies in Puerto Rico and U.S. Virgin Islands. One of the first priorities is emergency route clearance in multiple locations to enable access to remote locations.
** USACE also completed a Blue Roof install on Cyril E. King Airport on St. Thomas, and completed its first residential Blue Roof install on September 23. Assessments for St. Croix are ongoing. A customer service center for Blue Roof installations opened over the weekend for Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands.
** To bolster the delivery of fuel throughout Puerto Rico, 100 delivery trucks were dispatched by the Defense Logistics Agency (DLA) carrying an estimated 275,000 gallons of diesel fuel.
** Power is restored to Centro Médico Hospital in San Juan and San Pablo Hospital in Bayamón, Puerto Rico.
**The Governor Juan F. Luis Hospital in St. Croix and the Schneider Regional Medical Center in St. Thomas are established as mobile hospitals.
** More than half of dialysis centers in Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands are open and accessible for patients. More critical care facilities will re-open in the coming days as power and access are restored.
** The U.S. Coast Guard reports the following port statuses with additional ports opening as assessments continue:
Puerto Rico:
Open: Port of San Juan, Guayanilla, Salinas, and Talboa
Open with restrictions: Arecibo, Fajardo, Culebra, Guayama, Mayaguez, and Vieques
U.S. Virgin Islands:
Open:
St. Thomas: Charlotte Amalie, East Gregerie Channel, Crown Bay, West Gregerie Channel
St. Croix: Krause Lagoon, Frederiksted, Limetree Bay
Open with Restrictions:
St. Thomas: Redhook Bay
St. John: Cruz Bay
** USACE coordinated transportation of more than 300 FEMA or Defense Logistics Agency (DLA) generators from across the U.S. to meet anticipated requirements in the islands. More generators continue to arrive.
The above info is compiled mostly from the FEMA website, which provides a daily update on what's happening.
And this from my military expert friend J Michael Waller who is tracking this closely. I'll just copy and paste here what he reports:
US Navy/Marine Corps Assets currently on station, or enroute to the Caribbean AOR:
26th Marine Expeditionary Unit with Battalion Landing Team 2/6
Carrier USS Abraham Lincoln Battle Group
Amphibious Assault Ship USS Wasp
Amphibious Assault Ship USS Iwo Jima
Amphibious Assault Ship USS Kearsarge
Amphibious Transport Dock USS New York
Amphibious Landing Ship USS Oak Hill
Hospital Ship USNS Comfort
Aviation Logistics Support Ship USNS Wright
Dry Cargo Ship USNS William McLean
The above are enough assets to land an entire USMC Marine Expeditionary Brigade, with combat logistics elements. For those who don't know what that is, that's several thousand Marines, with all their gear.
All of the above, with the exception of the hospital ship, are capable of independent air operations.
Note: MEDEVACs are ALREADY being done, and began IMMEDIATELY by the US Coast Guard, and US Navy aviation.
Carrier USS Abraham Lincoln is producing purified potable water, at the rate of 400,000 gallons a day. Full capacity.
The carrier, all 3 assault ships, the LSD, and LPD, all have operating rooms to stabilize critical medical/trauma cases, prior to evacuation to either the hospital ship, or land based medical treatment facilities.
The hospital ship is capable of handling a patient load of up to 1,000 patients, with full OR, ICU, and Recovery wards.
In addition, fleet refueling ships are also enroute to provide fuel specifically for public safety equipment on the ground.
Obviously, the human catastrophe in Puerto Rico continues to be dire. Pray for Puerto Rico. And much work still needs to be done.
But it's just inaccurate (intentionally inaccurate) to suggest that Trump has not taken every conceivable action to help the 3.4 million people of Puerto Rico.

in addition to this there are in excess of 10,000 giant shipping containers filled with emergency supplies and the mayor refuses to work with the trucking Union to get distributed throughout the Island

What else should he be doing?

Killer Queen

In a recent interview with Charlie Rose, embittered loser Hillary Clinton advanced the idea that President Trump is no better than Vladimir Putin, and added "Hopefully he hasn't ordered the killings of people and journalists and the like."

Ironically, she made this statement only days after a blogger who created "fake news" during the election cycle and credited himself with helping Trump win was found dead as a doornail at age 38. Initial speculation is that he overdosed on prescription medication, which is easy to do when a sawed off shotgun is held to your head and you're ordered to keep swallowing pills.

Ignoring for the moment the huge likelihood that Hillary has personally ordered more killings than the Cosa Nostra, her murderous accusations about a sitting President of the United States are beyond despicable.

We'd say more, but we don't want to suddenly meet with a fatal "remodeling" accident.

BONUS: THANKS FOR THE MAMMARIES

Yesterday the world lost Hugh Hefner, age 91, the creator of Playboy magazine, the Playboy philosophy, the Playboy mansion, and Most Valuable Player in the kickoff of the sexual revolution.

Playboy was a significant influence on many a young man back in its heyday, because it really was about more than just the nudie pictures - although what pictures they were! Modestly posed (by today's standards) with natural bodies of all shapes and sizes appealingly free of surgical enhancement.

It was only in later years, facing competition from raunchier fare like Penthouse and Hustler, that Playboy's photos turned more to (as Archie Bunker once said) the "groinecological."

But apart from the Playmates, any given issue of Playboy (and we're recalling back to the 70's here) had much else to offer. Yes, the interviews and articles really were top notch and not just filler. And for those of us who were into cartoons, Playboy was a little slice of heaven. The creepy stylings of Gahan Wilson, the exquisite line work of Shel Silverstein, Sokol, Rodriguez, and many more. And the delightful Mad-ness (pun fully intended) of "Little Annie Fanny" by Harvey Kurtzman and Will Elder.

We haven't looked at a current issue of Playboy in decades, but our fond memories linger on. And so we feel the loss of Hugh Hefner with genuine sadness as another little piece of a more innocent past flickers out.

Coincidentally, the day Hef died was also the day we finally threw out our waterbed. It will soon be replaced by something less hedonistic and more geriatric-friendly. Further proof that Time is a harsh mistress who doesn't have a staple in her belly button.