Give Us This Day Our Daily Brett

We'll freely admit the obvious: we don't have anything new to say about the Kavanaugh confirmation fiasco, other than that we hope it will be over soon.

Well that's not entirely true; what we really hope is that Kavanaugh's confirmation by the full senate will happen soon (perhaps Saturday), and that this result will be shoved forcefully up the Democrats' rectal regions sideways, sans lube (we'll make an exception for Ben-Gay), and then given a half-twist.

We further hope that Supreme Court Justice Kavanaugh won't be a "forgive and forget" kind of guy, and will instead routinely end his legal opinions with large, bold, blood-colored lettering stating "Vengeance is mine!"

When the final vote comes Senators won't actually be voting for or against Kavanaugh as much as they're voting for or against complete anarchy and the end of due process. That's a verdict that should be of concern to every American.

Currently, it's being reported that the new FBI probe demanded by the Democrats has turned up absolutely nothing to indicate that Brett Kavanaugh was anything other than a typical (albeit high-performing) beer-drinking college student who then evolved into a remarkable human being of the highest standards imaginable. A gentleman, a scholar, and a demonstrable and lauded champion of women for decades.

We've had our fill of watching the Dems and the Leftist media casting stones at this good man. Now, we have to see if the Republicans have the stones to finally do the right thing.

Harvard-Har-Har!

Democrats have likened the Brett Kavanaugh confirmation process to a "job interview," but it's increasingly clear that - unless he's seated on the Supreme Court - the actual outcome will be more like career suicide.

As a case in point, it was recently announced that Judge Kavanaugh will not be teaching his "Recent History of the Supreme Court" class at Harvard next year, despite the face that no one on Earth could possibly be more expert on that particular topic just now.

It's unclear whether Kavanaugh simply didn't feel he could commit to the class, whether officials at Harvard dumped him, or whether this is the result of a letter damning Kavanaugh signed by over 860 Harvard Law School graduates.

Which presents us with a highly troubling question: how could Harvard Law School have so many graduates who obviously don't know diddly-squat about the law?

Nope, these abysmal morons have convicted and sentenced Kavanaugh solely on the basis of what he has been accused of with no evidence in support of that accusation. And if that's the new standard for finding guilt "beyond a shadow of a doubt," then why the hell do we need lawyers at all? Harvard Law School might be wise to update their program and dispense entirely with the teaching of law in favor of teaching students the correct way to swing a headman's axe.

But frankly, even Harvard is falling behind the zealotry zeitgeist here - as is ably demonstrated by what we're hearing from the more progressive Georgetown University. There, associate professor Dr. Carol Christine Fair (ha!) tweeted about GOP members of the Senate Judiciary Committee, "All of them deserve miserable deaths while feminists laugh as they take their last gasps. Bonus: we castrate their corpses and feed them to swine."

We would call Dr. Fair a hateful, racist, sexist sociopath but, in absolute fairness, it sounds like this might just be that special "time of the month" when she can't control her faculties.

Too bad that Georgetown can't either.

BONUS: THE ICEMAN JUDGETH

Actual photo of Kavanaugh taken by Matthew Brady.

Many on the Left have been demanding to know why Brett Kavanaugh's confirmation is being "rushed through," despite the fact that the amount of time has been absolutely typical of all such hearings, whether the nominee comes from a Democrat or Republican President.

But it now appears that the GOP actually did want to get Kavanaugh confirmed before his Terrible Secret could be revealed. And now it's too late.

A serious and credible accusation has been made that in 1985, college student Kavanaugh was drinking beer in a bar with friends when heated words were exchanged with another patron, whereupon Kavanaugh, with premeditation and malice aforethought, may (or may not) have thrown a piece of ice at his opponent.

Oh sure, ice may not sound like a big deal at first, but it was a pretty big damn deal to those on the Titanic. And as anyone who has watched "A Christmas Story" several dozen times knows, a falling icicle can put your eye out.

Some may claim that Kavanaugh is now a changed man, and point to the fact that he hasn't been accused of throwing ice at anyone in recent years. But how could he, even if he wanted to? As Al Gore so accurately predicted, global warming caused the last piece of ice on Earth to melt back in 1993. Kavanaugh may still be a sociopathic ice-flinging maniac who has simply run out of ammunition but still has stockpiles of deep-seated beer-triggered aggression waiting to explode. Imagine the carnage he could cause to the other members of the Supreme Court if he gets his hands on an assault Slurpee.

Then again, it might actually be a good way to occasionally wake up Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

House Arrest

Sometime later this week, we can confidently predict that Democrats and the media will be howling in anger at the inconclusive results of a weeklong FBI investigation into what may or may not have happened during a two minute period behind a closed bedroom door in an unknown house on an unknown day, month, and year, with no witnesses, approximately 36 years ago.

Unless the FBI gets access to a time-traveling DeLorean, there's simply no way they can find out anything new. Not that the Democrats actually care. Their attitude, to paraphrase Doc Brown, is "Where we're going, we don't need evidence."

To put matters in sad perspective, today is the one year anniversary of the nightmarish Las Vegas shootings that killed 58 people and injured hundreds of others. It was the largest mass murder in U.S. history. The FBI has now had a year to investigate what happened in a bedroom that became a sniper's perch. They've been able to draw on their own investigators and labs, the Mandalay Bay resort's security personnel and apparatus, multiple closed circuit cameras recording videos before and at the time of the event, and the statements of countless witnesses.

And they've come up with nothing to explain how and why this bloodbath occurred. What happened in that bedroom remains a mystery.

This being the case, it strains credulity to think that, given seven days, even the FBI can somehow divine the truth of a brief alleged bedroom humping from decades ago.

Of course, even if the FBI could produce absolute proof that Brett Kavanaugh is 100% innocent of all accusations, it wouldn't change a single senate Democrat's vote against his confirmation. Because this dissection of a good man isn't really about Kavanaugh at all. It's about protecting the Left's "right" to continue dissecting unborn children without any pesky legal restraints.

We don't know yet how this will play out, but we do have to acknowledge that the Democrats have worked tirelessly to ruin Kavanaugh's good name. They have worked so hard, in fact, that we think they deserve some time off from public life when all this is over.

Another 36 years feels about right.