Separation Anxiety

Despite President Trump issuing an Executive Order intended to help the families of illegal immigrants stick together while being processed and/or prosecuted, it would appear that our nation's heartbreaking Third Reich Holocaust-style abuse of children is still not at an end.

We know this because of a recently released study which could bring tears to a grown man's eyes. And yes, we're referring to Rachel Maddow.

Specifically, the study showed a small but significant decrease in the number of 18-to-34 year olds who were forced by economic necessity (i.e. the Obamaconomy) to continue living with their parents. As the children are dragged away to become members of the capitalist workforce, bitter tears are being shed.

"I thought, like, my parents needed a court order to make me leave," sobbed one 28-year-old pajama boy, "especially since I'm still being breast fed!"

President Trump, predictably, is unmoved by the children being separated from their parents, and ruthlessly continues to encourage job growth. This despite strong condemnation from Left-leaning leaders like Nancy Pelosi who has said, "You can look and look in the Bible, but you won't find any justification for young Americans taking "the jobs that Americans won't do" away from the undocumented and frequently gang-affiliated immigrants who would do "the jobs that Americans won't do" if Americans weren't doing them. If you don't believe me, then believe Jesus."

Far be it from us to argue theology with an expert like Ms. Pelosi. So we will suggest only that we all take time to pray for the families being ripped asunder by employment, prosperity, and a reawakening sense of self-worth and independence.

BONUS: SLEAZY WRITER

Alleged actor Peter Fonda took to Twitter recently to voice his hatred for the First Family, and to encourage kidnapping and pederasty as useful tools for the Left to demonstrate their moral superiority to the Deplorables in our nation.

Here's what he tweeted:

The First Lady has subsequently asked the Secret Service to investigate Mr. Fonda, not only because of the appalling nature of his threats, but because most movie fans have been convinced that the actor died years ago, along with his career.

Not that he didn't have one good scene in the only memorable movie he was ever in. Specifically, this scene:

Even more enjoyable when viewed on a continuous loop!

Seriously (which we aren't very often), Fonda's rhetoric - which he has since apologized for - goes way too far and should not fall under the province of protected speech. He is calling for violence against the First Family and, specifically, the violent rape of a child. Because he's so sensitive and enlightened, you see.

Even worse, he's making this call to action to his thousands of followers, any one of whom might decide to implement it. Especially since Peter Fonda can't possibly have any followers who are, as we say in the psychological field, "right in the head."

How could they be, when exposed to a regular diet of Fonda's other sociopathic tweets like this one about our nation's Director of Homeland Security:

For those blissfully unfamiliar with the term, "gash" is an obscene reference to female genitalia, and is considered to be even uglier, more unacceptable, and more sexually demeaning than Samantha Bee's "c-word" description of our First Lady.

It is a word so foul, fetid, and unforgivable that we would personally never use it about any woman.

Except, of course, Jane Fonda.

BREAKING NEWS: CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER 1950-2018

We were just finishing today's post when we got word that Fox News contributor (and so very much more) Dr. Charles Krauthammer has died of cancer. Little more than a month ago, he and we believed that he would be returning to the airways after an extended illness - at a time when his wit, wisdom, encyclopedic knowledge, and stunning gifts of insight and analysis were so desperately needed.

It didn't work out that way. Not quite two weeks ago, he wrote an eloquent and moving public letter to let everyone know that his cancer had returned and his battle was at an end. Sadly, he was right.

We can't express the sense of personal loss we're feeling right now. For years, we hung on Dr. Krauthammer's every word - not necessarily agreeing with everything he said, but recognizing the intellectual honesty and integrity which demanded that we take him seriously and, when necessary, reexamine our own opinions.

Besides his remarkable academic gifts, Charles Krauthammer could make us laugh, loudly and frequently. And he radiated a strength and positivity about life, despite facing and overcoming enormous personal obstacles, which was nothing less than inspirational.

His passing is a huge loss for our country, our culture, and to our lives. We are grateful for the time he shared with all of us, and wish there could have been so much more.

The 5000 Fingers of President T

"And be careful with those Little Hands hats!"

Sea levels are rising dramatically owing to the outpouring of Liberal tears over the evil President T's continuing abduction of immigrant children as they cross America's southern border.

Once separated from their families, the weeping waifs are forced to pound out patriotic songs on the White House "500 Kid Piano" - every key of which was made with endangered elephant ivory - while President T waves his baton and screams that the children have to play "bigly" if they ever hope to see their parents again.

Okay, that's not really what Trump is doing, although it's as true as what you're likely to hear from the mainstream media these days. What we were describing was Dr. Seuss's fever dream of a kid's movie, "The 5000 Fingers of Dr. T," about which there are two cinematic schools of thought: those who think it's one of the greatest films ever, and those who wouldn't know a great film if it bit them in their piano bench region.

But returning (reluctantly) to reality, Leftists and other soft-headed types are having absolute conniption fits over President Trump's brand new policy of temporarily separating kids from their families when they enter the country illegally. And when we say "brand new policy," we mean exactly the same policy which has been law since champion-of-the-children Bill "Pedophile Island" Clinton was president. Certainly, Barack Obama made major use of the policy, albeit without a peep of complaint from the mainstream media.

The separations occur only after illegal border crossings (i.e. not when people come to an actual American port of entry and make a simple asylum claim) and are done in part to give social services time to ascertain whether the kids are actually traveling with a parent, or simply being dragged over the border by an MS-13 gang member who transports minors for sex trafficking.

Despite what cynical liars like Hillary Clinton say in their self-serving fundraising letters, the kids are not kept in cages, ripped from the arms of breastfeeding mothers, or mistreated in any way. And come to think of it, wasn't it Hillary F. Clinton who claimed, "it takes a village" (i.e. the government) to raise kids rather than actual parents?!

The "news" media and equally laughable social media are treating this as an ongoing repeat of the Holocaust (no, really - they've played that card) rather than the continuing implementation of decades' old policy. And among their favorite tools are memes showing pitiful children in cages, like this one:

The problem is that this photo is staged, and the poor kid is actually inside a cage because he was put there by a bunch of loudmouthed anti-border protesters (who are the other people carefully cropped out of the photo). 

We don't really want to add to the flood of fake news, but if the Left wants to make false claims about this picture, why shouldn't we make even better false claims...?

Seriously, wouldn't it be fun to see this go viral?

Feel free to post this meme anywhere it might offend or confuse a Leftist. And in the meanwhile, don't worry too much about what's happening to those unfortunate children whose parents are using them to skirt American law. As The Who once sang, the kids are alright.

The Nut Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree

(Reprinted/updated from 2016)

Insanity doesn't run in our family. It gallops.

Let us close our eyes and ears to the usual insanity in the news, and instead take a moment to celebrate fathers on the day after Father's Day. Specifically my father, although I've never heard a bad word said about your father.

I lost my father 12 years ago, but plenty of colorful memories survive. He was a kind and gentle man, a great husband and father, and the most creative and funniest man I've ever known or hope to know.

He was a gifted writer, an award-winning painter, prolific cartoonist, part-time inventor (with multiple patents, including the one for the yo-yo seen with the bikini babe above), successful entrepreneur, and flamboyant cross-dresser. Okay, he wasn't actually that last one, although he was certainly willing to wear whatever Easter outfit he thought would give others a laugh.

Of the many gifts he bestowed, it is likely that this desire to make others laugh (and a delightfully skewed view of the world) is what has influenced me most. In every way imaginable, I'm my father's son and glad to be so.

So here's a big Stilton's Place cheer not just for my dad, but for all dads who invest their lives and love doing so much for their families.