Spin Cycle

The Mueller Report is finished and the results are known. There was no evidence whatsoever of Russian collusion by Trump or anyone associated with him. There was no evidence whatsoever of any conspiracies amongst Trump and his people. And there was no objective evidence that Trump made any attempt to obstruct justice, even though Mueller - in a spectacular act of weasel-wording - chose to say that this lack of evidence "did not exonerate" Trump, and the decision should be made by the Attorney General of the United States. And that decision was (drum roll)... that there was no obstruction of justice.

In other words, all of the accusations we've heard from mainstream media talking heads, sleazy politicians, and Obama-era intelligence agency heads were complete and total lies, fabricated out of pure hatred and a desire to overturn the results of a Presidential election.

We should be in a celebratory mood over the Mueller Report, but we're not. After all, we've known the charges were baseless since before Trump was even sworn in. Nor can we take any pleasure in the notion that Mueller's Report is going to change the dialogue in the media or in Washington DC, because it won't make a damn dime's worth of difference. MSNBC, CNN, and the roughly five thousand Democratic presidential candidates are already out there proclaiming that this two year, $40 million dollar investigation doesn't clear Trump of anything. As AOC notably said (and we paraphrase for intelligibility) "it's more important to be morally right than factually accurate."

This comes as no surprise and, at this point, not even much of a disappointment. But what does concern us - a lot - is what comes next in terms of bringing to justice the many high-ranking officials,  including Obama, Hillary, and various intelligence heads, who tried to destroy the American election system and, failing that, subsequently attempted a Presidential coup d'etat.

That's the type of thing traditionally sorted out with fair trials and firing squads, although we'd be satisfied to see long, long jail sentences. Obama did a pretty good job of emptying his friends and allies out of our containment facilities at Guantanamo Bay, so we know there's plenty of room down there for those enemies of our nation and Constitution who no longer deserve the privilege of living on American soil.

Brushing the Dog

Okay, we give up. We wanted to write a nice post making fun of the most recent political idiocy, but we just can't today. And why? Because Penny (the official dog of Hope n' Change) is currently at the veterinarian's office getting her teeth cleaned, and we're on pins and needles waiting to find out that she's come through the trauma and anesthesia okay. After which, we'll probably self-administer a little personal anesthesia to calm our nerves.

Penny's predecessor, Maggie, thoroughly enjoyed having her teeth brushed - but Penny has never wanted any part of it. We've tried chicken flavored toothpaste, beef flavor, and peanut butter flavor (which was invented by George Washington Carver's dog) but Penny found none of them acceptable. Which is especially surprising considering the degree to which she enjoys Texas Yard Jerky, which is her own sun-baked poop. Yum!

Try as we might, we just can't focus on anything today other than nibbling our fingernails and having sweat bead on our brow while waiting for the phone call that we can finally bring our gleaming-toothed pooch home to safety.

She'll no doubt be wobbly for awhile, and will sporadically show her opinion of the days events by vomiting on our expensive new area rugs. Which, in fairness, is probably what we would have done anyway if really paying attention to the news.

Yeah, we've got a one-track mind today...

BONUS: THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME

The same look AOC had in her economics classes.

Penny is finally home (after seven hours!) from her trying day, and has decided that holding down the sofa for 24 hours or so is her best course of action. By tomorrow, she should be up and around again, and waiting to chase empty Clan MacGregor bottles around the backyard.

A little something we call Making Afternoons Great Again.

Ruth or Consequences?

Okay, we absolutely, genuinely wish no ill on Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg and hope that she's doing well...but we do wish that her handlers could give us some concrete proof that she's still got her marbles. And a pulse.

Cynics that we are, we didn't find ourselves entirely reassured by a recent article which informed us that Ginsburg had just celebrated her 86th birthday and that the perky pixie of jurisprudence was "all smiles" as she cavorted around town. Especially since this is the photo they used to prove her vim, vigor, and vitality...

Wow, she looks great! Unless that's, oh, literally anyone else in the entire world who wears glasses. Or perhaps a small child holding a Ginsburg balloon. Or Ruth being carried to a waiting hearse...we have no freaking idea.

For that matter, we don't even really know if this is actually a photo or a painting by someone trying to rip off the impressionistic "colored dots" style of Georges Seurat.

In any event, we wish Justice Ginsburg a "happy birthday" and hope that she gets well - and gets retired - as soon as possible.