Slogan Control

The Democrats are growing in confidence (okay, technically it's arrogance) regarding November's mid-term elections, and it's not surprising. According to allegedly unbiased news outlets, the United States has fallen under Russian control, Trump is stuffing weeping immigrant children into concentration camps, rising employment numbers are a "trick" that voters shouldn't be fooled by, and Western Civilization itself is on the verge of collapse because the President asked NATO members to start actually paying their dues.

Adding to the Democrats' cockiness about a "Blue Wave" coming to the polls is the knowledge that their party has a deep bench of exciting politicians who youthful, energetic voters naturally gravitate to. This would include swinging hipsters with fresh ideas like Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, Maxine Waters, Joe Biden and more!

So really, the only missing piece of the puzzle heading into the mid-terms was for the Democrats to come up with a really great slogan which would not only encapsulate their broad vision for America's future, but also represent a strong call to action for an energized electorate.

And that slogan is...is..."For the People."

Hmmmm.

Not only is it more than a little vague, it's more than a little familiar. In fact, the phrase has been stolen outright from a famous quote by a Republican. Specifically Abraham Lincoln who, in his Gettysburg Address, referred to an ideal government "of the people, by the people, and for the people."

That's a damn good phrase as it stands, so why would the Democrats cut anything out of it? And the answer is they have to because they only believe in one third (or less) of what Honest Abe was espousing.

"Of the people" refers to legislators who are ordinary citizens from many walks of life. People bringing their different experiences together to form a miniaturized representation of the country as a whole. People who intend to return to "real life" after political service, rather than choosing to become a permanent part of a ruling class entirely divided from the peons. "Of the people" was never intended to mean lawyers, millionaires, and sleazy power brokers of the kind that populate the Democratic halls of power. So that part of Lincoln's wisdom had to go.

"By the people" refers to the fact that for a representational government to work, those sent to Washington should be chosen by their fellow citizens in honest elections. But "honest elections" are hardly what the Democrats are looking for. Between Hillary buying the DNC in order to sabotage Bernie Sanders, rampant voter fraud, an ideologically corrupt press, and billion-dollar ad campaigns spreading wild and pernicious lies, it becomes clear that the DNC can't trust a government selected "by the people" to be what they want. So another part of Abe's idiom got the axe.

Which leaves only "For the people" - the vaguest part of the triumvirate as it is entirely subjective, and doesn't so much mean that those in Washington are serving the electorate, but rather ruling them  for their own benighted good.

Put it all together, and you have a party whose politicians are not representative of the American body as a whole, and who are put into office through questionable methods that try to sidestep the annoying meddling of actual American voters. And all so that those Democrats who do become fixtures in the halls of profit and power can do whatever they believe is best "for" the common people whether it helps those people or not.

So we think the Dems have rather missed the mark with this not-so-catchy "new" slogan, and think that truth in advertising demands they instead use the alternative mentioned by Schumer in today's cartoon: same slogan, different f-word.

NOTE: STILTON'S STAYCATION

Peace, quiet, and sweet cooling mud

Assuming that there are no larger-than-usual "end of the world" events next week, we'll be taking time off from Stilton's Place for a little staycation until Monday, July 30.

There's no particular rhyme or reason behind the timing, other than we've got an overabundance of backed up chores to attend to. And what better time to tackle indoor work than late July in Texas, when the grass is smoldering and vultures are actually bursting into flames mid-air? Doing anything in air conditioning is looking pretty sweet right now.

So we'll see you a week from Monday if not before. And as always, we'll be popping into the comments section regularly!

Much Ado About Trump Thing

Sadly, Trump also didn't instigate a nuclear war.

Looking at the most recent news cycle, we feel that our nation has reached a crisis point which requires the services of an exciting new superhero.

When alleged journalists lose their minds about Donald Trump and start screaming and foaming at the mouth, STFUman would suddenly appear with his trusty whiffle bat and thonk, thonk, thonk the hysterical newsperson on the noggin until either sanity or blissful unconsciousness was reached.

He would then dart away in a flash, remove his mask, cover his spandex uniform with street clothes, and slip the whiffle bat into his pant leg to make his escape unnoticed. Except for a really lopsided walk.

If he were available, STFUman would have had his hands full over the last couple of days as everyone on the Left and many on the Right lost their ever-loving minds over President Trump's press conference remarks following his one-on-one meeting with Vladimir Putin.

In a nutshell, and we've never used that phrase more appropriately, Donald Trump didn't turn to Putin during the press conference and call him a dirty, lying bastard who overthrew the 2016 Presidential election. Rather, Trump said that our intelligence services (which have been demonstrably dripping with anti-Trump corruption) have claimed there was Russian meddling, while Putin told him behind closed doors that there wasn't Russian meddling.

Trump then had the apparently treasonous gall to suggest that we try to solve this impasse by looking at actual physical evidence, like the allegedly-hacked DNC computer server which neither the FBI nor any other law enforcement agency has ever even looked at.

This entirely reasonable suggestion basically opened the gates of fake news hell. Subsequent stories declared Trump to be a traitor and tool of Putin, and his press conference appearance was likened to Kristallnacht, the Cuban Missile Crisis, 9/11, and the attack on Pearl Harbor. One congressman even tweeted that it was time for the US military to step up to the plate, presumably to stage a coups d'etat to preserve democracy. Because nothing says "freedom" to Leftists quite like martial law and government at gunpoint.

Lost in all of this cacophony is any discussion of what Trump might have actually said to Putin behind closed doors before presenting a pleasant face for the press. For all we know, Trump told Putin that he'd rip the weasel-faced dictator's leg off and beat him senseless with it if there was even suspicion of Russian meddling in the future.

Trump has since offered a predictably confusing "clarification" of his press conference remarks, which strikes us as unnecessary considering that few outlets were reporting on what he actually said versus what they feverishly fantasized.

Frankly, we think this whole media uproar is another exercise in willful lunacy which is far more damaging to our nation than anything Russia could possibly do. We'd say even more, but we've got a lot of sit-ups to do if we're going to fit into that spandex uniform.

Vlad Tidings

"We won't Barry you."

The very idea of President Trump having a summit meeting with Vladimir Putin has thrown the Left into towering paroxysms of rage, terror, and confusion unseen since...well...actually we see them pitch these hysterical hissy fits all the time about pretty much everything, be it gender-binary bathrooms, a cartoon of a vegan-offending egg in a salad emoji, or the terrifying possibility of trade wars raising the price of Chinese-made pussy hats.

The stated fear of those on the Left is that Trump won't have the strength to stand up against Putin, whom they believe to be some sort of mighty warrior commanding the superior economic, technological, and military resources which have made modern day Russia into the White Wakanda. Which ironically has a small element of truth, in that Wakanda is pure fiction, too (but please don't tell this to Progressives - it would break their hearts).

The irony here is that those on the Left seemingly had no problem with Saint Soetoro, just prior to his reelection, whispering (so as not to tip off those pesky American voters) that he would be offering Putin much more "flexibility" (about freaking missile deployment, no less) after the election.

That's the kind of flexibility which is most closely associated with the generous use of KY Jelly, and which was emblematic of Barry's method of "assuming the position" for every "tough guy" state in the world, be it Russia, Iran, North Korea, or a jihadi califate. Not for nothing was his leadership strategy accurately described as "bleeding from behind."

We're also a bit confused by the Left's insistence that Trump can be easily shoved around. Aren't they the ones who've been calling him Hitler since the day he took office?! Say what you will about old Adolf, but he didn't exactly have a reputation for being a pushover in his dealings with Russia or anyone else. But then, those on the Left aren't exactly exalted for their knowledge of history.

Here at Stilton's Place, we're certainly not expecting much positive to come out of the meeting between Trump and Putin, but we're also not expecting to lose anything at all. And after 8 years of Obama, that's still a glorious feeling.