Merry Christmas 2018

We're taking the day off to enjoy our family, and won't be posting on Wednesday. Best wishes for a merry and meaningful Christmas to all of you wonderful folks who visit Stilton's Place!

Jingle Belle Rocks

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The news may be grim, but we'll be damned if we're not going to at least try to put a smile on your face on the last Friday before Christmas! And who better to make that happen than America's favorite sugarplum, Busty Ross!

It would be indiscreet of us to mention what part of Miss Ross shakes "like a bowlful of jelly" when she laughs, but we'll admit to working a lot of Christmas-themed jokes into office conversation lately. For instance,  "How much did Santa's sleigh cost?" Answer: "Nothing, it was on the house!"

And no, Miss Ross didn't laugh either. 

Nor were we laughing when looking over recent news: thanks to the Fed's decision to shoot the Wall Street wounded, our portfolio has officially become a portfoliette, Mad Dog Mattis has announced that he's leaving the Trump administration in February, and 2019 is shaping up to be the year of unending idiotic legal proceedings to hamstring the President. 

But despite all of that (and much more), we're actually in a pretty good mood. Daughter Jarlsberg returns home for the holidays today, our neighborhood is ablaze in Christmas lights, and tidings of comfort and joy are in the air. Our favorite Christmas songs are playing nonstop, and our thoughts have turned to Peace on Earth and good will to men. And women. And "others," too - what the heck.

But most importantly, we want to say... "Hey Busty! What do angry mice send each other in December? Cross mouse cards!!!"

Wow. Tough room.

BONUS: Speaking of shaking things up for Christmas, this should do the job nicely!

Christmas Trimmings

In what should come as a shock to absolutely no one in these gender-confused times, a new poll has revealed that 27% of respondents would prefer Santa Claus to be female or gender neutral.

Mind you, the poll revealed additional results besides those suggesting that kids should go to bed on Christmas Eve while waiting to hear the clop, clop, clop of Bruce Jenner's track shoes landing on the roof.

Some respondents want Santa to have dreadlocks, to wear skinny jeans, get tattoos, and drive a convertible - suggesting not only gender confusion, but a significant mid-life crisis for Santa.

According to one respondent, "I just feel like a white, old man giving presents is kind of creepy." No doubt because in this person's mind, an endless supply of presents should actually be given away to all by a faceless, genderless government.

Which is, of course, largely funded by old white men who don't even get the option of deciding whether their funds will go to the naughty or the nice.