Poll Cat

Yes, nothing says topical, post-election humor quite like a quantum theory joke! But considering the fact that we're writing this on Tuesday afternoon and don't know which way the elections are going to break, we couldn't help but think of Schrodinger's cat in a sealed box and its unresolved state of possibilities.

In much the same way, our immediate political future is in an unresolved state as these words are written...but by the time you read them, you'll know whehter Schrodinger's ballot box opened to reveal the electoral equivalent of a happy, purring, pampered kitty...or an appalling fly-infested mix of whiskers and rotting guts infested with feasting News maggots.

(Note: our sincere editorial apologies to any readers who read that last bit while still working on breakfast.)

Lacking the ability to expound further (we actually have a lot more to say about quantum theory, but have yet to meet anyone who was glad when we did), we're looking to you readers to help carry the conversational ball in the comments section today. Are we celebrating today or mourning? High-fiving or standing on ledges? Beats us...but in either case, it's not unlikely that we'll have a hangover today.

And speaking of confusing realities, we'll end this by noting our baffled reaction to alleged comedienne Amy Schumer's "get out the vote" tweet in which she showed an ultrasound of the child she's carrying in order to express the vital importance of people getting out and voting in order to keep unfettered abortion as available as drive-thru hamburgers.

Put another way, even Schrodinger's box isn't as confusing as Schumer's.

LATE NIGHT UPDATE

It would appear that the Dems have retaken the House, and will be even more annoying now. Idiots, socialists, and radicals will be committee heads, and specious congressional investigations into Trump, Kavanaugh, and probably everyone reading this blog will become a significant monkey wrench jammed into the machinery of America's recent successes.

Damn.

If Your Election Lasts More Than Four Hours...

Yes, we spelled "poling" that way on purpose.

Tomorrow is Election Day, and one way or another it's going to pack a wallop. We're either going to see the effective end of the Trump experiment as House Democrats begin two years of unending lawsuits, investigations, and impeachment attempts...or delicious agony and despair from Leftists as they're forced to endure ongoing gains in pretty much every measure of American success.

Actual logical discourse about which party should win has pretty much disappeared, as exemplified by the Democrats' ad in which a bunch of naked women stare dolefully at a camera while holding paper ballots over what is apparently the only important part of their anatomy.

Their message is clear enough: "we are ambulatory reproductive systems without enough sense to practice simple birth control or, God forbid, abstinence, and nothing matters to us other than the convenience of killing babies."

Seriously, shouldn't all women be offended by this campaign? Especially when they notice that there's no corollary in which men are being encouraged to vote with their schwanzstuckers?

The choices in this election are stark: mobs versus jobs, capitalism versus socialism, hate versus debate, division versus unity, logic versus emotion, and responsibility versus hedonistic chaos.

On Tuesday night, things are going to change. And sadly, the naked truth is that we don't know which way.

AND FROM THE VAULT

She'll be voting. Make sure you do, too!

Skinny Dips

With Halloween so recently in the rear view mirror, it's not surprising that some high-profile racists are allowing their masks to slip enough to show the more than skin-deep ugliness underneath.

CNN's Don Lemon, about whom it can truly be said "when Life gives you Lemon, take Life outside and beat it senseless," just declared that when it comes to terrorism, absolutely no group of people should be demonized. Except White men, of course, because they're "the biggest terror threat in this country."

To prove this, he cited statistics of killings by alleged White terrorists over the past 20 years or so, with the total number of victims being approximately the same as any 3-day weekend in the conspicuously non-White environs of Chicago.

Meanwhile, bitter clinger Hillary Clinton was being interviewed about civility in politics (because who could possibly be more of an expert?) when the program's host briefly confused Cory "Spartacus" Booker with Eric "Fast & Furious" Holder. Hillary helped the host over this embarrassing gaff by quipping of the Black men, "they all look alike."

The audience and usually volatile media outlets just laughed it off because, darn it, racist comments are funny when they come from screamingly liberal Democrats! Who can forget Senator (and former KKK member) Robert Byrd's heartwarming description of the working class poor as "White niggers?" Or Joe Biden's amazement that candidate Barack Obama was "articulate and clean," or Harry Reid's marveling at Obama's pleasingly "light skin" and ability to speak with "no Negro dialect, unless he wanted one."

Oddly, screaming Progressives can always get away with this kind of blatant racism, while those who show the least inclination to conservatism will be cast into the fires of Hell for saying anything, no matter how innocent or well intended, which can be construed as being racist.

As a case in point, Megyn Kelly has just been canned from a $69 million contract for mentioning casually on her morning show that it used to be okay for White kids to dress up as Black characters when she was a kid. When corrected, she apologized fully and sincerely and wanted to open a dialogue to help all sides express their views and perhaps find greater understanding between the races. But nooOOooo. Instead she's been thrown under Rosa Parks' bus and had her journalistic career ruined, not because of an act of hate speech, but because of an act of the far less acceptable honest speech.

Somehow, the word "hypocrisy" just isn't enough to describe the despicable double standards of the race-obsessed on the Left.

AND DON'T FORGET...

Speaking of things that make us feel like projectile vomiting...

Don't forget to turn your clocks back on Sunday so that you can screw up your sleep cycles, enjoy seeing midnight blackness outside at around 6 pm, and enjoy all of the gut-wrenching effects of jet lag without actually having to go somewhere potentially fun.

If Trump would promise an executive order ending Daylight Saving Time, we think he could pretty much lock up the midterm results he (and we) are hoping for.