Don't Say We Didn't Warren You

As always, you can click the cartoon for a larger view (and read the itty-bitty type above).

Well, the test results are in, and it seems that presidential wannabee Elizabeth "Princess Running Gag" Warren isn't quite the Cherokee warrior she claimed to be as a "woman of color."

Rather, her DNA showed that she might be 1/1024th Native American - which is less than most white Americans - but even that infinitesimal number might be wrong because there are no Native American DNA samples to compare hers with. So the DNA "specialist" compared those particular genes with ones found in other populations in Mexico and South America. Meaning that Warren may actually be Incan, Aztec, or Mayan and have a family history better suited to human sacrifice than running casinos.

But the important thing to take away from this DNA test is that Elizabeth Warren is so white that she makes Casper the ghost look like Kanye West.

Warren has made it clear that her presidential ambitions mean we'll be seeing a lot of her in the future, which makes us think that this is a good time to revisit the past. To that end, enjoy this short retrospective of cartoons...

BONUS: ERROR ON A G-STRING

We can't really resist commenting about a judge's decision to throw out Stormy Daniels' defamation case against President Trump...and his order that she pay all of his legal expenses in the case as a deterrent to frivolous suits brought by skeezy lawyers like Michael Avenatti. 

We still think he banged her, though.

Witch Way Did They Go

No, that isn't Hillary - though she gets that a lot.

While most things in America seem to be improving under the Tump administration, these are desperately hard times for satirists. How in the world are we supposed to come up with stories more ridiculous than those actually being presented as news?

As an October-appropriate example, the laughingly liberal Huffington Post is reporting that dozens of witches will gather in New York City a few days from now to put a hex on Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh. The ceremony will include photos and effigies of Kavanaugh as well as graveyard dirt and coffin nails so everyone will know that the hex maniacs are taking this thing seriously.

The harpies see this as a "radical act of resistance," which they are doing entirely for the benefit of the "oppressed, downtrodden and marginalized." So it is merely coincidental that these politically woke witches have sold $10 tickets to as many as a thousand people to attend the ritual, even though their venue, "Catland," will only hold 60.

Not that the witches will keep all the money. They plan to give 25% of the take to an LGBTQ center for homeless youth, which probably isn't a bad thing, and another 25% to the cackling cauldron-stirrers at Planned Parenthood, a group which is more hellish than any coven could ever hope to be.

Brutality is in the Eye of E. Holder

And of course, Holder's armed New Black Panther pals will handle the polling places.

Enraged by the fact that Donald Trump is, in fact, "winning" on the national and international stages, and doing more for America's minority communities than Obama accomplished in 8 years, top Democrats have been hard pressed to come up with a rebuttal to this administration's remarkable success. But at last, they've found something: increasing calls for physical violence against anyone who opposes their racist, sexist, and socialist policies.

And the calls for violence aren't just coming from the meth-using, basement-dwelling, Antifa minions who get a weekly allowance from George Soros (and, probably, their long-suffering parents). No, the bloodlusting battle cries are coming from top Democrats.

Eric Holder, the sleazy law-breaking bag man for Barack Obama who helped destroy the credibility of the Department of Justice, just issued a statement in which he declared that "Michelle Obama says when (Republicans) go low, we go high. No! NO! When they go low we KICK them!"

Hillary Clinton, who once swore to accept the results of the election in which Donald Trump kicked her fanny, just declared "You cannot be civil with a political party that wants to destroy what you stand for, what you care about. That's why I believe if we are fortunate enough to win back the House and or the Senate, that's when civility can start again. But until then the only thing Republicans seem to recognize and respect is strength."

Hang on - we're pretty sure that there's a word that distills that whole thought. "Strength" applied in a way that lacks "civility"...  Oh yeah, now we remember! That word is violence.

And let's not forget Mad Maxine Waters, who helped pour gasoline on this anti-American fire by saying "If you see anyone from the Cabinet in a restaurant, a department store, at a gasoline station, you get out and create a crowd! And you push back on them! And you tell them they're not welcome anymore, anywhere!" Except, perhaps, the death camps that Maxine and her chums seemingly have in mind for citizens who won't do what they're told.

This is in no way amusing, because it's pushing our nation to a very dangerous place. Not that you'd know it from the mainstream media, which has now undertaken a concerted and coordinated effort to say that violent Leftist mobs aren't really "mobs" at all - they're just groups of concerned citizens who are expressing their first amendment rights by kicking people in their faces, beating cars with truncheons, harassing family homes, and - when things get a bit boring - setting things on fire.

It seems inevitable that blood will eventually be shed - and that's just what Holder, Hillary, Maxine, and the rest of their ilk want. In victimhood there is power...so why not push impressionable kids into acts so dangerous that a few may get shot while assaulting right wing Nazis?

That scenario is quite literally the Leftists' wet dream. And they're bothered not at all by whose blood will be providing the moisture.