Power Press

"Jim Acosta, put on that dunce cap or get the hell out."

White House Spokesperson Sarah Huckabee Sanders has announced that she's leaving her position at the end of the month, and she will be sorely missed. Or at least, she'll be sorely missed by those of us who appreciated her strength, her humor, her intelligence, and her mastery of facts. And more than that, her delectable ability and willingness to rip new superhighway-sized buttholes in the many aggressively ignorant poltroons in the Press Room.

Which is why the mainstream media is unsurprisingly doing their best to savage this fine woman on her way out. A quick check of "news" related to her departure offers up nice, neutral headlines like these: "Sarah Sanders was the disdainful Queen of Gaslighting (Washington Post)," "With Sarah Sanders Leaving, Trump Now Lies Along (USA Today)," "As Sarah Sanders Signs Off, a Look Back at Her Biggest Lies (Vanity Fair)," "Sarah Sanders' Legacy: The Death of the White House Press Briefing (CNN)."

During her tenure, many on the supposedly pro-women Left decided if they couldn't match wits with her, they'd attack her personally. Her weight, her makeup, her clothing choices, and her Arkansas roots were all mocked viciously and repeatedly, clearly demonstrating the hypocrisy and snobbishness of the Progressive Left. And Sarah handled it all with unflappable style and wit.

It's hard to conceive of a tougher job than that which Ms. Sanders has handled so impressively, and hard to imagine who can now do the job as capably. There are fun speculations out there: not only our own Busty Ross, but names like James Woods, Mark Steyn, Diamond and Silk, Greg Gutfeld, Jordan Peterson, Gilbert Gottfried, Roseanne Barr, ventriloquist Jeff Dunham and "Walter," and (our personal favorite) Deadpool.

Whoever gets the job, we hope they're as willing to bring the fight to a combative Press Corps as was Sarah Huckabee Sanders. She should be proud of her service, and we eagerly look forward to seeing how she will dumbfound and torture those on the Left in the future.

We didn't make this, but it's too good not to share again.

Eastern Double Standard Time

Political leftists dropped to the ground yesterday while experiencing eye-bugging, spit-foaming, limb-wrenching paroxysms of pure joy. This was not because they had been drinking from a mini-bar in the Dominican Republic (unfortunately), but rather because they thought that Donald Trump had finally been caught admitting that he's a collusion-loving, election-stealing traitor beholden to foreign powers.

As always, they couldn't possibly have gotten the story more wrong, but that didn't stop all of the usual Fake News outlets from reporting a non-event as if it were the crime of the century (typical headline: "Every Member of Team Trump Now Enabling Treason").

For those with a taste for actual facts, in an interview with ABC News correspondent George Stuffanappleupyourass, Trump was asked hypothetically if his 2020 campaign team would accept information from foreigners about opponents, or call the FBI. Trump answered, "I think you do both. There's nothing wrong with listening. If somebody called from a country, Norway, with information, I think I'd want to hear it. If I thought there was something wrong, I'd go maybe to the FBI."

All of which is entirely ethical, appropriate, and standard operating procedure by every candidate in every election. Which is why we found it hard to believe when former (and probably current) Clinton hatchet man Streptococcolous feigned wide-eyed ignorance regarding the very concept of opposition research.

Trump has, of course, complained about the way the Fake News media is twisting his words. In turn, they will surely accuse him of being anti-semantic.

Speechless

Our lips aren't moving today either, because nothing in the news really seemed fun to comment on. Trump and Biden calling each other names? AOC claiming that she (and other Representatives) needs a raise from her $174,000 annual salary to make corruption less tempting? A cobweb-covered John Dean testifying before Jerry "I've Got a Saline Drip Under My Coat" Nadler that Trump's alleged obstruction of justice is Watergate all over again? Nope, we ain't gonna do it.

But rather than leave you completely empty-handed, we decided to post the photo above which, we believe, is the earliest known image of Robert Mueller when he was still working in vaudeville.

As always, the comments section is open for intellectual discussions about the news of the day, world events, or what the heck kind of glue is used to stick roses on a lady's thermostats.

STOP THE PRESSES!

Okay, we weren't going to do a topical cartoon, but then this happened...

While dozens of Democrat presidential wannabees are offering "everything free for everyone forever," Joe Biden has upped the ante by declaring that as president he will cure cancer. And, if elected for a second term, he will presumably raise the dead.

As campaign promises go, that's a whopper - and pretty hard to swallow considering that Joe thought Obamacare was a "big f*cking deal" because it would make health insurance dirt cheap and, if you liked your doctor, you could keep your doctor. That didn't happen, and a lot of patients who liked their oncologists weren't able to keep their oncologists.

And what is there in Biden's past that suggests he has the leadership and scientific acumen to cure cancer? Keep in mind that this is the same bumbling idiot who Obama gave the critically important job of combating violence in videogames...

Curing cancer should indeed be a national priority, and there's nothing wrong with a candidate saying that they'll increase research funding. But to actually promise a cure is an appalling attempt to take political advantage of those suffering with cancer as well as anyone who has lost friends and family members to this devastating illness. And that's all of us.

We suggest that Joe Biden spend time looking into a cure for shamelessness before setting his sights on loftier targets.