Birdbrains of a Feather

We couldn't help but be struck by the similarities between "Mueller" and "Mullah" when considering the day's news.

In Mueller's case, he rejected an offer from Trump's legal team to have the President answer all of the special investigator's questions in writing. This was unacceptable because all Mueller would get out of that would be answers to his questions rather than a chance to impeach Trump for lack of motor control over his mouth.

Meanwhile, Iran's top Mullah was one of many in that country (and others) who wasn't happy to hear that the President is pulling the United States out of the idiotic, one-sided "nuclear agreement" negotiated by John "Horseface" Kerry and Barack "Hussein" Obama.

And it's a good thing: the Obama "agreement" (never voted on by our elected representatives) cut back on Iranian sanctions, repatriated (and then some) staggering sums of money for the country to use to fund terrorism and work on nuke-capable missiles, and pretty much guaranteed that Iran would have an unfettered nuclear weapons program in 2025...assuming they hadn't already achieved such in their hidden and/or "self inspected" nuclear research facilities.

We see this as a double win for Trump and the American people. And no, we're not tired of winning yet.

FIGURES OF SPEECH

First Lady Melania Trump gave a speech this week to lay out an anti-bullying campaign that she'll be leading. She was gracious, eloquent, and compelling...but Progressives immediately took to the Twitterverse to disparage the world traveling, multi-lingual First Lady for having a "funny accent" and not "sounding like an American."

This in a country where we now have to punch buttons on our phones if we wish to continue a conversation in English.

Of course, no such criticisms from the Left ever appeared when former First Lady Hillary Clinton made a magical vocal transformation into a character straight out of "Amos and Andy" when addressing a crowd of African-Americans.

We will also point out that unlike our current First Lady, Mrs. Clinton "ain't no ways" bilingual. Sure, she's two faced - but they both speak English.

Die Hardest

We're not huge fans of Senator John McCain, but we do have to give him grudging style points for planning the guest list at his own funeral and letting the world know that President Trump is not invited.

The animosity between the two men is well documented and well deserved, with each thinking (with considerable justification) that the other is a complete a**hole. Certainly Donald Trump didn't cover himself in glory when he said of McCain, "He's not a war hero. He was a war hero because he was captured. I like people who weren't captured." Ouch.

We'll let the historians sort out the issue of McCain's heroism, and instead focus on the immense service he's given to the country with 40 years as the Senate's single most reliable vote for anything the Democrats are pushing. Not that his accomplishments have been limited to politics; few know that he was also responsible for telling Marlon Brando to "stuff your cheeks with cotton like I do" to play the Godfather.

Despite our political disagreements with McCain, we're genuinely sorry that he is apparently nearing the last stages of a terminal illness. And remarkably, despite everything, he seems to have retained his famous sense of humor. For instance, he recently told Joe Biden to stay in politics.

As the saying goes, "always leave 'em laughing."

The Eternal McFlame.

Our Motto: Be Repaired

Yes, it's true...the "boy part" has been cut from the Boy Scout program, and the members (so to speak) will only be referred to as genderless scouts.

The change is due to the fact that the organization now allows girls (and middle-aged men who identify as girls) to join in the campfire-building, merit badge-earning, marshmallow-toasting fun and therefore didn't want a repugnant, divisive, gender specific name like that still used by those sex Nazi's in the "Girl Scouts."

Technically, the official name of the program will be Scout BSA, so the word "boy" is still hidden in there, but much like the word "colored" which lurks in the name of the NAACP, we're all supposed to pretend that it doesn't exist.

Sadly, the real story is that not enough kids are interested in being any kind of scouts these days which is why the Boy Scouts are trying to steal as much of the Girl Scout membership as possible.

But even though we understand the rationale, we're sorry to see yet another traditional bit of masculinity bite the dust. Especially since when it comes to "social justice," even when huge accommodations are made, someone will always want s'more.

INFECTIOUS PERSONALITY

Michelle Obama recently referred to herself as our "Forever First Lady," apparently under the mistaken belief that, like the "Highlander" legend, she becomes stronger and more powerful each time another First Lady dies.

We're pretty sure the system doesn't really work like that, although if we see Hillary and Michelle charging at each other with broadswords we'll have to reexamine our beliefs.

HAPPY CULTURAL APPROPRIATION DAY!

Saturday is Cinco de Mayo - a very, very important holiday which celebrates half-priced margaritas, pressing "1" for English, and the complete loss of entry level jobs for actual Americans. Drink up!